So, I get recognised and remembered a lot. I know. You’re thinking I must be a big deal. People everywhere tell me they know me from somewhere. “Oh,” I’ll say in an airy tone, “I get that all the time…” But seriously. I do get it all the time. And the reason is not that glamourous. It’s because I’m… ASIAN. And a whole bunch of people seem to think ‘we’ all look the same. Yes. That. I’m always probably related to someone. Or the SPITTING IMAGE of someone’s best friend (ahem – I think their Asian friend needs to get better friends who pay more attention to them). Or didn’t…
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Note to self: my struggles are a part of my story.
Excuse me, but I’m going to get a bit deep right now. The last month or so has been pretty tough, emotionally. BUT…I think I’ve faced those struggles for a reason. Because now I’m in warrior mode. And I’m OK with that. It’s been a challenging couple of years dealing with secondary infertility. I have found myself feeling the pressure, physically – it’s my body that isn’t doing what it should. I have felt emotional pressure – pretending that I’m OK on days when I really am not. I have felt like I have not been participating in my life – through no real fault of my own. On top…
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Endometriosis.
I want to have a little chat about endometriosis. Because I have just been diagnosed with it and, quite frankly, I am still learning about it. In some ways it’s a big relief to know I’m not just being a wuss each month – when I’m not leaving the house when it’s at its worst, and dreading my period like you would not believe. In other ways, it’s tough because it’s a relatively new problem to me (it seemed to get really inflamed a few months ago – going from a really small ‘not seen as a problem’ cyst to my current diagnosis) and I just want it to be…
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What we’ve been up to lately.
“So…what have you been up to lately?” Ugh! Every single time somebody asks me this question in person, I am stumped. I have no idea what to say and then I sound like the most lame stay at home mum in the world when I shrug and mumble, “Just boring stay at home mum stuff…” Now if that doesn’t kill a conversation, I don’t know what will! And it has in the past. While the people who helped let it die probably just didn’t value my role as a parent full stop and prefer to speak about paid work, I know I need to take responsibility for selling myself a…
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Note to self: Read this when overwhelmed.
pic I really think that being overwhelmed is one of those things that comes with adulthood. Actually, it starts much earlier than that for a lot of us…I guess we become much more aware of it with the responsibilities that trying to be a fully functioning adult can carry. I feel overwhelmed at least once a week fortnight month and each time I am trying to learn how to better deal with it. You may know the feeling – too many tasks to complete, not enough time. Too many people asking things of you, not enough of you to go around. Feeling like you’re super busy all the time getting…
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Facebook: I love it but sometimes I don’t.
pic Facebook. It’s just this little social networking site. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it? It’s a place where your worlds collide. You can see into the lives of almost everyone you’ve ever (or even ‘never’) met, on a daily (or several times daily – let’s be honest) basis. This can be fun. It can be voyeuristic in the kind of way where someone has actually invited you to stalk them so it kind of makes it OK. Used wisely, it is a great way to connect with people instantaneously and to share your lives with those who may not always be geographically close to you. I recently…
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Breathe. It’s a new week.
pic I usually find that there is a time of year when everything just explodes and life gets super crazy. Birthday season never ends, wedding seasons tend to flourish and baby showers abound. There are football finals, spring in the air, which somehow turns to summer when no-one’s looking. Then, roll on Christmas, New Year and the usual holiday shenanigans (now new and improved with child). So…basically, our crazy season goes from somewhere in August, to…oh, February the following year. At least that’s how it’s felt the last few years. Each weekend becomes chock full with commitments. Each week day carries a pressure to meet some kind of deadline/appointment etc…
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The (not really) Yummy Mummy’s Guide to Preparing for a Big Night Out.
…results not guaranteed. When preparing for a girls’ night out, a mummy must start planning months in advance. Not kidding. If you’ve got other friends who are mummies then you need to maybe just make it a year in advance. Then tell your husbands/partners/parents/in laws to Lock. That. Sh*t. Down. It’s going in the diary and you WILL have babysitters. ALL of you. Determination is the key. Give yourself ridiculous amounts of time to become human again. Save money for a dress/outfit far in advance with the financial planning precision you would use to save a deposit for a house or something equally as life changing (tip: your outfit shouldn’t…
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Things that make me uncomfortable.
pic A lot of things make me uncomfortable. Budget airline seating. Running. Too much ice cream. Holding the not so Little Mister in one arm for five minutes while trying to pay for something at the shops. Anybody else’s pillows except for mine. Kneeling beside the bath each evening, trying to be close enough to make sure the Little Mister doesn’t fall over and sustain an injury (or overdose on the consumption of a random bubble bath brand that you found in the cupboard because he ran out of his normal type and you couldn’t be effed going to the shops that day – parenting fail win). I mean, those…
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For one night only.
pic So last week I was having some weird moments. I was just mentally…struggling? I don’t know if that’s the right term, but all I know is that I was not my best Kez. I had perhaps a little dose of PMS (yep), my husband was away for a week, I had a lot of sh*t going on in my brain (it was still trying to process the whole previous year month) and I felt like I’d lost my mojo. I was letting all of my insecurities play out in my mind (usually in the mid afternoon when I felt the most bored/drained of energy). Fears of not being the…