Tag: self improvement

F*ck yeah, self care!

Oh, hey! How are ya? I’m pretty good because this week is my birthday week. You’ll find that I’m not one of those shy, don’t like to celebrate types. I think birthdays are frickin’ rad and that everyone deserves to feel a bit special as they reach the milestone of being alive for another year! I’m even OK with ageing! While I’m not always loving the look and texture of my skin, I’m pretty stoked with the stuff that makes me feel wiser each year. I wouldn’t trade that for anything at this point! Not even the completely on point, dewy skin of an 18 year old! OK, maybe…I don’t know haha.

Sure, I cried the night before I turned 20 but that’s in the past now. Did you hear that, family who still laughs at me about it? It’s TOTALLY IN THE PAST ?

I don’t often throw a big party or anything – last party I had was my 21st I think. I get too anxious and worry that nobody will come and it’s just all a bit awkward, truth be told. But I love a good pampering, a little trip away or a girls’ night out!

Since I’ve become a parent, I have really treasured my birthdays.

When people ask what I would like gift-wise, I am quite honest and blunt about it. I want something that gives me permission to be selfish. I don’t feel guilty about that at all. I work hard for my family all year ’round! This is one time I can stop worrying about being ‘sensible’ (well – within reason – you know what I mean?).

I’ve decided to give myself a little birthday self-care to-do list to achieve ASAP, which I thought I would share with you.

They are the things I don’t always do throughout the year, because they can cost a little bit more of my time, energy or moolah. Things that can be a little bit easier at birthday time!

Get my hair done.

I have already made an appointment and I am so excited because I am going to try something totally new. If it’s a success, you’ll know all about it in due time! I can’t remember exactly when my last hair appointment was, but I do know that I have put off going back to my fave place because getting your hair done costs money and I kept talking myself out of it. During birthday week, I say f*ck it. Also, a little gift money does wonders!

Order some new activewear.

I need some more tights, maybe a hoodie or two. Activewear that I can be in during the cooler months. I’m gonna splurge on the good shit that doesn’t turn see through when you bend over. I KNOW.

I don’t buy all the crazy brands. I’ll probably never realise my Running Bare potential or figure out the Lululemon thing. I’m probably not a Lorna Jane girl. But I do like me some nice, stylish Cotton On Body stuff.

I’ve been putting this off forever!

Get my guitar out again. 

I have the most beautiful acoustic guitar that Mr Unprepared gave me for my birthday in 2010. Problem was that 2010 turned into the year from hell, followed quickly by 2011 when I got pregnant with the Little Mister. I kind of forgot to keep playing (or even sleeping or going to the toilet alone). I hope that 2017 will be the year I start again. I’m not talented but I love giving it a go. Music is everything!

I need new strings and I’d love a good tuner. I’ll be butchering my favourite songs again in no time, hopefully! I’d love to share it all with the Little Mister (another big fan of anything musical).

See if a ‘lash lift’ treatment is right for me and if so, get it done!

I have shorter lashes. They are straight and they point down FFS. Mr Unprepared and the Little Mister have glorious lashes that are neither of those things. I am mad jealous. Great lashes are wasted on the boys! I only just found out about lash lifts and I am really intrigued! I am too scared of extensions and fake lashes, so maybe this could be for me? If so, I really want to give it a go!

Look into local group fitness options that I can afford.

I’ve struggled with the gym concept at times, but now that the Little Mister is full time at school, I wonder if there is something I could do? Something with the motivating group aspect that fits into my life timetable, isn’t prohibitively expensive and doesn’t make me freak out about being locked into anything. I don’t always love all the classes offered at the local gyms and I just want to get my money’s worth while getting fit and working on my health.

I know there’s a heap of stuff out there I can try, but I need to try harder to invest my time into narrowing those options down and picking something just right for me. I’d love to try something outdoors in a park type environment. I don’t always love being cooped up inside. I got close to joining a gym with my old school buddy who so kindly offered to go through it all with me, but the timing was a bit off (financially) and I admit I got cold feet and lost momentum. I must try harder!

Enjoy a girls’ night out.

It’s been forever! I have a little something planned for the weekend and I can’t wait!


I don’t have a set timeline on some of these things, but I want to make them a priority. Wish me luck!

What’s on your self care to-do list?

2017.

A little while ago, I took some time to reflect on the year that was: Oh, 2016, you were a complicated beast.

Now, I would like to look forwards in time. What will 2017 have in store for me? What are my goals? What would I like to continue?

I feel like I’m going to leap into 2017 feeling awesomely unprepared (see what I did there?) and oh my goodness, if the last couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that life will never cease to surprise me.

Still, here are some things I would like to see! Whether life has other plans or not, remains to be seen!!

Goals:

Fertility

While I don’t really feel like writing about it anymore (it can be draining), it would be neglectful to not mention this: Some fertility success would be ideal! While I can’t control the outcome so I don’t feel like it’s an actual ‘goal’ so much as a dream, I do hope I can aim for being much more pro-active in the care I receive. More assertive when it comes to dealing with specialists. I spent a lot of 2016 finding my feet. I hope 2017 can be about Getting Shit Done and making sure the right people are helping me to GSD (Get Shit Done).

