Tag: dreams

Brave. Strong. Motivated. Let’s do this, 2014!

OK, so this morning I woke up from the most powerful dream (don’t worry – I won’t be THAT person and bore you with the details). I know I might sound a little airy fairy but occasionally a dream will just slam me right between the eyeballs (or right in the heart) with a message for my life and I just know I have to listen. Did you know that occasionally I am accidentally psychic too? Freaky.

So today, I am feeling really philosophical and very determined to take this new year by the horns and live the best life I can. To be brave and strong, but also to cherish those I love and not take them for granted.

I might let some quotes do some of the talking for me.

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We can only do our best in life, based on what tools and skills we have at our disposal. Some of us are better equipped than others for many different reasons. However, I do truly believe that it is our duty to always seek out new information and new ways to solve our problems. To work on the skills we need to improve on. To actively seek help when we are struggling to do better. To help others when they reach out (if someone really really wants to change we need to help them embrace that because dammit, change is hard sometimes). We should always strive to ‘know better’. Once we do ‘know better’, I feel it’s our responsibility to ‘do better’. We should never pretend to un-know something. We have to work hard and do some tough stuff to get to better places in life. We owe it to ourselves for happier lives and also to our loved ones – especially our younger generations.

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I don’t want to get too dramatic but sometimes it feels like our lives depend on it.

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It’s time for us to be good people. The world needs more good people. We need to inspire those around us and surround ourselves with other good people so we may stay inspired too.

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We can all be good at talking about an issue forever, but can we put those words into action? I want to only trust the actions of others (rather than constantly believing in their words and than inevitably despairing at their lack of action) and to hold myself accountable too.

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It can sometimes be much easier to maintain a status quo and not question it. It takes a lot of courage to stand out on a limb and do what feels best for you. It can feel scary and it takes courage, because sometimes people don’t understand what you’re doing or they don’t like how it makes them feel when you better yourself. It’s worth it, despite the hard work and the doubters. Stay strong and maybe you’ll inspire someone else. Maybe your new trend will catch on. Stay true to yourself. Here’s to being brave.

What’s inspiring you as we see in 2014? x

I can’t wait.

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So I take it that if you’re reading this post, you survived Christmas. Congrats! Seriously. It’s a crazy holiday season. Now that Santa’s been and gone, I’m just totally, ridiculously, OTT excited about 2013. I’ve always been super sentimental about the new year, but this year feels different. My 2012 was the biggest mixed bag I’ve ever experienced. Highs, lows, you name it. I’ve had a lot of time to think about my life and where I want it to head, as well as having no time at all to think! It’s a really strange thing.

I’m so excited about the start of 2013 because I feel like I’m finding myself again. The first year of parenthood has been amazing, but I felt like I lived up to my blog title so much so that it got a bit crazy! It’s all about flying by the seat of your pants. I looked back on my 2012 diary lately and had to laugh at the obsessive lists I wrote almost every day as I tried to navigate life as a brand spankin’ new parent. Life was pretty full up with feeding times, nappy bag supplies and WHAT IS HE DOING NOW – I CAN’T KEEP UP – WRITE MORE LISTS!!! I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN NAME RIGHT NOW. Now that the Little Mister has seen his first birthday come and go, I feel like 2013 will be a time to start remembering who I am outside of being ‘mum’ as well. My body, mind and spirit. Although, being a parent is definitely a huge (wonderful) part of that, I finally feel like I can look forward to balancing that with my other life pursuits as well (as significant or as seemingly insignificant as they may seem from the outsider’s perspective).

I am finding the end of 2012 to be a time where I know what my body is doing (and while I’m not really liking what it’s doing – I at least have come to feel like I’m back in tune with it haha). I know in my mind what I want out of life. I feel inspired enough to actually make stuff happen. I want to be creative. I want to use my brain for lots more things than just zombie mummy stuff. Dare I say it, I’m ready to be a little selfish. In a good way, of course.

