Tag: memories

It’s December, so please excuse me but OMFG CHRISTMAS TIME.

I have made no secret of it but I freakin’ love Christmas time. Sometimes people try to mess it up with their grinchy ways, but even that has never stopped me from being as enthusiastic as fuck. I love the quality time with the Little Mister – the novelty of school holidays hasn’t worn off yet and there’s so much fun stuff to do. I love giving myself permission to do all of the festive things the moment the 1st of December ticks over! None of this ‘right after Halloween’ shit over here. I am the kind of person who thinks it’s more special to wait until December – not when the big retailers tell me to start buying!

Sure, this year, I have had to start a bit of gift shopping early so I could tick things off before the Little Mister finishes school and I get too fatigued (my belly would give Santa a run for his money right now ho ho ho)! But other than that, the decorations and the baking and the tree have had to wait! I’m a stickler like that!

So you can imagine the level of excitement I feel when the 1st of December arrives!

Here are the things I love doing the most:

Watching the movie Elf

It’s ridiculous, it’s cheesy, it’s got so many hilarious quotes from Will Ferrell’s character Buddy the Elf. I can’t help but love it. I am sure this movie is the kind you either are obsessed with or cannot stand and would rather bash yourself over the head with a blunt object than watch it a second time…but I will never tire of it!

One of the best things I’ve ever done is brainwash the Little Mister into loving it! We sit together and we laugh at every funny line, singing along with every musical number. SO GOOD.

One year, he wanted to be referred to as Buddy the Elf for like two straight weeks. This was the kid who normally couldn’t stand for anyone to call him anything but his full name (first and surname) at the time!

via GIPHY

Decorating the tree

It’s messy, I feel like the (plastic) tree we have used for a decade is looking a little tired, and each year I wonder how the hell I have managed to accumulate so many new decorations (oops), but when I see the Little Mister’s happiness and I think about how special it is for his dad to lift him up so he can chuck the star we bought in Kmart on top of that fake foliage, it makes me smile.

The tree never looks Instagram perfect, with the Little Mister putting a bunch of ornaments all on one branch and the tinsel being too sparse, but I really don’t care. It’s perfect to me. I refuse to re-decorate it once he’s out of sight.

We play the least cheesiest Christmas songs we can find and make an occasion out of it. It’s a special time.

via GIPHY

Baking

This year might not be quite the same level of fun (thanks to gestational diabetes), but luckily I love the actual process of baking more than I love eating what I’ve made. Well…just. Haha.

I love sharing the experience with the Little Mister, I love giving away the things we make to the people we love. I like all the red and green sprinkles because DUH. The stuff we make at Christmas time is so different to what we make throughout the year. It’s the best.

Maybe I can’t eat any of it this year, but I hope to make up for this come Christmas 2018, I can tell you now! Do you think anyone would care if I had a make up Christmas in July after the baby is here? Would that be breaking my own ‘no Christmas before December’ rule too much? ūüėú

via GIPHY

Preparing for Santa’s arrival

Sometimes (OK so all the time LOL) I miss our before-children tradition of hitting the local bars on Christmas Eve (just to make sure we were nice and seedy by Christmas morning haha), but now I do really get a thrill out of helping the Little Mister to get everything ready for Santa’s overnight visit. We make some goodies for him (and add some carrots for the reindeer). We put the sack out so it can be filled with pressies (Santa’s elves sure like building presents that look just like the stuff from Kmart ūü§Ē). We put a special, magical key out so that Santa can get into the house even though we don’t have a chimney or a fire place (the Little Mister’s very inquisitive and from a very early age we had to think of a way to help Santa so he didn’t freak out about the logistics). We squish up on the Little Mister’s bed and read a Christmas story book together.

One day he will not believe anymore, but I know that he will enjoy helping us to keep the magic alive for his little sister for much longer and that is something I look forward to as well.

via GIPHY

The buzzing social atmosphere

We live in the kind of hometown where people tend to spread far and wide, only to return for special times of the year, like Christmas. It’s a great time for catching up with those we have missed throughout the year. There are Christmas parades, pretty lights, barbecues with family friends, the occasional child free lunch on the water (no mojitos for me this time ūüė©). I think that this year I might be a bit less able to keep up, but it is nice to run into familiar faces around the place and just feel that lovely holiday vibe.

via GIPHY

What do you love about December? 

Taking Stock: November 2017.

How is it November?! I’m not complaining, though. I need this year to fly by! I want to meet my baby and I want my rash to go away! Not going to lie. It’s been a bit rough. But I’m here and I’m fighting. Most of the time. I mean, occasionally I have a cry in the bath and feel like my whole world is caving in, but I have a support system second to none and I am very grateful.

It’s time for me to take stock again (as I do every couple of months). Here’s where I’m at…

Making:¬†social plans for the next couple of weeks has made me feel a little better, mentally. I’ve sort of had a lull in my calendar – sometimes just bad timing and other times my PUPPP rash¬† exhausted me too much. I hope I can strike the right balance between trying to do too much and doing not enough. I need to be out in the world, keeping perspective, limiting my (literal) navel gazing time and feeling like a social creature who doesn’t totally suck at life!