Finish the Lady Cave

This epic saga has dragged on for so long it’s embarrassing. I bought most of the furniture. I cleared out most of the junk from the room. I just had trouble directing the moolah towards getting new carpet (by ‘trouble’ I mean I always found other things to do/think about), and motivation towards moving the last of the heavy furniture from the room. It’s a bit crazy, how slow I’ve been at this. I’m sure you could analyse me and find some kind of deep seated emotional/psychological block that’s been holding me back! Either way, I am so ready to make this happen. A little bit of Christmas gift money and Mr Unprepared being a magical furniture removal fairy yesterday while I was out, has made me feel much more enthusiastic!

Now that I write a lot more and I work on my computer a lot, I am more than ready to have my very own blogging lair.

*evil laugh*

Support more small creative business

I know I practically live at Kmart or Cotton On or some of the bigger chain stores. Sometimes my wallet (and my time) can only stretch that far. But there’s something I really want to do. I want to spend 2017 thinking more locally too. There are so many unique things out there: clothing, gifts, etc. Stuff that would not only make my life at least 67% cooler (don’t fact check that statistic I just totally made up), but that would allow me to support those who are out there doing their small creative business thing. I have some special peeps on my wishlist. I’m going to stop talking about it and I’m going to start doing. Because some of that stuff doesn’t actually cost an arm and a leg like I used to believe! It might take a little extra planning but I think it will be well worth it!

Record my happiness more

I’ve written a lot of happy lists on this blog, but they have been quite sporadic lately. I’ve decided to participate in #100happydays to keep me creative and in a positive frame of mind. I start on January 1st, 2017. You should join me! Just register at the website and get started – you can choose your own start date too! I really hope I can stick this one out. Or at least get to 100 within the year haha.

Things I’d like to continue in 2017:

  • Living healthily and striving towards my goal weight. I did so well this year, losing 5kg. I can’t wait to smash the final 3-4 I have left to lose. It really worked well for me, using the school term as a timeline for being really disciplined. If it ain’t broke!
  • It took me until the end of the year to get my shit together, but I finally started using online calendars to organise my life. I feel so much more in control now, so there’s no way I’m going to give that up! Note to self: figure out how to stop getting reminders via email. SO ANNOYING.
  • I’ve made some social changes in 2016. I’ve really enjoyed developing friendships that make me feel good about myself (and hopefully feeling like I do the same for them). I’ve redefined some boundaries and I’ve found my tribe/s. It feels good. I feel much more secure and happy friendship wise than I have in years. I want to stay on that path.
  • Adventuring. I did so much of it this year and it saved the way I look back on 2016. We already have a trip planned for March and we’re working on an idea for July. SO EXCITING.

What do you want to see happen in 2017? Do you set goals or resolutions, or would you rather poke your eyes out with a blunt object? 

Kez Gets Physical: Week 8 Update

Well well well. I cannot believe it. The end of the school term is finally here! The Little Mister finishes tomorrow and it’s the  holidays! I don’t know who is more excited. OK, it’s me.

This also means that my super strict Kez Gets Physical mode relaxes a little until the school term begins again. You know, because life is short and Christmas is yummy and all that.

In saying that, I have learned a lot during this term of better habits.

I know that I don’t want to slack off and not exercise and eat carb heavy meals every day, even when I’ve told myself I don’t have to. I KNOW. I have come a looooong way. At the very least I’d like to maintain my current weight before term 1 of 2017 begins, but I would love to drop a bit more before then – even if it’s at a slower rate.

I feel like I’ve made good choices in deciding to be much more vigilant about my food and exercise during the school term. It was so much easier to fit new habits into a structured routine and the fact that there is more school term than holidays throughout the year should hold me in good stead. I definitely want to continue this, even when I do reach my goal weight.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot about how diet and exercise work together, as I’ve been able to track my body fat percentage during weigh ins. I notice the difference between the weeks when I’ve not exercised, versus those when I have.

So…how did I do in all of the 8 weeks?

Here’s where I’m at…

In total, I have lost 5.7kg – not bad! My BMI is almost back within the healthy range – not far to go at all!

I currently weigh less than I have in the time I’ve owned a fitbit (and could track it well) since October 2013. That feels good.

I’ve dropped a clothing size in my tops. I still need to tighten up some muffin top to feel entirely comfortable in my clothing but I will get there. Some of my dresses are starting to look too big or unflattering now, although I’m not convinced I could drop a size yet.

I worked out for an average of twice a week, throughout this challenge period. That’s nowhere near as much as I’d hoped to achieve, if I’m honest, but life has been pretty hectic and I think I did my best. I will look into finding ways to improve this.

In this past 8 weeks, I averaged 48,203 steps per week. Could definitely improve but I’m not too mad about it.

Where am I going?

Throughout the holidays, I will continue to try to exercise wherever possible. I will be having a few cheat meals or snacks. I will keep my diet predominantly low carb where possible.

I want to work on my mid section more. I’ve always had a fear around this (fertility related shit) but I have decided to get over myself and just work those abs and sides. Why not? I’m not pregnant. If any of my past problems were going to present themselves, they would whether I exercised hard or not. I should just fuckin’ live and stop holding back, damn it! These holidays are the perfect time.

