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Catching up with Kez (that’s me).

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If you’re fairly new to this blog, there’s probably a good chance you’ve not had a chance to read ALL of my amazing archive of ridiculous posts. If you have, I don’t know whether to congratulate you (and thank you for your loyalty) or to call the authorities! STALKER!!! Don’t worry, I choose the former. I thought I’d put together a post (made up of my older posts) where you can catch up on all that is Awesomely Unprepared!

So I go by the nickname Kez. I am an Aussie 20 something year old (I can’t say that for much longer but let me hold onto it), who lives in the suburbs with my husband (been together for 10 years), my Little Mister (18 months) and our two dogs. I used to have a (now defunct) blog called So I Was Thinking… but when I found out I was pregnant, I felt like I needed a fresh start. I knew I was in for plenty of adventures in parenthood and while I didn’t want to blog just about that (huge) part of my life, I wanted to make a space where I could. I knew life would never be the same again (especially after I had to cancel the Contiki tour – doh). The blog title just came to me and I am a little in love with it, because it really is the story of my life now. I am always feeling awesomely unprepared! I welcomed everybody to my new blog in May 2011, as a relatively non anonymous blogger (scary!) and took my damn time to reveal my pregnancy (although my friends did seem to suspect something was up)!

I really loved the first trimester of pregnancy (although I was too scared to eat anything because I’d read too many books), but boy did sh*t get cray cray by the halfway point! Just when I was starting to discover a domestic goddess that had been hidden deep deep deep within, I got the rare pregnancy condition known as PUPPP (which stands for horrible f*cking rash), gestational diabetes and I waddled a lot because I was quite a big pregnant person. That put an end to my pregnancy induced baking antics quick smart. Pity. I was quite the Masterchef. OK, more like My Kitchen Rules contestant. Ooh, I just made a snobby joke about rival cooking shows (you might not understand if you’re not in Australia – apologies).

I went into labour, because of a freak infection I’d had for the two weeks prior. The Little Mister was born three weeks early – I was in the hospital less than 3 hours before he was delivered via emergency C-section!! How’s that for efficiency?! Well, it was more of a necessity. Luckily I was just lucid enough to choose a name (with Mr Unprepared’s sober help) before the Little Mister was whisked away to another hospital (he was sick too) and we were separated for the first three days of his life. It was an overwhelming time, that’s for sure.

I soon learnt a lot about parenthood. The sleep deprivation, the crazy crazy love you can feel for your child and the strength you need to withstand constant judgement and unsolicited advice from strangers (or people you wish were strangers). I know the true meaning of mess now. I’m still not so awesome at being a domestic goddess, with most efforts ending in vain anyway. I’ve learnt how to be a bit more OK with that.

I am enjoying being a stay at home mum and 18 months in, I still get amazed at how unpredictable life is, but I’m ready to just roll with the punches after the initial shock of parenthood managed to sink in!

It’s fun having a toddler (although the Terrible 2s are approaching fast – crocodile tears central). I love watching the Little Mister grow and learn. He’s a crack up and he makes me very happy. I have particularly enjoyed his attempts to emulate the adults in his life – so amusing watching him pretending to vacuum or talk on the phone. Ever want to know how you child sees you? Just wait until they’re imitating you with embarrassing precision…

I’m getting used to the fact that you have to watch your belongings like a hawk. We lost our remote control for the TV for a month, only to find it in a box filled with mismatched sock during a desperate moment! Lately we’ve had to give the Little Mister his own ‘decoy’ wallet so we don’t lose our own. It’s nuts. Parenthood isn’t a full time job. It’s an over time job. Without pay or sick leave!!!

I’ve certainly learnt to never take me-time for granted. Or travel without children. Or the ability to do things with two hands. Or a disposable income. Guys, I am SO excited because I have a hair appointment for this weekend. The first one in an obscene amount of time. Woot.

