Tag: weight loss

Kez Gets Physical: Term 1, 2017!

Oh my goodness. As I type this, the Little Mister is having his first day of pre-primary. His first year of full time school is beginning (although he’s only attending two days this week). I have just spent a few minutes walking around my house in awe of the silence. It’s kind of nice being able to move freely without having my every move questioned and being nagged while I’m in the toilet – the last couple of weeks of the holidays damn near broke me haha.

So. Term 1 has begun for the Unprepared household and that means it’s time for me to kick my arse into gear with my Kez Gets Physical routine. Basically, I commit myself to making good nutritional and exercise choices for a whole school term at a time – no excuses, no ‘cheat’ breaks (unless I literally cannot make a better choice in the environment I’m in – or it’s the first day of my shark week – because that’s a given).

I eat low carb, no junk (i.e. confectionary, desserts, overly processed foods, snacks I don’t need etc).

I did this for the first time in the last school term of 2016 and it went swimmingly! I am so proud. I lost some weight that I hadn’t shifted in the longest time (we’re talking years) and I challenged my own self defeated belief that I would never be able to do it. I even enjoyed it! Which was a pleasant shock to me!

Throughout the summer holidays, I relaxed this regime so I could take part in the festive fun without worrying too much. I became addicted to carbs and sugar again and I struggled to exercise regularly due to fatigue or logistics. BUT…because of the good work I’d done beforehand, I managed to maintain a 4kg weight loss that I’d achieved (I initially lost more than 5kg but I think I got off very lightly compared to usual). YES!

I felt better in my clothes throughout the summer and I even wore my bathers (without boardshorts!!!) publicly without any cover ups quite a few times! I am still no Sports Illustrated model, but I love the confidence I gained – more important than the number on the scales. I felt better – lighter (both metaphorically and literally) and more happy inside myself.

I don’t ever want to lose that feeling!

Also, while I don’t have any actual figures to back me up, I swear I saved SO much money last term just by eating right and saying no to the ‘naughty’ extras. Who knew this could be good for the budget?

So here I am again.

Term 1 will be interesting to say the least. I may have to go through some challenging medical procedures (on a secondary infertility journey right now if you’re not familiar with my story yet) and there is also a short interstate family holiday planned, which may throw some hurdles my way, but I will definitely do my best to live healthily and be active when I can.

Now that the Little Mister will be at school full time, I will have more time to balance exercise, work and the stuff I need to get done at home. Yay!

I have 4.8kg to lose, before I reach my goal weight (something that is achievable and within a healthy BMI range etc). I’d love to knock off some more kilos before the end of the term. This would be incredibly exciting as I’d be pushing through some plateaus and making some great progress. I will be so excited when my body fat % is in the 20s again (I’m so close)!

I admit I almost caved and ate some crap today. My body wants everything that is made out of potatoes right now. Not gonna lie. But I’m going to push on through and start how I plan to continue! It gets easier every day and I always feel better (mentally and physically) for it.

I love that I’ve proved to myself that I don’t need fad diets or crazy expensive nutrition and exercise plans to lose weight and feel better. I can’t wait to get back into it.

Are you working hard on making healthy choices right now too? What good habits do you swear by?

You can follow my progress with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook ??

Kez Gets Physical: Week 8 Update

Well well well. I cannot believe it. The end of the school term is finally here! The Little Mister finishes tomorrow and it’s the  holidays! I don’t know who is more excited. OK, it’s me.

This also means that my super strict Kez Gets Physical mode relaxes a little until the school term begins again. You know, because life is short and Christmas is yummy and all that.

In saying that, I have learned a lot during this term of better habits.

I know that I don’t want to slack off and not exercise and eat carb heavy meals every day, even when I’ve told myself I don’t have to. I KNOW. I have come a looooong way. At the very least I’d like to maintain my current weight before term 1 of 2017 begins, but I would love to drop a bit more before then – even if it’s at a slower rate.

I feel like I’ve made good choices in deciding to be much more vigilant about my food and exercise during the school term. It was so much easier to fit new habits into a structured routine and the fact that there is more school term than holidays throughout the year should hold me in good stead. I definitely want to continue this, even when I do reach my goal weight.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot about how diet and exercise work together, as I’ve been able to track my body fat percentage during weigh ins. I notice the difference between the weeks when I’ve not exercised, versus those when I have.

So…how did I do in all of the 8 weeks?

Here’s where I’m at…

In total, I have lost 5.7kg – not bad! My BMI is almost back within the healthy range – not far to go at all!

I currently weigh less than I have in the time I’ve owned a fitbit (and could track it well) since October 2013. That feels good.

I’ve dropped a clothing size in my tops. I still need to tighten up some muffin top to feel entirely comfortable in my clothing but I will get there. Some of my dresses are starting to look too big or unflattering now, although I’m not convinced I could drop a size yet.

