Tag: social challenges

PSA: Not all ‘Asians’ look the same. You don’t know me!

So, I get recognised and remembered a lot. I know. You’re thinking I must be a big deal. People everywhere tell me they know me from somewhere.

“Oh,” I’ll say in an airy tone, “I get that all the time…”

But seriously. I do get it all the time.

And the reason is not that glamourous.

It’s because I’m…

ASIAN.

And a whole bunch of people seem to think ‘we’ all look the same. Yes. That.

I’m always probably related to someone. Or the SPITTING IMAGE of someone’s best friend (ahem – I think their Asian friend needs to get better friends who pay more attention to them). Or didn’t I come into the store the other day for that thing? Nope. Nope. Nope. Wasn’t me.

No. It was definitely you! You bought the thingy with the other thingies and we talked about stuff and things!  

Um. No it wasn’t. I didn’t do it. I have an alibi.

Pretty sure it was you. 

Nope.

Let’s agree to disagree. I’ll just stare at you like you’ve got it wrong until you feel uncomfortable and leave, OK? 

Um. OK.

Unless there’s some crazy doppelgänger of mine out there, I’d say it’s not just some crazy coincidence. Unlike that amazing Twinsters doco (you can find it on Netflix), which made me secretly fantasise that I did indeed have a twin I didn’t know about. How wild would that be???

Years ago, a mutual ‘friend’ confused me with another of my friends (who is also adopted from Korea but looks not much like me). We are still not impressed.

Did you know that Chinese people look different from Thai people, who look different from Japanese people, who look different from Indonesian people, who look different from Korean people (and that’s not even covering anywhere near all of the regions and countries)? Yes. That’s right. We are all different. And even then, our looks might not dictate our culture (as in my case as an adoptee). Also, just like ‘white/Western looking’ people, we are all as unique and as similar as anyone else – who would have thought.  ‘Asian’ is not a nationality, y’all!

I am not going to intimately understand the life of your Chinese sister in law. Or your Filipino aunty by marriage. Unless, you know, I’ve actually met them.

Yes, I am aware of the Gangnam Style dance, along with the rest of the Western world. No. I will not do it.

It can honestly be as simple as treating each person as an individual. Getting to know them. Seeing them for who they are (and listening when they tell us).  I think it’s simply ignorance that stops people from being able to get past the ‘they all look the same’ concept.

Expose yourselves to people of all different races and nationalities. Learn about all of the world’s cultures and show an interest in those who defy the stereotypes. Let people tell you about themselves and really listen. Your life will get way more awesome.

~ PSA Over ~

Peace out! ✌️

This video is seriously my life ?

Note to self: my struggles are a part of my story.

Excuse me, but I’m going to get a bit deep right now. The last month or so has been pretty tough, emotionally. BUT…I think I’ve faced those struggles for a reason. Because now I’m in warrior mode. And I’m OK with that.

It’s been a challenging couple of years dealing with secondary infertility. I have found myself feeling the pressure, physically – it’s my body that isn’t doing what it should. I have felt emotional pressure – pretending that I’m OK on days when I really am not. I have felt like I have not been participating in my life – through no real fault of my own.

On top of that, I’ve obviously had all the usual pressures of real adult life and parenting.

I’ve been saying things to myself about how I have no ‘life’ and have been feeling depressed about it.

But that’s the thing. How do I define ‘life’? I’ve been defining it as that thing I cannot have. I’ve been defining it as all the things I could have done if my situation was different.

If my situation was different, I’d be able to say yes to so many more social opportunities. If my situation was different, maybe some of my friendships would be thriving instead of barely even there. If my situation was different, I might be fitter and slimmer (you can work harder if you’re not afraid of rupturing something important at certain times – and if you’re feeling better you tend to not eat as many feelings). If my situation was different, I wouldn’t have to pretend I was OK at the school gate when I’m not (because it’s just too awkward if you answer “how has your day been?” with “not good – I’m super infertile today thanks”). I could do more drinking of wine. I could take better medications when I feel sick. I wouldn’t be sick as often. I might be a lighter, brighter person.

But my situation is not different. It is what it is.

And I am finally beginning to embrace that. I can’t spend my time yearning to be the old me. The me from before all of these struggles. I can’t spend my time in a futile fight to be her again.

I am learning to embrace and empower who I am now. The chick with the battle scars. The one who is still standing, despite all the shit she’s had to deal with. What’s with talking about myself in the third person?

I was too scared to join support groups online because I thought that would mean this shit defined me or that I might be obsessed. I didn’t want to be that person who got ‘crazy’. But one day I realised that I am crazy. Because that’s what this stuff does to you. No matter how much you try to not let your life revolve around it, the sheer volume of tests and results and effort that goes into trying to have a baby ensures that ‘positive distractions’ are merely that – distractions. May as well be crazy with women from all over the world who actually understand what I’m going through.

I was sad because I could feel my friendships changing. Some have thrived and others have faded. I have decided to stop scrambling to pretend to be the old me so that I can keep everything the same. I am going to do what I can, when I can, but not so I can stave off the fear of being left out or because I’m killing myself worrying about what others think of my flaky social abilities. I am going to do these things because they feel good (hopefully for all involved) and keep me mentally healthy. And when I can’t do them, I won’t beat myself up, because true friends will understand, will check in, rally around, and won’t judge me for it. I’m in this situation whether anybody likes it or not!

I’m going to choose the way I look at my battle scars. I am going to take my power back. I am even seriously considering my first ever tattoo! Something that symbolises my strength and my open heart. Something to look at when life gets tough. Because it is. A way to show the world that I have been through some shit but I’m fucking rad and kicking arse. Just like everyone else, I have a story and this is mine. I earned those scars and it’s what I make of them that matters. Not to mention how strangely appealing it seems to choose to have a whole bunch of needles in my skin that will create something beautiful, after spending so long being poked and stabbed for reasons that aren’t so beautiful. I am going to wear these scars (whether designed by an artist or a surgeon) without apology. Pretty or not.

So I present to you, the new me. She’s not better or worse than before. She’s just different. And both versions of herself were/are awesome in their own ways and had/have flaws like everybody else. Oops – more third person talk. I can’t help it.

One thing I am is stronger. I have dreams and plans and I have back up dreams and plans and I have back up plans for the back up plans. I am going to land somewhere awesome no matter what. Because life doesn’t always go to plan and I know that better than anyone. I think it makes me more compassionate. More real. More able to roll with the punches.

