Things I could do instead of being on hold.

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Today I had to make some phone calls that I was dreading. Not just because I sometimes get tongue tied on the phone with strangers (didn’t happen today – a miracle!), but because I hate being put on hold. HATE IT. I mean, does anyone actually like it?? That music (or more accurately muzak). Those patronising messages every 5 minutes about how the service provider is thankful that I am waiting and that they appreciate my call and that I am in a long queue – thanks for being patient (when I have no choice). Yuck yuck yuck.

I got off lightly because in total, I was only on hold for 40 minutes. I had predicted that I would be waiting that long (or longer) for only one call to be answered. Still, it got me thinking about all of the things I could do instead of being on hold and, for those collective 40 minutes, I realised that I had taken for granted all of the other 40 minute blocks of time I’ve had in my life where I wasn’t on hold and what I could do with that time to make my life more enjoyable! I’m only half joking.

I thought about doing these things at the same time as being on hold, but that muzak made me feel stabby and I couldn’t think straight with it on in the background or hear anything else haha.

15 minutes

• Program my DVR for the entire week – because that stuff takes time (priorities!)
• Listen to around 5 pop songs (at about 3 minutes in length each)
• Drive from my house into the centre of my home town to do more enjoyable stuff
• Put on a pore strip and then remove it and stare at it for about 5 minutes (because that’s the fun part)
• Write this little list of things I could do in 15 minutes while on hold (taking lengthy pauses to think in between ideas)

30 minutes

• Give myself a decent manicure using normal nail polish – taking time to let two coats dry
• Watch an episode of Home and Away from the night before (including the ads)
• Do a Couch to 5 K work out on the treadmill
• Walk to the beach from my house at a leisurely pace (because being at the beach is heaps better than being on hold)
• Read a chapter of Amy Schumer’s book

40 minutes

• Watch an episode of anything involving the Kardashians (without ads)
• Have a nap – you can fit a whole sleep cycle into 40 minutes and actually wake up feeling better!
• Complete an entire week’s online grocery shop
• Write an entire blog post
• Clean half my house

Bonus list – gun to my head – what I would pick over being on hold for 40 minutes:

• Watching 8 episodes of Peppa Pig
• Ironing around 13 work shirts for my husband (keep in mind that I don’t iron if I can get away with it and I don’t iron his stuff especially haha)
• Asking my child to find his shoes because we’re going out (hahaha – I swear it probably takes that long for us to argue about it and for him to find them)
• Waiting in line anywhere. OK, so that almost comes in at a tie but at least I can people watch and entertain my inner judgy bitch
• Writing up the monthly family budget and paying all the bills – YUCK. BUT STILL LESS YUCK THAN BEING ON HOLD.

What’s the longest you’ve ever been on hold for? I bet there’s some great Centrelink personal bests out there!