I worked out for an average of twice a week, throughout this challenge period. That’s nowhere near as much as I’d hoped to achieve, if I’m honest, but life has been pretty hectic and I think I did my best. I will look into finding ways to improve this.

In this past 8 weeks, I averaged 48,203 steps per week. Could definitely improve but I’m not too mad about it.

Where am I going?

Throughout the holidays, I will continue to try to exercise wherever possible. I will be having a few cheat meals or snacks. I will keep my diet predominantly low carb where possible.

I want to work on my mid section more. I’ve always had a fear around this (fertility related shit) but I have decided to get over myself and just work those abs and sides. Why not? I’m not pregnant. If any of my past problems were going to present themselves, they would whether I exercised hard or not. I should just fuckin’ live and stop holding back, damn it! These holidays are the perfect time.

I will have the Little Mister with me more so finding me-time to exercise will be more challenging. Also, Mr Unprepared will be working longer hours, which will be difficult. I will start to do some awesome YouTube work outs during the day – the Little Mister can join in if he wants and I’ll try to clock up my 30 active minutes minimum daily.

I have 2.8kg to lose before I reach my initial weight target. I would be so thrilled if I could reach this target before school goes back. I won’t beat myself up if I don’t but anything that gets me closer by then will make me very happy.

After this post, I don’t plan on continuing weekly updates (because boring!). I will be sure to check in occasionally, but for now I think I’ll give it a rest (you may find little updates with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on social media). Thanks for those who have stuck it out with me for the last couple of months. This has really helped me to be accountable. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement.


I really needed to make these changes and I am so glad I did. It does take some sacrifice and hard decisions, when temptations (and enablers) are everywhere, but the hard work has been worth it. I feel so much better about myself and I don’t regret it for a second. Getting past those initially difficult weeks where you’re adjusting and suffering from withdrawals is hard, but when you come out the other side you feel so much better. I needed to do this for myself. With the extra weight, I was carrying stress and sadness about my secondary infertility situation. I needed to let it go and start again. I’m getting there.

Thank you for sharing in the (sorry…going to say that word) journey! I mean it. You guys are effing awesome.

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Kez Gets Physical: Week 6 update.

Hello, hello.

It’s that time of the week again! The time when I let you know how my efforts at healthier living have been progressing for the past 7 or so days.

I’ve been eating a pretty low carb diet (it seems to suit me) and generally trying to be more active. I’ve been using the school term as a time based motivator. I figure there are more school days than holidays in a year, so being far more disciplined during the term seems like a good idea. It’s also a good time for me to keep my arse in line, because I have to live by a stricter routine then anyway.

So where am I at right now?

So, I only lost 200g this week. I know why too. Fatigue always keeps the weight on me and I was particularly exhausted this week. I was also experiencing more fluid retention and bloating – my cycle has always been like this. I literally am bloated 50% of my life. Oh, joy. I guess all I can do is find ways to minimise its impact and keep on pushing through.

My body fat percentage (something I probably haven’t bothered to mention before) has stayed the same for most of the week (after steadily decreasing for the whole 5 weeks before it) and I really put this down to less exercise. While I believe that diet is at least 80% of the struggle with keeping weight down, there are definitely benefits from regular exercise. I didn’t get to do any proper work outs this week, due to Mr Unprepared having a really full on work week and the aforementioned fatigue. Where I would have normally grabbed a cheeky half hour on the treadmill when he got home from work, I found myself trying to rush everyone through the evening routine.

Still, a weight loss is a loss. I’m OK with that. I suffered from extreme PMS hunger and it was a challenging week. I still stayed on track diet wise when at times I wanted to fall off the wagon. I am proud of myself.

Good choices I made this week…

I went clothes shopping with my mum. It was very exciting. We get to do that – just the two of us – only about twice a year these days, so it’s something we treasure. Nothing like bonding over retail therapy! I was glad for the opportunity to try on clothes and adjust to the weight loss progress I’ve made so far. I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I needed to figure out what size to wear and what styles suit me now that I had trouble wearing before. I may not have lost much weight in the big scheme of things, but I am now smaller than I have been in a long time. Being able to try on clothes that made me feel good, for the sake of style, not comfort or trying to hide things, was amazing. My mum was the best sidekick because she’s always honest and supportive. It was a bit of a nice boost to the ego to have her compliment me on how well I’m doing.

A lot of my clothes were starting to look silly on me. Oversized and out of style. I needed the confidence boost of finding things that I can wear right now, without feeling like an awkward weirdo.

I realised that I am no longer an Aussie size 12 on the top half. I am a 10. Even an 8 in some oversized styles! I honestly hadn’t even considered that to be a possibility so soon. I was so used to reaching for the ‘large’ or ’12’ in everything without really seeing how a size down would fit.