I usually say that I am not into New Year’s resolutions, but this year I say f*ck it. I have some. Deal with it 😉

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Look after my body and mind.
Yeah, yeah. Not exactly original. So what? I’m feeling it so I’m going with it! Of course I’d love to lose 7 kg and turn into a hot bikini babe, blah blah (if you ignore the stretch marks and old pregnancy rash scars haha), but it’s about much more than that. I want to book myself regular hair appointments, get my nails done, try nice beauty products etc. I need to spend more time in the kitchen making better food for myself as well as getting a bit more exercise into my busy day. I want to revamp my wardrobe (and give myself permission to spend the time and money). I want to take care of myself. I need to invest in myself. I can’t hide behind the Little Mister’s cuteness forever!! You know when you head out looking like a slob, but you tell yourself everyone will be looking at your baby so it’s OK? Well, I’ve decided it’s not OK to tell myself that anymore!!  Sure, time and money (even energy) can be a factor, but I am determined to make a bigger effort.

Organise gifts/special occasions ahead of time so I can be creative.
Christmas time really brought it home to me that I spent all year playing catch up when it came to gift giving/birthday remembering/any occasion at all. I am determined to try harder this year. Time just passed me by and I want to spend a little extra time showing those in my life that I appreciate them. While budget/time restraints may mean that I might have to be a little selective sometimes, there’s no reason that given enough time and planning, I can’t be creative. I don’t want to get to December 24th, 2013 and be all, “OMG. I haven’t done my Christmas shopping  and I don’t know where to start and I have to go to the crazy shops with the fullest car parks, in the hottest weather…WITH A TODDLER?!”

Yeah, I learnt from that mistake this year…

I’ve already set up a secret Pinterest board with gift ideas, as well as one for party food ideas (that one’s not a secret – it’s just yummy) and anything that will make me into a more proactive friend/family member throughout the year. I want to dangle at least one foot out of the mummy whirlpool I’ve been in for the past year and rejoin the rest of the world without feeling guilty or neglectful of the other areas of my life. I am sick of scrambling about at the last minute (I’m sure I won’t be perfect at it but I’m going to try harder – let’s be realistic).

Improve my blog.
Of course, I’ve told my husband (and anyone we know who might have a rich uncle) that I could totally do this if I had a MacBook Air…but jokes aside, I just want to update the look of this little space, invest in making it appear more professional (even if the content is totally unprofesh’ hahaha). I love writing. I love the support my readers have given me throughout the year and I just want to keep making this a great place for everyone to come and hang out in. Of course I would love to see my readership grow and maybe make something good out of it all. I’m not in it for money or fame (which is lucky really), but I want to keep ‘working’ on something I love to do.

Home Makeoverrrrrrrrr!
Nothing drastic. I just want to follow through with all the ideas I keep getting. I seem to think of something, then promptly decide it’s too hard or too expensive. Nothing’s too expensive if you do it right, so that excuse can go you-know-what itself. Also, it’s time I really got my creative spirit going. A beautiful home that reflects my little family and who we are is something I really want the Little Mister to grow up in and remember. We may not live in this house forever, but I’m going to start making it into our family home. I say this almost every year and take tiny steps towards the goal, but I never follow through. This year it’s going to be different. I feel like we’re going to be more settled and stable. I like that. I also hope I didn’t just jinx myself…

I just feel like it’s time to shake things up. Make ‘home’ a really interesting and vibrant place to be. Fresh and energised.

Date nights/days.
Sometimes my husband and I can get really busy (and so can our babysitter extraordinaire parents) and this past year we completely neglected couple time. We had some bumps in the road, but now it’s time to focus on ‘us’ more. I hope that at least once every couple of months (minimum), we can go watch a gold class movie or head to a gig/show somewhere. Nothing has to cost a lot. It doesn’t even have to be night time excursions. Just has to be us doing something that is purely for us.

We did spend 2012 using our babysitting favours to attend weddings and other social events with friends, but we need to acknowledge that it’s not the same as taking time purely as a couple.

All in all, I feel a lot of hope for the year ahead. Life will always bring the unexpected hiccups and roller coaster rides and I might laugh at these resolutions in a few months’ time when I realise something ridiculous has completely thrown everything on its head, but for now I am enjoying that optimistic feeling. To me, that hope is the most beautiful part of looking towards a new year. Also, I get to use new stationery. I’m looking at you, brand new totally cute planner from Typo!! So there’s that 😉

It probably goes without saying, but I also can’t wait to keep watching the Little Mister’s journey into toddlerhood roll out. Lots of surprises and new experiences in store for all of us. I love that little dude. I just want to keep being the best parent I can be. I want to be kind to myself as a parent and much less insecure than I have been since he was born – gotta keep remembering to trust my instincts (it’s always a work in progress). I want to teach my little man how to be the best Little Mister he can be.