If you were to have known me for a while, you would know all about my weird thought patterns and awkward moments. You would also know about my rather unfortunate love of bad TV. Seriously. It takes all my self control to walk past all of the Kardashian related DVDs in my local supermarket every week, without buying all of them. Oh yes. I can cry during soppy reality TV moments with the best of them. Especially if they remind me of the fact that I’m adopted. Cue the ugly cry!

My blog isn’t all about parenthood. Well, not directly (although it seems to creep its way into everything I write about). It chronicles the ups and downs of my attempts to get fit and healthy. I share my love of mushy/inspirational quotes that I find on Pinterest. Yes, I’m a stay at home mum now. I like Pinterest. Goes with the territory. Who am I?! OK, so now I just totally turned you off…you’re leaving…don’t leave…

Wait, here’s a post with a picture of a hot guy at the bottom of it!

Or a picture of me. Because, you know. I’m so hot for a five foot tall, dorky gal who needs to lose 5kg ;)

All caught up now? If that was all too much and you just skimmed over the post (ain’t nobody got time for that!), then here’s my life story in 250 words :)

If you aren’t completely sick of me after all that, you can totally ‘like’ me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter or hide outside my bathroom window. Um, don’t do that last thing. Please.

Thank you to my readers for getting to know me at some point over the past two years or so. I feel so grateful and I love all of my blogging friends. Even the dad ones. Or the real life friends and family who are totally lurking right now and are scared to tell me! ;)

You’re awesome xx

This post is a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.



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Falling off the wagon.

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So, remember that time when I was all like, “Look at me, guys! I’m getting all fit and losing weight and stuff!” ? I was exercising like a demon – daily! I was counting my calories and my husband was joining in. It was going great guns! Throw in the passing of my beloved grandfather, Easter, a trip interstate (where you’re eating socially a lot), an injury and a few other breaks to the usual routine…well, suddenly every day becomes ‘cheat day’!

Basically, I am confessing to the fact that I have fallen off the good eating + exercise bandwagon. Hard.

I still weigh just under 3kg less than I did when I started getting fit and healthy earlier this year, but I am slowly gaining weight back. I am not exercising regularly and I have become addicted to salty, starchy and fatty foods again. Don’t even get me started on the weirdest cake cravings I had for weeks on end (which I thankfully did not often indulge).

I still have at least 5 kg to lose. At least. I need to get back into action. While I am constantly on the go, with a very active 18 month old, this is not enough if I don’t eat right or exercise more mindfully.

I need to remember how good I felt when I was living healthier. It was awesome seeing the weight drop off bit by bit. While I wasn’t aiming for fast weight loss (in fact it was very slow), it was great to know that I was keeping on top of it and that my lifestyle did not have to change much. I was just making good choices. On the occasions (about once a week) that I had a cheat day I realised that I didn’t need so much in my stomach (it seemed to have shrunk back to its normal size) and if I ate something terrible, my metabolism didn’t care so much. I’d be back on track really fast. I felt like I was living the life of a skinny person. I could eat and not gain weight after seemingly every meal. My body had a new, healthy default setting to return to. As long as I did the right thing more than I did the less right thing, my body didn’t let me down! I felt happier from all the endorphins, I had more energy and I slept well at night (it killed my insomnia).

I need to get back there. My emotions have been all over the place. I have felt less confident in some of my clothes. I am scared of returning to my scary weight. I am also very acutely aware that if I should choose to have another child in the next few years, I would like to put myself in a position where my body has somewhere good to return to!!

So I am going to take baby steps back to where I was. In hindsight, I probably was going a bit hard with the exercise in particular (I was behaving like a contender for the Biggest Loser – ). A few life hiccups and I was spectacularly derailed. Perhaps I need to ease back in, rather than go so hard that I peak early. I’ll start with my nutrition and some low impact exercise and build myself back up to where I left off.

I can totally do this.

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How do you motivate yourself to exercise and eat right?

This post is a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.



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A friendship from two perspectives.

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Today I bring to you a weird documentation of a friendship that has stood the test of time, written from both of our perspectives. It’s been about 16 years (I probably got that wrong because I’m sh*t at maths).