I will have the Little Mister with me more so finding me-time to exercise will be more challenging. Also, Mr Unprepared will be working longer hours, which will be difficult. I will start to do some awesome YouTube work outs during the day – the Little Mister can join in if he wants and I’ll try to clock up my 30 active minutes minimum daily.

I have 2.8kg to lose before I reach my initial weight target. I would be so thrilled if I could reach this target before school goes back. I won’t beat myself up if I don’t but anything that gets me closer by then will make me very happy.

After this post, I don’t plan on continuing weekly updates (because boring!). I will be sure to check in occasionally, but for now I think I’ll give it a rest (you may find little updates with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on social media). Thanks for those who have stuck it out with me for the last couple of months. This has really helped me to be accountable. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement.


I really needed to make these changes and I am so glad I did. It does take some sacrifice and hard decisions, when temptations (and enablers) are everywhere, but the hard work has been worth it. I feel so much better about myself and I don’t regret it for a second. Getting past those initially difficult weeks where you’re adjusting and suffering from withdrawals is hard, but when you come out the other side you feel so much better. I needed to do this for myself. With the extra weight, I was carrying stress and sadness about my secondary infertility situation. I needed to let it go and start again. I’m getting there.

Thank you for sharing in the (sorry…going to say that word) journey! I mean it. You guys are effing awesome.

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Kez Gets Physical: Week 3 Update.

I can’t believe I’m about to start the 4th week of living healthier (again)! That also means that the school term is almost halfway through – that is crazy! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I just want to say that I’ve been really enjoying eating a bit cleaner. For the most part I haven’t missed my processed carbs, anything made of potato, white bread or pastries. For the MOST part. Of course I have a couple of moments where the weather is nice, and I imagine myself tucking into some amazing ‘dude food’ (because I’m clearly a dude or food marketing people are clearly sexist) at the pub, but I have resisted a lot of my old temptations with very little fuss made lately and I’m proud.

So, where am I at right now?

Just like last week, I lost 0.9kg again! I guess my body isn’t into the whole ’round numbers’ thing! Still, I’m quite relieved to say the least. I broke my diet a couple of times. Not anything huge – a bite of cake here, a beautiful home made sausage roll at a housewarming there. And my exercise was absolutely shit, let’s be honest (but we’ll get to that)!

My step count? Oh, you guys. I only achieved half of my target and I don’t really have any excuses! At the time of writing this I only got 35,314 steps in! While I have most of the (Sun)day to add a few more thousand, I obviously won’t get anywhere near the 70,000 mark.

So far I’ve lost 3.8kg, which is really exciting for me. I was getting annoyed that my size 12 jeans were getting slightly saggy (you know when they get pouchy around the crotch and it’s weird?) and also annoyed that it’s still jeans weather so I couldn’t just throw hang them in the back of my wardrobe and forget about them for the summer. I was not in the mood to buy new ones! But…then I remembered that I had a pair of skinny jeans left over from the last time I was a little slimmer! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but when I pulled those size 11s up, they fit better than they ever have! SCORE!

Of course this led to me trying on all those dresses I cannot part with and I was excited to realise that I have expanded my wardrobe by about 3 dresses (and they still look current and fashionable – yes!).

I still think I’m a pretty solid size 12 (my jeans were probably just stretched out in certain areas), but I’m a much more comfy one! It’s nice to not feel like I’m squashed into everything.

Good choices I made this week…

I was faced with cake, not once but twice. And I only had a bite sized portion each time. Not a piece or three like usual. But a bite of each! I know that sounds really obsessive, but to be honest, I really didn’t feel like it! I think I’ve weaned myself off a lot of sugar (not all but a lot compared to usual), so I didn’t really miss it! I KNOW! A taste was enough for me.

I also ate out twice (at people’s houses – thanks for having us!) and simply picked the greens/salads and proteins over the bread rolls and potatoes etc (apart from that one delicious little sausage roll haha). It wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be! I don’t believe in changing people’s plans to suit my diet (i.e. if there were no healthier options I would have just dug into anything that was going) but I’m realising there are healthier options almost everywhere once you have some good habits in place, and you don’t have to put anyone out or make a big deal out of it.

Things I could improve…

Hands down, it would have to be the exercise. I didn’t get anywhere near my step goal and I didn’t work out properly. I had maybe one quick last ditch effort on the treadmill and that was it. My incidental exercise was quite minimal compared to normal too.

I sometimes struggle to get diet AND exercise happening together. At the same time.

I was feeling unmotivated and mentally/emotionally exhausted (still). I would choose to sit down and do nothing when I had a chance to get up and do something! Even the housework suffered – oops. I just felt so drained. It was frustrating. I guess I’m just processing a lot of things at the moment and to some degree that can’t be helped. I just have to find my way through it, like with anything in life. I need to find the balance between knowing when to rest and knowing when exercise would actually really help!

I hope I have better luck with week 4!

How are you feeling this week? 

Thank you for keeping me accountable, simply by reading these blog posts! It’s been a great motivator!

