2021: Week 1.

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I am an incurable optimist, it seems. Every year I set out to document my life in weekly updates, but I stop every time it doesn’t feel good anymore (usually due to what is going on for me at the time). Maybe I’m a slow learner, but I’ve decided to try again. In some ways, I regret not having more of a record of 2020 (the dumpster fire that it was) and while I feel a bit like 2021 will be more like 2020: Part 2, it is a time that will go down in history.

This is also honestly an opportunity for me to keep up with my writing. I miss it. I’ve been tired and I’ve let it slip.

Whatever this year brings, I am determined to try to make the best of it.

I have to tell you that this first week of 2021 was not easy for me, but I want to share with you what I can and appreciate the positives.

Here goes:

1 January – Friday

I was upset, to be honest. We hadn’t been able to fulfil our NYE plans with very dear friends the night before and I was really hurting and angry about it. It felt like every special occasion since November 2020 (starting with my son’s birthday) had been overshadowed by something negative. When you’re trying really hard and it just doesn’t work, it can be frustrating. I hated that our year started like that. I had to stay off social media most of the day.

Despite the rough start, I had a good conversation with my son (9). We talked about his 2020 and he told me what he wants to do in 2021. He said he wants to work on his physical strength (he’s not the sporty type – totally OK – and unfortunately the poor thing inherited my lack of coordination) and he wants to learn how to cook some meals (yay for life skills). It was a really lovely conversation and it reminds me of how much he’s growing up.

I decided that my word for 2021 will be ‘healthy’. In every sense of the word. Mentally, physically, spiritually. That word will be my anchor and will guide my decisions.

2 January – Saturday

I ran away from home this morning. My husband was having my brother-in-law over for some bonding time with our son, playing a new board game he’d got for Christmas, and I took the opportunity to go out alone (the Little Miss would be fine annoying the crap out of them haha)!

I just needed some breathing space.

I went and made my nerd mum purchase: a Bissell Spot Clean machine. It was on sale and it sounds funny but it was a lovely, positive experience! My friend was working there and her colleague loves my friend so much that she passed on further discounts to me just for being my friend’s friend. So that was nice! I couldn’t wait to un-trash our couch haha.

I went to the big shopping centre and it was nice to be alone. To park my car and just hop out with my handbag and start walking. It felt weird to not have a toddler to unstrap from her seat and then have to negotiate with her about why holding my hand in a carpark is good for keeping her alive.

My main mission (besides re-gaining some sanity) was to replace my sandals that the Little Miss (almost 3) had accidentally broken a few days earlier (she’d stepped on it funny while we were walking together), but I also enjoyed taking my time and browsing in as many stores as I wanted. Felt like such a luxury. Usually, I have her with me and have to carefully plan the most efficient use of my time at the shops before it all gets too much for the both of us.

I got the sandals, plus some make-up and a bra. Not bad!

3 January – Sunday

Had a big sleep in. It was much needed. We were physically and mentally exhausted. I still felt stressed out and easily upset. I was glad I needed to go out and get my nails done. I did not feel a single bit of guilt for the alone time I took that weekend. I needed what I needed and everyone was fine.

I chose bright orange for my nails. I always end up with bright orange when I’m going to be going away for a holiday! Weird.

The Christmas stuff was packed away. I have to cull some of the stuff we have! I kind of have an addiction to buying too many baubles (the cheap coloured types that fill out the tree). I will have to sort that before next Christmas! Usually I feel a bit sad to put everything away, but this time I was so ready. I just wanted the new year to kick in. I just wanted 2020 (and the way 2021 started) to be behind me.

We ordered fish and chips for dinner and we ate it outside, under our patio. We mucked around watching DJ Earworm mash up music videos (very addictive) on Youtube which was fun. I wished it was a Saturday so we could continue our silly little family dance party, but we had a night time routine to commence. We’ll have to do it again.

4 January – Monday

I woke up to the tail end of my husband saying the word “snoring” as he left the room. I guess I woke him – oops.