Cooking:¬†healthier dinners lately. I probably still need to cut down on carbs a little, but overall, I am striking a pretty good balance between protein and veggies, cutting out more sodium and sugar. I am trying to clean things up a bit in order to prepare myself for what I fear will be an inevitable diagnosis of gestational diabetes after I’ve had my glucose tolerance test (GTT) in another week or so (I had gestational diabetes the first time around with the Little Mister). I’m not perfect, though. I can’t quite totally quit chocolate or ice-cream. I know. I know.

Drinking: water.

Reading:¬†In Order to Live by Yeonmi Park – it’s about a North Korean woman’s journey to freedom. I am so fascinated by those stories. Admittedly, I am reading this book super slowly. It’s kind of the thing I read when I can’t sleep but I don’t want to keep myself awake with social media or Netflix or something. I’m not saying the book is boring and puts me to sleep of course, haha. It’s just a soothing way to pass time until I’m ready to snooze! Because North Korea’s plight is so relaxing…SHUT UP, KEZ.

Wanting:¬†what I can’t have. Normal skin. To not be itchy. But I have to accept that this is not my reality. I really have to work on that.

Looking: like a hot mess lately. But I have a nice hair cut. So I have that going for me.

Playing:¬†Instagram stories, while lying on my bed under the air con, has become my favourite ‘time out’ thing to do.

Deciding: on where to meet a friend for brunch in a couple of weekends.

Wishing:¬†there were more clothing options for me these days. I need soft, non irritating, flattering, non-rash revealing, maternity friendly clothing that doesn’t require difficult bra situations. Not a big ask, right? Wrong haha. WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL?

Enjoying: The Good Place on Netflix. I have the HUGEST girl crush on Kristen Bell, by the way.

via GIPHY

Waiting: for the weekend.

Liking: quirky earrings. I want to become on of those people who collects them.

Wondering: if my rash will ever calm down enough that I can get through an entire week without a mental breakdown. That would be nice.

Loving: online shopping. If only my bank account loved it too. Biding my time until I can splurge next!

via GIPHY

Pondering: on things for too long tends to drive me crazy at the moment. I have got to think less.

Considering:¬†putting my dog inside for a while. She’s so bloody cranky and barks at everything she hears outside of our yard. I’m constantly policing her. She’s old and gives no fucks. But I give them. I worry about her pissing the neighbours off.

Buying: broccolini a lot lately. I am obsessed. OBSESSED.

Watching:¬†a lot of chick flicks lately. When Mr Unprepared can’t watch our favourite Netflix shows with me, it’s all I have to fall back on!¬†

Hoping:¬†I can find the motivation/energy to finish the baby’s nursery before Christmas. I really want to be able to relax and enjoy the festive season, knowing it’s all done. I have a colour scheme all decided on – I just need to put it all into action.

Marvelling:¬†at how term 4 of the school year is just about halfway done. It’s crazy how time flies. I am so excited to spend the holidays with the Little Mister.

Cringing: at the mess on my bedside table. I keep dumping stuff there. I really need to sort it out.

Needing: sanity. Anyone got some to share?

Questioning: myself. Constantly. Against my better judgement.

Smelling:¬†like an old man who has just sat by a campfire, when I get out of the bath these days. I have to soothe myself using this stuff called Pinetarsol and it smells weird but usually works – unless I’m too stressed. The key is to not get too stressed before I soak myself. I laugh at the fact that half of the bath oil’s name is pretty much ‘arsehole’.

Wearing: a Target maxi dress. Remind me to put my bra back on before school pick up, please.

Following:¬†some really great kids’ clothing brands on social media.

Noticing: that the inside of my left arm is starting to get itchy *eye rolls*

Knowing: that there will be a beautiful baby at the end of this rough fertility/pregnancy journey makes it worthwhile.

Thinking: about all the amazing things that are in store for my little family in 2018 is really exciting.

Admiring: people who can find the humour in anything.

Sorting: nothing out haha.

Getting:¬†cool (and therefore less itchy) under the air con is my new favourite thing. I am scared of what our power bill will be, but honestly, it’s a small price to pay for my sanity (or some semblance of it at least).

Bookmarking:¬†Christmas gift ideas. I’m secretly stoked that Halloween is over because now I am allowed to fully embrace the fact that Christmas is coming. I mean, I won’t decorate anything until December (I mean GEEZ – CALM DOWN) but I do love to think about it and plan stuff.

via GIPHY

Coveting:¬†any clothing that will make me feel attractive, when I’m feeling the least attractive.

Disliking: idiots. Self explanatory haha.

Opening:¬†up about my more difficult feelings during this pregnancy has been really hard. I’m working on it. It’s not easy being vulnerable. Even with the people who have got your back the most. Yesterday I had to actually send my husband a messenger message to tell him how I was struggling because I couldn’t make my mouth work to say the words out loud.

Giggling: a little on the phone with my mum today was really healing.

Feeling:¬†depressed and anxious lately. It’s been rough. I think I went from the trauma of infertility, the stress of IVF, straight into pregnancy, and then that pregnancy got difficult before I could process anything. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. All I can do is take the best care of myself and let others do the same for me too. I am strong. Only way is through!