I’ll go first…

Kez Unprepared

I met Ash (who now comes complete with new blog which she totally does not update enough despite showing great promise) in high school. We kept each other company in home room. We made bad jokes and I supported Ash’s love of TV presenter Ray Martin (with the unmoving hair), out of pity because I felt like she needed to not be so weird and alone. Kidding. She wasn’t alone. She was just weird. We bonded over creative writing projects (nerds!) and we enjoyed being all sarcastic about our shared private schooling experiences, mocking the weird social ladders that tend to exist in those environments. I liked Ash for her ability to read people and see through the bull.

Ash is always on the move. Picking up and moving from cool place to cool place, living the bachelorette life (mostly) and enjoying the non-parenting life. Ah, the spontaneity!

Despite our lives being quite different, we always make time for each other (when we can). I don’t think that some of our private Facebook messages should ever see the light of day. We’d probably end up in jail. Actually, I think we once had a conversation about what we would do if we both ended up in jail. Things get pretty wacky when we use technology to communicate. We can start off talking about the meaning of life and then end up talking about jailhouse fashion or quoting Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl song.

That sh*t is bananas.

Ash tends to bitch about parents and people who are married a lot. I am married with a kid, so you’d think our friendship would have imploded by now. Despite all odds, we’re closer than ever. I think I really like Ash’s honesty and it makes me feel like I can be honest too. That’s a good quality to have in a friend.

Also, despite not being a massive fan of kids, she’s quite a fan of the Little Mister. She buys him little presents and loves the silly photos I send her. It’s cute seeing them dance together (to music that may or may not even be playing) in a cafe, while I frantically eat my lunch.

I feel like Ash is a childhood memory that will scar me for life ;)

UPDATE YOUR BLOG, DUDE. Ray Martin would want you to. Do it for Ray Martin and his Lego hair.

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Smokey Douglas aka Ash

So I have this friend called Kez. I’ve known her for a while. We bonded back in the days of high school over our general weirdness and our love for Ray Martin (case in point). We graduated, and remained friends. I went off to uni and graduated and Kez went to a lot of unis, and we remained friends. Kez got married while I continued jumping from bad relationship to bad relationship and we remained friends. Kez had a kid and we remained friends. I moved to Melbourne, to London, to Melbourne and a thousand other hovels in between, while Kez made a family home and we remained friends.

I know what you’re thinking, gosh they must really love Ray Martin. And we do. But there are other things that help keep the friendship alive. Because let’s face it, our lives are pretty much as opposite as you can get, and the things in common (on the surface) are dwindling every year as our lives continue in opposite directions, so as amazing as Ray Martin is (it’s the hair ok!) he can’t keep us together forever.

Kez is my friend who I can turn to no matter how shit the situation and she will make me laugh. Well actually her manipulation of her son makes me laugh. Who doesn’t love getting sent a picture of 2 year old smiling cheekily into the camera, with a caption that says “Hey Ash, I’m not wearing pants!”

She’s also honest. She doesn’t just put a smile and pretend everything is fine and dandy. If her day is shit, she’ll tell you. If she’s struggling, she’ll say. It’s a lot easier to turn to a friend and say “I’m having a bad day and I feel like a failure” when you know you won’t be judged in return.

The best part of Kez though is that she has a sense of humour. I don’t understand children, nobody gave me the manual to read, so I am constantly saying things and doing things that I think most mums would take serious offence too. Like my approach to mother’s day; “how come I don’t get a day where I get lavished with presents to celebrate the fact I’m smart enough to use birth control?” Or my approach to raising a child; “Can’t you just shove it in the Ikea ball pit and go to the pub?” While yes, she probably takes offence, she also laughs! Whether it’s at me or with me, well minor details people!

So while Ray Martin still holds a special place in my heart, Kez has become more than that. She is a friend that stands the test of time and I know no matter what, she’ll always cheer me up, have a giggle and nag me to death to update my blog.

This post is a (loosely interpreted) part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. 