I still have my shit days. I will melt down and I will cry my eyes out. I will feel sad. I will feel frustrated – angry even. I will have to pretend I’m OK during small talk sometimes. I’ll get lonely. But I will use those tough moments as fuel for my fight. I will wear my struggles like a badge of honour and not a sign of a secret shame.

These struggles are not all of me. But they are a part of me. And trying to pretend they aren’t just makes me feel worse. And it’s taken me two years to realise this. To truly realise it. The old me is gone. There’s a bad ass mother who’s seen some shit standing in her place. And I’d better not forget it.

Endometriosis.

I want to have a little chat about endometriosis. Because I have just been diagnosed with it and, quite frankly, I am still learning about it. In some ways it’s a big relief to know I’m not just being a wuss each month – when I’m not leaving the house when it’s at its worst, and dreading my period like you would not believe. In other ways, it’s tough because it’s a relatively new problem to me (it seemed to get really inflamed a few months ago – going from a really small ‘not seen as a problem’ cyst to my current diagnosis) and I just want it to be gone.

So what the hell is it?

Here’s my most concise definition, gleaned from my basic internet research (i.e. Wikipedia – my old uni lecturers would not be happy haha)…

“Endometriosis is a disease in which tissue that normally grows inside the uterus grows outside it.”

Simple right? Apparently my main issue is the endometriosis in my left ovary.

Here are some of the symptoms I’m primarily dealing with…

  • Bad cramping both before and during menstruation.
  • Very heavy period – to the point where I can’t even comfortably leave home for a few days. Trust me, you don’t want to know.
  • Obviously it’s not helping with fertility (I feel like that’s an understatement).
  • Social and psychological effects. I’ve been a hermit recently, when I’ve had symptoms, and it does get you down. Also, talking about periods all the time is considered to be quite gross, so it’s a bit embarrassing. You don’t want to be all, “Sorry everyone – can’t make it to that thing because I’m BLEEDING EVERYWHERE.” Thank goodness I at least have a name for it now. I also feel really guilty because I often don’t know how well I’ll be until the day of an event, which makes me look like a big flake when I have to cancel at the last minute. I hate letting people down and I hate the fear I have of being excluded next time or not having people understand. I also suffer from a lot of mummy guilt because it can affect whether the Little Mister gets to do fun stuff with me or whether he gets stuck at home too. Another psychological issue is the pure dread I feel about getting my period. It weighs on my mind for at least half of my cycle because I know it will disrupt my life so much and it affects the choices I have to make and how I plan my work/ school mum/exercise routine/social life. I don’t like it taking up so much of my time, energy and brain space. It’s stressful – things feeling like they’re up in the air, pending more symptoms, when I know my period will be due on certain dates (although I’m grateful to have a fairly regular cycle).

As you can see, the psychological stuff is what I’m struggling with almost more than the physical stuff right now.

I am booked in to have laparoscopic surgery for it next month. I’m nervous, but I am starting to really come around to the idea, because I just want my life back. I am really hoping it will help me. At first, all I could think about was the fertility side of things, but right now I just want to feel better each month. I guess we’ll figure out the rest later. If I let my mind dwell on the setbacks, it’s not a good place to be. I’m trying to just take all of this one step at a time.

If you have any of these symptoms, don’t feel like you have to soldier on like it’s normal. I’m lucky I’ve been closely monitored, but if I wasn’t already having really regular check ups/scans, I probably would have been less kind to myself, thinking I was just not matching up to those girls in the tampon ads – the ones who can do kickboxing and go clubbing in white pants, even though they have their periods. It can be hard enough to do the shopping or turn up for work sometimes! I can’t give you medical advice, but do get things checked out if you feel like your period is ruling your life.

If you have a friend who has a similar diagnosis, please be kind and patient. She’s not just being a princess complaining about her period. It probably is everything she says it is. Every case might be a little different, so try not to compare her unfavourably with others. Try to find other ways to make her feel included, if she has to cancel on stuff or feels like she can’t commit, knowing her period is due. Don’t stop inviting her out. If she’s like me, she might be feeling insecure about being a lousy friend. Check in. We need to have more conversations about stuff like this and shake off the awkwardness.

Thank you so much for reading. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that I am better by the weekend – I have a super rad trip to Sydney coming up and I plan on enjoying it!

Have you ever had endometriosis? Just wanna vent about being a lady in general? I’m all ears/eyes x

What we’ve been up to lately.

“So…what have you been up to lately?”

Ugh! Every single time somebody asks me this question in person, I am stumped. I have no idea what to say and then I sound like the most lame stay at home mum in the world when I shrug and mumble, “Just boring stay at home mum stuff…”

Now if that doesn’t kill a conversation, I don’t know what will! And it has in the past. While the people who helped let it die probably just didn’t value my role as a parent full stop and prefer to speak about paid work, I know I need to take responsibility for selling myself a LOT better too!! Maybe I just psych myself out, thinking that no-one wants to hear about me and my kid (it’s this weird thing where we’re legally bound to hang out with each other a lot at this point so the topic is bound to come up). WTF? It’s my life. I’m proud of it and now I have to act like it. That is not to say that I am incapable of talking about other topics. I totally am! There are many sides to who I am.

To say I’ve been doing nothing interesting is crap. Things happen to me. I do things. I think about things. I plan things. I see people. I just blank out whenever someone asks. Like I completely forget anything even remotely kind of sort of interesting that has happened in the past million years. WHY IS THAT?!

So I’m considering doing a bit of a “catch up” post every month or so, where I tell you guys exactly what the hell I’ve been up to. Then when someone asks me, I’ll remember what I blogged and actually have something to say. It won’t always be scintillating stuff, but it’s STUFF. STUFF helps conversations to become interesting and gives people something to work with!

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So both my husband’s parents and my parents decided to go travelling (separately) at the same time recently! This meant that we had limited babysitting back up and a lot more time to have to make our own fun as a family. This was great, but also challenging! There were times when the Little Mister didn’t sleep at all, got scared of the dark and entered the Terrible Twos! What I would have given to call my mum for a heart to heart and some great advice (not so practical when she was living it up in Italy and Switzerland)!!! However, this period of time really did make me grow stronger. I had to keep myself busy during the week, knowing I couldn’t rely on a spontaneous catch up with my mum to help fill the time as a stay at home mum. It was a great challenge and I think I rose to it as best I could.