What are your hopes and dreams for 2013?

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It’s the little things.

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I used to have big dreams. To travel the world. Accidentally be discovered dancing and singing in my car and then becoming an overnight rock star success. Have my iPhone handy just at the very moment my dog does something hilarious like walking like a human or befriending an elephant, so I could record it and become a YouTube sensation. You know, big stuff.

Now, ten weeks after having one of those tiny humans (I think they’re called bebbehs) my dreams have become somewhat simpler.

Shall I share these simple dreams with you? Shall I?

I dream of…

Doing number 2s without hearing the baby crying for me
Look, the only real alone time I get when my husband is working is after Little Mister’s bedtime. Now, it would be all swell if I could schedule my urges to do my you-know-whats on the loo, but apparently human biology doesn’t quite work so perfectly…it’s really hard when I’m halfway through … *ahem* completing an important project (ie doing my business) and he starts wailing in his bassinet or his pram where I have thoughfully (and safely) stashed him for a moment.

Having time to read a magazine
Like actually flicking through the pages, absorbing what the words say (not just glancing at the pictures so fast your head might spin off) and making a leisurely time of it. Recently I had blood tests at the local pathology clinic and I had to wait for two hours in the waiting room. Did this make me grumpy? Hell no! My husband had the baby at home and I joyously pulled my 12 week old Marie Claire out of my handbag – this was my moment! I had been holding onto that magazine since just before the Little Mister was born…nine and a half weeks earlier…

I dream of maybe reading another magazine one day in the future. Maybe even *gasp* starting and finishing a book! Like an actual novel. How exciting!

Although, in the meantime I am actually saving a lot of money I would normally have spent on magazines and books…and spending it on nappies and other really expensive baby shit. I mean stuff. Note to self: stop swearing before Little Mister starts trying out that whole talking thing…you’ve got a few months but let’s not get complacent!

I laugh at the fact that when I packed my hospital bag, I included a brand new Jodi Picoult novel. For some reason I thought I’d have so much down time during my leisurely five day stay. Old Kez = idiot. Let’s not make that mistake again!

Hearing that dopey little slow breathing sound before the baby falls asleep
Oh that sound is like music to my ears. It’s that sound you recognise as being the start of a peaceful evening. It means that there will be no more crying or wriggling and that he’s all happy, content and about to sleep well. It’s also the cutest sound ever. I usually hear it at 7 (his supposed bed time), 7:15, 7:30 and 8pm. This is because those are the times he wakes up screaming about the fact that he would rather be awake hanging out with the grown ups, before kind of dozing off each time. On the bright side, he does sleep really well once he’s actually off to Sleep Town. A place I am yet to rediscover!

Having two hands and being able to use them at the same time
I gave birth to the world’s biggest cuddle-bug. He just wants to be carried around all day if I let him. This means that household tasks are a one-handed challenge. On the occasions when I am afforded the use of both my hands, it’s so liberating! Once I caught myself trying to do some washing with one hand even though the baby wasn’t there. I sometimes forget what it’s like to be physically free! I’ve tried a sling and a Baby Bjorn carrier, but no. My little boss doesn’t really like them (he will tolerate them for very short stretches of time). I never thought I would enjoy the freedom to wash some dishes or hang out some washing! It’s truly the little things.

Making a dinner that wasn’t once frozen, isn’t leftovers and didn’t come home in a plastic container or paper bag
I sometimes get to realise this dream. Often not until 8:30pm at night, but it’s a start. There’s nothing more exciting than serving up some steak and three (fresh) vegetables to my husband in the evening. It means I’ve achieved something. I’ve taken on a mammoth challenge and and conquered it. I deserve one of those Michelin stars or whatever is the highest honour a masterchef can acquire.

The old me would shudder in her grave. She’d say, “Boring. Try something new, you muppet!”

Changing a nappy and not getting peed on…or worse.
Each time this happens, I feel like the luckiest lady on Earth. Seriously. I dream of becoming an expert at the Quick Change. The ability to switch the dirty nappy for the clean nappy as fast as a frickin’ ninja. Did you see that? No? That’s because I did it so fast, motherf…mofo.

