Tag: mothers group

The Happy List #50: Birthday Week edition.

Last week was my 33rd birthday week. Not just a day, but a week! I sure know how to milk something for all its worth haha. But y’know, sometimes you have to stagger out some of the celebration/s and somehow it just becomes one big festival of birthday. I am not complaining! I think being alive for another year is always something to celebrate, whether you’re 1 or 100! Or you know, some kind of obscure, non impressive, non-milestone number like 33. Although, 3 is my lucky number, so two of them next to each other has to be a good omen, right? RIGHT? Oh goodness, I hope so!

I had so so much to be happy about in the past week or so and I sincerely thank everyone who had anything to do with me enjoying my birthday so much. You’re awesome.

Here are just some of the many things that made me feel happy…

Celebrating with my MG (we’ve been over this – it stands for mums’ group)

We don’t just celebrate our kids’ birthdays, but our own too, and I was so excited to have a girls’ night out! Not only do these girls have my back in so many tough situations, but they’re a shitload (technical mathematical term) of fun to hang out with in the good times too. We had dinner and I had pork belly and mojitos and the bitches wouldn’t let me pay for anything and they surprised me with a gorgeous gift and man, am I a lucky girl.

Our night after that was just an average bogan night on the home town (if you lived here you would understand 😂), but good company made it so awesome. We danced to ‘pub rock’ played by a cover band, the 40 something year old front man sporting dyed black hair and a ginormous flavour savour – which is how all pub rock should be delivered – and sang all the back up vocals loudly from the dance floor whether anyone wanted us to or not. I really think that classic pub rock playlists have not changed one bit since before I was born and that it is quite amusing.

It felt really good to be out and about, with a new outfit and a face of make up too. Feeling like I’d actually made an effort! What a novelty!

Getting my guitar out

Some of you may have already seen my Insta story on the topic, but basically I hadn’t played my guitar since some time in 2010. It’s a beauty and she’s as good as new because sadly, she got put away not too long after I received her as a birthday gift from Mr Unprepared back then. We had a quite terrible year that year, followed by a year in which we became parents (which is awesome but time consuming – HA HA HA) and I just never picked it up again. Just kept it in its bag and moved it from room to room.

I’d mentioned to Mr Unprepared that I’d love to get playing again (especially to share the joy of music with the Little Mister), but that I’d like to get a few things for it first. He listened and he took care of everything! I walked into my office on my birthday morning to find my beautiful baby with new strings, a flash tuner, a new stand and even a matching pick.

AMAZING. She’s more beautiful than I remembered and she sounds AWESOME. I am so grateful. I’ve got to face the fact that I will have to cut my beautiful manicure short to play properly but that’s OK haha.

Turns out I only remember how to play (I use the term ‘play’ very loosely – I’m no musical prodigy) Blink 182 songs…might be time to update my repertoire (and grow out a nice flavour savour BAHAHA).

Dinner with my little family

I appreciate any family bonding time as a little family of 3 so much. We hadn’t been out to dinner, just the three of us, in so long. It was so great. Of course we laughed our arses off at being in the restaurant at 5:30pm (a five year old’s hangry meltdown avoidance strategy) – it was empty! Mr Unprepared joked that he’d booked the whole place out just for us for my birthday. He thought he was Kanye West or some shit. It was great, though. The Little Mister was very well behaved and if he occasionally forgot his indoor voice, nobody was there to notice!

The food was great (it was so well presented I felt like a Masterchef judge when I shoved a fork into it) and the mojito was strong. Perfect! I think we should do that more often, birthdays or no birthdays!

Online splurging shopping

On my birthday, I was feeling really disillusioned with the current clothes shopping situation in my home town. There’s not a whole lot of variety to choose from at present. I was feeling frumpy again and I wasn’t sure if I’d have anything cute to wear for my girls’ night out. I also realised that I lacked a great casual wardrobe that is easy to put together as we transition from summer to autumn to winter. It’s that weird in-betweeny time.

Luckily, I remembered that I had internet access and some birthday money! After some false starts (dodgy aforementioned internet and some crap where I had to call my bank), I finally picked out a great wardrobe for myself (with everything 40% off)! Almost every top and skirt will mix and match, can be layered up for winter and should be fat day/PMS proof (fingers crossed I’ve nailed the sizing because I fluctuate like a mofo)! SO EXCITING. I am impatiently awaiting delivery!!

