It’s been a while.
I started this blog in 2011. During the golden days of blogging. I’d dabbled for a while, but this was the one that stuck. I wanted to document my journey into motherhood when I was pregnant with my son (who is about to graduate from primary school – WTAF) and my website grew into a wonderful place to share my thoughts, feelings and laughs with a pretty awesome blogging community. You don’t understand (or maybe you do because you’re here reading this): I was privileged enough to know a lot of my favourite bloggers before they became famous on social media. Or were able to make a living off their online presence. I had some opportunities myself but I lacked a lot of confidence at the time. I have no regrets, though. Writing for fun and for a supportive audience was pretty special. I made real life friends and over time I was able to make a little pocket money doing freelance writing – something kid me had dreamed of. Being able to call myself a writer. I never made it to blogging conferences or workshops (it was quite the industry!), but trust me, I was always studying my craft (and probably breaking a whole bunch of ‘rules’)!
Early on, we Aussies mixed with a lot of American bloggers because there were so few of us. We just banded together into one big group of international humans who loved writing and sharing our lives. So yes, basically I am old!
After I had my daughter in 2018, I lost the urge to write. That little no rules demon was keeping me on my toes! I was exhausted! She’s only just started sleeping through the night (mostly), by the way. Even though blogging was giving way to social media, I never thought I’d be the one to let my writing slide. I used to be sad when my favourite bloggers faded off once they had kids and I thought I couldn’t relate, because writing while I began to raise my first kid was what kept me sane! Don’t worry, I get it now.
I enjoyed Instagram (something I’d actually started in order to promote my blog originally). During the pandemic I hung about on Tiktok (which I’m bad at except that one random time I went viral), scrolling through short videos and admiring other peoples’ creativity. My attention span could handle short bursts of everything.
A few weeks ago I suddenly felt the urge to reignite my love of blogging. I needed a fresh start so I started to archive my old blog posts and figure out how to make my website (that I’ve been paying for all of this time 🙈) something that reflects me today. I read through almost everything I’d ever posted here. I cringed and I laughed and I was grateful to have recorded precious memories and important moments.
I learned how much I have really grown in the past 12 years! I could tell when I’d been sad and stressed, but I was putting on a brave face. I felt awful when I read about my attempts to live healthier and I could see that I was body shaming myself, putting emphasis on how much I weighed and thinking that substituting everything delicious with things made out of cauliflower was AMAZING. That poor poor younger me. I could see the moments when I had censored myself, because of some people who did not approve of me. I’m delighted to announce that I now approve of myself enough to know that I simply do not care for the opinions of those who stir up drama with others because they are deeply unhappy in their own lives (mostly – sometimes I wobble but I’m doing much much better – shout out to my psychologist lol).
I worried a LOT about what people thought of me as a parent the first time around. I am pretty sure in hindsight that I had undiagnosed post natal anxiety (and I was surrounded by some a-holes). All of these things were my real experiences (even reading between the lines) and represented my attempts to connect with others and make sense of my world/body/self as my life changed.
I was excited just to want to write again – even if blogging isn’t ‘cool’ anymore. Even if nobody ever reads my stuff. But I learned that something weird and wonderful has been in the air and Carly from Very Excellent Habits has been feeling the same about bringing blogging back! When she posted on her Instagram account about this, I saw some familiar faces join a chorus of YES LET’S DO IT all over the comments section and this has brought me so much joy.
I am excited to show up again as the me who lives in 2023 (and beyond I hope haha). I probably have a lot to share (I dunno – I kind of tend to wing it)!