Tag: perth storm 2012

FAQ: So what have you been up to lately?

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Hmm. Whenever somebody asks me this question in person, I get into some kind of brain fart situation and I can’t think of a thing. Anyone else do that? My answer just ends up being something awkward along the lines of, “Not much. Just parenting and living and stuff. Y’know.”

Yeah. I know.

So I am going to try to summarise it all in writing for you, because I’m sure you really really care, and also I can’t think of anything else to write about this week that actually makes sense.

So…
I spend a lot of time walking in circles around my house. Seemingly aimlessly. So there’s that. Besides my usual insanity, this is often done with my pinky finger attached to a chubby little toddler hand. The Little Mister has decided that he loves long strolls with the lady of his choice (until some time around puberty I imagine that’s me). He hasn’t figured out where it is he would like to go, but it’s all good as long as he has his walking buddy. Each time he takes a break by plopping onto his nappy padded bum, he then reaches up for my hand and it starts again. So that’s about an hour of each day (at least) accounted for.

I have also been very busy planning each trip I take to the toilet. I’m surprised I haven’t had to write it down in my day planner, along with a long list of reminders of the very detailed process. If my husband is home it’s slightly easier. It involves loudly announcing, “I’m going to the toilet. ALONE.”
This is my husband’s cue to intercept the Little Mister before he catches up to me and busts through the door action movie hero style, to catch the bad guy (that’s me – guilty as charged for not inviting a toddler to watch me do my business). If I am alone, I have to announce subtly that I am leaving for the toilet. I then have to gently walk away down the corridor. I have to shut the door, jiggling the handle just right so it’s harder for a little monster to open. I then have to pee, wipe and flush in record time before I am caught up with. If I want to do number 2s (sorry for the TMI but I poop just like everyone else), this process involves me turning on the kids’ TV channel, praying it’s a bright, colourful show that will keep the Little Mister’s attention and sneaking off like a ninja. Whoever says that letting the TV babysit your child for even a minute is evil, because it will rot their brains, can look after my child when I’ve gotta ‘go’. Seriously. I just have to do what works. Although, occasionally it doesn’t work. Sometimes I get a crying child outside the toilet door. I have been known to spend time doing my business and singing kids’ songs at the same time. I’m glad we have no neighbours on that side of the house, because I can tell you, they would think I was a lunatic. I mean, we know I kind of am, but SHHHH. IT’S A SECRET. I once sang “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands…” (that’s multi tasking for you) and when I finally emerged from my hidey hole, I found the Little Mister, tears streaming down his face (all that awful parental rejection does that to you) while pathetically clapping his hands. Aw, it breaks your heart.

Hmm, what else can I tell you? I actually occasionally do do (haha I said “do do”) something interesting, but I usually forget this when someone asks me what I’ve been up to lately. I give my standard awkward answer and then everyone (including me) thinks I’m boring. Last Thursday I was lucky enough to attend a luncheon where Mia Freedman was the guest speaker at Bistro Guilluame. Mia (Ha! Look at me acting like we’re on a first name basis!) was everything I hoped she would be in person. Bubbly, candid, inspiring and so down to earth that for a split second I honestly thought we could be friends if I just spent a few minutes stroking her hair and talking about motherhood with her. If you haven’t heard of Mia (Shock! Horror!), then you should first reassess your friendship with me, and after you and I agree that we will overlook that transgression, you would know that Mia has been editor of the Australian Cosmo, Cleo and Dolly magazines. She now runs a very successful website called Mamamia, which features amazing blog posts by a diverse bunch of contributors who really get me inspired and inform me about the world around me (outside of my Living with the Little Mister bubble)! It makes me laugh, cry and really think deeply about topical issues. Have I raved enough yet? So that was really really fun. I now want to be a power blogger…or a lady who lunches. Can’t decide. Either way, it was a great day out with my friend Bec where I could eat with both hands and concentrate on full conversations. Hooray!
Check this out, y’all:

I’m a little embarrassed by how excited I was to have my tweet replied to. I sound like such a tragic fangirl. I just have to put it out there: Mamamia and Mia’s work have really been a sanity saver since I became an Awesomely Unprepared Mummy! I’m not too cool to admit it 😉

We had weather again in these parts. Last night I was very outraged when I couldn’t hear the television over the wind and rain. I spent ages thinking deeply about the bad acoustics in my living room (our backs to a big window which lets in outside noise) and frantically adjusting the volume up and down. My husband had to almost remove pry the remote from my hands because I kept pausing the live TV (my new DVR IS AMAZING) each time a gust of wind passed by. However, things got a little worse when we went to bed (it’s always just as you snuggle down and you’re almost peacefully slumbering) and the fence started flapping about. So there’s something new for my poor husband to fix. He had to dismantle the flappy bits (haha flappy bits – I’m juvenile) while only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and an old work shirt. Well, he didn’t have to only be wearing those items, but the point is, he volunteered himself for the job and I couldn’t be more grateful. When he returned to bed it was like sleeping next to a very dejected ice cube.

