Tag: pets

The Happy List #21

Each week I write a list of the things that have made me happy. Sometimes I feel excited about it and at other times I have to dig a bit deeper, because I’m tired or something really annoyed me or turned to shit. You know – first world problems and all. I keep going because I think it is important to remember the good things, even if you’re not really feeling it. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives – our brains seem programmed that way – so I like to bring the positives to the foreground so I can appreciate them properly. Even if they’re really simple moments, they are still nice to think about.

So here are the things that have made me happy this week…

I survived something I was really nervous about

That’s it really. We’ve all been there. How good is the relief after all is said and done?

Watching 2009 Kez get closer and closer to finishing uni

I don’t know about you, but I am a big fan of that ‘on this day’ feature of Facebook. I like looking back on what I was doing/thinking/posting however many years ago on any given day. All of my pre-2009 posts are full of stress about uni and studying! Firstly, I am sure I bored the heck out of my Facebook friends at the time because it was all I went on about for a while, but secondly, it brings back just how full on and intense my course was. I was with a great bunch of girls who all pushed to do our best and I am so grateful for that. It was my second go at uni (I tried teaching but it wasn’t for me) and I really appreciated my tertiary education so much more by then. I was NOT going to fail. This meant that the pressure I put on myself was immense, but it paid off. I am so happy for 2009 Kez each day as she gets closer to graduating (she has just finished her classes and is preparing for exams). I am grateful for my degree in Behavioural Science every single day, because I might not be using it so much in a professional sense these days, but it really shaped and informed my views about the world around me, the decisions I make, and my understanding of why people do what they do. I feel like it’s made me a better person.

2009 Kez does put me off doing any further study for now, but I hope Future Kez gets inspired at some point.

A bottle shop opened up around the corner from my house

Um, hello. No explanation necessary.

I baked and it turned out great!

I wanted to make something nice to take to the inlaws’ for my father in law’s birthday. I knew nobody would mind if I bought a cake, but I hadn’t baked properly in a while and it felt like a good idea. I’d had a big week and it felt kind of therapeutic. I was a bit nervous because whenever you make a big cake, you can’t cut into it or taste test it until it’s presented to the recipient/s. I could not have been happier when it was cut open and everyone declared that it was delicious. Phew! I think the chopped up bits of Mars Bars on top might have helped my case too haha. This is a terrible photo but there was no time for styling – this is real life and everyone wanted to eat it!
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The Little Mister named his toy dog after my childhood dog without even knowing it and my heart burst

Last night the Little Mister told me his stuffed toy dog’s name was Bo Bo. I was taken aback because that was the name of the first dog family dog we ever had growing up. He was a special pooch – a real character. What a blast from the past.

I told the Little Mister about the real Bo Bo and how amazing it was that the toy and the real dog had the same name. He looked so happy with that. I asked him if Nanna and Poppy had told him about Bo Bo but he said they hadn’t. I couldn’t remember ever really bringing it up either. He carried his newly named Bo Bo everywhere with him around the house and asked to sleep with him and while I really don’t think there’s room in his bed for another comfort item, it somehow got past us (i.e. Mr Unprepared was a bigger softie than me).

I think I have something in my eye. I mean, what are the odds? He went through a phase of calling everything Poo Poo or Pee Pee, so you know what we’re working with.

Even if he has been told about the real Bo Bo and we’ve just forgotten (or his information about Nanna and Poppy not telling him is a bit dodgy), I still think it’s incredibly touching. Especially as he’s been missing my brother who moved interstate and his grandparents on both sides have been travelling a lot.

NAWWWWWWWWWW.

Kids can be really annoying but they also really get you in the feels.

So what’s on your happy list this week?

Kez Gets Physical: Outdoor run #2 recap.

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I woke up when the Little Mister ran into our room exclaiming, “IT’S THE MORNING! WAKE UP! IT’S THE MORNING!”

Sigh. Sure was.

It was also the morning I had planned to go for a run. I’ll be honest, I really wasn’t feeling it. Even though it wasn’t the most efficient idea (seeing as I was going to be all sweaty soon and would need a shower after too), I decided to have a shower to wake myself up. While I was in there, procrastishowering, I tried to think of a strategy to get the full 5km. I decided that I wouldn’t just run to the beach. I would run past it until I reached the 2.5km mark and then turn around.

