It’s Wednesday. Hump day. I’ve decided that while conquering Monday-itis with great inspirational posts (well they inspire me because I wrote them for me at least haha), it’s hump day that really requires a self inflicted kick up the backside. By then I know if I’m in the right mindset or not. By Wednesday, I know if I’m being a Negative Nancy or a Positive Peggy. So I dub today’s (and any subsequent) posts Hump Day Hell Yeahs. Because all the other corny inspirational days are taken. Trust me. I googled that sh*t. There’s Motivational Monday, Midweek Motivation, every variation of TGI Friday (TFIF included).
So anyway, enough of my struggle with originality…
Lately I have been feeling a little bit bogged down in my blogging and I think it’s because my mind has been all over the place. I feel a bit tired of mentioning the loss of my grandfather, my trip interstate and my damn coccyx (although Twitter copped most of that issue). I feel like I’ve even come across as defensive of my parenting skills. And while I know that everything I’ve blogged has been a reflection on my real life and what has been happening for me, I feel like I’m stuck in that space. I keep willing funny, witty, light hearted things to flow out of my fingers and onto my shiny new laptop (Happy Birthday to me!), but it’s not really happening the way I’d hope.
I need to stop repeating myself and get out of a rut. Pay respect to what has been happening in my life, but keep stepping forwards. It’s kind of a theme for me these days. So let’s go:
Sometimes I give myself a hard time for the past day, week, month, year, decade. I get mad at myself for making certain choices or not believing in myself. Perhaps I can even compensate with extra bravado these days (making me seem a little brash and hard). However, I need to realise that it was not the same me who made those past decisions. I’m an improved version these days. More confident, wiser, more mature. In no way have I reached my optimum confidence, wisdom or maturity levels – LONG way to go with a whole life ahead of me – but I know I’ve come further in my journey. I need to look forwards and keep trying to be the best person I can be.
I lost a couple of Facebook followers this week (literally 2). Perhaps I’ve been boring, perhaps they didn’t like my views. Did they sense the rut I’ve been in? Or did it have nothing to do with me – they could have deleted their whole accounts or slimmed down completely on the Facebook pages they liked. Who knows? But I have to think, who cares? I don’t want followers who don’t like what I’m about and they are probably feeling good that I’m not in their newsfeeds anymore. How is that a problem? Not everyone is for everyone! I can be cool with that! I’ve had my two minutes (one for each lost follower) of insecure neurosis! I’m moving forwards 🙂
Haha. If you know me really well, you’ll laugh at this one. I am the queen of overthinking. Overexplaining. Over…everything. I think my blogging has suffered because I haven’t been believing in what I’ve been writing? I mean, I believe every word I’ve written to be true to me, but I’ve doubted my ability to be appealing to anyone else. I’ve overthought it. This blog started for me to express myself and share my stories. If I stay true to that, I should just bloody get on with it. I’ll have good weeks and not so good weeks. I hope someone out there is interested in my life as it unfolds.
Look, I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been feeling a little snarky and smart arsey lately. I know I’m not quite back to my positive self (my usual nature). I also know I’m not really even trying to be. Yeah. I know. I need to work harder. Put out more positive energy. What we put out is what we get back.
This has been the desktop picture on my (old) laptop for months. Every time I look at it, it boosts me. Reminds me to keep perspective. A lot of tough stuff has been going on around the world lately and my problems are really not much more than the first world variety (well, Boston is in the first world but you know what I mean). Might be real and tough for me, but I need to remember how much worse it could be and give thanks for what I have. I don’t want one ‘unfollow’ or a throwaway comment in real life, or a silly thing to not go smoothly, to wreck my whole outlook on life. My happiness. I deserve my happiness and there’s no need for me to be the a**hole who keeps taking it away from myself!!!
Happy Hump Day, everyone. Can I get a HELL YEAH???
What blessings in your life do you have today?
I feel better already xoxo