Snacking: on Top Deck chocolate is my weakness. Remind me of this when my gestational diabetes diagnosis comes in.

Helping: myself by letting others help me is the lesson of the week for me.

Hearing: my favourite music always cheers me up.

Taking Stock: September 2017.

Hello, beautiful people!

Every couple of months I like to capture a moment in time by ‘taking stock’ (a great idea thought up by Pip at Meet Me at Mike’s). It allows me to slow down and really record what life is like on a particular day and I know it’s self indulgent but I enjoy reading these back months later!

Here we go…

Making:¬†my mind up to make the best of this Monday wasn’t really easy this morning but I think I’m getting there! It’s been an exhausting couple of weeks.

Cooking: a good old pasta bake from a jar tonight. A crowd pleaser that will hopefully go down well (and be easy to make) when our nephew stays the night.

Drinking:¬†I’m a bit obsessed with mineral water and lemon at the moment. Whether I prep it myself, order it at a bar or find the pre-mixed stuff at the shops, I am happy.

Reading:¬†Rosie Waterland’s Every Lie I’ve Ever Told – god damn it’s awesome! She’s so inspiring not just as a person who has gone through some shit and lived to tell the tale, but also as a writer! I am so excited to see her speak later this month!

Wanting:¬†the school holidays to hurry up and arrive! The Little Mister is getting that special kind of ‘end of term feral’ and we are all knackered!

via GIPHY

Looking:¬†like a definitely pregnant person now. There’s no mistaking this bump!

Playing:¬†my ridiculously eclectic Spotify music while I cleaned the house today got me through it. One second it’s all punk rock ¬†and the next it’s Beyonce!

Deciding:¬†on whether to have a snack (like 5 minutes after I finished lunch). I find I’m weird these days. Hungry AF one day, grazing the next. And repeat! I guess that’s what the baby wants haha.

Wishing:¬†for a good night’s sleep. Any night where I sleep through would be amazing right now.

Enjoying:¬†this spring weather!! The sunshine is so good for my soul! I’m also excited for a change in my wardrobe – the best thing about welcoming in a new season!

Waiting:¬†for a parcel to arrive. I’ve got some ASOS maternity goodies coming – yay!

Liking:¬†the fact that I’m recording more steps than I have in a while on my fitbit.

Wondering: if I should get a nice pedicure soon.

Loving:¬†the quiet moment that I’m having right now. Just sitting on the couch with my laptop, taking stock!

Pondering: some thoughts on a potential blog post.

Considering:¬†other people’s feelings goes a long way, I find.

Buying: a new vacuum cleaner is next on my nesting list. I have to wait a bit because we just invested in a family car, but I tell ya Рafter lugging around my temperamental vacuum this morning, I am more than ready to kick it to the kerb for a nifty Dyson number. It will be perfect for when we have another rug rat and I need to do plenty of spot cleans. I am determined to have one before the baby arrives! I WILL HAVE ONE!

Watching:¬†Stranger Things – holy shit it’s good. I didn’t think I’d be into it – it’s more Mr Unprepared’s kind of thing – but it’s great. WHERE THE EFF IS BARB. POOR BARB. Season 2 comes out this month so I think it’s been a good time to start watching!¬†

via GIPHY

Hoping:¬†My dress (that I’m wearing right now) isn’t see through in the sun. I don’t think it is? But I get paranoid about some fabrics. It’s one of the few maternity pieces I own and I really need it to work! I shall walk with my legs pressed together just in case haha. I have tried to test it in the sunlight and I think it’s passable, but still. Paranoid.

Marvelling:¬†at all the ladies who work out like machines while they’re as pregnant as me (and far beyond). I’ve seen those Insta videos. WTF, I can’t even haha. It makes me wish I’d been in much better shape when I fell pregnant so I could comfortably and confidently continue a more rigorous exercise routine. Never mind. I’ll work with what I can! Walking will be my go-to (with a little bit of kitchen dancing of course)!

Cringing:¬†at the awkward exchange I had with the person who stands at the entrance/exit of Kmart today. I always feel awkward when I’m leaving that place! Do I walk right over to them and show them all my receipts and let them check my bags? Or do I just walk straight on out and only stop if they ask me? Or does that make me look guilty? Do I nod and say ‘see ya’ on my way out or do I just leave quietly without a fuss? I overthink these things and then it always gets weird¬†ūüėā

Needing:¬†to gain a little more confidence in dressing my ever changing body. I love having a bump but I still find myself questioning my outfit choices and feeling a little like I’ve not quite nailed it. I am hoping that will change soon.

Questioning:¬†whether or not I’m having a boy or a girl. We’ll find out at 19 weeks or so, hopefully! People ask me if I have a ‘feeling’ about it either way but I genuinely cannot pick it.

Smelling: nothing offensive, which is great considering I just cleaned the house. Carry on.

Wearing:¬†that possibly see through dress I described above, plus a zip up hoodie to keep warm. I took off my olive green bomber jacket so I wouldn’t wreck it while I did housework.

Following:¬†less people on Instagram now. I’ve been trying to curate my feeds a lot more. I realised there were a lot of (perfectly good) accounts I was scrolling on by every single day without feeling the need to interact or give a ‘like’ and that I could probably let them go (and wish them well).