You can follow my efforts throughout the week on social media with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical ?

 

Kez Gets Physical: Coming back from an unplanned hiatus…oops.

Look, I’ll level with you. I swear I write about how to come back from a slump in fitness/exercise/good health efforts more than I write about the actual ‘doing’ of it all. I’d feel embarrassed about it, but in all honesty, I’m happy to keep it real. Because I reckon most people I know can relate. I also think that half the battle with looking after ourselves is how we get back on the wagon, when we slack off or let other life shit get in the way.

I am not going to lie. I have been exhausted. Lazy. Distracted. Unmotivated. Making excuses. And it’s starting to show.

I’ve had some valid reasons not to exercise – constant blood tests and medications (secondary infertility SUCKS) have been a big disruption to my routine. But at other times? Not so much.

I’ve maintained the weight loss I achieved in 2015 (as in I haven’t put anymore on), but I’ve watched my body fat percentage slowly increase. I’ve felt my legs getting heavier. I know I’m losing the tone I was so proud of a few months ago. I know I’m going to huff and puff and feel lousy before I feel better, when I get back on my treadmill.

And I’m not really cool with that.

It’s probably been at least a couple of months since I had a good exercise routine (or at least some semblance of an effort I was excited to make). I’ve been eating crap. I’ve been feeling crappy. I KNOW this is the first sign that I need to take better care of myself, but I often ignore it.

It’s taken me all this time to find that thing that makes me want to actually get out of this slump (instead of just thinking/talking about it). And that something is getting back to my Fitbit obsession. I was OK without a Fitbit for a while – when my last one was found to have a fatal hardware fault (RIP) I realised that I no longer needed to rely on it for motivation (that was obviously nice while it lasted). Now, I’m realising I need a visual reminder of what I can achieve. I need to see how many steps I’m doing (or more to the point not doing). I need to take part in challenges with my friends. Keep myself accountable. Enjoy the competitive side of my personality (in a healthy way haha).

I also need to remind myself of a few things if you don’t mind:

Using fatigue and anxiety as an excuse not to exercise/eat better is a silly argument. Thing is, it’s a cycle. I know that if I eat healthy food and exercise regularly I have more energy, better moods and my anxiety lessens. I have to suck it up and get over that initial hump. Of course I’ll be more tired at first. But when am I ever not tired? I can’t use that excuse, because I’m an adult with responsibilities. We’re all tired!!

Remember how good you feel in your active wear, Kez? Good active wear sucks everything in and has an air of aspiration about it! It’s comfy and stretchy and makes me feel more bouncy in my sneakers and ready to go. I need to get back into it. Literally.

Hello – exercise is justified me time! You know? That thing you have SO LITTLE of at the moment?? Just do it. It’s better than no me time at all, that’s for sure! Mr Unprepared gets his cycling time. I need mine too! Sure, it’s less than both of us would prefer, but geez – beggars can’t be choosers!

When I exercise well, I fuel myself better too. For some people, working on their food/nutrition first works. For me, it’s the fitness thing. When I’m exercising well, I am less likely to eat badly. I start to crave healthier things because I love the feeling of being fit and well. I eat less junk because I want to have the energy to exercise and junk food doesn’t give that feeling to me. I start to see progress in my body and it motivates me to make better choices.

Exercise is good for my self esteem. And no, I’m not just talking about looks. I feel more confident when I’m getting regular endorphin hits. My brain works better (which means I have marginally less awkward bumbling moments haha). I look in the mirror and I love what I see, even before the changes are noticeable. Because I feel empowered and I know I’m doing good things.

So. That’s it. I am coming back. I am kicking my arse back into a healthier lifestyle. It will be gradual progress but it will be progress. I don’t want to go backwards anymore! I want 2016 to be an awesome year for ‘Kez Gets Physical’.

I don’t believe in fads or quick fixes or temporary measures to reach goals. That’s what keeps me getting back on track when I falter. It’s never too late and health should be about every day choices I make for the rest of my life. I will never be perfect (emotional eater – hello), but I can live better.

Who is joining me? Have you had any stumbling blocks lately? How do you get around/through/over them?

Kez Gets Physical: Loving your body (and yourself) NOW.

Deathtostock_Retreat2

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When I say ‘love’, I don’t mean that you have to be head over heels, loving yourself sick and thinking you’re the sexiest beast to walk the planet every time you look in the mirror – no improvements needed (although you are totally a sexy beast – just saying). I mean the act of love. The ‘being kind to yourself’ kind of love. The kind of acceptance for yourself and your body that you would give anybody else that you care about, but somehow forget to give yourself. The remembering that you are more than what you look like. That kind of love.

I used to be of the mentality that I would have to work hard to get the body that I want and THEN I could love myself – you know, when I got really hot. And you know what? I was MISERABLE. I was all about the destination and not about the journey. Holding off my happiness and acceptance of myself was not the best idea I’ve ever had. In fact, it turned out to be really counterproductive.

Also, WTF. How shallow is that?? I would never treat somebody else like that. Why do it to myself?