I put on my shoes and socks. I prayed they were the socks that wouldn’t slip down my heels while I ran (my sock collection is a MESS). I cut off my circulation with my new arm band (so I can carry my phone).

I loosened my new arm band. You know, because I didn’t want my arm to fall off while I was running. That would be soooooo annoying.

I got my Fitbit app started so it could track my run, then I collected my overly excited dog, and we set off. The first kilometre was SO AWESOME, you guys. I felt heaps fitter than I did the first time I went running (off the treadmill). In fact, the second kilometre was shaping up OK too. I was feeling pretty good. When I was tired (which was most of the time), I played a little game with myself. I decided I would run harder (or at all) whenever a car went past me. You know, so I could maintain some dignity…but also to motivate me to be a little more accountable haha.

The dog and I got closer to the beach and I felt pretty good about myself. Not far to go until my halfway mark. She dragged me up the hill (dogs are good for that)…and then she saw the ocean.

I was literally forced to go to the beach. I was not the PACK LEADER IN THIS SITUATION.

“NO! We need to go PAST the beach, Blitz!” I protested.

She was having none of that. So my run took a bit of a turn. Let’s just call it some extra ‘resistance training’ I threw in there. Totally on purpose of course. I mean, I’m just that good.

Yeah, ‘resistance’ being me trying like crazy to pull her away from the lure of the sand and waves…and failing.

OK, I thought. I can roll with the punches. I’ll just keep her on the lead and run along the beach for a bit. It will be good for my leg muscles.

Nope.

She wanted off that lead and into the ocean. There were no other dogs around at that moment so I let her off for a minute. I contemplated my future options. Train my dog better (oops) or change my route next time so it didn’t involve ocean views. Neither sounded easy. BLOODY BLITZ.

I got her back on the lead and we headed for home.

I’d stupidly taken my phone out of my arm band while on the beach, so I tried to keep the dog in once place while trying to replace it. Then more dogs were coming. Then two really fit looking sexy people ran up behind me. Like, we’re talking ‘from a fitness magazine’ sexy.

So what did I do?

I quite literally ran away from them, with my iPhone in my hand and the dog trying to trip me. NO SEXY PEOPLE. DON’T CHASE ME!

I stopped when I realised that instead of following me on the footpath, the sexy people were running in the opposite direction up a GIANT HILL LIKE IT WAS EASY. BUT OF COURSE. I dismantled my arm band awkwardly and shoved the phone back up in there, before replacing it.

Hot tip. Life hack if you will. Huffing and puffing like you’re gonna die because you’ve never run this far before will keep the tiny flies from going in your mouth as you run home. It was really a lucky coincidence that I discovered this. Do it. It will change your life.

SO MANY TINY FLIES.

I didn’t quite make the whole 5km but I was pleased to get home and see that (apart from the detour to the beach – DAMN YOU BLITZ!) I had kept a similar pace to what I’d been achieving when training on the treadmill (I use the CT5K app). Yay!

I then did a crapload of gardening right after (in my activewear LOL), while Blitz tried to hump me. Again. Not the pack leader. Sigh.

The Happy List #11

The Happy List #11

 

I am using what energy I can to write my happy list before I come crashing down after a 4:30am wake up this morning! On a Sunday, no less! Ah, the things we do for love (I will explain it in a moment)! So, here’s what has made me happy in the past week or so…

Watching the sun rise

Today is Mr Unprepared’s birthday. It is also the day he needs to do a 140km training ride with his cycling team for a charity trip he is doing in a couple of weeks. I don’t know what’s wrong with me (a sudden burst of love?), but I decided that I would wake up at 4:30am with him, bundle the Little Mister into the car and go on a little early morning adventure to the city, where the ride started. You know, in the spirit of it being his birthday and all. While I dreaded the early morning wake up (and had trouble falling asleep at a reasonable hour to compensate), I am so glad we did it. The Little Mister was enthralled with the novelty of getting up at ‘night time’ and despite my fatigue, the drive home as the sun rose was just lovely. The colours in the sky. The quiet on the roads. That whole “it’s a new day” feeling. I love it. Not too often, but I do love it when I have to haha.