This week, I also finally got around to clearing out my wardrobe. I packed away the stuff that doesn’t fit or flatter anymore (for the right reasons for once!) and will decide later whether to donate those items. I put all my new items front and centre. I stashed the winter stuff towards the back. It made me feel so much better. I now look in my wardrobe and feel happy about the outfit choices I get to make each day, instead of confused and dejected!

Things I can improve for week 7…

WEEK SEVEN?! Crazy. Anyway, I know exactly what factors could have given me more dramatic results this past week. It just comes down to more exercise and pushing through the bloat (I handle it by drinking more water and green tea).

Also, even though I have been eating really healthily, I think I could probably reduce some of my portion sizes. I get a little crazy over the coleslaw bags from the supermarket in particular – I could easily single handedly devour a whole bag in one sitting. Oops! Half of that with a decent amount of protein would probably be quite sufficient!


So that’s it for me for today!

How are you doing? 

Kez Gets Physical: Week 5 update.

Hello, peeps! I’m checking in for the fifth week in a row, to let you know how I’m tracking with my healthy living efforts. I’m glad I’m recording this stuff, because I want to be able to remember that all of this was actually possible, after I’d convinced myself over the past few years that it wasn’t.

Here’s where I’m at…

Look, I had a few setbacks in the weight loss department during week 4 and it was a little disheartening. I can only put it down to my cycle (and I am not talking about bike riding) and fluid retention. I felt yucky and bloated too, despite eating all the right non-bloaty foods and being quite *ahem* regular. Nothing seemed to help.

This week, my body made up for lost time!! I lost 1.8kg! I have now lost a total of 5.1kg! I am so excited to have reached the 5kg milestone! It’s definitely worth celebrating. My body fat % has also decreased slowly and steadily along with my weight. I’m now officially less than a third made up of fat haha (my initial goal is 25%).

My step count has been down this week too (I feel like a broken record) with only 41,798 out of the 70K goal reached at the time of writing this. BUT…I did put in some decent exercise 4 times this week and I think it really helped.

Mr Unprepared is starting to notice the changes in my body (and is giving embarrassing compliments – oh stop it – no don’t!) and I am realising with a little bittersweetness that I may have to buy my bras a cup size down! My size 11 jeans fit really well, with little to no muffin top – amazing!

Good choices I made…

The best choice I made was to push through last week. Despite gaining weight and feeling bloated, I made a huge effort to not give up and sabotage myself (something I’ve done a lot in the past when hitting a plateau like that). I kept pushing through and doing the right things, even when it felt like they weren’t working. Seeing the ‘double’ loss this week has proven to me that the hard work pays off and you do see results eventually. That plateau lasted a week – it wasn’t forever. Shit happens. It’s probably going to happen every cycle. At least I’m getting to know my body!

I started to up my water intake. I feel a bit better for it. I have returned to my habit of starting the day with a glass and topping up throughout the day. I wouldn’t say I’m drinking the right amount yet, but I’ve definitely made progress.

I ordered my fish grilled instead of battered from the fish and chips shop on Friday. I also didn’t eat any chips (OK so I stole ONE from Mr Unprepared – had to check that potatoes still taste the same)! I had a side of coleslaw (with minimal dressing I applied myself)! It was friggin’ delicious and I felt so full and content afterwards. Yes!

Things I could improve…

Blah blah step count blah blah – you’ve heard me say it every week, damn it!


Thanks for sticking by me through this process. I don’t mean to sound like a ‘healthy living’ wanker. I just gotta do this for myself, y’know?

How are you going?

Kez Gets Physical: Week 3 Update.

I can’t believe I’m about to start the 4th week of living healthier (again)! That also means that the school term is almost halfway through – that is crazy! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I just want to say that I’ve been really enjoying eating a bit cleaner. For the most part I haven’t missed my processed carbs, anything made of potato, white bread or pastries. For the MOST part. Of course I have a couple of moments where the weather is nice, and I imagine myself tucking into some amazing ‘dude food’ (because I’m clearly a dude or food marketing people are clearly sexist) at the pub, but I have resisted a lot of my old temptations with very little fuss made lately and I’m proud.

So, where am I at right now?

Just like last week, I lost 0.9kg again! I guess my body isn’t into the whole ’round numbers’ thing! Still, I’m quite relieved to say the least. I broke my diet a couple of times. Not anything huge – a bite of cake here, a beautiful home made sausage roll at a housewarming there. And my exercise was absolutely shit, let’s be honest (but we’ll get to that)!

My step count? Oh, you guys. I only achieved half of my target and I don’t really have any excuses! At the time of writing this I only got 35,314 steps in! While I have most of the (Sun)day to add a few more thousand, I obviously won’t get anywhere near the 70,000 mark.