The funny thing is, it took me being the heaviest and most unfit I’ve ever been in my life to actually start loving myself (this was only a few months and a couple of kilograms ago). I think it’s because I had to accept that if I got myself moving and really made an effort to improve my health, it would take a lot longer than it ever has before. It wouldn’t be a quick fix (and nor did I want it to be). That’d be a really long time to wait to be happy.

For me, the happiness I feel when I’m saying nice things to myself, is what actually motivates me. I’ve made so much more progress in my journey to better health since I decided to be happy with myself NOW than I was ever making when I made the choice to loathe who I saw in the mirror each day.

How do I love myself and my body NOW

I used to think that there was no point buying nice new clothes because I’d be heaps smaller and slimmer one day, so what’s the point? May as well make do with what I had until I was ‘hot again’ and then I could spoil myself. That was a HUGE mistake. Each day I faced a wardrobe filled with things that didn’t fit anymore. Stuff I was waiting to fit back into. See, I never got rid of that stuff because I thought that if I did, it was like telling myself I’d never wear that size/style again. I thought it would be like admitting I was giving up. Thing is, I was also subconsciously telling myself that I didn’t deserve nice new clothes that fit and flattered, because I didn’t think I was good enough how I was.

Each day I would have to wade through the stuff that I couldn’t wear anymore. I would feel sad and annoyed (it also was a big waste of time). Every day. I would put on some drab piece of clothing – probably something super floaty I could do nothing but hide in and hope I blended in with. It was often a few seasons old or it looked overly worn out. I never felt good.

I also never worked out. I told myself that until I was ‘hot’ enough to wear gym clothes, I shouldn’t buy any, like I didn’t have the right to buy it because I wasn’t ‘the real deal’ or experienced enough. But then I would never be able to exercise the way I wanted, because I didn’t have the right clothes or I felt frumpy and out of place when I improvised! Funny that.

So one day something snapped in me and I went into a little bit of a frenzy. I packed all the stuff that didn’t fit me into bags. One for charity and one to put aside somewhere just in case (in a container to be stored away so I didn’t have to see it every day). My wardrobe looked quite bare, but suddenly there was room for new stuff. Stuff I deserved to buy myself. Best decision I ever made.

Now I go clothes shopping when I can (which is not often but I make it count) and I put some effort in. I deserve it. I deserve to look and feel nice no matter what weight I am or where I am in my progress as I strive to be healthier and stronger. I have a couple of aspirational clothing items but I keep them to a minimum and they are realistic aspirations – not crazy dreams of a size 6 mini dress – the kind worn only by Hollywood socialites on the red carpet (socialite in mini dress I am not)! If I ever get small enough for that kind of thing (and someone invites me to a red carpet event haha), I’ll go buy it when I need it. For now, I’m happy to dress for where I’m at. Yes. Happy. I’m gonna be sexy NOW damn it!

The more I exercise and eat better, the less I care what people might think of my appearance. Because there’s something magical about knowing your truth. If I’m doing all I can, people can think whatever the fuck they like. When I was miserable and secretly eating my feelings every day and hiding in grey muu muu dresses, I thought that any negative thoughts people had of my appearance would be all I deserved. It wasn’t and to be honest, I don’t think other people thought much of anything. I was just projecting my own feelings about myself onto them. Deep, huh?

Another thing to do is to find inspiration (and perspective) in people who are more like you, physically. I know heaps of beautiful girls of all sizes and shapes who look AMAZING to me all the time and not once have I ever looked at them and thought bad things about them just because of how they carry their weight (or any other physical trait). In fact, I see who they are shining through more than anything. If I don’t judge them, should I be judging myself? Hell to the no! That’s also a good indicator that other people probably aren’t judging me either!

Now when I look in the mirror, I look for the good things. Sure, I might do a quick ‘does my back fat look too obvious in this’ check (old habits die hard), but I look for the little differences in my muscle tone since I started exercising more. I look at the things I like about my outfit or my body. Because I put love into my body and my wardrobe NOW, it is much easier. I’m proud of a ‘look’ I’ve achieved, rather than relieved I can blend in for another day (or horribly anxious that someone will ‘out’ me as not being good enough).

Even if my clothes aren’t fitting great (and the stuff in the shops is not helping either), I find ways to pamper myself. Cute accessories (they’ll always fit), colourful shoes, getting my nails done (or taking the time to do them myself). It doesn’t matter what size I am. I know I’m working hard and things will improve. I am kind to myself because I deserve my own kindness NOW (or at least I am working really hard on it).

Because what’s more motivating? Someone bullying us and saying we’re not good enough or someone telling us they care and that they’ve got our back and they know we can do this because we’re worth it?

Don’t be your own bully!

You are beautiful in so many ways RIGHT NOW!

The big question: Do you believe me?

The evolution of my relationship with make-up.

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I have spent most of the past two weeks make up free. Partly because I really didn’t get out much, partly laziness and also because towards the end of that period, I realised that my foundation had run out. I couldn’t tell because some of it was stuck up the insides of the bottle and I couldn’t see through it, to determine that I was running low. Damn, lying bottle of foundation.

My skin has been dry. Not flaky dry, but just parched. The pores on my nose have seen better days. God, I’m attractive.