Busting through a mental block

I’ve mentioned it quite a bit (sorry!), but I’ve been trying to declutter our study so I can turn it into a gorgeous lady blogging cave worthy of Pinterest. I was getting all excited as I shredded old documents and threw out weird useless trinkets, but then I reached a bit of a mental block. I didn’t know where to go next. I felt a bit overwhelmed. I thought that everything would have to stop, because I had no idea what to do next. Then, a visit to my parents’ and suddenly it just seemed so easy. I took inspiration from my brother who is leaving to live in Melbourne soon – waaaaah (happy for him but going to miss him terribly). He had some great stuff to sell me and observing how he was going about the decluttering process really sparked something in me. It was a lightbulb moment! I mean, some of the stuff he’s doing seems so obvious but like I said, I had a total mental block. I came home feeling ready to take the next steps (because I finally knew what they were). It was like a weird chain reaction. Suddenly inspiration returned to me and I’m excited again. I got this!

Being able to talk (or tweet) openly about my anxiety

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Earlier this week, anxiety (I named her Patrice because “NOBODY ASKED YOU, PATRICE!”) was really trying to beat me down. She was being such a bitch. Telling me I was lonely and sad, when so many things in my life were actually looking pretty good (or were things I could normally find the positives about). Telling me that the things I should have been looking forward to were all going to end in dismal failure and the implosion of my very soul. Making me think I wasn’t strong enough to bounce back even if that was the case (which we all know it probably wasn’t going to be). I was really getting sick of Patrice’s shit.

I decided to tweet about it, because a couple of years ago (when it was at its worst), I decided I wouldn’t hide it anymore. I would stop buying into the stigma of it. I would help myself and others by being honest and open. Within minutes, I had wonderful responses from kind friends who hilariously got into the spirit by telling Patrice to eff off and I knew I wasn’t alone (like Patrice was trying to make me feel). While external validation wasn’t really my motivation (I was just venting and trying to put the thoughts outside of my head – a bonus if me keeping it real helped somebody else to feel less alone), I was so grateful. I started to feel better almost immediately. No joke. Being able to speak up and say you’re not feeling great does wonders. I thank everyone (online or IRL) who makes me feel safe to do so.

When the dogs greet the Little Mister at his bedroom window

It’s a silly story, but the Little Mister went through a phase where he kept turning on his bedroom lights in the middle of the night (therefore keeping himself awake). We confiscated the light bulb from his overhead light and we now unplug his bedside lamp when we’re done reading stories for the night. Meanest parents ever haha. In the mornings (especially when it’s dark and cloudy), I have to open his blind immediately so we can see what we’re doing. Our dogs have gotten used to this and have adjusted their morning routine to listen out for us and come running to the window to ‘say’ good morning every day. It’s so sweet and the Little Mister loves it.

Learning new insults

I visited our local major shopping centre on a Tuesday morning at 9am. As soon as I got inside the automatic doors, I heard a beautiful bogan specimen loudly telling a tale about her life to another gorgeous bogan specimen. It involved a moment that she was very proud of in which she had told another (I’m assuming) bogan that she was a “cheesecake c**t!” over and over. The joy on her face was just exquisite. She was almost glowing as she recounted her moment of triumph.

While it’s not a side of my hometown that I’m especially proud of, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself about it all day (and laughing is good for us). I mean, what exactly is a cheesecake c**t and what do you have to do to be qualified as one? It goes on the happy list because it did weirdly make me happy. It’s like we can make fun of it because we live here.

Where would we be without bogans, hey? (don’t answer that – it’s tongue-in-cheek rhetorical haha)

 

So that’s it for this week! What would you put on your happy list?

The Happy List #6

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It’s been a slightly unusual week here at the Unprepared household. Mr Unprepared somehow got away for much of it for a boys’ trip to Melbourne (slippery sucker). I’m not jealous. Much. Whenever he goes away, I know I’ll miss him, but I do this thing where I remind myself of all the perks you can temporarily have while your partner is gone. It flips the script from negativity and sadness to make it something to look forward to – hey, it’s only a few days and you have to get through them anyway. May as well find things to enjoy about it!