So far I’ve lost 3.8kg, which is really exciting for me. I was getting annoyed that my size 12 jeans were getting slightly saggy (you know when they get pouchy around the crotch and it’s weird?) and also annoyed that it’s still jeans weather so I couldn’t just throw hang them in the back of my wardrobe and forget about them for the summer. I was not in the mood to buy new ones! But…then I remembered that I had a pair of skinny jeans left over from the last time I was a little slimmer! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when I pulled those size 11s up, they fit better than they ever have! SCORE!

Of course this led to me trying on all those dresses I cannot part with and I was excited to realise that I have expanded my wardrobe by about 3 dresses (and they still look current and fashionable – yes!).

I still think I’m a pretty solid size 12 (my jeans were probably just stretched out in certain areas), but I’m a much more comfy one! It’s nice to not feel like I’m squashed into everything.

Good choices I made this week…

I was faced with cake, not once but twice. And I only had a bite sized portion each time. Not a piece or three like usual. But a bite of each! I know that sounds really obsessive, but to be honest, I really didn’t feel like it! I think I’ve weaned myself off a lot of sugar (not all but a lot compared to usual), so I didn’t really miss it! I KNOW! A taste was enough for me.

I also ate out twice (at people’s houses – thanks for having us!) and simply picked the greens/salads and proteins over the bread rolls and potatoes etc (apart from that one delicious little sausage roll haha). It wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be! I don’t believe in changing people’s plans to suit my diet (i.e. if there were no healthier options I would have just dug into anything that was going) but I’m realising there are healthier options almost everywhere once you have some good habits in place, and you don’t have to put anyone out or make a big deal out of it.

Things I could improve…

Hands down, it would have to be the exercise. I didn’t get anywhere near my step goal and I didn’t work out properly. I had maybe one quick last ditch effort on the treadmill and that was it. My incidental exercise was quite minimal compared to normal too.

I sometimes struggle to get diet AND exercise happening together. At the same time.

I was feeling unmotivated and mentally/emotionally exhausted (still). I would choose to sit down and do nothing when I had a chance to get up and do something! Even the housework suffered – oops. I just felt so drained. It was frustrating. I guess I’m just processing a lot of things at the moment and to some degree that can’t be helped. I just have to find my way through it, like with anything in life. I need to find the balance between knowing when to rest and knowing when exercise would actually really help!

I hope I have better luck with week 4!

How are you feeling this week? 

Thank you for keeping me accountable, simply by reading these blog posts! It’s been a great motivator!

You can follow my efforts throughout the week on social media with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical ?

 

Kez Gets Physical: Week 2 Update.

It’s been a big week for me, emotionally. Some of the (in)fertility stuff has done my head in and I spent a lot of time feeling utterly drained. Still, I am glad to be coming out of that headspace and after the Little Mister let me sleep in this morning (it was AMAZING), I feel ready to take on a new week of better health (mentally and physically)!

So here’s my update for Week 2 and may I say I really am glad I’ve decided to document this “journey” (sorry – had to use the word) on my blog because just thinking about what I would have to tell you at the end of the week kept me on the straight and narrow!

Where I’m at

This week, I lost 0.9kg. I am quite happy with that! It’s almost a kilo and still above 0.5kg (which is what I’d consider a healthy weekly loss). In total, I’ve lost 3kg! I had a look back through my Fitbit stats and realised I haven’t weighed this low since 2014!

An interesting thing to note is that I’ve basically lost the weight I gained since we started trying to conceive a second child (yep we’ve been trying for over 2 years now). It feels really therapeutic to shed all the weight that came with comfort eating and feeling at odds with my body. I feel like I’m stronger now and I love that my body is reflecting this.

I had a goal of 70,000 steps for this week, but I admit I fell short with 60,185 (at the time of posting this).

Good choices I made this week

I ate out on Friday night with the girls. I knew this could possibly be challenging (so many temptations!), but I was ready to rise to the challenge of picking the healthiest thing possible for me from the menu. I managed to not eat spring rolls, prawn crackers or rice (while eating low carb suits me I am not preaching it to anyone else – you do you)! I had garlic prawns and mixed vegetables – delicious! I felt full and satisfied afterwards. I even weighed less the morning after! Awesome! Although, maybe I was also a little dehydrated after enjoying my first cider in ages haha.

I think generally that my nutrition was on point all week. I had to visit a delicious food truck for work mid week, but I had a very small (very delicious – highly recommend) portion and then went home for a salad I’d prepared earlier! I’m finding it’s getting easier and easier to say no to things that aren’t the best for me. I think I must really be in the right space to create better habits for myself at the moment. I’ve tried similar things in the past and failed to sustain them. I really hope I can keep this up.