My husband and I are excited because we’ve purchased Jack Johnson tickets for our wedding anniversary later this year. We have greatly differing music tastes (Aussie hip hop makes my husband cringe and my lack of interest in Mumford and Sons or Kings of Leon just won’t change), but the one artist we both enjoy is Jack Johnson. We’ve seen him live at least a couple of times together (and I snuck in once more when he performed with Ben Harper) and our wedding dance song was Jack Johnson’s Better Together. 

We were a little late to get tickets (my husband was eligible for pre-sale tickets but we didn’t realise until too late), so we’re looking forward to sitting a mile back from the stage eating our way through an indulgent hamper that we ordered along with our tickets! Yes. To answer your questions, there is indeed a cheesecake in that hamper. And CHEESE just for the sake of being cheese. And wine. WINE.

I’ve lost weight, then gained it back. So I’m working on improving my health. Again. I’ve ordered a fitbit online which will help me to track calories burnt, figure out my sleep patterns and count my steps etc. I’m so excited it’s not funny. The fitbit is on back order and I’m trying not to think about it too much in case I die of impatience. I think this will give me the motivation I need to really take things up a notch.

I recently caught up with a couple of amazing high school friends. We’ve seen each other separately over the years since we left school, but the three of us had not been in the same room at the same time in at least 13 years! It was a hell of a reunion and we really hit it off (as usual). It was a great night and reminded me of the bond we’d all had back in the day. It’s still there, even though we can’t always catch up regularly. I’ve really enjoyed strengthening my friendship connections recently and it’s been so nice to escape every now and then for dinner with some girlfriends.

We’re going camping again next year and we’re looking forward to planning the trip and we’ve got some ideas up our sleeves that I will have to reveal later 😉

This last weekend we got a bit excited because we’re old and boring there was news that a dam about an hour’s drive from our hometown had overflown for the first time in years.

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Thrilling stuff! I spent most of the time worrying that the Little Mister would try to dive over the safety rails at the viewing platform, so that was a nice thing to do on a Sunday! As much as I laugh at what we find interesting these days, I am enjoying the ability to find things like this to do on a quiet weekend. I like getting out and about as a family and showing the Little Mister new things. It’s something I’m really taking pleasure in as he gets older. It’s also great to escape the craziness and just spend quality time as a little family. It doesn’t have to cost anything to do these things – even better!

I’ve had some pretty annoying writer’s block the last week or so, but I’m enjoying having my blog as my little creative outlet. I’ve also enjoyed the excuse to go shopping for some summer clothes for the Little Mister as the weather slowly gets better!

So, that’s what I’ve been up to. How about you? x

Note to self: Read this when overwhelmed.

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I really think that being overwhelmed is one of those things that comes with adulthood. Actually, it starts much earlier than that for a lot of us…I guess we become much more aware of it with the responsibilities that trying to be a fully functioning adult can carry. I feel overwhelmed at least once a week fortnight month and each time I am trying to learn how to better deal with it. You may know the feeling – too many tasks to complete, not enough time. Too many people asking things of you, not enough of you to go around. Feeling like you’re super busy all the time getting nothing done. You know when you’re an anxiety ridden mess and you start feeling all snappy, emotionally eating, then bawling when a new task inevitably gets added to your to-do list, sending you over the edge? Just me? Surely not just me 😉

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to navigate through these feelings and I have narrowed it all down to five ways to beat that freaked out, overwhelmed feeling – before it impacts on your mental health and your relationships.

These are (hopefully) not those cheesy things you read all the time, but they come straight from my brain and my own experience. These actually work for me.

Stop being such a bitch…to yourself

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Seriously. Would you take that kind of talk from someone else?? I bloody hope not! When we feel like we can’t do everything on the timeline we hoped for, when we feel like we’re not being everything to everyone no matter how hard we try, when we feel like everyone can see that we’re so obviously not in control, we can resort to self defeating trash talk.

It’s horrible when you start telling yourself, “Everyone will know you’re failing. Look at you, you’re a mess of a person. You’re not capable of being a normal human being. You’re so pathetic. You can’t even get this much done. Everyone else can do it. What a wuss. This will never get done. It’s impossible. You should just give up now. This is too hard. There’s too much. You’re such a crap friend/family member/employee/house keeper/pet owner/parent/any other hat you wear in life.”

Would you let your best friend/child/family members be treated like that? Again, I bloody hope not! So why are you doing it to yourself?

It’s time to think positive. You may not feel positive and that’s OK (you’ll get there), but you need to remember to be kind to yourself. Be your own best motivational speaker. No-one feels inspired when they’re beaten down with harsh words all the time. It’s emotional abuse! Why is it any different when you’re speaking to yourself? Remind yourself that you’re only one person, you’re human and you can’t be responsible for the things you can’t control. It’s OK to only achieve things at a human standard/pace – no need to be a superhero. The people who count will understand that you’re doing all you can. Shock horror, they might even be proud of you just for giving things a go!

Remind yourself of the context of your situation. Maybe you’ve been through a rough/insanely busy time. Maybe you should cut yourself some slack. Maybe when you count out the (wo)man hours you actually had to get a million things done, you’ll realise it would be physically impossible to achieve the things you’ve expected of yourself. Maybe you’ll see that you’ve done the best you can and you should be proud of your efforts. Maybe the things you haven’t got done now are great goals for the near future, not just a list of failures.

Celebrate your achievements – no matter how seemingly small they might be. Don’t forget self care. You need to fuel yourself with positivity so you have the energy to keep going.

Don’t compare yourself to others

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This is something that has taken me almost all of my 29 years as a human to understand. It’s one thing to choose an inspiring person to keep your spirits lifted (“If this person can do it then I can learn from what they’re getting right and I can do it too!”), but it’s another to say, “BUT EVERYONE ELSE HAS A CLEANER HOUSE/BETTER FINANCES/BIGGER SOCIAL LIFE/BETTER ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS/15 CHILDREN AND THEY CAN ALL DO IT ALL BETTER THAN ME.”

You don’t know every person’s story. You don’t know what their lives are like behind closed doors. You don’t know what they’ve sacrificed in order to achieve what they appear to have achieved. They’re not perfect, just like you. I am sure there are the rare ‘almost perfect’ people who really have it all out there, but what are the odds that everyone but you is one of them??

Letting yourself feel inferior based on someone else’s (perceived) successes is only going to hurt one person. You. And like I said earlier, why are you being so mean to yourself???