Noticing: that my fingernails are finally growing nicely again after a long stint of gel nails. I had to give them a break because they were getting a bit damaged and I found it hard to maintain everything.

Knowing:¬†that I’m almost half way through my pregnancy already freaks me out! I’ll think about things that are happening late this year or early next year and realise I’ll be a massive, waddling freak by then – yikes haha.

Thinking:¬†about my upcoming plan to eat less sugar and carbs – not to lose weight of course – but to try to avoid a diagnosis of gestational diabetes when I have my 28 week glucose blood tests. I had it last time I was pregnant and it drove me mad. Of course I could just be genetically doomed no matter what I do, but I figure I’ll give this a go anyhow in the weeks leading up to the test. Can’t hurt.

Admiring:¬†mums who have a really amazing sense of humour and who aren’t afraid to keep it real. The kinds of people you won’t see trolling the comment sections of parenting articles on Facebook haha.

Sorting:¬†my wardrobe out last week was soooooo good. So many things I can’t fit in anymore!!!

Getting:¬†my shit together in order to tackle a new week. I’ll get there!

Bookmarking: articles on true crime that I find on Facebook but want to read later.

Coveting: beautiful little baby onesies that I see everywhere in stores and online. I am resisting the urge for a few more weeks at least!

Disliking:¬†“media” outlets that use nasty, divisive clickbait to get people to read their articles on parenting, pregnancy, fertility etc. Regardless of whether the actual article itself is fair, balanced and interesting, you’ve lost me if you’ve used an awful headline to suck people in. It bothers me that this gross tactic actually works. I don’t give these sites my clicks anymore.

via GIPHY

Opening:¬†up about my life again, since announcing my IVF pregnancy has felt so good. I don’t feel writer’s block anymore and I am enjoying documenting everything. It’s probably not everybody’s cup of tea, but that’s OK. I have a bit of a one track mind right now! I get it!

Giggling:¬†at the silliest things makes me happy. Yesterday it was my grandfather’s rather…unique technique for cutting cling wrap. You probably had to be there, but there’s nothing better than a giggle with the fam, right?

Feeling: tired, but good right this minute. The sunshine ALWAYS helps.

Snacking:¬†hasn’t occurred yet, but it might once I finish this post!

Helping:¬†others feels really good when it is appreciated. That’s of course not the main motivation, but it feels good to have positive feedback.

Hearing:¬†the dryer working away. Trying to defluff some towels I just bought. Not succeeding too well. I’m now covered in that fluff (will be a great look at school pick up)! So is the doona my nephew is supposed to sleep under tonight and I have no idea how to effectively remove it in time – eep! I need like a huge doona sized piece of sticky paper haha. #domesticgoddess #not

That shall be a problem for 3 hours from now Kez.

What have you been up to lately?

Taking Stock: March 2017

It’s March already. What the hell. It’s shaping up to be a crazy month and quite honestly, the name ‘Awesomely Unprepared’ has never fit me so well as it does now. It’s time to take stock and capture this moment in time!

Making: The most of the little time I have right now before the Little Mister wakes up for the day.

Cooking: All the ‘sometimes’ foods more than sometimes. Must try harder to keep my diet (not ‘diet’ as in fad diet – ‘diet’ as in nutritional intake) on track.

Drinking: More water.

Reading: Amy Schumer’s book. STILL. OK, so not really actively reading it. BUT I WILL FINISH IT.

Wanting: Our journey with secondary infertility to end as soon as possible, please. I have told myself that 2017 is our year and I really really hope I’m not wrong.

Looking: at my computer. Because I’m blogging. Duh.

Playing: all my favourite music on Spotify on the drive home (alone) from the city on Friday was the perfect treat. I don’t usually do it because it eats up some data (I can’t download the songs to my phone because it’s chockers and has no memory available), but it was worth it. I don’t usually use much data anyway, so I think I’ll do this more as I’ll be up and down to the city a lot this month. When my data’s low, I’ll play all the podcasts I never get to listen to! It will be my version of me-time!

Deciding: on things and owning those decisions without doubting myself or caring too much about what other people will think is easier said than done but I’m working on it.

Wishing: I didn’t constantly feel like I’m fighting off a cold.

Enjoying: a very low key long weekend, socially.

Waiting: for new seasons of Catfish and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I know. It’s sad of me.

Liking: the fact that on this public holiday Monday, I haven’t had to worry about getting the Little Mister to school. A reprieve!

Wondering: why the Little Mister is up so early. I just heard his bedroom door. I know he’ll be good and stay in his room but that’s weird, anyhow.

Loving: my sleep lately. I’m not getting enough (7 hours or less on average) but I’m falling asleep nice and early without spending hours lying in bed waiting for the Zzzs to come.

Pondering: a lot of things. Because over thinker.

Considering: what I want to do with my day.

Buying: a new dress for a wedding soon. I do not know for sure if I’ll make it to the wedding, but damn it, I’m buying the outfit anyway.

Watching: a lot of Ellen lately. I’ve become a cliched housewife. I watch Ellen when I need to be cheered up. I have heaps of episodes saved onto my DVR to watch at any time haha.¬†

Hoping: So much hoping.