I went clothes shopping during the week, because I didn’t want to get caught out with nothing at all to wear when the weather gets good. I enjoyed trying on clothes (although my bank balance did limit my haul haha) and while I haven’t dropped any dress sizes or changed dramatically in appearance yet, I loved that I wasn’t bloated or feeling awful about myself. It was a great non food reward for my big efforts too. I had a revelation that if I keep these habits up, I won’t ever have to feel that worry that an outfit won’t fit one day because I ate the wrong thing the day/hour/minute before I put it on. I look forward to feeling consistently OK when trying on clothes, all day/night long (in a store or at home)! How freeing!

Here’s a rare mirror selfie of me…I felt good that day (and I bought the skirt)!

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Things I could improve

I might be feeling all empowered and generally quite good about myself, but I noticed that on Saturday after I’d had a bad (in)fertility appointment with my doctor the day before, and was feeling confused and tired and sad, I looked in the mirror and, for the first time in two weeks, thought I looked ‘fat’ and ‘gross’ and that I clearly wasn’t getting anywhere. I was surprised by such negative thinking. I realised that it was just my subconscious disappointment in my body – that it hasn’t been doing what I have wanted it to do for so long. I noted this and I realise I’m going to have to work on being kinder to myself during stressful times. I am realising that you can lose all the weight in the world, but if you don’t feel good about yourself on the inside, you will never appreciate it. How many times have we looked at a photo from 10 years ago, thought ‘wow I was looking good’ and then remembered that we thought we were fat and gross the day the picture was taken? I am going to try harder to see myself through kind eyes ALL the time.

My step count was obviously just under 10,000 down from what I’d hoped to achieve. I think I let stress and fatigue get to me on occasion and I do still need to figure out how to keep active on days when I’m working a few hours at a desk. I will just keep on trying. Any tips? I’ve tried walking on the spot during commercial breaks while watching TV at night, but that’s about it!

I think I’m doing well with my cardio, but I would like to start to incorporate some more strength exercises into my routine too.


How are you doing? You can follow my efforts with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on social media! I’ve also jumped on board with BabyMac’s hilarious hashtag #notafatmoleforchristmas ?

Kez Gets Physical: Week 1 Update

So I’m one week into my renewed efforts at getting healthier. Seven days, you guys! I thought I’d check in weekly, to keep myself accountable and share anything I’ve learned.

Where I’m at…

I’ve lost 2.3kg this week! Of course, that’s the easy 2.3kg. Those are the couple of kilos that come off quickly when I do stuff like not drinking soft drink or having dessert at night. Or you know, not eating my weight in potato chips. Still, after months and months of plateauing and not being motivated to make real changes, this is the most significant progress I’ve made in a long time. Weight just doesn’t drop off me, so this is a great start! It may get harder from here, but I don’t mind as long as I keep dropping until I get closer to my target weight (and a better BMI).

I aimed for 50,000 steps this week (even though I will normally aim for 70,000 – an average of 10,000 a day), because I had my *ahem* time of the month and that can get tricky. At the time of writing this, I have reached 58,708 for the week! Another win!

I don’t feel so bloated all the time and my jeans fit me a little bit better than they did a week ago – i.e. They’re still a bit tight but I don’t feel like I’m going to explode out of them anymore haha.

Good choices I made this week

I walked past so many temptations at the supermarket (and I was there a lot). It was hard! I saw so many delicious treats just teasing me! I just tried to keep my willpower strong. I’d say no and just keep on walking. I didn’t let myself change my mind. It’s my new mantra – JUST SAY NO, THEN WALK.

I made meals for my family that I could adapt to suit my improvement in diet. I am trying to cut out a lot of carb heavy foods, but I do not want to deprive my family – one growing little boy and a husband who eats pretty clean during the work week as it is. If I had some protein and lots of greens, I was a happy lady.

I didn’t make excuses when I was poorly prepared. For example, today, I was out and about in the morning, but there weren’t many food choices that were best for me. I hadn’t had breakfast before I left home (I was too busy rushing around getting ready to leave the house on time). I knew that I was walking into a big kids’ birthday party where there would be lots of temptations on offer, and I knew that I would not get to eat lunch for a while. I would normally have just dived into the fairy bread, cakes and pastry delights, but this time I stopped by a juice bar and bought a protein smoothie that was full of nothing but good stuff. I filled up on it during the drive to the park and I felt so good when my stomach got the memo that it was full!

Things I could improve

Prioritising exercise. I still keep making excuses to sit on the couch when I should probably get off my butt and at least do a quick work out (you can find so many helpful and fun/easy enough videos online). I also find that I give into mum guilt a lot too and end up sacrificing opportunities to work out. I must work on this. My health is just as important as everyone else’s!


