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Wow, my homies. It’s December. Mid December. We made it through a year that simultaneously somehow crawled and sped by at the same time. It’s been a huge one for me. Lots of growth, change and throughout the hard times, some pleasant surprises along the way. It’s felt like a year that has both stifled me (or was it me that stifled myself) in some ways but also a year that has seen me expand. Take up more space, give myself permission to be everything I am less apologetically. That’s my 2022 – full of contradictions!
Anyway, it’s a time of year when everyone gets their festive vibe on and I am feeling so discombobulated! Late November brought with it a big life change (moving houses for the third time in under 2 years will do that for you) and the winter somehow lasted through a lot of spring. So now here I am feeling like we should be granted an extra two weeks at least, in order to feel the summer excitement that usually comes with Christmas time!
But also, I really need Christmas to hurry up because I am excited for time off work and for the kids to enjoy their gifts haha.
See what I mean? I’m all over the shop!
I have thought about it and I blame the weather for my strange mood. It’s just not been warm and sunny enough. It doesn’t feel right! I’m not in holidays mode yet!
Luckily I have my Christmas movies to make me feel somewhat festive. I figure as long as I’m watching them, I’m on the right track! I have a tradition every year of watching as many as I can in December and then reporting back on Instagram stories so that my friends can decide what to watch too! It’s surprisingly popular and starts a lot of conversations!
I’m conflicted. I want to be out doing ALL of the Christmas events. Catching up with friends and feeling that lovely glow that comes from seeing the sun set, being with people out in the community and maybe a few cocktails haha.
BUT… I also am tired. I want to be home, nesting. Catching up on rest. My social batteries are OK but they’re not quite firing right.
I am trying hard to stay level headed. Trying to push the FOMO aside and remember the stuff I HAVE done and not focus on the things I’m NOT doing.
We went to the Christmas pageant in town, the kids have their advent calendars (but we keep forgetting about them – oops), the Christmas tree looks lovely, we have our house looking festive at night with our awesome light projector. Santa almost has all of the gifts ready for the kids. I’ve watched a bunch of Christmas movies. Miss 4 baked Christmas cupcakes with me. I’ve been into the city and I’ve seen the beautiful lights (and went to a non Christmas related concert but it was pretty cool and involved seeing a good friend).
On the 11th of December, I think I should probably remember to calm the fuck down and realise that whatever I have done is enough and that there’s so much more fun to come. The kids haven’t even finished school yet! It’s gonna be fine! My festive cheer might find its oomph again really soon! Don’t lose hope!
I guess I want to know – does anyone else feel the same as me? Completely overwhelmed and tired, but also like you’re not doing enough? Really excited about the festive season, but also not quite feeling it in the depths of your soul yet?