Marvelling: at my resilience. That makes me sound up myself, but sometimes I just don’t know how I keep getting up again and again. I’m glad I do.

Cringing: at the last couple of days and my emotional rollercoaster.

Needing: more alone time. I’m just feeling so greedy for it lately. I’ve already got it fairly good, but I’m craving prolonged solitude!

Questioning: my own judgement. Seems to be a theme with me at the moment.

Smelling: Nothing. My nose has been a bit stuffy.

Wearing: an old singlet that I’ve loved so much over the years, the fabric has taken on a PJ like quality so now I just wear it to bed anyhow.

Following: every Facebook article about Married at First Sight. I’m disgusted with myself haha.

Noticing: a new pimple on my jawline. Lucky me.

Knowing: when to follow your head vs your heart is really tricky.

Thinking: about my life, my relationships, the future.

Admiring: People who have survived struggles similar to mine. Makes me feel like I’m not alone and that there’s hope.

Sorting: the junk in my spare room is a task that haunts me. It’s always the first thing to drop off the priority list when life gets busy. GAH!

Getting: out of bed today will be hard to do. I’m so comfy.

Bookmarking: the result of personality type quiz I did. Apparently I’m an ENFP? I am not 100% sure that completely nails who I am but I want to read over it a lot more and think about it!

Coveting: ALL THE CLOTHES. I’ve only recently discovered that I like clothes shopping again. Now I want all the things that make me feel good. Party clothes, casual clothes, activewear, autumn winter stuff – basically every damn thing haha.

Disliking: the fact that I often chicken out of wearing a bright lipstick. I rock those bright colours and I should stop worrying that it’s ‘too much’.

Opening: the new app I got to track my food (it’s like a visual food diary). It’s called ‘Ate’ (in case you’re interested) and you take a photo of everything you eat or drink and decide whether this food is going to help you with your health goals or not. I think it’s going to be very interesting in keeping me accountable! Note: yesterday I was literally 0% on track hahaha. OOPS.

Giggling: at just about everything on Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been my nightly therapy. Don’t you just love when a TV show nails your exact sense of humour?

Feeling: a bit crappy. But OK.

Snacking: has been an issue for me this weekend. I must remember to only eat when I’m genuinely hungry!!

Helping: the Little Mister under the covers for a morning snuggle makes me happy.

Hearing: the Little Mister nagging me for breakfast!


What have you been up to lately?

Back to School anxiety: mine, not his.

It’s January. That time when it sinks in that the school holidays are not as long as you thought they were and you feel that downward slide back to reality. Another school year, filled with trying to remember stuff and being on time for drop offs and pick ups and SO MANY LUNCHES to be made.

I am looking forward to the Little Mister attending pre-primary full time. I imagine the first few weeks will be full of exhausted after school meltdowns, but I am excited to be able to spread my work hours out over the week more evenly and feel a lot more productive.

The thing is, I get anxious. Anxious that he will fit in and do OK compared to the other kids. Anxious that he’ll be anxious. Anxious that I will forget a whole lot of stuff or be totally awkward in the lead up to the first day back – book lists and the dreaded uniform shop visits (I swear I can never remember what hours or days they’re open).

I know it won’t be as bad as last year. Last year I was a wreck. The Little Mister was starting kindy at the same place I went to high school. I was having all kinds of flashbacks to my time there (nothing horrendous or obviously we wouldn’t send him there – just freak outs because I felt like I was still the student trying to be on my best behaviour and not get in trouble haha). I had never sent a kid to school before. I felt like I was still a kid. How was this happening?! Sure, we’d done day care a couple of days a week in 2015, but this was a big deal!

I had missed an orientation day because I screwed up the dates (and then my husband had unexpected surgery on his toe which would have meant we couldn’t make it anyway). I’d had a couple of false starts trying to get to the uniform shop (see – I messed up their opening hours then too haha). I hadn’t submitted my online booklist order on time, so had to send Mr Unprepared out to scramble for each individual item (which made me nervous because obviously if we got the wrong stuff we’d be outcasts forever haha). I was also feeling like a hot mess for a variety of reasons that had nothing to do with the the Little Mister’s schooling. I was not on top of things. I really was not. Even reading this paragraph back tells me that I was not in the running for “Mum of the Year”.

This year, I feel a little more settled. I know the school. I know the Little Mister has come a long way since the beginning of 2016. I’ve met a bunch of really nice school mums and I know I will meet a whole bunch more. I’ve got my shit sorted on a nice calendar now, which I keep updated. I have planned the final weeks of the school holidays so that I have everything done in time.

But still, I feel nervous. Of course I don’t show the Little Mister this and I really hope he can’t tell. He gets nervous enough on his own, truth be told.

I feel bummed that it’s not all holiday fun and games right now in my head anymore (even though that kid is driving me up the wall and ultimately I will be grateful to have dropped him off that first day haha).

I feel silly for being nervous and I feel like I’m wasting these precious last weeks worrying about school stuff when there’s still fun to be had. I’ve really got to get over myself! Just tick something off the list and then go have a blast, Kez. Seriously, woman!

