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I woke up when the Little Mister ran into our room exclaiming, “IT’S THE MORNING! WAKE UP! IT’S THE MORNING!”
Sigh. Sure was.
It was also the morning I had planned to go for a run. I’ll be honest, I really wasn’t feeling it. Even though it wasn’t the most efficient idea (seeing as I was going to be all sweaty soon and would need a shower after too), I decided to have a shower to wake myself up. While I was in there, procrastishowering, I tried to think of a strategy to get the full 5km. I decided that I wouldn’t just run to the beach. I would run past it until I reached the 2.5km mark and then turn around.
I put on my shoes and socks. I prayed they were the socks that wouldn’t slip down my heels while I ran (my sock collection is a MESS). I cut off my circulation with my new arm band (so I can carry my phone).
I loosened my new arm band. You know, because I didn’t want my arm to fall off while I was running. That would be soooooo annoying.
I got my Fitbit app started so it could track my run, then I collected my overly excited dog, and we set off. The first kilometre was SO AWESOME, you guys. I felt heaps fitter than I did the first time I went running (off the treadmill). In fact, the second kilometre was shaping up OK too. I was feeling pretty good. When I was tired (which was most of the time), I played a little game with myself. I decided I would run harder (or at all) whenever a car went past me. You know, so I could maintain some dignity…but also to motivate me to be a little more accountable haha.
The dog and I got closer to the beach and I felt pretty good about myself. Not far to go until my halfway mark. She dragged me up the hill (dogs are good for that)…and then she saw the ocean.
I was literally forced to go to the beach. I was not the PACK LEADER IN THIS SITUATION.
“NO! We need to go PAST the beach, Blitz!” I protested.
She was having none of that. So my run took a bit of a turn. Let’s just call it some extra ‘resistance training’ I threw in there. Totally on purpose of course. I mean, I’m just that good.
Yeah, ‘resistance’ being me trying like crazy to pull her away from the lure of the sand and waves…and failing.
OK, I thought. I can roll with the punches. I’ll just keep her on the lead and run along the beach for a bit. It will be good for my leg muscles.
Nope.
She wanted off that lead and into the ocean. There were no other dogs around at that moment so I let her off for a minute. I contemplated my future options. Train my dog better (oops) or change my route next time so it didn’t involve ocean views. Neither sounded easy. BLOODY BLITZ.
I got her back on the lead and we headed for home.
I’d stupidly taken my phone out of my arm band while on the beach, so I tried to keep the dog in once place while trying to replace it. Then more dogs were coming. Then two really fit looking sexy people ran up behind me. Like, we’re talking ‘from a fitness magazine’ sexy.
So what did I do?
I quite literally ran away from them, with my iPhone in my hand and the dog trying to trip me. NO SEXY PEOPLE. DON’T CHASE ME!
I stopped when I realised that instead of following me on the footpath, the sexy people were running in the opposite direction up a GIANT HILL LIKE IT WAS EASY. BUT OF COURSE. I dismantled my arm band awkwardly and shoved the phone back up in there, before replacing it.
Hot tip. Life hack if you will. Huffing and puffing like you’re gonna die because you’ve never run this far before will keep the tiny flies from going in your mouth as you run home. It was really a lucky coincidence that I discovered this. Do it. It will change your life.
SO MANY TINY FLIES.
I didn’t quite make the whole 5km but I was pleased to get home and see that (apart from the detour to the beach – DAMN YOU BLITZ!) I had kept a similar pace to what I’d been achieving when training on the treadmill (I use the CT5K app). Yay!
I then did a crapload of gardening right after (in my activewear LOL), while Blitz tried to hump me. Again. Not the pack leader. Sigh.
2 Comments
Ness Oldfield
OMG I was literally dying with laughter as I read this. I thought that procrastishowering was hilarious and then I got to the ‘sexy people’.
You’re awesome!
Have mad respect for you Kez 🙂
KezUnprepared
Aw glad you got a laugh out of it, Ness! xoxo