Today I had to make some phone calls that I was dreading. Not just because I sometimes get tongue tied on the phone with strangers (didn’t happen today – a miracle!), but because I hate being put on hold. HATE IT. I mean, does anyone actually like it?? That music (or more accurately muzak). Those patronising messages every 5 minutes about how the service provider is thankful that I am waiting and that they appreciate my call and that I am in a long queue – thanks for being patient (when I have no choice). Yuck yuck yuck.
I got off lightly because in total, I was only on hold for 40 minutes. I had predicted that I would be waiting that long (or longer) for only one call to be answered. Still, it got me thinking about all of the things I could do instead of being on hold and, for those collective 40 minutes, I realised that I had taken for granted all of the other 40 minute blocks of time I’ve had in my life where I wasn’t on hold and what I could do with that time to make my life more enjoyable! I’m only half joking.
I thought about doing these things at the same time as being on hold, but that muzak made me feel stabby and I couldn’t think straight with it on in the background or hear anything else haha.
15 minutes
- Program my DVR for the entire week – because that stuff takes time (priorities!)
- Listen to around 5 pop songs (at about 3 minutes in length each)
- Drive from my house into the centre of my home town to do more enjoyable stuff
- Put on a pore strip and then remove it and stare at it for about 5 minutes (because that’s the fun part)
- Write this little list of things I could do in 15 minutes while on hold (taking lengthy pauses to think in between ideas)
30 minutes
- Give myself a decent manicure using normal nail polish – taking time to let two coats dry
- Watch an episode of Home and Away from the night before (including the ads)
- Do a Couch to 5 K work out on the treadmill
- Walk to the beach from my house at a leisurely pace (because being at the beach is heaps better than being on hold)
- Read a chapter of Amy Schumer’s book
40 minutes
- Watch an episode of anything involving the Kardashians (without ads)
- Have a nap – you can fit a whole sleep cycle into 40 minutes and actually wake up feeling better!
- Complete an entire week’s online grocery shop
- Write an entire blog post
- Clean half my house
Bonus list – gun to my head – what I would pick over being on hold for 40 minutes:
- Watching 8 episodes of Peppa Pig
- Ironing around 13 work shirts for my husband (keep in mind that I don’t iron if I can get away with it and I don’t iron his stuff especially haha)
- Asking my child to find his shoes because we’re going out (hahaha – I swear it probably takes that long for us to argue about it and for him to find them)
- Waiting in line anywhere. OK, so that almost comes in at a tie but at least I can people watch and entertain my inner judgy bitch
- Writing up the monthly family budget and paying all the bills – YUCK. BUT STILL LESS YUCK THAN BEING ON HOLD.
What’s the longest you’ve ever been on hold for? I bet there’s some great Centrelink personal bests out there!