Just like last year, we will survive this one too. I was struggling to get my head around a whole lot of stuff in 2016 (finally beginning treatment for infertility for one and in all honesty grief – grief that my little boy was starting school already and had no siblings that I’d always hoped to give him by the time he started kindy) and I think I should be kind to myself. It was a rough and scary year from beginning to end.

2017 may or may not be any better, but at least I will kind of know what to expect (probably jinxing myself right there).

Awesomely a little less unprepared, maybe?

Maybe one day, my heart won’t leap up into my throat when my child starts a new school year. Please tell me this gets easier! Lie to me if you have to!

Does anyone else get nervous like me? Am I …normal? Or a silly freak?¬†

 

Throwback Thursday: Getting married before social media.

The other day, I was looking in the back of the kitchen cupboard for some serving bowls I hadn’t used for a really long time (we should really have people over more often) and I stumbled upon an old cake container (the kind my mum used to have). I wondered why I still had it and opened it up. Inside were the beautiful sugar flowers from the top of our wedding cake (we got married in 2007). I’d forgotten I had them! They were in great condition, although a tiny bit faded. I was transported back in time and I am still impressed at how talented our cake lady was.

I wondered why I had forgotten a detail like that. Then I realised that I do not have many photos of the wedding cake. Sure, there are a couple of us cutting it, but nothing really close up. I guess it didn’t occur to us. It seemed out of character for me as I like to photograph and post just about everything these days (guilty over sharer/memory keeper)! Of course I popped a photo of the flowers straight onto Instagram as soon as I rediscovered them – ha!

Thing is, we got married (and planned our wedding) at least two years before Facebook really took off over here for most of my friends and I (according to Facebook’s ‘memories’)! Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter didn’t exist! Myspace was still the coolest and I probably had a blog, but nothing was what it is now online, that’s for sure! Posting was not always easy – I didn’t even have an iPhone or a data plan for whatever I was using! Looking at the internet on your phone wasn’t even a thing unless you were tech obsessed and rich!

I sound really old, right?

There were no hashtags for a wedding #kezgetshitchedtothatguy¬†or etiquette required about how soon was too soon to post about the wedding if it wasn’t your wedding and whether you should allow people to use social media during the ceremony etc.

We even had disposable cameras (with film in them) on each table at the reception (yes – digital cameras were totally a thing by then but film was still around you guys)!

There were no rolling Instagram/Pinterest feeds to show me how terrible my wedding would look in comparison to every stranger’s ever and to make me feel like I had to spend a million bucks to have all the things people expect at weddings today. But in saying that, there were no fantastically easy-to-access boutique Facebook/Instagram businesses to add that really unique, affordable touch to the big day! Pinterest would have been so handy for collating ideas while googling my future wedding to within an inch of its life!

eBay was a thing but online shopping was definitely not as prevalent or as easy and reliable as it is now.

Our wedding was simple and elegant (and while it was not going to feature on Australia’s Cheapest Weddings it was certainly not what people seem to be spending on average these days) and while social media might have given it that extra something aesthetically, both in terms of shopping/planning and for the recording of memories, I am kind of relieved to not have to have dealt with the noise of comparing our big day to everybody else’s or feeling pressured to ‘keep up’ and I think it did mean less distractions on the day for everyone involved.

Our wedding would probably be considered pretty basic by today’s wedding standards, but I don’t mind at all. It’s kind of a relief that we got married just before before these¬†overly documented times.

Did you get married just before or after social media became a thing? How do you feel about it? 

2015 in review: The forgettable stuff.

Each year I like to write about the unremarkable stuff that happened during the year. Or the stuff that didn’t quite make the blog (which admittedly will be a lot of things because I don’t think I wrote as much as I could have this year). I figure everyone would know the best bits, the highlights, most of the stuff that was a BIG DEAL already. I usually wait until after Christmas, but right before New Year’s Eve to post this stuff, but I decided to jump the gun a bit this year.

So here’s the forgettable stuff that I have found, looking back through my paper diary and at my old social media posts…

Sounds riveting, doesn’t it?¬†

January

In January, I noticed that money was mysteriously appearing in our bank account. Money that could not be accounted for. It was turning up every month right at the time when Mr Unprepared usually got paid, so it was difficult to notice at first – we were very busy and in holiday budgeting mode (i.e. a little bit more relaxed than usual). I know, right? FREE MONEY. But nothing is ever free, and being the painfully honest person that I am, I was determined to find the rightful recipient. Also, I knew that if the mistake was ever noticed, the money could all be taken back out at once in a huge lump sum and we’d be broke and lose the house and never eat again (I might be exaggerating but you get the idea that it would be hugely inconvenient and would hurt). Several visits to the bank ensued.¬†The money just kept on coming, though. These people really wanted me to be rich from doing nothing. I started to wonder who was so rich they didn’t notice these substantial (for us) payments weren’t coming in every month? If that was me, I’d be all like “Where the eff is my money? It’s been a month! I’ve got bills!”

I’ll never be a Kardashian.

Finally, after an¬†email sent to a mysterious accounting/investment firm, all was solved and I no longer have to fantasise that I’m receiving illegal funds involved in some kind of elaborate underworld money laundering scam. I have quite the imagination when I’m stressed haha.