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My favourite (recent) photo of me.

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I love photos. I love taking them and I don’t mind being in them, as long as I look alright-ish. I just think there’s no better way to collect your memories. I love capturing the most candid moments and there’s nothing better than reminiscing over happy times.

I have so many favourite photos, but this is my favourite recent photo of myself. It was taken at the music festival I attended last weekend. My best friend (and the day’s partner in crime) took it. I always feel uncomfortable asking for someone to take a photo of me, because I don’t want to seem vain, but I knew she would understand. I wanted to prove that I had gotten out and done something different from my usual daily life :)

For me, this photo represents me as an individual, not just a mummy or a wife. Oh, and I actually put on some lippie and did my hair!!! I actually felt a little bit attractive – something you can’t always feel when you’re dragging a toddler around (I imagine it’s not unlike wrestling a crocodile to watch).

I truly love photographs of myself where I’m with my family or my husband, but when I was looking for a photo to feature today, I realised that they weren’t my favourite pictures of me. They were my favourite photos of my loved ones!

My shirt says, “Count your blessings”. My favourite life motto. It’s something that I really have clung onto the past few weeks – life has been a roller coaster!

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend xx

This post was a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. 



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A day in the life.

My life hasn’t exactly been the most scintillating this week. After I had fun being 90s rocker Kez at a music festival on Saturday, followed by the pamper fest that was Mother’s Day, reality has come back to hit me in the face. Today was definitely one of those days! I’ve documented it here in tweets, rather than photos because no-one wants to see my dirty dishes, my bra-less, frumpy “staying in” outfit or the fact that the Little Mister wore his pyjamas ALL DAY.

The Little Mister woke me at 2am and I do not think I slept solidly from then until 7am. I spent over an hour loitering in the hallway outside his room while he whinged, stopped, whinged, stopped, whimpered, stopped, cried, stopped. He had misplaced his dummy and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore (do I get points for patient parenting?), I found him sitting bolt upright in the corner of his cot, eyes squeezed shut, having a whinge. He did look so sad. He had tried reeeeeally hard to manage without his dummy (which he is addicted to at sleep time), but it just wasn’t working out. I then spent the next hour awake in bed hoping he wasn’t too uncomfortable or sick and worrying that he might have wet through his nappy (or was due to). I wasn’t going back to have a look-see!!!

It’s starting to feel like a conspiracy. My husband got me tickets for a show a million bajillion years months ago. We’ve been so excited for our upcoming date night and it’s almost here! Of course, the Little Mister spends the lead up to it getting sick with a cold, suffering a sleep regression and developing conjunctivitis. My parents (the lucky babysitters) are a tad nervous as he’s staying overnight and has revived his separation anxiety issues of late! All I can hope for is a guilt free, care free night – fingers (and everything else) crossed!!! Please don’t let this turn into some kind of cruel twist of Murphy’s lore thing.

Yeah, yeah. We watched a bit of teev. Little Mister was quite tired and grumpy and I just needed him to sit still for a while. Meanwhile, I looked on in horror at their native animal scene created soley out of toilet rolls and pipe cleaners and all the things that simply are not found in an every day home.

No joke. 15 minutes of the deepest sleep I’ve ever achieved in such a short time was a lifesaver. I actually felt more rested when I awoke. I guess any sleep is great when you’re existing on 3 hours from the previous night.

Due to his usual form, the Little Mister visited me in his IKEA circus tent (where I may have been hibernating a little), with his favourite book. He likes to wait until I put on my enthusiastic face, start reading in a perky voice and then bail. I stubbornly kept reading, hoping he’d come back but I think I knew the jig was up when I heard Elmo singing some song about loving his goldfish (and his crayons too). I may or may not have stayed in the tent for a bit longer…

It’s so lucky he’s funny and cute. I was fading fast. He likes to use different toys as phones. He puts them up to his ear, says “Hello”, followed by a lot of emphatic nodding of his head and gibberish that sounds very matter of fact. I hate to think that he may be imitating me…am I really like that? :P

It was one of those days where I was stuck at home, feeling cabin fever, frustration at all my plans that were put on hold (Little Mister being in quarantine) and fatigue triggering all my insecure thoughts. It was horrible, but I hung in there as best I could and tried to focus on the Little Mister. A good conversation with my husband on the phone really did do wonders. He was a good listener and very supportive. I couldn’t wait until he got home.