Now, this has been a slightly dire situation, but I’ve found that the 31 year old me has handled it quite well. I got to thinking about how the teenaged/early 20s me would have dealt with this. And the answer is that she wouldn’t have. She would have been like, “Damn, Future Kez! You is cray cray! Never leave home again, you old woman! Your life is over! O.V.A.H.”

I realised that in the past couple of weeks, I have quite happily (probably) terrorised the local neighbourhood supermarket staff, one pharmacist, the Little Mister’s day care staff, and you know…all the people of Periscope (@KezUnprepared if you’re on there) with my bare faced antics. I have also lived in hoodies and slouchy pants (or worn gym stuff WITHOUT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THE GYM). While, this does slightly concern me (especially the gym wear thing), I am kind of celebrating that at the age of 31 I have finally realised that I am OK no matter what is on my face/body (or isn’t)! Do I feel like a slob? Yeah…kinda. But is this new mindset still somehow a win? Definitely.

Gosh, the more I type, the more sexy I seem.

Of course, today I found an opportunity to get back to that all important self-care. I had a little post pay day spree. I bought new foundation, 2 kinds of BB cream (still looking for The One), some primer, pore strips, liquid eye liner (always waterproof) and some hydrating cream. Go me! I am excited to get back into the ritual of caring for my skin. I think that’s what’s so different from the teen/20s me. Now, it’s about maintenance and care. It’s about carving out those precious few moments each day to look after myself. It’s as much about the process of applying the stuff to my face as it is about what I might look like at the end of it.

20-something year old Kez (and earlier) was all about hiding. I had to hide all of my flaws. I had to make sure no-one found out what was underneath the make up! I would insist on applying it before I went for a swim, before I walked the dog down the street, and even…don’t judge…a subtle layer of foundation before a sporting activity. Definitely before a quick run to the local supermarket. If for some reason I could not wear make up one day, I would either stay in or walk very quickly with my head down, anxiety coursing through my veins until I was safely out of sight of the masses who would surely think I was a hideous beast.

“Oh, look at that creature! WHAT IS IT AND WHY IS IT IN PUBLIC? RUN!!!!!”

Ironically, my skin was beautiful throughout my 20s and I just didn’t appreciate it. It went to bed caked with make up ALL THE TIME. Yet it rarely dried out. It was flawless due to my religious use of the pill. Of course there were no wrinkles and very little sun damage (a topic for another time). I was also super skinny up until my late 20s and could wear ANYTHING. 20s me – what an ungrateful bitch!

31 year old me doesn’t have time for that shit. 31 year old me has too much other stuff to worry about. Like keeping my kid alive and worrying about whether I’m regular or not.

OLD.

Of course I do still have days when I scare myself as I look in the mirror. Days when I feel fat and frumpy. Times when I see what I’m wearing and think, “Geez. Get it together, woman!”

I am only human. Also, I do like to make myself pretty. I’m not about to ‘let myself go’ any time soon.

At some point, though, I must have finally come to the realisation that it’s not the end of the world if I don’t look completely polished all the time – the plain faced me is still kind of awesome.

What a relief!

And that new self confidence is thing #139374 that I like about getting older 🙂

What do you like about getting older? What is your relationship with make up like?

Stuff I wish I wrote (or that I just love).

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Guys, I am not kidding when I tell you I am getting stir crazy. Did you know that I have not left my home for a week?! If I didn’t have a Friday night date with my girlfriends to see Magic Mike XXL (we are all really interested in the plot of course), I think I’d go absolutely loco. Well, more than usual.

Everyone’s taken their turns being sick in our household and OMFG I want out!! I haven’t touched my make up in days and I have worn variations of really daggy PJs/track suit/leggings combos for an embarrassingly long streak. What’s going on in the real world, guys? Is everyone on hover boards yet? Are you all still out there? There hasn’t been some kind of crazy zombie apocalypse or anything, has there?

As you can tell, I cope really well with isolation…

I thought, hmm. I have all this time at home so maybe I can blog more. But could I think of a single thing to write about that wasn’t tired or boring (much like my week)?? Nope. Nothing. I stared at my blog for ages, nothing going on behind my eyes. One big derp. You know when you think you’re being really productive because you’re making your thinking face but then you realise that really, it’s all just a facade and you forgot to actually think? For like a few minutes you were just sitting there like a dumb arse? Because derp?

Turns out, to be inspired, you often need to get out of your little bubble and explore the world. You know, live a life you can blog about. At least that is what I would normally do when I have writer’s block. Damn it!

So today I gave up. I started catching up on all the blogs I subscribe to (and Netflix but let’s not go there). If I can’t write great stuff, then I can read it! Everyone is so gosh darn clever. I’ve read so many posts that I wish I’d written. Stuff that has made me laugh or made me think. Or made me hungry.

So I thought I’d share a little bit of link love. Here are some of the things I’ve really enjoyed…

Never Trust a Jellyfish – Tribute (to the Best Blog Post in the World)

Oh, the times I have thought up a wonderful blog post…and then subsequently forgotten when it came time to type it up. Or worse, when I’ve written a fantastic post and suddenly there’s a glitch and it goes missing!

This is not only a hilarious tribute to that frustrating experience, but a trip down memory lane – remember, Tenacious D, anyone?