Here’s what’s made me happy this week…

The temporary bachelorette life

Hogging the bed, watching Netflix in bed as late as I like (within reason because I have to parent), eating weird meals, more time to blog, quieter evenings, the ability to do weird beauty related things without him looking at me like I’m losing my mind, no sports on TV. I also kind of like that no-one snores on me and the bathroom floor is always dry. Sorry, hon. You know I love you. Haha.

A little shopping for myself

Being able to buy myself some new make up and stuff was great this week. I had let things slip in the self care department and it felt really nice to get some stuff to pamper myself with and help me get back out into the world after a few illness ridden weeks in our household. I am so excited to have a couple of comfy hoodies and some awesome sauce PJ pants on the way too!

That one time the Little Mister ate his dinner without any weird complaints

You might know what it’s like trying to eat dinner with a small person. The food can be too hot, too cold, too hard to eat with cutlery. There can be demands that it be cut into smaller pieces, then tears because you cut it into smaller pieces. Yesterday’s favourite food can become today’s most hated.

Well, one night this week, I made macaroni cheese with corn and shredded chicken. Seems like a no brainer when it comes to kid friendly, right? Not always. Nothing is guaranteed. I have served similar dishes before, to just be left broken by his zero star reviews. Like the times he randomly decides he does not like chicken. You know, just for that night because that’s the night you cooked it.

Not this week! I watched in disbelief as he used his fork (as opposed to his fingers), peacefully eating the whole meal. No complaints. No sudden disliking of the ingredients. No weird, drawn out delay tactics between mouthfuls.

“I love corn! I love chicken! Thank you for dinner, Mummy!”

AMAZING. I felt like something magical had happened. Some mystical science fiction shit. I may never witness this again, but gosh it was wonderful. A once in a lifetime experience. No, really. Probably was.

Getting my blogging mojo back

I’m probably jinxing it right now, but something clicked in me after feeling writer’s block for a bit too long. I realised that I was caring too much about doing everything ‘right’ and about the fact that my traffic had been down since I became self hosted and moved my blog to its own site. I had forgotten what I was doing this for. Me. For me. Because I love to write. And because I know I would still do it even if no-one was reading. Once I got back to basics, the words started to flow. I love when my creative side is just busting out. It’s a thrill.

The Little Mister being BFFs with our dog

The other night, Mr Unprepared took pity on our little heeler Heidi and let her in the house for a while. She’s getting older and she feels the cold. She was allowed to sit in the Little Mister’s play room by the door. Of course she crept closer and closer to him as time went on. He made her a little ‘home’. He showed her his favourite toys. He said sweet things to her and gave her loving pats. He talked to her like she was one of his human friends. It was the sweetest thing EVER.

EVER.

 

So, that’s my list! What would be on your happy list this week? x

I have an announcement.

*drum roll*

You may not know this, but this week we added another member to our family! A gorgeous puppy. I’ve never seen the puppy and the Little Mister in the same room for some reason, but I know they’d love each other if they ever met.

This furry member of the family entered our lives last Tuesday. I thought it might just be a one day thing at first, but he seems really happy with us and he’s stuck around.

The crazy thing? This puppy (who the Little Mister has named after one of our other dogs – original) is the most obedient and well trained creature I’ve ever had the pleasure of raising (even easier than a toddler).

This puppy can roll over, sit, stay, lie down, fetch and shake hands on cue. This puppy follows me around faithfully. Enjoys head scratches and tummy scratches. Wags his tail when he’s happy. He’s even partially toilet trained (my other dogs certainly were not when they arrived). He doesn’t have fleas or allergen inducing fur. He’s the perfect pet.

He jumps a little bit and he pants a bit, which is a bit of an annoying sound, but he’s just delightful. It’s really funny when he gives Mr Unprepared loving licks to the face.

Yep. That little puppy is indeed the Little Mister’s alter ego. He’s been pretending since last week. It’s hilarious but I admire his commitment to his character (and he’s an adorable and easy going doggie). Also, a new actual puppy? Ain’t nobody got time for that! 😉

An apology.