Getting my hair did

I was very excited to make a hair appointment for the first time since August 2016. My hair was getting really long and I would describe the style as blaaaaaaaaaaah. I was quite over it.

I went to my fave salon and they did some magical shit. We’re working on gradually lightening some panels under the top layers so I can rock some rainbow inspired hair (currently the turquoise is working for me). Which means I’ll have to go back again soon. Bummer. NOT!

I also got a beautiful cut – a long bob which falls just right – because my hairdresser is a genius. SO GOOD.

I know it’s such a cliche thing to say, but there’s nothing like a fresh hair style/colour to really make you feel good about yourself. It has given me such a boost!

It can be a bit hard to keep this stuff up financially, but I think I will try harder this year to prioritise it.

Other stuff that has made me happy:

  • Wrapping up my 100 happy days photo challenge – more on that later…
  • Absolutely nailing my ANZAC biscuit making
  • The Little Mister attending his very first ANZAC Day dawn service (and being so good)
  • Lilac fingernails
  • Surviving the school holidays with only a couple of “OMFG WHEN WILL THIS END” moments
  • Nailing all of my self care goals for the week – it felt so self indulgent but I must have really needed it – been through the wringer and back with all of the infertility/fertility stuff I guess
  • The Little Mister’s musings about just about anything (as long as he isn’t interrupting the grown ups incessantly or whingeing of course haha). He makes me laugh.

What has made you feel happy lately?

January 2012: Post pregnancy hair fall.

I wrote this in January 2012 (yes…2 whole years ago). I promptly forgot to publish it. Was probably the baby brain. Enjoy…

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It’s started. I heard this could happen, but I tried not to think about it. I just swished my beautiful voluminous, swishy hair over my shoulder and said to myself, “Pfft. As if! Not me!”

What am I talking about? I’m talking about the fact that while my Little Mister’s hair seems to be growing longer and thicker (and higher) every day, my own hair is falling out in handfuls. And that doesn’t count the hair that literally falls out of my head in baby handfuls (apparently my hair is a wonderful rope for babies to hold onto). Look, I’ll admit it. In the past (BC: Before Child) I was known to occasionally block a shower drain with my moulting tresses. Just ask my husband. However, now I am losing my precious strands all day every day! I don’t think I would ordinarily notice so much, but when you have a baby within a couple of inches from your face all the time, it’s pretty obvious. I find myself picking my hairs off his nappies, out of his tiny hands (oh and for those who don’t know, trivial fact – babies get hand lint like bellybutton lint but in their hands), off his face and any clothing or wraps I use for him.

I am afraid that one day I will lose him and won’t think to check the pile of hair in his cot. That will be the scariest day of my life.

This hair loss has something to do with pregnancy hormones leaving my body. Or something. Either way, it’s hormonal. But only I’m allowed to blame anything on hormones. Men should never blame things on a woman’s hormones, just a heads up. It won’t end well.

Today at my New Parents Group (A PC way of saying Mothers Group), we were given a big double sided sheet of “pleasurable” activities we should partake in so that we get in some of that precious “me time” everyone keeps talking about. I haven’t read it properly, but besides reading erotica or playing golf (no joke) I am sure it says something about getting a hair cut/style done. I don’t think I’ll have any hair left to work with so perhaps I should buy me some Mills and Boon while having a putt. We’re supposed to complete something on that list before next week’s Mothers Group as homework (although no-one’s going to check – let’s be honest). I think I’ll just stare at a blank wall and see what fatigue induced hallucinations I can conjure up. Surely, staring at a blank wall is on the list.

An open letter to my mothers’ group.

As we (all too rapidly) approach the Little Mister’s first birthday, I have a few posts planned to celebrate not only him, but my first year of parenthood. This is the first one – an open letter to my mothers’ group (I used an apostrophe because it’s totally ours as well as us being a sum of mothers in the plural sense – don’t know why I felt the need to explain…). 