I am always tripped up by the need to apply nappy rash cream. I reach for that little tube, get a little cream on my fingers, get closer to the…buttal region (yes – I invented that terminology along with boobal region and a few other regions you won’t find on any maps)…and then it happens. More wees. Or worse. Both baby and I are completely exposed and vulnerable. It’s not pretty.

Eating an entire meal in one sitting (with both hands – see above)
I have joked before that I’m on the 50% less everything diet because I spent a good few weeks eating only half of every meal. Especially lunch or breakfast. I’m getting better at eating “one hand” foods or coordinating lunch dates or ways of tricking other people into helping with bub while I eat (yep – clever huh). I like eating in the car. It means the bubba is calm and safe in his little seat. It’s even more awesome when my husband is driving. LOOK! TWO HANDS! EATING FOOD! FINISHING IT! LIKE A BOSS!

Breathing out
Sometimes I forget to do this.

See also:
Painting my nails.
Buying groceries and not forgetting anything on the list.
Ironing.
Remembering to pee.
Being able to think straight while the baby screams in my ear.
Clearing out my googlereader.
Not being paranoid about leaking boobs when I’m out in public.
Getting around to vacuuming under the little coffee table in the family room so my feet don’t feel anything crunchy when I sit on the couch.
Winning the lottery so my husband never has to work again and we can be stay at home mummies together forever (OK so that’s a big dream).

What are your simple dreams? (they don’t have to be baby/mummy related)

Holy crap – we forgot the baby! And other weird pregnancy nightmares.

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I have always been quite the off-the-wall nocturnal dreamer. I’ve always thought that my dreams really make for some awesome viewing. If my dreams were movies they would be artsy masterpieces woven with intricate meanings and kooky humour (or just an episode of Family Guy). I think Ellen Page would play the main character in all of them.

In the last couple of weeks, I have lost the ability to sleep deeply. This is partially due to my husband taking up the awesome new hobby that people like to call Snoring (don’t even get me started). It is also to do with me being a little uncomfortable some nights (belly squishing ahoy!) and I think there’s something else going on. Something that keeps me in an eternal limbo between being half awake and constantly dreaming. A Kez’s Subconscious Movie Marathon of sorts. I’m adjusting, but it’s a little odd. I thought this stuff wasn’t supposed to happen until later? I never got the memo about this.

ARE MY DAYS OF SLEEPING BLISSFULLY LIKE A LOG OVER?! Mums, don’t answer that.

One thing I was told to be prepared for is strange dreams. Pfft, I thought. I’ve got this in the bag. I already dream about weird stuff – I won’t even notice the difference. I own that sh*t.

And then the other night happened. I dreamed that we had the baby (it was blonde and looked suspiciously like the baby on the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special we had just watched before bed – yes Christmas special). In the dream I basically forgot we had a baby, went out for dinner and realised I didn’t know where the hell we’d left it and whether or not we should go and check on it. Of course I panicked a lot…pre-parental anxiety anyone?

When I woke up, Husband Features listened to me recount the dream, put a comforting arm around me and said, “Don’t worry – I know that when we have a baby you won’t forget it.”

That’s reassuring, that is!

After that I had a dream that we had moved a strange housemate in and that she would be living in our bedroom. I didn’t know if that was a good idea or not (didn’t seem great for privacy reasons) and wasn’t sure if I should offer her the TV remote.

My subconscious rocks.

Then I had a dream that made me panic. I was still pregnant in this dream, but I was returning to work after a long hiatus. I was going to have my old job back. Only when I got there I was handed a course outline (like you get given at the beginning of a new semester of university) and told about my assignments and study plan. Assignments!! I was devastated. DIDN’T MY EMPLOYERS KNOW I HAD DONE THREE HARD YEARS OF UNI AND GRADUATED ALREADY?! I WAS NOT GOING TO DO THIS SH*T ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

In the dream I was almost bawling with frustration. I can tell you now, I was stoked to wake up and realise that it was all a figment of my messed up subconscious! Phew!

A lot of my dreams seem to feature me dealing with looking after a “third” person or a vulnerable little life in some capacity. Like pregnancy book advice 101. I’m so textbook.

What have you been dreaming about lately (pregnant or not)?