Today he went back to work. I really hoped that this would be the beginning of a better way to do things. In 2020 he had been getting used to a new job role and it had been really hard on us. It was hard with his crazy hours and work-a-holic tendencies and we needed to figure out how to make things work better moving forward. Today was the opportunity to start fresh.

Today was also the day I was supposed to begin eating much more healthily. I was a bit embarrassed but I caved and had some of the crap that was still in our house. It was too tempting and I fell for the old logic that if I just ate it and didn’t buy anymore, my real work on my nutritional choices could start. Oops!

It was a quiet day without many plans so it was nice to see that the Little Miss’ toilet training hadn’t suffered much. We’ve been a bit slack on that front lately, but I feel like she is taking the lead when given the opportunity. I only hope she becomes happier with doing poos on the potty or toilet soon!

5 January – Tuesday

It was another quiet day at home. I often feel really uncomfortable having a lull in plans in January. It was literally the second quiet day in a row and I was carrying on in my head like it was the millionth! I reminded myself to calm down and remember that it was good to have quiet times and that we’d survived much more in lockdown last year so wtf was I worried about?! That definitely puts things in perspective!

I did a little painting activity with the Little Miss (she’d got a paint and poster book for Christmas), which made me feel better about my mum skills haha.

The Little Mister slept in a lot (a big deal for him) so I guess we really did need a quiet one! He was starting to act a little stir crazy by the end of the day, though.

While the Little Miss napped, I watched the show Bump (on Stan). It was really good. It’s about a 16 year old who finds out she’s pregnant the day she gives birth!!

When the Little Miss woke up, she refused to wear her nappy (she wears one when sleeping) and I took this as a really good sign. I realised that being home more was actually really good for toilet training reasons. That made me feel better.

6 January – Wednesday

Went to Mum’s for a swim in the pool this afternoon. It was really good to get in the water. Watching the Little Miss’ confidence grow is always so heartwarming. She now loves to ‘swim’ on her own in her little Zoggs swimming vest (highly recommend) which is a big deal because last year she clung to my neck like a little drowned rat (despite loving the water)!

We had to cut the swimming session short when her hangriness caught up with her and she lost it after getting dunked one too many times. She definitely cheered up when my mum gave her a jelly cup after she was all dried and dressed!

It was a nice surprise to hear my husband would be home earlier than usual. Second one in a row too! We had dinner as a family.

7 January – Thursday

This morning I woke up to a real “WTF I WAS ONLY ASLEEP A FEW HOURS AND THIS HAPPENS” moment when I rolled over and checked Twitter on my phone. Trump supporters (terrorists TBH) had stormed the Capitol building in America and the footage and images I was seeing were a lot first thing in the morning!!!

It felt so surreal and I was hooked on the news and also feeling so gobsmacked at how this had happened (despite knowing exactly how it happened if you know what I mean). The brazen incitement of violence on behalf of Donald Trump. The systemic racism that meant these (white) motherf*ckers made it as far as they did into a ‘secure’ building. EVERYTHING.

I dropped the kids off at my mum’s so I could go home and deal with Centrelink etc in order to complete the Little Miss’ daycare enrolment forms for this year. I anticipated being on hold for 50 hours and not making sense out of things. I was pleasantly surprised to only be on hold a couple of minutes, but very unpleasantly surprised to find out that the government has effed up recognition of my identity via MyGov. They haven’t been able to match up my married name and details to my maiden name and details. I have been married over 13 years and had a legally changed name etc for almost as long. WTF. This meant I couldn’t link Medicare or Centrelink to my account and sort anything out. I got told I’d have to visit a physical location with my marriage certificate in order to get anywhere. I gave up and thankfully my husband’s details were just fine so we will go with those for now (buys me some time before I have to line up and sort my own stuff – probably when the Little Miss is in day care LOL).

I headed back to my mum’s and had another swim with her and the kids. It’s so great having access to a pool!

The Little Miss was a bit clingy in the afternoon, which made dinner a bit hard to put together. I got through it, though. Only had to allow Duplo to be spread from wall to wall of the house!

How was your first week of 2021?

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