Today we have a guest post…let’s just say my dogs have some ‘splainin’ to do. 

Dear Mum (aka Kez Unprepared) and Dad (Mr Unprepared),

We are very sorry for the latest incident which occurred overnight at our shared residence. As your first babies, we should have known better. We let ourselves get carried away and we deeply regret our actions.

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We knew we’d made a bit of a mistake when Mum and that little human you guys keep inside, found us snuggled up at the crime scene this morning. It just felt so bushy and warm. We hope you understand that direct eye contact is a little difficult at this time. We are trying to come to terms with what we have done. We were cold and we can’t help it if our instincts told us to make a nest. Sure, we have a big, spacious kennel out back but in all fairness we destroyed our bed too so we needed alternative accommodation. It’s not ALL our fault, you see. I think it would be only right for you to take some accountability here too. It does take four to tango. Not that we know what a tango is. But it sounds like something people do when they admit their dogs aren’t completely to blame for something that may or may not have allegedly happened. Our lawyer told us to say that.

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Our lawyer may or may not be a bug we weren’t fast enough to chomp on.

We know that things don’t look too good for us right now. We realise this isn’t our first offence.

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We just hope that you have a heart and that you will forgive us. And please don’t think that this was Blitz’s twisted revenge plot because you didn’t take her to the beach the other day. It totally wasn’t. We know Dad could only take one dog (Heidi) and that tiny human at one time. Something about us getting crazy at the beach? Ever since you got that tiny human, we’ve been feeling a little bit like we’ve been relegated to a life that is filled with a little less attention than usual. Look, we’re not going to throw around words like “neglect” or “RSPCA” but…let’s just say that you might want to reassess. The day is getting closer to the time when dogs learn how to use smart phones and you might want to think about what we might be capable of. That’s not a threat or anything. We’re just sayin’…no need to start getting all worried about “extortion” or “blackmail”…

Much.

Please accept our sincerest apology, because Heidi is a poor orphan dog who was found suffering in the wild (rough childhood) and Blitz is part Labrador. Well, we all know what they’re like. We can’t help it.

We would offer to pay for the damages, but we’re dogs. Dogs don’t have money. Suck it. I mean, sorry.

Kind regards,

Blitz and Heidi. YOUR FIRST PRECIOUS FUR BABIES WHO LOVED AND KNEW YOU LONG BEFORE THAT TINY HUMAN EVER CARED.

PS. The bug lawyer will be sending his bill to you shortly. Because again, dogs don’t have money. Duh.

PPS. LOVE YOU. ALWAYS.

PPS. *LICK LICK LICK* *WAG WAG WAG* (we don’t know how to not love you).

This post was part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. 



Toddler = Cat

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So I spent some time fully believing that having a baby was totally the same as having a puppy. Well, not quite, but remarkably similar(ish). As time goes on, I have come to realise that toddlers are definitely cats.

Here’s why:

  • Have you ever tried to herd a toddler or even a number of toddlers?? It’s similar to attempting to herd cats. Much like cats, toddlers have minds of their own and they aren’t afraid to offend anybody.
  • You can only cuddle a toddler when they want you to. For as long as they want you to. Otherwise there’s a lot of funny noises and wriggly escape attempts that may or may not get you (unintentionally) injured.
  • A toddler isn’t particularly big by human standards, but can somehow take over an entire couch. A toddler also has hard little paws…I mean hands…and will absent mindedly dig/knead elbow-y bits and feet into you while you are “relaxing” together.
  • They both like the same toys. No, really. Tie a bit of rolled up newspaper to a bit of string and the Little Mister is entertained for ages. This makes me sound like a bad parent, but I’m not. He just likes being a kitten at my parents’ house. They’re cat people.
  • Some people are allergic to cats and some people act like they’re allergic to toddlers.
  • Um…have you seen the ratio of cat photos to toddler/baby photos on the internet? It’s a tie.
  • They like milk. Fact.
  • They often have unpredictable temperaments. One minute, all other cats/toddlers deserve nothing but suspicion and WTF are you doing here looks and at other times it’s all smiles and cuddles. Each day can be completely different depending on the mood of a toddler/cat.
  • Cubby houses made out of boxes and hiding spots under tables and chairs? Only a cat/toddler’s favourite thing!!
  • When it’s feed time, they both tend to crowd around you making loud howly sounds, dropping hints and trying to jump up into the food bowl before a meal is ready to be served.
  • Both toddlers and cats tend to look you straight in the eye before they do something they know you won’t approve of. They don’t care for your rules. Bad-ass.
  • They get all up in your computer’s keyboard every time you try to type something. Neither are particularly computer literate.
  • The world revolves around them, didn’t you know?
  • They can be picky about what they eat on occasion.
  • People like to dress them up in ridiculous outfits. When I say “people”, I don’t mean me. I mean, I would never…OK, I would.
  • You know what they say about curiosity and cats…
  • Have you ever tried to give either of them medicine before? I rest my case.

