Quarantined.

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This is Kez. Reporting to you from the danger zone. What is the danger zone? The danger zone is that place you exist in where you’ve just recovered from a nasty bout of gastro (probably triggered from some dodgy food which you have sworn off forever and ever and ever and ever), your husband has just come down with the same thing and your toddler is the last (little) man standing.

Yes. That’s right. The DANGER ZONE.

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This is the first time an outbreak has spread throughout our household since the Little Mister was born (or even really since I can remember living with Mr Unprepared). I feel…*pathetic drum roll* AWESOMELY UNPREPARED.

And I am cleaning ALL THE THINGS.

While surviving on Hydralyte and willpower.

All I know is that I would never wish the last few nights on the Little Mister and I am determined that we somehow perform a minor miracle and save him the pain. Am I in denial? Probably. I won’t rest for the next couple of days waiting to see if we have left the danger zone with toddler intact!

So it was me. I ate something gross for lunch on Friday (celebrating the end of a long week) and I put us in the danger zone later that evening (and into the early hours – worst night ever). It was classic Kez not listening to her intuition. A little voice said, “Should you eat this? Something doesn’t feel right.”

But then a bigger voice went, “NOM NOM NOM EAT IT ALL”.

In the words of my sympathetic friend (who is safely living in another state and can in no way blame any contagious illnesses on me ever), “I hate the big voice.”

I spent all weekend on the couch (or in bed) watching teen movies (from when I was a teen) and episodes of Sex and the City back to back, while losing weight without doing any organised exercise. Toddler and husband free. Sounds heavenly? Yeah, not so much. Quarantine sucks. And the guilts every time the Little Mister was kept away from me? Awwwwwww 🙁

Because I was so well quarantined, I felt that the Little Mister would be safe. Now I’m not so sure. Mr Unprepared is now the dude on the couch who the Little Mister waves hello to from a distance (and disturbingly refers to him as “gone” when he’s just sleeping haha). I’m feeling nervous, everybody.

Positive thinking. All the positive thinking. And Dettol.

Also, to all those who know us in our every day lives and socialise with us, I promise 100% we won’t turn up anywhere until we are well and truly clear of the danger zone – hope to be back in the real world soon! 

NOW GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR SURVIVAL ADVICE!!!! xx