All in all, I’m really pleased with how Week 1 has turned out. I feel really good about my progress and I want it to continue! I know things will get harder in another week or two when I might start to lose focus and be tempted by old habits (old habits die hard as they say). I don’t want to become complacent! I want these to be lifelong habits and I need to drop another 6kg at least (that’s the point where I will assess whether I need to keep losing), before I can think about just working on maintenance.

Of course, numbers on the scale aren’t everything but I’d be lying if I said they aren’t a big factor in what I’m doing. I do need to lose weight, but I want to do it in a healthy way. I’m enjoying putting good nutrients in my body each day.

Wish me luck for week 2!

How are you doing? Follow my hashtag #kezgetsphysical to follow my efforts on social media (and feel free to join in)! x

Kez Gets Physical: Back to healthy habits. Again!

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’d know that I am on a constant journey of trying to improve my mental and physical health. I have some success, then I fall back, then I try again. And I blog about it and try not to bore you too much with all the ups and downs! *embarrassed face emoji*

But I keep going because I hope that at the very least, I’m relatable? Like, I’m not going to get a six pack (the not alcohol kind) or run a marathon any time soon but I do want to look after myself and do it in a way that isn’t too overwhelming or unachievable for the average parent/adult with limited time and funds!

Lately, I have fallen behind in looking after my health. It’s all the usual stuff – comfort eating, not being active enough in my down time. Not trying hard enough to prioritise my own self care, when trying to balance family/home life (ugh I hate that I do the martyr thing – hate it). I’ve also dealt with the mental blocks related to my struggles with secondary infertility. There are times in my cycle that I’m too scared to go hard with exercise for various reasons (I got scared when I had endometriosis because my ovary would hurt when I ran and that feeling has stuck with me). I also admit that I’ve comfort eaten whenever the familiar signs of PMS have returned (something that is tough enough when you’re not trying to conceive but very upsetting when you are). I’ve also had fluctuating energy levels as a result of lots of fertility related stuff. Not to mention, my immune system has suffered greatly this winter (I know it’s spring but I’m calling it winter until the weather proves otherwise)!

While I am being kind to myself as some things I deal with are unavoidable, I also want to kick myself up the arse. I feel like I get held back in a few areas of my life and I don’t want my health to be one of those things anymore.

So, I’ve decided to get back on track. I’m going to be really disciplined for the upcoming school term (starting this week coming). That’s around 10 weeks. I know I’m going to feel so good about myself if I just get my act together!

I am hoping to lose weight for both superficial and health reasons. I’ve ballooned out a bit and while it doesn’t wreck my day (I love being in my 30s and not losing entire days bawling my eyes out about how I look in my jeans anymore), I do admit to being a bit confronted by photos (and shop window reflections) these days. I also want to be fitter. I’m OK fitness wise, but I could really try harder.

I don’t have specific 10 week targets in place, but I do want to see my weight drop weekly (whether it’s 100 grams or a whole kilo I will take it) and I do want to average 70,000 steps a week.

I am going to try to eat cleaner and to watch my portion sizes. I think I would benefit greatly from cutting down on my carb consumption. I am honestly THE WORST. My protein to greens to carbohydrates ratios are severely out of whack each meal time!

Mostly I am going to just enjoy the feeling of knowing I’m doing my best and not giving into excuses! I may have fallen off the healthy living wagon time and again, but I’m proud of myself that I’ll never stop trying to do better!

I hope to check in with you at the end of the school year, with some good news about how I’m fitting in my clothes and enjoying being active and shit.

In the meantime I am going to use the hashtag #kezgetsphysical to document my efforts on social media. I want to thank you in advance for keeping me accountable!

How are you going? Do you need a kick up the bum too? Want to use the school term as a motivator as well? Got any tips for me? 

Kez Gets Physical: Loving your body (and yourself) NOW.

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When I say ‘love’, I don’t mean that you have to be head over heels, loving yourself sick and thinking you’re the sexiest beast to walk the planet every time you look in the mirror – no improvements needed (although you are totally a sexy beast – just saying). I mean the act of love. The ‘being kind to yourself’ kind of love. The kind of acceptance for yourself and your body that you would give anybody else that you care about, but somehow forget to give yourself. The remembering that you are more than what you look like. That kind of love.

I used to be of the mentality that I would have to work hard to get the body that I want and THEN I could love myself – you know, when I got really hot. And you know what? I was MISERABLE. I was all about the destination and not about the journey. Holding off my happiness and acceptance of myself was not the best idea I’ve ever had. In fact, it turned out to be really counterproductive.

Also, WTF. How shallow is that?? I would never treat somebody else like that. Why do it to myself?