Just remember that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have. Other people have differently distributed time, energy and resources. You’re just working with what you have. You know how we tell our kids, “As long as you are trying your very best, I am proud of you”?

Let’s take that advice for ourselves!

If you feel like you know you’ve slacked off in certain areas (speaking from experience of course), that’s something you can address – but stay positive! We’re all learning and improving all the time. It’s never too late to try a new approach! x

Focus on what you CAN do, not what you CAN’T do

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It’s always so tempting to focus on the things we’re not getting done. Oh my gosh, I still have THIS, THIS, AND THIS TO DO!!! AND WHAT ABOUT THIS?!!! It’s not possible!! I still have to do this, this this and this before I can do all of those other things I just mentioned!!

Something’s holding you up? Something out of your control is stopping you from achieving something else? Don’t sweat it! It’s not possible right now anyway! Break it all down and think about what you CAN do. Chip away at things. Finding one task really daunting and don’t feel ready to tackle it? Pick out the parts you do feel more confident about – do what you know and the rest will follow. I used to take this approach when I had university assignments coming out of the wazoo. Can’t write this essay from the beginning to end – stuck on the first argument? Get writing – blab on about the things you do know, the things you do want to say. Then research can back it up, a bit of editing…and hey presto, the rest doesn’t seem so horrifying after all. For me it was about not letting the fear of saying the wrong thing (or of failing) get so overwhelming that I couldn’t start.

I think a lot of it was about building confidence.

The same could be said for big jobs around your home (can’t paint that hideous rendering yet but you can go to the hardware store and look at colours), your parenting (not ready for that big change but you can take baby steps in preparation – excuse the pun) or your social commitments (can’t attend the 15 things people have planned then streamline down to the easiest or most important events to attend). Do what you CAN. Let go of what you can’t. Be realistic and confident in your decisions. Remember what I said about being kind to yourself when you can’t do it all at once.

It’s the same with anything. There’s always something you CAN do. Something to nibble away at bit by bit. Channel the energy you would use lamenting at what cannot be done right then and there into what you CAN do right then and there.

Just start SOMEWHERE. The rest will follow.

Communicate communicate communicate! 

Ever felt like you have to handle everything on your own because you think it will prove you to be a stronger person? Bottled up those scary overwhelming stressful feelings and then accidentally unleashed on someone close to you or had a meltdown that has everyone worried? Yeah…I’ve learnt the hard way throughout my life that this isn’t really so healthy.

If your partner (or anyone really) notices that you are tense and asks what’s up, don’t say, “Nothing. It’s fine. I can handle it. Just some stuff. I’ll get over it.” and then proceed to stew away in your own anxious juices.

Open up. Tell someone what’s worrying you. Maybe even ask for help. Admit to the crappy feelings you’re experiencing. Hear their encouraging words (if they are not using supportive language – find someone who will). Let them help you out – even if it’s just having someone listen to you. Maybe once you say it all out loud, you’ll realise it had just got massive in your own head (this happens to me all the time). Maybe it’s time to bring this mountain back down to a nice molehill size again. Maybe your go-to person knows exactly how you feel – maybe they feel the same. Share the burden and maybe this communication will help to bring you closer. It might certainly pre-empt a stupid frustration filled argument or unpredictable eruption of feelings later – that can only be a good thing.

Prioritise and organise! 

When I feel stressed out, I start writing notes in my daily planning diary like a mad person. All of those scary dates and times and invitations swimming in my head are just going to make me feel crazy and out of control if I don’t! I then take everything day by day, safe in the knowledge that what I need to know or do for that day is written down safely in my diary – there’s no need to read fifteen days ahead and scare myself. Just concentrate on one day at a time.

It’s amazing how things get less scary when you’ve organised them somewhere.

Sometimes when you’re stressed and overwhelmed, you need to prioritise. Put the most important things at the top of the list and don’t stress if the not so important things have to wait a while. If it ALL seems super important, then perhaps the chronological one day at a time organisation I mentioned above will help.

Sometimes you need to streamline. You can feel bad sometimes when you have to say no to stuff, but if you are struggling and you are in survival mode, maybe it will really help to let yourself off the hook a little bit. Just for a little while. The people who count for something in your life will understand. You can only do so much. Sometimes it truly is physically impossible to do everything. I’d rather do a few things well, than a hundred things half arsed. I think the people in my life would prefer me that way too.

And here’s one final thought…

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Seriously. Why do we all do this? Ask yourself. Are you busy for the sake of being busy? What would happen if we all just slowed down and said no every now and then? If the only reason we’re busy is so we can tell other people we’re so busy, then it’s time to reassess. Life could be so much calmer and we could be so much more content living in the moment. It’s really hard because we’ve been socialised to believe that ‘busy’ is best. It’s like a competition about who can seem the busiest or the most stressed out. I’m trying to take this off the table. Who knows how much time and energy I can save in my life? 🙂

Facebook: I love it but sometimes I don’t.

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Facebook. It’s just this little social networking site. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it?

It’s a place where your worlds collide. You can see into the lives of almost everyone you’ve ever (or even ‘never’) met, on a daily (or several times daily – let’s be honest) basis. This can be fun. It can be voyeuristic in the kind of way where someone has actually invited you to stalk them so it kind of makes it OK.

Used wisely, it is a great way to connect with people instantaneously and to share your lives with those who may not always be geographically close to you.

I recently read a news story about increased frequency of Facebook use, being associated with declines in wellbeing. Now I could use all my university educated research skills to analyse this study to bits, but I’m just going to wear my unqualified blogger hat and talk just about my own personal experience. In my personal experience (which may differ from other peoples’), this study is probably onto something.

I love Facebook as much as I loathe it. I use a few different social media platforms, but only Facebook seems to leave me feeling empty, sad and inadequate if I’m in the wrong mood at the wrong time. Sometimes I see the perfect pictures, the happy statuses, the numerous wedding/baby/travel/drunk night out related news feed items, the mushy, gushy ‘get me a bucket stat’ lovers, the people who you know are faking it (the worst ones), the events I can never click on to say I’m “going”. Depending on what is going on in my life (or my brain) at a given time, it can make me feel like crap.

It’s not so much Facebook itself. It’s me as an individual not knowing when to turn my brain off. Not remembering that before Facebook, I had a whole entire life to worry (or not worry) about already. I need to remind myself to take a break. Stop staring at other people’s lives. Sort out my own. Not give a crap what other people are doing – just be happy with what I have (and if I’m not happy to stop comparing myself to others at the very least). I need to remember that Facebook provides a highlight reel of people’s lives. It’s not everything. It’s what we choose to share.