OK, so they’re not completely alike. I guess I’d better give you the balanced viewpoint. Here’s how they differ.

  • Cats can swim but they don’t like water. Toddlers can’t swim but mine loves splashing about!
  • Cats are known to be nimble and agile. Toddlers are not. They tend to stumble around like pint sized drunken zombies.
  • Cats nibble away at their food in a polite fashion. Toddlers cause carnage and mayhem in the high chair.
  • Cats are generally very neat with their *ahem* waste. Toddlers? Well, let’s just say I’ve heard horror stories and may or may not have had a bath ‘incident’ a couple of nights ago…

So there you have it. Toddlers are definitely a part of the cat family.

I am not a biologist or whatever the people who can tell the differences between toddlers and cats are. One of those. I’m not one of them.

My brain: Making not-weird things seem weird since 1984.

PicYep, that’s me!

I have this…thing where I think about stuff (haha keep the jokes to yourself). Stuff that no-one else seems to think about. I seem to stop and notice things in my life that are there every single day and freak the eff out. Like I’ve never seen or thought about these things before – ever. Are you confused yet? These could be the ramblings of a very tired semi-insomniac or they could be the thoughts of a brilliant mind. You decide.

When I was a kid, I kept asking the adults in my life WHY DO WE YAWN? Everyone kept saying, “Because you’re tired. Duh.”
This frustrated the hell out of me. I wanted to know why our bodies function the way they do – what is my body actually trying to do when I yawn? It took me a long time (this was before google was the go-to research machine) to finally get the answer I wanted. We yawn because that helps get oxygen to the brain or lungs and expels excess carbon dioxide. Which makes sense that if we’re tired, an extra push of oxygen might help us stay awake! I don’t know. I’m no doctor. Anyhow, I asked the question because I have a (selectively) inquiring mind. I didn’t want the stock standard answer everyone gives without a moment of thought. I wanted the real answer. The physiological explanation!

I still think weird things all the time. These thoughts will just pop up out of nowhere and I drift off into Crazy Kez Land where it’s always weird and no-one cares. Like, the other day. I was driving the Little Mister to Officeworks to look for just the perfect colour selection of Sharpie permanent markers (I am a bit pedantic with my stationery), when I suddenly thought (brace yourself for the geniusness), “Wow. I drive a car. Isn’t it strange that I get into this piece of technology from the ‘future’ and control this machine with my hands and feet (well I’m sure it’s a bit more complex than that but take in all of my weirdness please)? I mean, wow! Society is AMAZING! I DRIVE A CAR!”

You would think I was a cavewoman or something. I guess I was just appreciating something that we all take for granted. I’m kooky like that. I mean, no-one else thinks it’s weird. I can’t say this stuff out loud.

I have also been known to question domestic housepets. In particular dogs and cats. I mean, don’t you think it’s AMAZING?! WE LIVE WITH ANIMALS. WE TAME ANIMALS. This is blowing my mind!!! Like, there are animals in my house/yard that live with me and walk around with jump on me and EXIST beside me. Isn’t that wild?! Like, a bajillion years ago (figure may not be correct and is based on no research whatsoever) we found wild animals and we kept them in our homes/caves/whatevs then bred them to be domesticated. I mean, WHOA.