A life less frantic – Managing the overwhelm caused by your inner ‘planner’

Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Well, duh. You’re a person. Of course you have! Kelly, over at A Life Less Frantic has some really great tips for managing that frantic anxiety of trying to figure out the logistics of everything on your to do list.

Babble – Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

I love when people round up great tweets that I would not otherwise find by myself. I giggle SO HARD. Trust me, these are worth it.

Ask Your Dad – Dear Crappy Parent

Around these parts, I am very clear about ridiculous judgement of other parents being an absolute no no. I always believe that when we see that person at the supermarket with their kids, we do not know the whole story. We don’t have the right to go off at people on the internet, based on one photo or post that we’ve seen. We should all focus on getting our own backyard in order before bossing other people around about theirs. Just because someone does something differently to us, does not immediately make that person inferior to us (I mean – who do we think we are?). That’s just how I roll.

Unless we see a clear incidence/evidence of abuse that cannot be explained in any other context (in which we should ALWAYS speak up), we need to reserve our judgements. We are all in this together.

This blog post from Ask Your Dad totally nails why we should be less nosey and judgey.

Culinary Storm – Chocolate Lava Cake for 2 

OK, so this just made me drool. It’s so easy and it is everything I crave on a winter’s evening. I’m not saying it’s good for you, but hello…just look at the pictures and tell me you don’t want it. Chocolate lava cake for 2? Yeah, right. I think we know it’s just for one hungry 31 year old woman with no self control…not that we’re talking about me or anything…

What have you been reading lately? Want to share your latest blog post with me? x

Kez Gets Physical: Things I could do better.

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I have really been enjoying making a bunch of lifestyle changes so I can be fitter and healthier. I am exercising regularly, meeting and beating my 10,000 steps a day goals almost every day and I have lost a small amount of my body fat percentage, but OMG there is so much room for improvement! I’ve been thinking about the things I am not really nailing right now and how I can do a bit better. And when I say a ‘bit’ better, I really kind of mean that. I want to hold myself to account, but I don’t believe in extremes. I don’t think I could sustain that so I hope to take bite sized chunks at a time, because I want the changes I’m making to become real habits and not just a passing phase. I tend to burn out too quickly if I go too hard too early (I’ve learnt this from numerous experiences in the past so I am trying to pace myself). I feel I’ve reached a little bit of an impasse and I know I need to get my butt in gear and up the ante a little. I’m starting to feel bloated and slow again and I do NOT like this feeling now that I’ve had a taste of the good-for-me life!

Here are the things I want to improve on – starting now!

Nutrition

I have made some minor changes. But I’ll admit I have a looooooooong way to go. For example, I do not crave potato as much as I used to. In fact… *gasp*… I even find it a bit stodgy now and prefer cauliflower. It’s not so starchy, has less carbs and not so many calories. It’s also full of all the right flavours and textures to stop my cravings. A definite win for this spud fanatic!

However…

I have a new obsession with chocolate brownies. And sometimes I eat too much for lunch. And I keep buying little ‘treats’ at the shops, telling myself I’m just gonna eat them to ‘get them out of the house’…but then I go and buy them again. Repeat the cycle and really, we’re achieving sweet F A. Oh gosh, I am ridiculous.

Lately I’ve been procrastinating. Oh, I’ll eat better tomorrow. Or I’ll eat better starting Monday. You know the drill. We’ve all been there, right?

I don’t know if it’s the cold weather or my usual lack of resolve, but I know I need to do better!

I have bought myself some low carb brownie bars from the supermarket for when I have super bad brownie cravings. I am sure they’ll taste nothing like brownies and will be tiny (because correct portion sizes – hello). But they’ll be better than nothing when I am desperate. I am going to just point blank stop buying junk. If I don’t buy it, I won’t have any at home. I think I have a higher chance of stopping myself from buying the stuff than I do of not eating it once it’s in my cupboard/fridge. I gotta stop myself at the source!!

If I can’t stop myself from baking (it’s an addiction – a form of therapy for me), then I will give the stuff away (hey if I make everyone else plumper I will look smaller in comparison hahaha)!

This week, I ordered my groceries online. No impulse shopping. No face to face temptation. Healthy meals all planned and accounted for. Not to mention it helps with budgeting. I must do this more often.

Upper body

I’ve noticed some positive changes in my body. I feel stronger. I’ve lost some lower back fat and my butt looks a bit perkier (at least visually I feel there’s more shape and definition). I use the treadmill a lot. I’m great at walking. I’ve tried some good leg work outs. I just think I need to do more with my arms and my upper back muscles. I’d love to trim up and lose some fat in the ‘back of my bra’ area. As you can see, I did not excel at human biology, but I hope you know the bits I mean.

I’m going to try and do some more all over body type work outs. I have a Michelle Bridges DVD that involves a lot of push up type exercises (I tried it for the first time in forever yesterday – on my hard tile floor – and it wasn’t pretty) and I do love me some Fitness Marshall hip hop. I think I’ll search out some more good stuff to try. As much as I hate exercises that get me down on the floor, I think I should try a bit harder.