On a bad day, I sit there feeling left out of stuff. I sit there (usually on the couch in my trackie dacks) feeling guilty for not connecting more – in real life. I feel jealous of others (which is very unlike the normal me and is not very becoming). I am reminded of those people who I wished I had the courage to ‘hide’ or unfriend, because I know they don’t make me feel good all the time with their drama llama tendencies or superiority complexes.

I have learnt that it’s best to just switch it off. We’ve brainwashed ourselves into thinking that we must check Facebook ALL THE TIME OR WE MIGHT MISS OUT. Heard of FOMO? It’s the Fear of Missing Out. I feel like we’ve got it bad.

It’s liberating when I realise that it’s OK to skip a day, a weekend, any amount of time. What did we do before mobile phones and mobile internet? We had to wait until we could find a computer (or ask our parents if we could dial up haha). We had to wait until the end of a busy day to check our landline voicemail. We weren’t all available 24/7. We weren’t often communicating with those in different time zones throughout the day and night, unless something important was actually happening. And when I say important, I don’t mean the latest gossip on a website (which I secretly love) or to just say a bunch of “LOL”s about a bunch of cat memes and funny animal photos  (which I also kind of like doing).

Everyone expects to be in touch with everyone instantly. Wait a day for a reply on a private Facebook message? AGONY. I feel embarrassed just typing that! Get mad at that friend who doesn’t reply to your witty wall comment within the week/wonder if they even like you after all? Posting a new photo and feeling lonely because no-one ‘liked’ it within the first half hour? Get a push notification on our phones and feel the pain of not being able to check it out right away? Ridiculous, yet I doubt many of us can honestly plead ‘not guilty’ on all charges. Don’t even get me started on ‘phubbing’.

A break from Facebook (when needed) never fails to make me feel better when I’ve been feeling down. Everyone can wait five minutes or five days. Facebook is useful and convenient, but it isn’t everything.  There are usually other ways to be contacted if something’s very important.

Sometimes it’s just easy to lose perspective. And also? I find that sometimes, less is more. If I save my most interesting/important statuses for the right moments, only upload the best photos (instead of 50 blurry photos a day every day), people tend to take more notice. It’s not our presence on Facebook that matters most, it’s the quality of our interactions.

Facebook shouldn’t define how we think about our friendships, our own self worth and our life stories. Facebook is a bunch of selected snapshots in time of our lives. It should enhance life, not take away from it.

I know that my personal Facebook profile is probably full of the good/funny times. Maybe I’ve unintentionally annoyed people because of this. Maybe (not having tickets on myself AT ALL) I’ve made someone feel inadequate before. I mean, I really hope not…but odds are if my Facebook friends who are also every day people can make me feel that way (not their faults at all usually – just my insecurities playing up sometimes), it is a possibility. However, I like being real. I might tend to show the highlights on Facebook, but I try to be honest and not give an inaccurate version of my life. I love my blog’s Facebook page, Twitter and my actual blog (yes – this one right here!) because they keep me real. I enjoy showing you my stupid moments and my parenting flaws – it’s strangely therapeutic! You only have to follow me on all the different sites to see all the different facets of my life (hint hint haha). Also, there are some parts of my life that you will only get to know in real life, because they’re private and personal. Remember when things were private and personal?

So let’s check our feelings when we’re perusing our newsfeeds. Let’s decide when we’ve had information overload. Let’s not feel obligated to know everything as it happens, minute by minute. Let’s switch off when we notice our mood dip. That’s what Twitter is for! Kidding! Not really. 😛

How do you feel about Facebook?

 

Breathe. It’s a new week.

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I usually find that there is a time of year when everything just explodes and life gets super crazy. Birthday season never ends, wedding seasons tend to flourish and baby showers abound. There are football finals, spring in the air, which somehow turns to summer when no-one’s looking. Then, roll on Christmas, New Year and the usual holiday shenanigans (now new and improved with child). So…basically, our crazy season goes from somewhere in August, to…oh, February the following year.

At least that’s how it’s felt the last few years.

Each weekend becomes chock full with commitments. Each week day carries a pressure to meet some kind of deadline/appointment etc with everything having to run as smoothly and efficiently as possible. Spare time is a precious commodity. Mental space is limited.

I admit that I get overwhelmed. I can’t say yes to everything. I can’t be the perfect friend/family member. I never know the balance between self care and selfishness (obviously wanting to lean much further towards the latter). I feel stretched thin.

I am constantly dealing with seemingly random dates just stretching out in front of me, swimming in my brain and popping up in the wee hours when I should be asleep. I try to keep all of these dates safe in my daily planning diary, but it never feels like I have remembered everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of socialite. I’m not Miss Popular (seriously, dudes – c’mon it’s me). I just seem to have a diverse range of (select) social circles and family commitments. I need to find ways to keep myself energised, motivated and financially not freaking out. I need to feel OK with what I can do and not kill myself with guilt over what I can’t do.

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I need to be organised and positive. I need to take things one step at a time and not become overwhelmed by the marathon ahead of me. In fact, I need to maybe think of it not as a gruelling marathon, but more of a rewarding challenge (some may think that’s what a marathon is, but you are all probably more fit than me). It will be what I make of it, right?

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I really hope I do all of these things as a friend. Of course there are always areas I can improve (please don’t all volunteer your suggestions all at once!), but I hope that despite the fact that I can’t be there for everything, always, that my friends know I care about them and want them in my life. I’ve had a crazy few years and while I can’t always talk about quite personal things that have taken my time and energy, I hope one day people will understand.

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I need to remember that there’s not much point going crazy over all the things I need to do between now…and next February (conservative estimate haha). I need to just let it sit how it is and work through the list bit by bit. Stress is a choice. I need to remember to choose ‘calm’ and let things be what they are. They’re not going anywhere. I’ve got this…right?

What’s on your mind this week?

 

The (not really) Yummy Mummy’s Guide to Preparing for a Big Night Out.

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…results not guaranteed.

When preparing for a girls’ night out, a mummy must start planning months in advance. Not kidding. If you’ve got other friends who are mummies then you need to maybe just make it a year in advance. Then tell your husbands/partners/parents/in laws to Lock. That. Sh*t. Down. It’s going in the diary and you WILL have babysitters. ALL of you. Determination is the key.