The funny thing is, it took me being the heaviest and most unfit I’ve ever been in my life to actually start loving myself (this was only a few months and a couple of kilograms ago). I think it’s because I had to accept that if I got myself moving and really made an effort to improve my health, it would take a lot longer than it ever has before. It wouldn’t be a quick fix (and nor did I want it to be). That’d be a really long time to wait to be happy.

For me, the happiness I feel when I’m saying nice things to myself, is what actually motivates me. I’ve made so much more progress in my journey to better health since I decided to be happy with myself NOW than I was ever making when I made the choice to loathe who I saw in the mirror each day.

How do I love myself and my body NOW

I used to think that there was no point buying nice new clothes because I’d be heaps smaller and slimmer one day, so what’s the point? May as well make do with what I had until I was ‘hot again’ and then I could spoil myself. That was a HUGE mistake. Each day I faced a wardrobe filled with things that didn’t fit anymore. Stuff I was waiting to fit back into. See, I never got rid of that stuff because I thought that if I did, it was like telling myself I’d never wear that size/style again. I thought it would be like admitting I was giving up. Thing is, I was also subconsciously telling myself that I didn’t deserve nice new clothes that fit and flattered, because I didn’t think I was good enough how I was.

Each day I would have to wade through the stuff that I couldn’t wear anymore. I would feel sad and annoyed (it also was a big waste of time). Every day. I would put on some drab piece of clothing – probably something super floaty I could do nothing but hide in and hope I blended in with. It was often a few seasons old or it looked overly worn out. I never felt good.

I also never worked out. I told myself that until I was ‘hot’ enough to wear gym clothes, I shouldn’t buy any, like I didn’t have the right to buy it because I wasn’t ‘the real deal’ or experienced enough. But then I would never be able to exercise the way I wanted, because I didn’t have the right clothes or I felt frumpy and out of place when I improvised! Funny that.

So one day something snapped in me and I went into a little bit of a frenzy. I packed all the stuff that didn’t fit me into bags. One for charity and one to put aside somewhere just in case (in a container to be stored away so I didn’t have to see it every day). My wardrobe looked quite bare, but suddenly there was room for new stuff. Stuff I deserved to buy myself. Best decision I ever made.

Now I go clothes shopping when I can (which is not often but I make it count) and I put some effort in. I deserve it. I deserve to look and feel nice no matter what weight I am or where I am in my progress as I strive to be healthier and stronger. I have a couple of aspirational clothing items but I keep them to a minimum and they are realistic aspirations – not crazy dreams of a size 6 mini dress – the kind worn only by Hollywood socialites on the red carpet (socialite in mini dress I am not)! If I ever get small enough for that kind of thing (and someone invites me to a red carpet event haha), I’ll go buy it when I need it. For now, I’m happy to dress for where I’m at. Yes. Happy. I’m gonna be sexy NOW damn it!

The more I exercise and eat better, the less I care what people might think of my appearance. Because there’s something magical about knowing your truth. If I’m doing all I can, people can think whatever the fuck they like. When I was miserable and secretly eating my feelings every day and hiding in grey muu muu dresses, I thought that any negative thoughts people had of my appearance would be all I deserved. It wasn’t and to be honest, I don’t think other people thought much of anything. I was just projecting my own feelings about myself onto them. Deep, huh?

Another thing to do is to find inspiration (and perspective) in people who are more like you, physically. I know heaps of beautiful girls of all sizes and shapes who look AMAZING to me all the time and not once have I ever looked at them and thought bad things about them just because of how they carry their weight (or any other physical trait). In fact, I see who they are shining through more than anything. If I don’t judge them, should I be judging myself? Hell to the no! That’s also a good indicator that other people probably aren’t judging me either!

Now when I look in the mirror, I look for the good things. Sure, I might do a quick ‘does my back fat look too obvious in this’ check (old habits die hard), but I look for the little differences in my muscle tone since I started exercising more. I look at the things I like about my outfit or my body. Because I put love into my body and my wardrobe NOW, it is much easier. I’m proud of a ‘look’ I’ve achieved, rather than relieved I can blend in for another day (or horribly anxious that someone will ‘out’ me as not being good enough).

Even if my clothes aren’t fitting great (and the stuff in the shops is not helping either), I find ways to pamper myself. Cute accessories (they’ll always fit), colourful shoes, getting my nails done (or taking the time to do them myself). It doesn’t matter what size I am. I know I’m working hard and things will improve. I am kind to myself because I deserve my own kindness NOW (or at least I am working really hard on it).

Because what’s more motivating? Someone bullying us and saying we’re not good enough or someone telling us they care and that they’ve got our back and they know we can do this because we’re worth it?

Don’t be your own bully!

You are beautiful in so many ways RIGHT NOW!

The big question: Do you believe me?

Kez Gets Physical: A weighty topic.