When I wasn’t at the bank, I was at the beach according to my Facebook photos, so I guess things were still pretty good!

February

Mr Unprepared sold his car on Gumtree. I thought I’d be soooooo hilarious and troll him with a message asking about the vehicle. Let’s just say it didn’t go quite as planned (as evidenced by my Facebook status at the time)…

So…if somebody trolls their significant other’s Gumtree ad with a message enquiring about their vehicle, adding “what’s your favourite colour and do you believe in unicorns?” to the generic message template provided by Gumtree, and then their significant other receives the message, has a little laugh and then accidentally hits the ‘report suspicious email’ link while scrolling with their sausage like thumb…what is going to happen to the somebody who trolled their husband? I mean significant other.
Just asking for a friend.

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t get banned from Gumtree and I even have my own account now. OOH LA LA. FANCY.

March

11115743_10152887412608218_3767579464589774992_n

We started painting the gutters. We still haven’t finished. Shut up – we’re getting to it hahaha.

April 

OK, so most of April was quite memorable. There was Easter with family and friends. I went to Sydney for my biggest trip away from the Little Mister so far (was only about 4 days but was quite a big deal for me so of course I was sick the whole time). I shopped up a storm and came home very pleased with myself (and needing a lot of sleep and medicine)!

Oh, and on the 4th I made a potato salad, apparently.

May

My parents went to New York without me.

I posted this on Facebook (and tagged them)…

HUMAN OF NO YORK:
“I remember the saddest moment in my life. It was when my parents went to New York without me. It’s been a tough road but I know that in time I will heal and use that experience to one day support and inspire other people who know what it’s like to not go to New York. I think forgiveness is very important. I wish them nothing but the best, even though my heart is broken.”

10446376_10153043940203218_7527284056682156815_n

FYI, I was really unimpressed with their lack of remorse or sympathy!!

Also, the Little Mister and I got new dressing gowns. Mine was leopard print with cat ears on the hood and the Little Mister’s was a Minions one. We wore them a lot together, much to the bemusement of Mr Unprepared.

June

This month I took the Little Mister to the movies for the very first time (since he was really tiny and tagged along to Mums and Bubs sessions). We also met up with a friend of mine who just loves excuses to see kids’ movies haha.

He was so cute. He was really good, and while he demanded snacks a lot, he sat still for most of the movie (Minions) and was in awe of what he was experiencing (with amusing facial expressions to match). I was obviously quite relieved.

It was around now that I really became quite hyper aware that I had a ‘big’ kid and not just a toddler anymore. Very bittersweet, but mostly sweet.

July

I made this out of Play-doh. I know. Talent. Pure talent. I am really going places.

18305_10153184552618218_6341242260894094442_n

August

In August, I got stranded at the local shopping centre for hours. It all started when the Little Mister was having a hell of a growth/brain spurt. These spurts always make him quite difficult (he gets really scratchy and difficult for a week or two – so much fun), so I’d finally thrown my arms in the air and reached out to my parents to please please have him for a couple of hours so I could go out and get stuff done. I just knew he would never be able to handle it and I was getting tired. When my parents agreed to have him, I was so grateful I could have kissed their feet. No kidding. But I didn’t because that would be weird.

So, I set off, parked my car at the shopping centre. Nothing to see here. Went and completed my to do list. Got sick of the place (it doesn’t take long – trust me). I went to leave and something wasn’t right with my car (keep in mind I had an expensive flat tyre only a few months earlier – if that). I pulled up in another parking spot and inspected the tyres. Yep. One was¬†flat as a pancake. I wasn’t going anywhere.

The tyre place (literally 100m away – not even kidding) wouldn’t send someone to help me, because of insurance issues, my parents were hours away (they were caught up) and I had gallantly stupidly turned down the help of a friend I’d run into, who offered to help. I could have done it myself, admittedly, but I’d parked awkwardly and tyres are heavy and I just wasn’t that desperate to look like an idiot (because while I know how to do it I know it wouldn’t come easily haha). I could wait.

Well. During that time, an alarm went off – WOO WOO WOO WOO and stuff started to shut down, while people wondered what the hell to do. After that was resolved, I spent quite a lot of time reading a magazine in the food court and I tried on clothes in every store. Shopping really was my cardio. I swear I did fifteen laps of the place.

I lived to tell the tale (and have never been more grateful that the Little Mister wasn’t with me), but I am now paranoid about my tyres. Like dead set PARANOID.

And I still hate that shopping centre (always have).

*shudders*

September

My parents were away for Dad’s work, so I had offered (i.e. had no choice haha) to check on things while they were gone. I work there too, so it wasn’t a big deal. Let’s just say that there was a really dead frog in the skimmer box of their pool and I had to touch it and it was really really gross and I can’t even begin to tell you. Ugh. Alive frogs I can touch. Because alive. Slimy dead frogs that are still submerged – HELL NO.