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Dearest Mothers’ Group,

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year of parenthood and almost a year of knowing you ladies. I remember being nervous when I received the letter from the hospital inviting me to meet up with other parents who had babies the same age as the Little Mister. We were asked to attend a six week course of sorts at the community health centre where we would learn lots of helpful things about parenting a newborn. First, I was nervous about what to bring. I was so new and green with everything so I overpacked the Little Mister’s bag every single week! You would think our session was going to be a camping trip, not a couple of hours! You’ll laugh now, but I had packed so many more bottles than the Little Mister would be able to drink in one day, enough nappies to soak up the Indian Ocean and so many spare outfits in case he had a few disasters! My bag was packed to the brim. Funny thing is, I had planned every outing so that the Little Mister wouldn’t need feeding while we were there. I put a new nappy on him at the last possible moment before leaving home, to avoid having to change him on the change table provided in the room. I was so overawed by my parenting responsibilities!

Before I had the Little Mister, I had heard horror stories of big groups of mothers gathering together. I’d heard of catty comments, competitiveness and the pressure to be with the ‘in’ crowd. I’d heard mothers’ groups could be a horrible experience if you were grouped with the wrong people and that it could get cliquey and stressful. I decided to attend these first meetings with an open mind. I would soak up the parenting information as best as I could, but I wouldn’t put any pressure on myself to become friends with you all or to make myself continue to meet with the group after the health centre meetings ended if it didn’t seem right for me. Of course I hoped it would turn out well, and it did. You won’t believe how much pressure I placed on myself as a new mum (or maybe you will). I wanted to be the perfect parent in every way. I drove myself (and my husband dare I say it) up the wall! As you all may know, I didn’t have the best pregnancy, an ideal birth or an easy time recovering. I believe I had fought off depression a few times (getting perilously close), and although I am so proud I beat those negative thoughts and feelings and that I was strong, it left with me an obsession with getting everything right. So much had gone wrong already and now was my chance to be ‘perfect’ and happy. I had to make everything go ‘right’.

I felt embarrassed because I couldn’t exclusively breastfeed and I dreaded the moment the topic would come up in our first meeting together. I was (stupidly) scared to admit that we were feeding the Little Mister formula because my supply never got to a satisfactory level due to several factors (stress, being separated for three days right after the birth and being sick – on intense courses of antibiotics in the hospital). I now know it wasn’t so bad. In fact, I’m proud that I managed to do what I could despite the circumstances, but at the time I was so fearful of judgement from anyone and everyone! What I’m getting to in my roundabout way, is that the defining moment for me was when you all started sharing your diverse birth stories and various feelings surrounding breastfeeding. Some of you were fortunate enough to breastfeed really well (go you guys!) and some of you, like me, hadn’t had an easy time of it. We talked about the pressure we’d felt in the hospital to breastfeed successfully for the prescribed 6 months (at least) in order to be a good parent and I suddenly relaxed. I wasn’t alone. We were all going to get along just fine! My nerves dissipated almost instantly. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart, ladies.

I love how much we’ve all learnt and grown together. Our Facebook page has been a lifesaver. A sanity saver. Have a question? Ask the girls. Feeling confused about an issue, thinking you’re the only one, someone else will post about the very same thing. It’s been very comforting and we’ve celebrated all those special little milestones with our precious bubs together. I love that there is a way to see some of you just about every week – a way to fill our days together and get out of the house, and it’s been so amazing watching our little ones grow (and steal each other’s biscuits)…

I will admit that sometimes it gets a little overwhelming. Sometimes I just have to switch off from all the mummy talk and take a little break from the Facebook page or various meet-ups. I sometimes forget to nurture who I am outside of being a parent (a stay at home mum curse perhaps?), so I have to balance things out a bit more. What I love about you all is that you give me that space if I need it. We respect each others’ space and busy lives. All of us are so different to each other in so many ways, but I think we each bring something unique and special to the group. I don’t know what my ‘thing’ is exactly (besides leaving the longest comments ever on Facebook – I’m a writer and I’m a chatterbox – I am so sorry!!!), but I hope I am a good friend and that you feel my support.

The fact that we break all those mothers-at-war-with-each-other stereotypes warms my heart.

Congratulations – we’re all awesome and we’ve survived the first year with our first children!!! 🙂

Thankyou all.

Love (and cuddles to your bubs),

Kez.

PS. ARE WE READY FOR FIRST BIRTHDAY MAYHEM?!?! IT’S ALMOST UPON US!!!! xoxo

 

Are you a part of a mothers’/parenting group? How has your experience been? Are you from my mothers’ group? Feel free to say hi!

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