I keep joking that Mr Unprepared should get me a boxing bag for when I’m feeling angry, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea!

Drink more water

There are so many health benefits from drinking water. I know I need to do this more. My skin needs it for a start! Since I’ve started sweating a lot of stuff out, my skin started off with a great glow, but now it’s getting dry. I find I’m either full of zits and teenaged style break outs (my skin trying to compensate for the lack of hydration I think) or I just look old and flaky. Attractive.

That’s one of the shallower reasons to drink more water, anyhow. I do take dry skin as a symptom that the rest of my body needs it.

I am not sure how I can encourage myself to improve, other than to maybe start tracking my water intake on my fitbit app.

Setting small goals

I have some bigger goals in mind – getting to a healthy BMI, reaching 25% body fat, fitting more comfortably into my current dress size (12) and then dropping to a comfortable size 10 (a realistic goal at this point – although being a size 8 would be entirely ideal for my naturally small frame I do feel those days might be past me at this point – never say never).

But…I think perhaps having small events to look forward to might help. Like training for a fun run or even wanting to feel and look a bit better for upcoming social engagements. Things that can feel like a reward in themselves and encourage me to push a bit more. I’m not quite sure what I’ll do yet, but I will keep you posted when I figure out what will work for me.

Increase incidental exercise opportunities

I would love to get my incidental step count up, so that my work outs are just the awesome icing on the cake. If I’m not trying at all and it’s a normal day at home (i.e. much like the past week where the Little Mister has been at home sick a lot and we haven’t got out much), I average about 6000 steps incidentally doing housework and just walking around the house doing stuff (and that’s on a good day). I think I need to up my game. Do more housework (haha)? Stand up more often? Go for more walks? Dance in the kitchen? Any suggestions? I’m talking about the days when I can’t really get out of the house.

So those are the areas I want to work on. I have some ideas of where to start, but I’d love any of your suggestions. I haven’t really got many solid goals yet and I know that having specific, achievable goals is important.

What works for you? What do you need to work on? Got any suggestions for me to help me improve?

Kez Gets Physical: Measuring progress.

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So it’s been about a month since I got my treadmill and decided to really get my act together when it comes to my fitness. Here’s my best day from this week, as proof I’m really trying!

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I always find the first few weeks the hardest, because it’s hard to measure any progress you might be making (as excited and as motivated as you may be).

I am no scientist/doctor (scientoctor?) but I always find that the first couple of weeks, there can be weight gain and I often feel (and look) bloated after a work out. Not to mention the fatigue from trying something new!!! Which gets me down a bit, even though I know it’s just a hump I have to get over. I always find myself just impatiently waiting to see some results so I can feel encouraged to continue.

I decided I want to do more than just weigh myself and track my activity on my fitbit flex. So I bought the Fitbit Aria scales that sync with your app (WTF? So clever) and tell you your body fat percentage. Any scales with the body fat percentage function in them would be good enough, but I figured it would be handy to have something compatible with my other stuff. I wanted to see an accurate break down of what’s happening in my body. Some weight gain can be muscular and some weight loss isn’t necessarily as healthy as you think. I was so nervous to step on the scale for the first time. I was imagining the scale screaming at me, “95% POTATO”.

What? I like potatoes.

But it turns out I’m more like a third fat. So it could be worse. But it could be a whole lot better. I’ve set a goal of 25% – eek.

Mr Unprepared is training for a big charity bike ride, so we’ve been keeping each other company in our progress. We decided to measure ourselves. Which involved lowering the blinds, stripping down to our underwear and getting the measuring tape out…wait, that sounds wrong. You know what I mean. Nothing suss! Haha.

I’ve never done the measuring thing before. I think because it’s always seemed like the kind of thing that only serious people do. BUT…my need to feel like I’m making progress took over and we did it. Measured ourselves, I mean. I don’t think I’ll check back in on those measurements for a while (part of me is too lazy and another part of me wants to see a significant difference when I do bother), but it’s good to know there are several ways to see how you’re improving over time.

The more I get into this, the more I realise that your weight (at face value) is not the most important thing (although I obviously would like a more healthy BMI). How you get there is more important than say, crash dieting or doing unhealthy stuff.

Also? Listen to those around you. They might notice any changes in you that you don’t see – we’re our own worst critics, are we not? This happened to me over the past week. My mum told me that I looked a little slimmer and I’ve been carrying myself a little differently. She said that I looked different in a top I was wearing. Mr Unprepared kept telling me too. I admit I didn’t listen for a few days haha. I’d look in the mirror and be all, pfffft. Nope.

But the other day, something magical happened. I started to see what they were talking about!!

Guys. I’m getting my butt back. This is VERY exciting news. Pre-Little Mister I had a great butt. Then after pregnancy and birth, I kind of went back, back, back, legs. And no, not because my bum had become so skinny. But because I had filled out so much I had no shape anymore!

I was so excited to look in the mirror and finally see a little curve. A little definition in my lower back! It’s not much, but it’s definitely something!! I don’t think I’ve seen that little curve in at least three years!!

I’m feeling so motivated! I mean, what else can I rediscover?! It’s like an archaeological dig!!!

How do you measure your progress? Had any small wins lately?