Other than that, I dressed the Little Mister up as a cowboy for one of his friends’ birthday parties. He drank half the pool at swimming lessons (he gets really excited when his face gets near the water and opens his mouth really wide in a look of enthusiastic awe – EVERY TIME). He’s been teething. He points at things so I can tell him what they are, but sometimes I think he just points at one thing when he’s looking at something else and it’s all really just a big confusing game – he’ll probably spend the first few years of his life thinking that a dog is called a wall and a light is called a sippy cup.

It’s not the most glamourous, high powered kind of life, but I like it 🙂

What have you been up to lately?

We had weather. We never have “weather”.

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So, we’ve had a recent bout of stormy weather in my corner of the world the last week or so. In other parts of the country, hell even in other countries, this would just be something that I imagine you hardy people would just take in your stride. However, where I live this kind of weather (or any weather at all) is just unheard of and we all lose our shit minds.

We like to think that we live in an eternal summer where all we need are shorts, tee-shirts and a bit of sunscreen to protect us from the elements all year round. As soon as it rains, we freak out. We drive either really really slow (without our headlights on) or we speed up (without our headlights on) because we’re rebellious: “I’m not gonna let this rain tell me what to do, dammit!” BAM. CRASH.

Or…we don’t leave our houses. At all.

“Sorry, mate. Can’t come to your party. It’s raining.”

“Can’t come into work today. It’s raining.”

“I’m not going to the shops today because it’s raining.”

“Gonna have to cancel our lunch date – rain.”

Granted, this week’s storms did actually give us something to worry about (I personally was quietly crapping myself in the middle of the night when the second one rolled in). People did lose their shit roofs or is it rooves? Why is my brain not working? They lost that stuff that sits on top of our houses and keeps us dry. That thing. They lost those. And cars, trees and fences. And I can’t be entirely sure, but I think people lost their cats too. I heard cats in the night and it sounded like they were flying.

Sleep deprivation…

I started to feel like the zombie apocalypse was finally arriving. There was a sense of excitement and electricity in the air (which is ironic because no-one had any electricity). Shops were selling out of generators and torches and dry food. People were lined up at MacDonalds as far as the eye could see so that they wouldn’t have to go home and cook in the dark on camp stoves. People were getting crazy at the petrol stations. GOTTA GET TO THE SERVO IN CASE THEY LOSE THEIR POWER AND I CAN’T GET FUEL! My gran even had to buy me a sandwich, because I didn’t have cash on me and all of the EFTPOS machines were down at one point. That’s gotta be a Category 1, Code Red right there.

Worst thing? I lost mobile phone service. I couldn’t charge my iPhone. My go-to boredom busting fallback was no longer available for anything except emergency calls and sparse tweets (priorities, people). People were driving to each others’ houses to check they were alive after the phones went down. Somehow we all had time to comment on the storm via Facebook, but that’s neither here nor there.

The local (almost derelict) shopping centre was shut due to lack of power…where I swear that just for a tiny instant everyone sighed with relief and thought, “Phew. Now I won’t have to go there for a while.”

I have to admit that the wind was very scary and loud. It made interior doors bang and rattle in my house. It whistled and swirled and shook everything on my property at least just a little bit. I LOST A POT PLANT. I lost a pot plant. I just typed that twice to emphasise the emotion that it deserves.

With no electricity I had to play with my Little Mister by torchlight and act like there was nothing different going on. Nothing to worry about. He looked at me a bit strangely, like “Dude – this isn’t right” but he played along. I bathed him in the dark (luckily I have gas hot water and not electric). I had to sleep near his room when the baby monitors weren’t working. He was a little trooper. On a more serious note, I did feel so much more responsibility than before. I had someone to protect beside myself now!

This stressed me the eff out. I won’t lie. But I stayed cool (on the outside) and I stayed strong. We survived the fallen pot plant of 2012.

Pic: Viral meme on Facebook (appears to link back to someone called Kelly Pitman)

Here’s my advice to my fellow Western Australians.

Buy shoes. Real ones. You don’t need a lot. Just maybe one pair. Something to protect your feet from scary puddles and stuff.

Also, buy a jumper and a rain coat. I know it’s expensive and you might only need them twice a year, but one day you’ll really need them.You don’t want to catch a common cold. That’s just nasty.

Business owners: Provide heating, shelter, and somewhere for our wet umbrellas in the winter. Oh and electricity.

Drivers: Turn on your headlights when there is heavy cloud and/or rain. Drive to the conditions. Don’t freak out and do weird things. It’s just water.

In the case of power failure, calm down. It’s just like camping except you’re in your own house. Which is stronger than a tent. So you’re cool, right?

Also, if rain and wind were enough to stop a whole city – how would Melbournians survive on the other side of the country? Wind and rain are totally their thing. They just get on with it.

You’re all welcome.