Falling off the wagon.

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So, remember that time when I was all like, “Look at me, guys! I’m getting all fit and losing weight and stuff!” ? I was exercising like a demon – daily! I was counting my calories and my husband was joining in. It was going great guns! Throw in the passing of my beloved grandfather, Easter, a trip interstate (where you’re eating socially a lot), an injury and a few other breaks to the usual routine…well, suddenly every day becomes ‘cheat day’!

Basically, I am confessing to the fact that I have fallen off the good eating + exercise bandwagon. Hard.

I still weigh just under 3kg less than I did when I started getting fit and healthy earlier this year, but I am slowly gaining weight back. I am not exercising regularly and I have become addicted to salty, starchy and fatty foods again. Don’t even get me started on the weirdest cake cravings I had for weeks on end (which I thankfully did not often indulge).

I still have at least 5 kg to lose. At least. I need to get back into action. While I am constantly on the go, with a very active 18 month old, this is not enough if I don’t eat right or exercise more mindfully.

I need to remember how good I felt when I was living healthier. It was awesome seeing the weight drop off bit by bit. While I wasn’t aiming for fast weight loss (in fact it was very slow), it was great to know that I was keeping on top of it and that my lifestyle did not have to change much. I was just making good choices. On the occasions (about once a week) that I had a cheat day I realised that I didn’t need so much in my stomach (it seemed to have shrunk back to its normal size) and if I ate something terrible, my metabolism didn’t care so much. I’d be back on track really fast. I felt like I was living the life of a skinny person. I could eat and not gain weight after seemingly every meal. My body had a new, healthy default setting to return to. As long as I did the right thing more than I did the less right thing, my body didn’t let me down! I felt happier from all the endorphins, I had more energy and I slept well at night (it killed my insomnia).

I need to get back there. My emotions have been all over the place. I have felt less confident in some of my clothes. I am scared of returning to my scary weight. I am also very acutely aware that if I should choose to have another child in the next few years, I would like to put myself in a position where my body has somewhere good to return to!!

So I am going to take baby steps back to where I was. In hindsight, I probably was going a bit hard with the exercise in particular (I was behaving like a contender for the Biggest Loser – ). A few life hiccups and I was spectacularly derailed. Perhaps I need to ease back in, rather than go so hard that I peak early. I’ll start with my nutrition and some low impact exercise and build myself back up to where I left off.

I can totally do this.

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How do you motivate yourself to exercise and eat right?

This post is a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.