Tag: style

Style rules that we need to break.

Recently, I have been reflecting on my own personal style. It has become apparent to me that the things I wear may have evolved since I was a teen but the essence of who I’ve always been is still alive and kicking (the recent 90s throwback trends have not helped haha). I have always loved a rock n roll tee-shirt, ripped everything, black mini skirts and bright colour in my hair (something the 12 year old me was peeved about my mum not allowing)! I have days where I feel like laying low with a casual look that blends in and I have days/nights where I want to go all out and get glammed up. Sometimes I’m super feminine. Sometimes I just want bad ass grunge.

I’m married, I just turned 33 and I have a kid who goes to a private school. While this shouldn’t factor into my daily wardrobe choices, it really really does (even when my kid and husband are nowhere to be seen).

I get scared of judgement if I go out on a bit of a limb. Obviously I am mature enough to understand what’s appropriate vs what is wildly inappropriate in certain settings, but I’m talking about personal style rather than say a person dressing like a stripper at a school function for example!!

I am constantly surprised by the old school attitudes towards women who dare to dress differently. I’ve seen women torn apart in the media for daring to look sexy – “She’s a mother now! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!”

What year is this???

Like being a parent stops you from ever being allowed to bare any hint of cleavage or to go out and have a good time while looking gorgeous, because for once you got babysitting and time to actually put an effort into your appearance!

Coupled up girlfriends have faced comments like, “If you’re dressed like that, you look like you’re out on the prowl!”

What the actual fuck? Isn’t that a slightly sneaky version of slut shaming???

Can’t a woman dress for herself in something that makes her feel gorgeous without people believing it’s an invitation for men to have a crack?

Sometimes I get scared. Do I look like “mutton dressed as lamb” if I wear that ripped tee? Is it OK for me to wear pleather? Does my hair look ridiculous with the splashes of turquoise? When will I be too old to do as I please?

I’m not actually very wild, by the way. I look quite ‘respectable’ by old school prude terms. I just have a hint of rock chick about me on good days (i.e. days where I feel confident and actually have more than 5 minutes to put myself together). But I want to be braver. I think perhaps I’m too dialled down to the point where I feel like I lose who I am and I get frustrated. I think I could get away with being dressed a little more like ‘me’, but I often don’t out of fear.

I have so many style crushes on women who break the ‘rules’. Sometimes it’s because I wish I had their style, but mostly it’s because I wish I had their courage. I wish I could just not give a fuck what people might say/think if I dare to be different.

I think it’s time to throw out the ‘rules’ based purely on a person’s age, gender, marital or parental status. We should be thinking about what fits, flatters, shows our personalities and makes us feel awesome.

I have a feeling that like me, a lot of my friends dress down when they really feel like dressing up or that they dress up when they really want to dress down. That makes me feel sad. We should dress however the hell we want and celebrate each other for it!

I love when one person has the courage to just be themselves – it makes me feel brave too. I think it’s contagious.

I hate when I feel over-dressed/under dressed and keep comparing myself to other people. I hate when people make passive aggressive remarks about someone’s choice of high heels. Or ask them “aren’t you cold in that?” when the person is perfectly comfortable. Why do we do that to each other?

A friend told me that she was told that mothers shouldn’t wear short shorts. My comment back was along the sarcastic lines of “Yeah, you have to be careful because your uterus might fall out after all that birthing of children.”

Seriously. WTF.

I hate that some men think we’re dressing just for them if we put an effort in, and that women perpetuate this myth by telling each other not to be too pretty or daring or not to show boobs AND legs at the same time – god forbid.

I say that if you look and feel good (whatever your shape or size), if you can carry off a look with an air of confidence and dignity, then fuck the rules! Rules are made to be broken! There are always exceptions!

Every memorable style icon I can think of broke the rules at one point or another. That’s how they stood out and became so admired. Let’s remember that!

Now I must go and try very hard to take my own advice.

What is your personal style? Do you feel like you’re truly able to express yourself? How do you feel about the ‘rules’? 

Hey, Priceline lady. Let me live!

So, recently I decided that I really needed some brown eye liner. Something water proof, retractable (who has time for sharpening that shit). Something that would define my eyes in the day time, without being obvious if it smudged (because I’m always in a mad rush to get ready). Something that would look like I wasn’t really wearing eye make up, even though I totally am. Gotta keep up the illusion that I totally wake up like that, right? OK, so it’s not a very good illusion – not sure I convince anyone – but it makes me feel good, OK?

A while back I’d read that it was a nice way to soften the something something of the eye and bring out the colour in your…something. Look, I can’t remember. All I knew is that it seemed like a good idea.

I could be wrong, but I swear I’ve seen a lot of it in magazine photos and on TV dramas where the characters look flawless and have big, doe eyes – thanks to brown eye liner.

I figured it’s a pretty timeless staple, on account of its neutrality and the fact that the nudes are big in make up at the moment (everything from eye shadow to blush to lips etc etc).

But nope. A visit to my local Priceline told me I was wrong. WRONG!

I asked the girl where I could find a waterproof, brown eye liner. She raised her well styled brows and very black, very winged eyes at me.

“Oh, I don’t know. There’s probably not anything waterproof and brown. Brown eye liner is just not popular at the moment. It’s just not something anyone is buying.”

Um…BUT I WANT SOME.

“Oh, OK…” I replied, “I just wanted something subtle for the day time.”

I glanced at her very Kylie Jenner-esque layers of make up (I once watched a snapchat tutorial where she used 15 products to achieve a natural look) and felt like now we were accidentally appearing to be judging each other.

