just some thoughts pregnancy Uncategorized updates

So close, yet so far! Late pregnancy musings.

This post was originally drafted on Thursday the 3rd November, 2011. It was scheduled to be published at a later date, so as to maintain privacy for my family and I around the time of birth (which came 3 days later to my surprise!). It documents the lead up to labour and my feelings and experiences (with a bit of sparkly vampire pop culture thrown in). It’s kind of funny reading it back. Labour and aftermath to be blogged soon x

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If you know me well, it would be common knowledge that I really can’t stand sparkly vampire type movies or television shows about blood sucking non-people people. I just can’t get on board with that stuff. Each to their own, but I am much more a fan of zombies: brain eating non-people people. Yes, there is a distinctive difference.

Anyhow, each time a new Twilight movie is on the horizon one of my dear friends will invite “the girls” around to catch up on the previous movies before heading to the cinema for a night out to enjoy the latest one. I usually “um” and “aah” about whether to get over myself and just go – for the awesome company of course – or to refuse the invitation on principle. The last few times I’ve been busy anyhow so it hasn’t been an issue.

This time, upon viewing the Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer, I am decidedly against attending the movie.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hrCkkilRDM]

I think it might be quotes about the pregnant character Bella.

You know, things like “The foetus is not compatible with your body. It’s too strong and fast growing.”

And…”It’s crushing you from the inside out…”

I have since concluded that I must be pregnant with some kind of vampire/werewolf thingy (I don’t actually know what’s going on there other than what I see on gossip/entertainment websites).

My body is reacting a lot to having a whole new crazy bunch of baby boy hormones inside it. Gestational diabetes, two types of rashes (the second one is worse because my trusty treatment from last time is no longer working effectively – trust me), blood tests on my uric acids (kidney function) and bile salts (enough to make me feel like I’ve been attacked by very hungry vampires – my arms look like that of a junkie). The list just feels like it keeps growing and growing! It’s like my body has decided it’s had enough of being pregnant, but the message hasn’t quite transmitted to our Little Mister who seems kind of comfy (maybe too comfy) inside me!

I’ve been in and out of hospital for a week now, with no signs of the constant appointments and monitoring ceasing anytime soon. It’s been very tiring and stressful. The baby is fine but like the crazy foetus in the Twilight trailer, he seems quite strong and he is quite fast growing!! I bawled my eyes out after my 36 week ultrasound because I was told his estimated weight was that of a fully cooked baby already. I may or may not have disturbed the waitstaff at the cafe my husband took me out for lunch at afterwards. It’s all been a little overwhelming. OK, so a lot!!

Tomorrow marks the end of the 37th week of pregnancy and the beginning of the 38th. I am hoping and praying that someone will induce me – SOON. I’ve been told (after a confronting internal examination in which I was a teensy bit traumatised) that my body is preparing in all the right ways for labour but none of it means it will naturally begin for me any time soon. It could be days or weeks.

INDUCE ME!!!!! Right now I feel that I could probably give birth to our baby naturally while he is of an OK size, but in a couple of weeks? Hell no. Because of all my itching and discomfort, I admit to being afraid to have a C-section. Not so much because of the whole being-cut-open thing, but the worry about recovery and healing afterwards. I’m much better with pain than I am with itching, which might seem strange but I seriously can’t handle the itches. I go kind of nuts. The idea of a possibly itchy scar has me wanting to join my bubba in the foetal position!!

On the bright side, being in hospital so much lately has made me less afraid of going into labour. The familiarity I am gaining with the maternity ward and the different midwives on shift each time I visit helps a lot. I recommend to other pregnant lovelies out there that you take a tour of your maternity ward before birth and ask lots of questions if possible. It really does ease your mind knowing where to go and what your room might look like. Even how the staff interact with you. I don’t recommend finding out the hard way like I have been, but sometimes sh*t happens!

I’ve kept this stuff fairly quiet with friends because they are already so excited for me and I am receiving text messages and facebook wall posts quite regularly now, asking when the hell I’m going to have the baby! I’ve stayed vague, not because they’re people I can’t confide in, but because my latest experiences are very raw and can change any moment. I plan on telling all after the birth. I have no doubt my friends would be so loving and caring if they knew everything, but right now I just want to be quiet and private so as to stay calm and focused. I know they won’t hold it against me. Sometimes I just need some time and space to process things for myself before sharing with the world.

I’ve been quite emotional and run down lately. I can joke about this stuff in blog form, but it can be really challenging. The Husband Guy has been so supportive and helpful and my parents (and inlaws) have been great. I know most women get to that “so over it” phase during late pregnancy, but I think that for me there is much more to it than that. I’ve had one helluva ride over the last few months and I’m ready for the next exciting chapter of my life. The part where the pregnancy conditions (hopefully) ease or disappear and I have a beautiful baby boy in my arms.

At times I’ve felt like I’m just crap at being pregnant (when I started this blog I had no idea just where the journey would take me), but I have to remind myself that I’m not. I am lucky. I have a healthy baby inside me that my partner and I were able to conceive in the first place. My own body may be shot to hell, but I’m successfully carrying this precious cargo safely to term and I could not be luckier.

I guess I just never planned on being one of those “problem pregnancy” bloggers. I feel like I’ve mentioned the words “rash” and “diabetes” almost every single post and I have never wanted to be pigeonholed as a poster girl for any of these issues. I have just tried to document my experiences honestly. Maybe all this sh*t has happened for a reason. Maybe I can bring comfort to someone else going through similar experiences.

I hope that the next news I have to share will be the announcement of the birth!

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