You can only imagine how I feel when I see the Little Mister hanging about in my house. I LIVE WITH A TINY HUMAN. A tiny human made up out of myself and my husband’s DNA. A real live, human person. We made a human. And he hangs out with me. HOLY SH*TBALLS. I HAVE A KID. I’m still not used to the idea that I have a child, even 11 months in. I am still processing the fact that I am a parent, even though I live it each and every day with all of my being!

You’re not impressed? You seem underwhelmed. Sigh.

I don’t know why I have to marvel at stuff that no-one else does. It’s like I’m the hipster of not cool stuff in a non ironic way. What???? I don’t even know what I just said.

Is anyone on the same wacky page as me (and not on mind altering drugs)? Anyone…?

*crickets chirping*

I need more sleep.

Puppies are not babies. Sigh.

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OK, so it’s time for a little bit of light heartedness around here…

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve seen several puppies grow into successful adult dogs in my family homes. My husband (then live-in boyfriend) and I even adopted one when she was about five months old when we became an adults who felt capable of keeping something alive (which I imagine is what my parents thought about when they adopted me haha). I still can’t keep plants alive, but that’s another story…

Since then we’ve also raised a very rambunctious Labrador/German Shepherd cross, from puppyhood and let me tell you, that was an eye opener. My husband was working away for the first couple of weeks of her life and I saw myself imagining what it would be like to look after a human baby – alone. This canine infant cried all night, escaped every barrier I created for her and was certainly not toilet trained! She chewed on everything in sight (including my hands) and ate a lot. I remember thinking, it was lucky she was SO cute as I recovered from three hour nights of sleep and got on my hands and knees daily to scrub the tiles she had soiled quite comprehensively.

I used to always laugh that having a puppy was like having a baby and that it was all good practice for parenthood. Similarities? Both are cute, they grow up way too fast and your love for them is unconditional.

However, there are also many differences between human puppies and dog babies.

No way! Get outta town!

It’s true. Apparently, it’s not OK to bathe your human infant outside on the lawn by simply dousing him in shampoo and rinsing with the garden hose…even if he is particularly filthy. Also, you can’t put nappies on your dog. Well, you could, but people might think you were a bit weird. I can’t decide which way I’d rather go. Let the baby poop all over the yard, saving money and time where nappies are concerned (just doing one big clean up every few days), or put nappies on your dog, saving the unsightly view of your garden if you fall behind in your lawn clean ups. Hmm.

You have to buy a sh*tload of stuff to have a baby. When you get a dog, you just get a bed, bowl, squeaky toys (that will be half eaten within days), a collar, council registration tags and a few vet bills. No-one really analyses these decisions with you, asking “What colour collar are you buying? Will it suit the puppy’s gender and match your puppy’s style? What kind of bed should I get for my puppy? I want one that will last for more than one puppy’s puppyhood and can convert into three different types – bassinet level, cot level and toddler puppy bed! It must also match the decor of my house and the theme I’ve chosen for my dog’s space. Are the dog toys I’ve chosen educational?”

OK, so some people do. There are a lot of hardcore dog lovers out there. I’ve probably been a lot more casual about the whole thing. I just ask, “Can she eat it and will it be spread all over my lawn by tomorrow morning? No? Well, I’ll take two.”

Usually when you get a puppy, it can already walk. Even the adorable rescued puppies who have three legs instead of four can do this adorable hop/walk thing. For reals. I’ve seen it on YouTube, Oprah and Ellen. Human babies have to be carried or wheeled everywhere. If you put them down anywhere, they just kind of flop about and they can fall off things. Which is scary. Although, I am nervous about the day my Little Mister can walk around. The thought of having to childproof everything to the nth degree terrifies me.

Another thing: You can’t leave your baby home alone with a bowl of water and some biscuits, while you work/party/do the grocery shopping. Apparently that can get you into a lot of trouble. Also, there might be some ethical issues around the idea of microchipping your child so you can be contacted when they get lost. Sounds like a great idea, but apparently it’s not the done thing…yet. I’m sure someone’s working on it.

I guess there are pros and cons in having either a dog or a baby. I’m lucky enough to have both. We’ll see which ones eat us out of house and home first, shall we? 🙂

Do you have a fur baby or a human baby? Both?