The Little Mister seemed quite suspicious of green beans today for some reason. I tricked him into eating one. He didn’t even notice. One point to me!

Gosh, a hug does wonders. The Little Mister perked right up when he saw his dad (probably sick of my face). That kept him going for a bit longer through arsenic hour.

The Little Mister loves bath time and I think he secretly wanted extra hugs from Mr Unprepared, so instead of insisting on a nudie run around the house (slippery little sucker), he flopped about in his arms so he had to be carried all the way. Little Monster. He’s a heavy little chap.

I am now writing up this blog post, with my feet up. Psyching myself up for a nice sleep tonight (we hope). Once I’ve posted this, it’s snuggle time with my hubby who has been working longer hours this week so we can make tomorrow’s date night possible. Let’s hope our team work gets us through!!

How was your day? Tell me all the boring stuff :)  

This post was a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.



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10 things that make me very happy.

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1. Making it through a tough day and still feeling strong. Today has been the mother of all days. Nothing particularly ridiculous has happened, but it was tiring. I forgot to pack the stroller back into the car before setting off to Toddler Jam (an hour of toddler filled chaos dancing and singing). That was fine, but the Little Mister  showed distinct signs of conjunctivitis DURING THE SESSION (and was getting grumpier by the minute) so we had to high tail it out of there. To a pharmacy. Who told us that we would need a prescription for the special eye drops because of the Little Mister’s tender age. So we headed to the doctor’s clinic. Who couldn’t fit us in until later that afternoon. Keep in mind how many times that involves putting him in a car seat and taking him out (right on nap time), plus holding him in my arms when he’s heavy and wriggling. Brought him home for a nap, which went pretty well except for the fact that he was woken by my dog barking at something. We got to the doctor’s on time (after a rushed lunch), only to have to wait 40 minutes in the waiting room. SO WRIGGLY AND GRUMPY FROM A SORE EYE. Back to the pharmacy. Then home. Still no stroller because I’m an idiot.

Despite all that, I finished the day stoked with my efforts. We’d solved the problem (or at least got treatment) and despite being physically exhausted I didn’t feel like melting down or snapping at anyone. I didn’t palm him off onto my husband (who worked late to help us enjoy date night later this week) and I didn’t even want to! I even feel like telling tomorrow to BRING. IT. ON.

There’s no better feeling than the feeling of being mentally strong and knowing you’ve worked hard.

2. Sunshine and the ocean. I could never live anywhere away from the ocean and a sunny climate. When I feel lost or drained, just the sight and the smell of the ocean recharge me. I need to remember this a bit more often.

3. Sleep ins. Duh.

4. Watching the Little Mister grow. His personality cracks me up. There is no joy like watching him as he learns something new. Each day (OK so maybe only 99% of days) is honestly a celebration of SOMETHING.

5. The anticipation before a date night. Date nights are almost unheard of for my husband and I these days. We have had date days and snuggles on the couch with a nice home cooked dinner after the Little Mister has gone to bed, but it’s hard to commit to date nights. This week we’re going to watch Ahn Do’s show – The Happiest Refugee. I couldn’t be more excited. Thanks to my awesome parents, we get a whole day and night to ourselves (and only ourselves) for maybe the first time ever in 18 months. We need to somehow do this more often. I just hope the Little Mister behaves!!