Give yourself ridiculous amounts of time to become human again. Save money for a dress/outfit far in advance with the financial planning precision you would use to save a deposit for a house or something equally as life changing (tip: your outfit shouldn’t actually cost the same as a house deposit or I might need to give you better advice). Book a hair appointment. Let’s face it, girl. Your hair is a mess. Is that a toddler’s meal I see in there?? Again, things like outfit shopping and hair appointments involve having a small amount of time away from your precious bundle/s of joy. Book these further in advance than you booked similar services/shopping trips when you planned your wedding (or that of a friend’s should you not have had the urge to tie the knot yet).

Life changing.

On the day:

Before…

Paint your nails frantically while your toddler cries from behind a safety gate and your co-parent figure tries desperately in vain to pull them away. It’s a nice, peaceful activity for you to indulge in and the sound of a sad, guilt inducing child really enhances the experience. Nothing like taking some time to pamper yourself.  When you inevitably smudge your nails, trying to be everything to everyone, just put some glitter over that sh*t.

Remember at the 11th hour that your eyebrows look like little hedgehogs saying hello to each other on your face (seriously – one of them is literally waving to the other overweight one). Break out the tweezers and in a desperate rush, almost take an eye out. It keeps the excitement alive because in all honesty, you feel like collapsing in bed for a very long sleep. Like a Sleeping Beauty/Snow White kind of epic sleep.

When blow drying your hair, you must also pretend to blow dry your toddler’s hair. You won’t be able to finish the job because your toddler will start raiding the bathroom cupboard and trying to climb into the bath. Never mind. You still have straightening and a plethora of hair products to get to. Also, your toddler now looks AMAZING.

Put your dress on last. Seriously. LAST MINUTE. Must avoid toddler snacks, drool, the pulling and tearing of fabric. Who cares if you’re running around the house with your boobs hanging out of your dressing gown, while the family stares on, because you’ve misplaced the sash for it?

When leaving the house, say “bye bye” to your child while they cry and repeatedly mention the car…because they want to get in it and ride around with you and never be abandoned by you ever ever again. Never. Brush off the guilt and turn up the car stereo so you can’t hear the crying. Aargh.

Sing along to your favourite songs (the ones with rude words in them) really loudly in the car. You’ve reached a stage in life where you just don’t give a damn what people think. You’re a mummy. On a mission. Also, you’re trying not to cry because you have so many feelings. SO MANY. You’re alone in a car, you just left your child behind so you could booze it up, you are going to see your friends, you’re exhausted on a whole new level you didn’t realise existed. The little hook on the zip of your dress digs in a bit.

During…

Arrive at your friend’s house for pre-drinks. Pour yourself a vodka and soda water, because it’s “healthy” (bahaha!) and then drink a couple of shots, exclaiming loudly about how strong they are. It will make you feel like you’re being really wild and not a light weight at all, because at home you get drunk off one standard glass of wine, before passing out on the couch at 8pm.

Hug everyone and squeal. It’s a girl thing.

When the bus (yes – party mini van – woo – not to be confused with a mummy’s people mover) arrives, jump in and warn the driver about your loudness. Take selfies while inexpertly trying to figure out how to use the flash on an iPhone, sing along to rude songs and secretly feel satisfied that you are much more fun than the boys are when they hire the party mini van (who do you think recommended the service?)!

Talk about your child for a little while at dinner, but then have a couple of cocktails and start saying much more inappropriate things that involve scoring things from 1-10 and generally hypothesising about the kinds of things you might see in those awful men’s magazines.

The drinking must slow down eventually, because you plan on (legally) driving home from your friend’s place later in the night. You want that damn sleep in – in your own bed! Also? Your friends are that hilarious that you don’t need an alcoholic buzz – seriously.

Visit somewhere that proper ladies (especially the married with kids types) should never enter. What happens on girls’ night, stays on girls’ night. Kind of.

Head to the casino. Wait in line for the night club. Don’t worry. Times have changed. You have to show your ID, have your face scanned by facial recognition software and still remember to pay the dude at the desk a cover charge. It’s like waiting in customs at the international airport. Note that the dress code mentions you can wear 3/4 pants on Sundays. Damn. It’s Sunday and I left my mummy pants at home. Hear that?! I left my mummy pants AT HOME! I’m in a party dress! Let’s goooooo!!!

When leaving the night club, “Beyoncé and Jay-Z” (verb) the f*ck out of there with two of your girlfriends. Someone must sing back up vocals, someone must be Beyoncé and another must rap like a motherf*cking Jay-Z. ALL the way out of the club and down the stairs. You can’t sing high notes. But you try anyway. You are glorious. Again. You get to a stage where you just don’t care. People might look, but you’re not sippin’ on that Haterade.

Complain your feet hurt because you don’t wear heels anymore. Buy MacDonalds.

After…

Eat your cheeseburger in the bus while your seat buddy changes completely into a onesie and pulls a sleeping bag over her (from her massive overnight bag). Look to the left. Your other friend has her dressing gown on. Eventually, everyone falls asleep. Yeah…

Wish you brought a onesie.

Drive a couple of friends home in your family car. You don’t want them to die walking home. Now that you’re older and wiser, you really start to care about that stuff.

Get home. Park outside the garage because the door clunking up and down might wake your child. Tiptoe into the house to hear nothing but silence. By now you’re wearing flat shoes, of course. Relish the feeling of unzipping your rather tight dress (thanks a lot, cheeseburger). Climb into bed with a full face of make up and overly styled hair.

Wake at 7am on the dot, despite being allowed a sleep in. Turns out your body clock doesn’t know you weren’t a mummy last night.

ZOMBIE.

Any questions?? 

Find me on Facebook x 

Things that make me uncomfortable.

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A lot of things make me uncomfortable. Budget airline seating. Running. Too much ice cream. Holding the not so Little Mister in one arm for five minutes while trying to pay for something at the shops. Anybody else’s pillows except for mine. Kneeling beside the bath each evening, trying to be close enough to make sure the Little Mister doesn’t fall over and sustain an injury (or overdose on the consumption of a random bubble bath brand that you found in the cupboard because he ran out of his normal type and you couldn’t be effed going to the shops that day – parenting fail win).

I mean, those are the physical things.

But what about my social foibles?

Small talk in the supermarket/doctors’ surgery/anywhere.