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I don’t really like the idea of talking too much about weight loss anymore (ironic I know when you consider the topic of this blog post). I think it’s because everyone focuses on it so much. It really isn’t everything when it comes to being healthier. Am I excited when I see a loss on the scales? Of course. But my reasons for wanting to see that decrease has changed drastically over time.

It used to be all about my looks. I would be so ashamed of my appearance that I would cry before leaving the house (how embarrassment). I’d be so worried that everyone would think I couldn’t pull off an outfit because I was too overweight. Or that they might mistakenly think I was pregnant (a big ridiculous phobia which has sadly been proven to be valid on occasion because people can’t shut their mouths and mind their own business).

Now it’s about much more than my looks. Do I want to see the numbers drop on the scale? Absolutely. Am I going to end up talking about it? Yeah. But this time it’s about being healthy and feeling better physically.

This body was not built to be chubby. I have a small, Asian frame and when I carry too much weight I really feel it. My thighs chafe. My feet hurt more when I walk. I physically feel like shit when I’ve been filling my body with the wrong things (weight gain being the obvious side effect). And for reasons that are entirely practical, if I don’t keep my weight down, my clothes (currently size 12) don’t fit and I know that I cannot go up any more sizes because those sizes are made for taller people and I wouldn’t be able to find anything in the shops (I’m only 5 foot tall yo).

I want to be a healthy BMI to avoid type 2 diabetes in the future (as well as decrease my chances of complications with gestational diabetes in any future pregnancy). I want to feel agile and not heavy when I move.

Yeah, I do look forward to the side effects of weight loss when it comes to the superficial side of things, but I am very careful not to let it be my focus. Since working on my health, I haven’t worried anywhere near as much about whether people think I’m pregnant when my stomach bloats up or sticks out. I know I’m working on my fitness and it makes me feel like anyone who accuses me, or subtly implies, that they think I am ‘with child’ (without a shred of evidence because duh I’m not) can go jump off a bridge, while I smile and wave to them because I have the comfort of knowing I’m making healthy choices, regardless of what they think it looks like.

I’m not going to preach to anyone else how to lose weight (that’s up to the experts and it’s not up to me to tell you that you need to do anything – you do you boo). I just know that I am not going to let my self image be defined by what numbers are on the scales.

My weight is just a part of my journey to better health. There is so much more I am working on too.

So when you hear me talk about my weight loss goals and celebrating little weight loss milestones, I am only talking about a part of my experience. I am enjoying the mental health benefits of exercising more. I love when I can rush about during the day without feeling like I’m going to collapse from exhaustion. I am so glad when I feel good after eating foods that aren’t filled with the junk that makes you feel sluggish or nauseous (I am not by ANY stretch of the imagination saying I do not indulge regularly haha). I get excited, the closer I get to having a BMI within the healthy range (as opposed to currently being in the overweight category). I love when there’s evidence (guys I’m talking about regular poops hahaha) that my metabolism is remembering what to do.

I am sick of seeing the media and pop culture so singularly focused on what a (usually female) celebrity weighs. On what a woman looks like after giving birth. We are so much more than that. It’s insulting that women feel compelled to show their post-pregnancy-bodies off. To prove how great they are at shedding the baby weight, or conversely to prove what ‘normal’ looks like. Why do we even care at all? We are so much more than that. We are warrior women, no matter what any of us looks like.

Shouldn’t we be talking about the important things? Yes, reclaiming our bodies is a journey after birth (even almost 4 years on as is my case), and it can be so great to celebrate that, but it should be for the right reasons. For us as individuals – not to match some stupid, superficial standard that society seemingly has for us.

That is why I scroll past the ‘such and such flaunts her post baby body’ headlines. Um…that famous chick just went to the supermarket a relatively short time after having a baby. WHAT? That’s why I don’t buy the magazines. I am not even slightly tempted. That is why I won’t be joining any ‘movement’ to post photos of my ‘real’ belly any time soon (or ever). I simply do not care and I wish that more people would join me in my ‘not caring’. It’s liberating.

The feminist in me says, let’s stop oppressing ourselves and each other in such a demeaning way. Let’s say no to those who try to do it to us. Women are so much more than their appearance or what they weigh. How are we allowing ourselves to be defined in such a limited way?!

Sure, we’re humans and we like looking at pretty, shiny things. Sometimes we even like to become pretty, shiny things. There is nothing wrong with that, but it isn’t everything. It’s not even the most important thing. Not even close.

Let’s focus on who we are and how we feel mentally, physically and spiritually. We have so much more to offer than an obsession with the bathroom scales or how fast we lose weight. Let’s not forget that weight loss can be unhealthy and disordered too. It’s why we do it, how we do it and the way we choose to talk about it that really matters.

 How do you feel about the way the media portrays women? Have you struggled with your body image?