Awkward.

“It’s just not popular! At the moment!” she persisted.

Shhh, girl. Quit while you’re ahead. Shhhh.

Literally half a second later (i.e. as soon as she started looking), she located one.

“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise, “Here’s one.”

Fancy that!

As I thanked her and walked away to pay for it, I could almost feel her telepathically still sending the impassioned plea “IT’S JUST NOT POPULAR” at my brain from behind. The poor girl. I hope she didn’t lose any sleep over it.

I’ve never been into blindly following what’s popular or not. I pick trends that suit my style and reject those that don’t. So I wasn’t really that fussed about its popularity and I wasn’t offended (much)!

I agree that black, winged eyes are huge at the moment too, but I just figured brown liner was one of those things that is just always there – the underrated but reliable product. Y’know?

Am I old and shamelessly out of touch? I mean, I was probably almost double the Priceline girl’s age…

I laughed at her youthful disregard for tact and wondered what else I don’t understand about make up and fashion.

Edited to add: I had the best moment of smugness less than a week later when Kylie Jenner spruiked her brown eye liner on Snapchat, calling it her ‘favourite’. I have a feeling that it’s going to sell VERY WELL ? Who would have thought I was so ahead of the curve after all??

What are your thoughts on brown eye liner? Have you ever been informed by a stranger that your choices are ‘just not popular’? Been surprised by fashion/trend developments? 

 

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Winter 2016: Finding my casual style.

It’s taken me a while, but I am finally getting a grasp on how to dress myself (yes I know how dumb that sounds – I’m 32). In fact, I am actually enjoying myself. I am noticing my style re-emerging after a bunch of ‘lost’ years and I am digging it! I guess I’ve had to lift my game since I became a school mum (I just won’t stop banging on about that will I?) at the beginning of this year. I’ve been trying to nail that whole casual/looks like I haven’t put in too much effort/OK to be seen in public look! I wanted to start feeling like a grown up, but the kind of grown up I feel comfortable being. Which means the ripped jeans and silly tees and ever so subtle rock and roll feel totally get to stay!

I’ve learned a lot this winter and found inspiration in the people around me and on the internet. I haven’t had to spend a lot – I’m learning it’s all how you put it together!

Here’s the stuff I’m loving…

Ripped skinny jeans

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I will scour every sale table for a pair of ripped size 12s (they are so hard to find)! I have a pair in black and a pair in denim blue. They are great for being comfy in a hoody with or for pairing with cool T-shirts, plaid button up shirts, and jackets. I love how the ripped effect gives my outfits a little bit of edge and because I’m feeling that my legs are a bit chunky (and short), I love how the rips kind of break up the big blocks of denim.

You can dress them up and down – so versatile!

I used to be scared of jeans because of the constant muffin top situation, but they make them stretchier now (slightly higher rise ones are the best) and I think I’ve finally got the sizing right (don’t always listen when the sales assistant tells you to go down a size to allow for wearing them in)! There are also really clever ways to layer and hide the ‘bloop’ around the waistline – especially in winter!

Footwear: pairing those ripped jeans with sneaks and ankle boots and (wait for it) open toed wedges!

I don’t know what rock I’ve been hiding under, but I only just learned about the ‘rolling the hem of your jeans up’ trend this winter. Not only does it weirdly lengthen your leg (something to do with the showing of some ankle bones – sexy) but it helps you to wear almost any footwear with them too!

Great for a shorty like me!

I love cute little Converse style sneakers for a really casual look and I love ankle boots for a bit of warmth and dressed up style.

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I have black boots myself, but you get the idea! Ankle boots are everywhere at the moment so it’s really easy to find an affordable pair that suits your look!

Here’s the surprise revelation I’ve just made…here in WA, we get a lot of sunny winter days. I don’t know why but I’ve always had this stupid fear of being shamed for wearing open toed shoes in winter (there’s always that bitch that says “aren’t you cold in that” implying all kinds of whorish things). Yet there are days where I could totally justify it! If the ground is dry and the sun is out and you are the kind of person who doesn’t care if their feet are a little open to the cool breeze, then why the hell not? I have made the resolution to stop neglecting my wedges this winter and get adventurous (even us short/stubby leg people can go strap happy when pairing with jeans)! Well… maybe when I get a pedicure (it’s not looking pretty right now)!

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Tees

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I love a good tee. For me, the requirements are that it must be juuuust baggy enough that it hides some muffin top (but not so baggy you end up looking bigger), a good quality fabric that can be washed forever because you love it so much, and those cute slightly rolled up sleeves. I pick greys, patterns and dark colours – the best for flattering a slightly bumpy mid section!

If they have cool (or funny or ironic or kitsch) stuff on them, I don’t mind either!

Bright scarves

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I often find myself wearing a lot of monochrome and neutrals in winter. It just seems easier, I guess. I like to brighten things up with a pop of colour around the neck! Scarves are great for keeping you warm, they hide the double chins, and they even disguise a bad hair day a bit! Yay!

Black puffer jacket

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I love my black puffer. It’s longer than the one pictured here, but it’s great. It will go over any casual outfit and offers an extra layer of much needed warmth! It’s so easy and comfy!

There are so many styles, shapes and prices – there’s one for everyone out there!

Now I want to go shopping more – oops haha.

How would you describe your winter style? What stuff are you wearing the hell out of?

 

disclaimer: All images originally found on Pinterest. I do not own any of these specific items (just items like them) and this post is not sponsored in any way. I am so not a fashion/style blogger.