I suck at it. I’m not talking about small talk at parties, bars or places you go to socialise and stay a while. I’m talking about the places you go in your every day life. The places where you have a task to complete, before moving on. Don’t get me wrong, nine times out of ten I really do like running into nice people that I know. I just don’t know how long to talk for and when to exit the conversation politely (or how)! It’s like you say, “Hi! How are you today? Yes, the Little Mister has grown and yes he is cute. What have you been up to? Oh, not much? Just working and stuff? OK, good to see you…um…”

I know I’m not the only one. Almost all of my conversational colleagues display a similar awkwardness. Maybe there needs to be some universal code/signal where everyone bows out gracefully at some kind of socially pre-approved moment. So no-one has to do the…”Well, I’ll um…let you get back to your shopping…” or the, “Well, I had better keep moving, I suppose…” thing. No matter how nicely put that is, it never feels entirely comfortable. Am I right or am I right?

It’s particularly uncomfortable when you keep running into the exact same person at the supermarket every time. Do you say something? Do you not say anything, just smile or wave? AWKWARD. Just awkward.

Walking onto an aircraft with a small child.

As you look for your seats, you can feel eye balls on you. Just following your every move. Are they going to sit near my seat? Are they not? Oh, phew/dammit they are/not. Suddenly, you’ve become the enemy of air travel society. Public enemy number one. You know this, but you’re trying to act all nonchalant as you panic on the inside. WHAT IF THEY’RE RIGHT? WHAT IF MY CHILD IS AN AWFUL LITTLE CRETIN? PLEASE DON’T BE A LITTLE CRETIN TODAY!! You sit there tense, until the plane takes off. The only relief you get is when there is a child fifteen rows up who is much much worse than your own. You feel the spotlight shift and you start counting down the hours and minutes until you land.

Speaking up when there’s something wrong with my food.

Having worked in customer service for a number of years (you name it I’ve done it – well not anything illegal or…sexy but you get what I mean), I know what it’s like to have b*tch customer after b*tch customer. Some have valid complaints, and others…well, there’s a special place in hell for those people (they are the same people who write weekly complaint letters to the local papers). While I realise the avocado in my pasta dish is brown and the prawns seem a little…off…I will still say, “Yeah, no problems here. Thanks!” when asked if my meal is alright by the waitstaff. Yep. I’ll risk food poisoning in order to be the nice customer. Idiot.

Driving the Little Mister to his immunisation appointments. 

For some reason these appointments always end up being in the late morning. That gives just enough time for the Little Mister and I to go through the normal motions of life at home, before I have to bundle him up and into the car for our ride to DOOM. It’s not really doom. It’s a few little jabs in the arms/legs which could ultimately save his life and the lives of all others in the first world, but at the time I feel so much dread. Will he cry lots? Will I then want to cry lots? How many heartbreaking days/nights of grumpy, irritable, feverish side effects are we both in for? Why does he always seem to be extra well behaved, affectionate and cheerful and smart RIGHT BEFORE HIS NEEDLES? It makes it seem all the more cruel. I get that whole, “Why am I stressing? It’s just his needles. Can he tell I’m stressing? Stop stressing!” mindset. I know. It’s dumb. But I find it very uncomfortable.

Public transport. 

WHERE DO I PUT MY EYES?? WHY IS THAT GUY LOOKING AT ME??

Thinking too much in hotel rooms. 

I don’t mind a nice getaway in a reputable hotel. A great treat. A touch of romance? An escape from the housework and routine at home? Celebration of an anniversary, maybe? Room service and pay TV, anyone?

It’s only when I think about it too much that I get very uncomfortable very quickly. I used to watch a lot of CSI. I’ve seen all those episodes where they spray that stuff on everything and then shine one of those blue light things on the bed and the toilet. All the human bodily fluids lighting up like a pretty neon artwork. I start wondering how many people have stayed here before me. Whether the sheets have been washed properly. Did the cleaners change the blankets out? What is that white, crusty stain on the chair in the corner? God, I hope it’s yoghurt. Do you spell it yogurt or yoghurt? Oops. Got distracted…

OMFG SOMEONE HAD SEX IN THIS HOTEL ROOM BEFORE I GOT HERE.

Well, duh. But still. Makes me uncomfortable. Don’t even talk about how I feel about the spa tub or the occasional pubic hair found between sheets or on the carpet.

AAAARGH!!!!!

People complimenting me on my dodgy DIY manicures.

I can’t often afford to get my nails done professionally. I also like Pinterest. I guess you can see how those two factors fit together. I try different things all the time (usually as a little Friday night pick me up), before showing my husband and having him give the “Is this a trap?” face when I ask if he likes my nails. I admit, it’s pretty hit and miss, but it’s fun to do.

People often notice my *ahem* unique nail designs and say, “Oh wow. I love your nails.”

I then awkwardly try to hide them and mutter, “Thanks…I was just messing about…”

I get scared people will look too closely and discover just how bad they are. Inconsistently placed nail art. Chipped polish. Amateurish shaping of my nails. Eek!

Uncomfortable.

Having tradies working at my house.

I never know the etiquette. Do I offer them a drink? Am I supposed to make small talk? Do I leave them to it? Is it OK to disappear into another room – what if they need to ask me something? Do I act natural? Of course I realise that they (hopefully) have better things to do than analyse what I’m doing, but nonetheless I feel awkward. If I go about my domestic duties, I feel weird. If I don’t and I’m just on the computer or have the TV on, I feel like they think I do nothing all day, every day. I have no idea how to act. What if they ask me a question and I don’t know the answer? What if there’s a chance I’ll say the wrong thing and then everything goes all pear shaped? What if I don’t notice they’re doing a bad job until it’s too late and they’ve gone home?

Maybe it’s just the idea of letting strangers onto my property or something. Gets me all weird. I am just not that cool.

That moment I click “pay now” on an online purchase. 

The discomfort only lasts for a few short minutes, but immediately upon committing to an online transaction, I feel this crazy rush of adrenaline and freak out. I think I’m still a kid inside. The kid who shouldn’t be allowed to use a credit card or make decisions on the internet. I feel like I’ve done something naughty and OH MY GOD, WHAT IF I REGRET THIS?

I probably need therapy or something.

Chill out, lady. It’s just a book or something. Hmm. Better make that a self help book. Sigh.

When everyone wants to share their meals in a social situation. But I don’t.

Because I am a hungry, greedy woman who DOES NOT WANT TO SHARE, BUT CAN’T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE THAT’S SELFISH. I am a horrible person.

Please tell me I’m not alone…or let me know where I can get help haha.

This post was a part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge.



For one night only.

