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I wrote this in January 2012 (yes…2 whole years ago). I promptly forgot to publish it. Was probably the baby brain. Enjoy…
It’s started. I heard this could happen, but I tried not to think about it. I just swished my beautiful voluminous, swishy hair over my shoulder and said to myself, “Pfft. As if! Not me!”
What am I talking about? I’m talking about the fact that while my Little Mister’s hair seems to be growing longer and thicker (and higher) every day, my own hair is falling out in handfuls. And that doesn’t count the hair that literally falls out of my head in baby handfuls (apparently my hair is a wonderful rope for babies to hold onto). Look, I’ll admit it. In the past (BC: Before Child) I was known to occasionally block a shower drain with my moulting tresses. Just ask my husband. However, now I am losing my precious strands all day every day! I don’t think I would ordinarily notice so much, but when you have a baby within a couple of inches from your face all the time, it’s pretty obvious. I find myself picking my hairs off his nappies, out of his tiny hands (oh and for those who don’t know, trivial fact – babies get hand lint like bellybutton lint but in their hands), off his face and any clothing or wraps I use for him.
I am afraid that one day I will lose him and won’t think to check the pile of hair in his cot. That will be the scariest day of my life.
This hair loss has something to do with pregnancy hormones leaving my body. Or something. Either way, it’s hormonal. But only I’m allowed to blame anything on hormones. Men should never blame things on a woman’s hormones, just a heads up. It won’t end well.
Today at my New Parents Group (A PC way of saying Mothers Group), we were given a big double sided sheet of “pleasurable” activities we should partake in so that we get in some of that precious “me time” everyone keeps talking about. I haven’t read it properly, but besides reading erotica or playing golf (no joke) I am sure it says something about getting a hair cut/style done. I don’t think I’ll have any hair left to work with so perhaps I should buy me some Mills and Boon while having a putt. We’re supposed to complete something on that list before next week’s Mothers Group as homework (although no-one’s going to check – let’s be honest). I think I’ll just stare at a blank wall and see what fatigue induced hallucinations I can conjure up. Surely, staring at a blank wall is on the list.