6. My DVR. Seriously. You don’t even understand. It has changed parenthood. If you are able to, before you bring your first baby home, GET A DVR. When you’re up at all crazy hours, you’ll always have something awesome to watch that you chose to record. No weird home shopping network crap in the middle of the night. No missing out on your favourite shows (the ones that start at 9:30pm) because you passed out from exhaustion constantly. I can watch whatever I want whenever I want. I can save all the shows inappropriate for children and watch them by myself at night time. I can pause the TV if the Little Mister wakes up in the night and not miss any of my show/s just because he’s having a tough night. It is seriously one of the best gifts my husband has ever bought for me. I might be MONTHS behind with my favourite shows, but going at my own pace is fine :)

7. The Little Mister’s cuddles. Nothing makes you feel more important or loved. Especially when his face lights up and he takes a giant run up, like he hasn’t seen you in years. Even though all you did was spend 5 minutes in the kitchen. Ask my husband. The cuddles he gets when he walks in the front door after work are just priceless.

8. Music. My life has to have a soundtrack. I need to sing along badly to something. Music makes the Little Mister so happy. There just has to be music in my life. Music in my car. Live music (I remembered this last weekend).

9. Avocados. Seriously.

10. The supportive people who read my blog regularly. You are all amazing and make me feel like all this is 10 times more fun when there’s someone to share it with. In all honesty, I’d probably blab on about my crazy thoughts regardless, because a part of me just has to, but it is so nice to know that people care. I love my blog readers and I love my blogging friends. Thank you :)

Of course, I have so many more amazing things in my life, but I think 10 is enough for now :)

This post was a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. 



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An apology.

Today we have a guest post…let’s just say my dogs have some ‘splainin’ to do. 

Dear Mum (aka Kez Unprepared) and Dad (Mr Unprepared),

We are very sorry for the latest incident which occurred overnight at our shared residence. As your first babies, we should have known better. We let ourselves get carried away and we deeply regret our actions.

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We knew we’d made a bit of a mistake when Mum and that little human you guys keep inside, found us snuggled up at the crime scene this morning. It just felt so bushy and warm. We hope you understand that direct eye contact is a little difficult at this time. We are trying to come to terms with what we have done. We were cold and we can’t help it if our instincts told us to make a nest. Sure, we have a big, spacious kennel out back but in all fairness we destroyed our bed too so we needed alternative accommodation. It’s not ALL our fault, you see. I think it would be only right for you to take some accountability here too. It does take four to tango. Not that we know what a tango is. But it sounds like something people do when they admit their dogs aren’t completely to blame for something that may or may not have allegedly happened. Our lawyer told us to say that.

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Our lawyer may or may not be a bug we weren’t fast enough to chomp on.

We know that things don’t look too good for us right now. We realise this isn’t our first offence.

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We just hope that you have a heart and that you will forgive us. And please don’t think that this was Blitz’s twisted revenge plot because you didn’t take her to the beach the other day. It totally wasn’t. We know Dad could only take one dog (Heidi) and that tiny human at one time. Something about us getting crazy at the beach? Ever since you got that tiny human, we’ve been feeling a little bit like we’ve been relegated to a life that is filled with a little less attention than usual. Look, we’re not going to throw around words like “neglect” or “RSPCA” but…let’s just say that you might want to reassess. The day is getting closer to the time when dogs learn how to use smart phones and you might want to think about what we might be capable of. That’s not a threat or anything. We’re just sayin’…no need to start getting all worried about “extortion” or “blackmail”…

Much.

Please accept our sincerest apology, because Heidi is a poor orphan dog who was found suffering in the wild (rough childhood) and Blitz is part Labrador. Well, we all know what they’re like. We can’t help it.

We would offer to pay for the damages, but we’re dogs. Dogs don’t have money. Suck it. I mean, sorry.

Kind regards,

Blitz and Heidi. YOUR FIRST PRECIOUS FUR BABIES WHO LOVED AND KNEW YOU LONG BEFORE THAT TINY HUMAN EVER CARED.

PS. The bug lawyer will be sending his bill to you shortly. Because again, dogs don’t have money. Duh.

PPS. LOVE YOU. ALWAYS.

PPS. *LICK LICK LICK* *WAG WAG WAG* (we don’t know how to not love you).

This post was part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.