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I swear the number 1 question women get asked when we announce that we’re expecting is, “Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”
I think that if I was to properly poll my parent friends to find out who found out ahead of their birth vs who chose to wait, it would probably be a 50/50 result.
It’s a personal decision and I think people choose one way or the other for a big variety of reasons. I can see advantages and disadvantages to both choices.
I decided to share my reasons to find out at our 19 week anatomy scan…
I wanted to be the first to know
I do not have the best track record with uneventful pregnancy or birth. While this time I am likely to have a scheduled C-section (and not ashamed one bit by the way), anything could happen! If for some reason I was rendered unconscious or had to be put under or some other kind of thing hindered my ability to witness my own birth experience (yes – a C-section is still a birth experience), I would not want to be the last to know. A friend once shared a story with me about this happening to her and it stuck with me. I am sure there are women out there who wouldn’t mind not knowing first, but for me that’s kind of important.
I figure it’s a surprise either way…
It always kind of amuses me when people say, “are you going to find out or are you going to wait for a surprise?”
Because in my mind, it’s a surprise whether you find out earlier or later! It’s also not like you can change it either – your child will have the body parts that they are destined to have!
I just like to know sooner rather than later, because quite frankly knowing that I can find out makes me impatient! I’m not good with not knowing stuff!
It makes shopping for baby clothes/nursery decor much more fun
While I am not a “please explode all the pink all over me” kind of person (in case you missed it we found out we’re expecting a girl this time) and I am quite a fan of unisex baby/children’s fashion (there is some frickin’ rad stuff out there these days), I do admit a part of me does buy into some stereotypes. I guess that’s OK because I am both a girly girl and a gender stereotype breaker all at once, myself. It’s OK to embrace both sides, I reckon!
Before I find out the possible gender, I kind of float aimlessly. Afterwards, I know that it’s half way through my pregnancy, I need to get my arse moving and I can mentally prepare. So I guess I find it to be a good motivation for the procrastinator in me too haha.
To prepare the Little Mister (5) who expressed a gender preference
The Little Mister was constantly reminding us about the order he put in for a baby sister. Before we found out, we were well aware that he still needed to grasp the concept that none of us would get to decide on this. That was up to a combination of Mr Unprepared’s genes and the clever lab person who picked out which fairly random embryo (out of a selection of 11) to implant in me.
I wanted to find out the sex ahead of time in case we did indeed have a little boy on the way. I knew there was a chance that the Little Mister might initially experience some disappointment. I wanted to give him time to realise that a brother could be just as awesome as a sister. I wanted to give him time to adjust his expectations and talk through his feelings on the matter.
Not to mention the nagging we experienced about whether it would be a boy or girl and when the hell would we find out, please?
For me, there was only one reason not to bother finding out and that was the fact that there is a difference between sex (the bits we’re born with) and gender. Having a baby with female parts does not guarantee gender identity. No amount of gender stereotypes means that we will have a child who shares the interests/preferences we hope they will have/not have. I can see the appeal in not buying into the blue vs pink thing. I know I’d have my child’s back, whoever they turned out to be, even if for now we assume them to be a ‘her’.
But, my reasons to find out overwhelmed my reason not to and here we are! I know I already love this little girl so much and will support her no matter what. For now I get to think about dressing her in embarrassing outfits and decorating her room however I want while I can get away with it haha. It was no different for her older brother! 😜
Tell me, do you like to find out the sex earlier or at birth? What are your reasons?