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So last week I was having some weird moments. I was just mentally…struggling? I don’t know if that’s the right term, but all I know is that I was not my best Kez. I had perhaps a little dose of PMS (yep), my husband was away for a week, I had a lot of sh*t going on in my brain (it was still trying to process the whole previous year month) and I felt like I’d lost my mojo. I was letting all of my insecurities play out in my mind (usually in the mid afternoon when I felt the most bored/drained of energy). Fears of not being the best parent I could be, fears of rejection/being invisible to the world, worrying, worrying and more worrying. I was not eating as well as I had been the months previous (I lost 2.5 kilos by being a good girl) and due to my coccyx being quite badly bruised, I hadn’t been able to get my exercise endorphin hit.

On one particularly rough day/s (my Twitter followers will know exactly which few one because I became some kind of emo annoyance), I checked Facebook (after spending all day being the aforementioned annoyance via tweets) and I saw how wonderful everyone’s social lives appeared to be. I saw how amazing everyone looked (we all show our best sides on Facebook, right?) and I couldn’t take it anymore.

So I did it. At times I felt a little lost. I am embarrassed to say that at one point, I wished to tweet: Have turned off Twitter for the night. Feeling a little lost without it.

Yuh.

Don’t worry. I stopped myself.

We get so used to broadcasting our every thought to every person that nothing is sacred anymore. Now, I’m not really totally against that – how could I be? All you have to do is read back over my timeline to know that I have no right to be a hypocrite about it now! However, occasionally it’s probably a good thing to go old school. Back when you had to actually talk to someone about your feelings. Someone you know. In real life. You had to spend time without all the constant ‘noise’ in your head from seeing every person’s every move ever online. You had time and mental space to actually sort your sh*t out and to think straight. Time to think straight is a commodity for a parent in general as it is!

As I sat at my (new and shiny birthday) laptop, my iPhone nearby, I suddenly realised why there are crazy experiments on current affairs shows all the time where families spend a whole week without technology in order to become more creative, interactive, peaceful people. I wouldn’t go to that extreme, but I kind of get it.

While I had to almost slap myself on the hand to prevent myself from tapping the Facebook icon on my phone or tweeting all my opinions on all things that ever existed on Twitter, I stuck to my guns for a whole evening. And it felt good. I caught up on some TV. I read some inspiring blogs. My thoughts became more positive when I wasn’t secretly (in my mind) snarking about somebody and their posts on Facebook. I didn’t have up to the minute ‘news’ on Twitter to get my knickers in a twist about – politics, human rights, misinformation pertaining to recent terror attacks around the world. Nothing was in “real” time. I was on Kez time. Living Kez moments. Sure, they weren’t the most scintillating moments, but they were mine. Nobody else’s lives injected themselves into my peaceful evening. I didn’t have momentary commentary to react to RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

I found myself wanting to blog, not dreading it. Not overthinking it.

I began to wonder if I could actually go without it for another day. And then maybe another? What stuff could I get done without the constant ‘noise’ in my brain? What awesome things could I think of next? What if I only used the internet for ‘useful’ things – things I wanted to know? Not things that popped up every second in my newsfeeds and timelines, whether I liked it or not? What if I could be in control, just for a little while?

Maybe I’d actually find those healthy recipes I’d been thinking about (and then actually cook them, toddler permitting)? What if I blogged about MY thoughts? Thoughts I might not have had if I’d been busy ‘liking’ everyone’s cute baby photos/duck faces the minute they were posted? What if I kept some special memories just to myself and my little family? That funny thing the Little Mister did, the milestone we all reached together. What if I felt no obligation to just ‘check in’ so that everyone knew what was going on? Who says they wouldn’t find out if they needed to?

I think social media is a wonderful and valuable tool. It connects people to other awesome people they might not have known existed. It keeps people in touch in the easiest, most immediate ways when time and distance can separate them. It is there when you need support (especially as a new parent) and it can even be responsible for positive societal change – people can unite from all around the world to champion a fantastic cause.

Yep. It has its downsides too. There are probably too many to list once you mention the fact that it can be abused. But that’s for another blog post. I am 29 now, not 19. I should be mature enough to do the best thing for myself when I’m feeling down/flat/lonely. And last week it was to switch off the social media sites and to listen to myself.

That afternoon (before the Little Mister was in bed), I picked up the phone and called my mum for a heart to heart. I snuggled with the Little Mister whose fledgling wicked sense of humour and unabashed displays of affection light up my life. I wasn’t distracted by the flash, flash, flash of my phone as notifications rolled in. I zoned out and it felt good. Who hasn’t earnt that after a long hard day? OK, so I retweeted a couple of things…but I was a good girl once the evening rolled around. As I lay in bed, my overwhelming problems turned into achievable goals and solutions. I taught myself new things – things I’d felt held back by because I didn’t know how to do them. I stopped holding my breath, feeling that anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

I didn’t miss it! I didn’t miss the viral posts about how 1000, 000 likes were required to cure some rare disease. I didn’t miss the photos and the status updates as people advertised the best sides of themselves. I didn’t miss the latest celebrity gossip. I didn’t miss that feeling of insecurity that crept up when I didn’t get any ‘likes’ or felt like everyone was having a great time but me.

The next day I felt differently about social media. I realised that I need to be in control of it, not the other way around. It was up to me when I logged in and why. From now on, when I’m feeling blue or insecure, I’m going to switch off. Without feeling weird or …guilty. I’m sure a Facebook message can wait another day for a reply. I don’t have to be switched on 24/7. Who made that rule, anyway (don’t get me started)?

I’m going to slow down and live in the moment. At least as much as I can. Every now and then, at least. Maybe. Look, I’ll just try to be marginally less irritating. I suppose. Kind of. Y’know…

Oh, look at me being all non committal for fear of being a massive hypocritical liar…

In all seriousness, I think it’s all about being mindful. So many times, I stumble upon Facebook and Twitter half awake, bleary eyed. Liking and tweeting without really thinking about it. Letting my mind become flooded with information that I haven’t consciously prepared myself to receive. I think that I can try harder to open these social media apps/sites deliberately. Not just on auto pilot – out of habit. So far, I have been able to do that. I’ve thought about it a lot more. I feel better for it.

I can’t promise that I won’t have my annoying moments on Twitter – no-one’s perfect – but I’ll probably save bucketloads of moolah on therapy by switching off/slowing down every now and then 😉

How do you feel about social media? Hate it? Love it? Love to hate it? x