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Yep. That is totally what I look like while I am recovering from my laparoscopic/hysteroscopic surgery. It’s hard being this glam.
Private home library? Yeah. NETFLIX library. And ancient episodes of TV shows that have been stored on my DVR for *cough cough* years and never watched. Ha.
But the LBD and the perfect legs is totally true to my life.
Anyway, enough of that. Time for another happy list! It might take me a long time to get this out of my brain and if there are parts that don’t make sense, please forgive me. I’m a bit easily exhausted and proof reading may not be my best skill right now.
So these are the things that have made me happy…
When the universe gives you a sign that everything will be OK
I was really fucking nervous about this surgery. I had never had general anaesthetic before (my inner control freak had something to say about that) and there was also a lot riding on this procedure. If something went wrong, it would possibly be the difference between me ever carrying another child again or not. Yeah. No pressure.
But I got to the hospital and the universe gave me the most obvious, strangely comforting and quite frankly, bizarre sign that all would go OK. I am sorry I can’t share exactly what that was because it involves someone else’s story that is not mine to tell, but this encounter was one of those ‘meant to be’, ‘this is fate’ moments.
I have all of my lady parts intact
When I came to, a nurse told me I was in recovery and I started to try to fight the drowsiness because I felt like I needed to find out what happened (this was a struggle obviously haha). I overheard the nurse tell another nurse that I had my tubes and everything else. I fell back asleep immediately, feeling more peaceful. I knew that much. I could rest. If I’d had the presence of mind/body, I would have probably cried from the relief.
I later found out that everything went well and I kept all of my reproductive bits. I cannot tell you how great that is to know!
I didn’t spew after my op
I was so ready to be a spew machine after having a general anaesthetic. Everyone I know gets super sick afterwards. Even my never-woozy husband. I am the kind of person who gets faint and dizzy at the mere suggestion that something might not quite be perfectly balanced in my body, so I felt all along that being sick would be a given. I was dreading the car ride home.
Turns out the anti nausea medication they pump into you during these procedures must have worked on me. YES. I kept waiting for my ‘oh shit I’m gonna spew’ moment and it never came! Thank goodness! I made it all the way home. I am a champ!
It’s a small win. I’m taking it. Any time I’m pleasantly surprised by this stuff, it helps my mental state, I feel!
Finally having drugs for my cold
Leading up to my surgery date, I had a horrendous, lingering cold. I was stressing out a lot. I thought that it might mean I would not be cleared to have surgery. Every day that it didn’t disappear, I felt more and more pressure. The clincher was that I couldn’t take any good analgesics for it, to help clear things up (I was instructed not to for at least a week before surgery). I felt very helpless!
In the end, I was starting to feel like having the surgery rescheduled might be a good idea (despite how badly I wanted to get it over with) just so I could start popping pills to fix me!
I turned up to be admitted for surgery (as instructed) and it all depended on whether the anaesthetist would clear me. It turned out that because the infection hadn’t turned into a chesty problem I was OK to go in/under. I was in shock because I had convinced myself it wouldn’t go ahead that day. I was relieved, though. I didn’t think I could go through that anticipation and anxiety too many more times without having a mental breakdown haha.
Coming out from under the anaesthetic, my cold symptoms were masked by the wonderful drugs they had me on for the surgery. I cannot tell you how glad I am that the cold didn’t slow my progress on this journey. I was so ready. A delay would have been hugely disappointing.
Forgetting where my belly button is and cracking up with Mr Unprepared about it even though it hurt
Mr Unprepared has had to help me with shower time because I can’t dry my legs without being in pain yet and he was also a big help in drying my dressings afterwards and helping me to replace some of them. The morning after was the first time I got a real look at myself (I dare you to google image search ‘laparoscopic surgery’). I counted 6 incisions. And maybe I was still a bit ‘off’ from the drugs in my system but I thought my belly looked strange and couldn’t quite figure out why. Mr Unprepared pointed at the dressing that was over my belly button (they use it as an entry point for surgery – fun and really weird fact). OH, that’s where that was. I had momentarily forgotten I had a belly button and where it belonged. Out of sight, out of mind perhaps?Then we laughed and laughed and I cried because it hurt to laugh. Which made us laugh more. Sometimes those ridiculous moments are everything. Sometimes you just need to know that you still have a sense of humour.
Other stuff that has made me happy…
- A truly thoughtful gift from my parents post-surgery.
- Splurging on Apple TV to aid in my recovery (priorities – hello).
- Being pleasantly surprised by caring messages from friends on my surgery date. I honestly did not expect to hear from them, but it was touching and I thank everyone for wishing me well.
- Mr Unprepared’s support and assistance.
- Snapchat (username: kezunprepared hint hint haha). Gosh it’s so good when your brain power/attention span is limited (not sure what that’s saying) but you’re bored haha. Thanks for the entertainment, peeps! I’m talking to you too, Kardashians ?
- The support I have received when sharing my journey through secondary infertility. There are certain things that are to be kept private, but there are also moments I think that are worth sharing and smashing taboos with. Thanks for being there and helping me do that.
- Seeing my grandparents over the weekend. So nice to catch up.
- Seeing a future that means a possible better quality of life.
What has made you happy this week? x