October

I had an appointment to see a haematologist. I got to sit in the waiting room for a long time and listen to the other people. There was the old married guy with the dodgy knee who was flirting with the old married (to somebody else) lady who had something else wrong with her. He bragged about his lawn bowls skills. Then there was another old person texting somebody on their phone, with the key tones on – the ones that make that bloop bloop bloop sound really loudly every time they type a letter. I read a scintillating article about people who only create a mason jar’s worth of household waste in a whole year and thought FUCK THAT (which I am aware makes me a very bad person who is helping to wreck the planet).

November

My mum and I went shopping together (minus a child) for the first time in ages. It was great. We ticked things off my to-do list, but more importantly, we had corn chips and guacamole for lunch.

December

Well, the month is far from over, so I might leave it open ended. I am sure that many forgettable things will happen before the beginning of 2016!

If you made it through this post, then you are the most patient person and I applaud you for your strength of character – bonus points if you’re still awake!

How has your 2015 been? x

The Happy List #21

Each week I write a list of the things that have made me happy. Sometimes I feel excited about it and at other times I have to dig a bit deeper, because I’m tired or something really annoyed me or turned to shit. You know – first world problems and all. I keep going because I think it is important to remember the good things, even if you’re not really feeling it. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives – our brains seem programmed that way – so I like to bring the positives to the foreground so I can appreciate them properly. Even if they’re really simple moments, they are still nice to think about.

So here are the things that have made me happy this week…

I survived something I was really nervous about

That’s it really. We’ve all been there. How good is the relief after all is said and done?

Watching 2009 Kez get closer and closer to finishing uni

I don’t know about you, but I am a big fan of that ‘on this day’ feature of Facebook. I like looking back on what I was doing/thinking/posting however many years ago on any given day. All of my pre-2009 posts are full of stress¬†about uni and studying! Firstly, I am sure I bored the heck out of my Facebook friends at the time because it was all I went on about for a while, but secondly, it brings back just how full on and intense my course was. I was with a great bunch of girls who all pushed to do our best and I am so grateful for that. It was my second go at uni (I tried teaching but it wasn’t for me) and I really appreciated my tertiary education so much more by then. I was NOT going to fail. This meant that the pressure I put on myself was immense, but it paid off. I am so happy for 2009 Kez each day as she gets closer to graduating (she has just finished her classes and is preparing for exams). I am grateful for my degree in Behavioural Science every single day, because I might not be using it so much in a professional sense these days, but it really shaped and informed my views about the world around me, the decisions I make, and my understanding of why people do what they do. I feel like it’s made me a better person.

2009 Kez does put me off doing any further study for now, but I hope Future Kez gets inspired at some point.

A bottle shop opened up around the corner from my house

Um, hello. No explanation necessary.

I baked and it turned out great!

I wanted to make something nice to take to the inlaws’ for my father in law’s birthday. I knew nobody would mind if I bought a cake, but I hadn’t baked properly in a while and it felt like a good idea. I’d had a big week and it felt kind of therapeutic. I was a bit nervous because whenever you make a big cake, you can’t cut into it or taste test it until it’s presented to the recipient/s. I could not have been happier when it was cut open and everyone declared that it was delicious. Phew! I think the chopped up bits of Mars Bars on top might have helped my case too haha. This is a terrible photo but there was no time for styling – this is real life and everyone wanted to eat it!
IMG_8020

The Little Mister named his toy dog after my childhood dog without even knowing it and my heart burst

Last night the Little Mister told me his stuffed toy dog’s name was Bo Bo. I was taken aback because that was the name of the first dog family dog we ever had growing up. He was a special pooch – a real character. What a blast from the past.

I told the Little Mister about the real Bo Bo and how amazing it was that the toy and the real dog had the same name. He looked so happy with that. I asked him if Nanna and Poppy had told him about Bo Bo but he said they hadn’t. I couldn’t remember ever really bringing it up either. He carried his newly named Bo Bo everywhere with him around the house and asked to sleep with him and while I really don’t think there’s room in his bed for another comfort item, it somehow got past us (i.e. Mr Unprepared was a bigger softie than me).

I think I have something in my eye. I mean, what are the odds? He went through a phase of calling everything Poo Poo or Pee Pee, so you know what we’re working with.

Even if he has been told about the real Bo Bo and we’ve just forgotten (or his information about Nanna and Poppy not telling him is a bit dodgy), I still think it’s incredibly touching. Especially as he’s been missing my brother who moved interstate and his grandparents on both sides have been travelling a lot.

NAWWWWWWWWWW.

Kids can be really annoying but they also really get you in the feels.

So what’s on your happy list this week?

I miss paper.

notebook-office-writing-table-large

It seems that another book store in my home town has shut down. Of course I am just assuming – they could have moved elsewhere, right? But the roller shutter is down and they were selling their shelves the other week. They wouldn’t be the first book store in the area to disappear. I suppose books are now something you buy online to be delivered, or to download electronically.

Lately, I’ve been having a real yearning for paper. It’s so weird. It just came on all of a sudden when I had a fantasy of one day reading the Little Mister (and any subsequent sibling should we be lucky enough) novels a chapter at a time, snuggled up at bed time. The way we used to read when I was young. Sure, we read him paper books now – great stories with illustrations. But there’s something about a novel. You know what I mean? The way you turn each page and hold it just so in your hands. The way it smells if it’s from the library or well read. I’ve been reading novels since I was six. SIX. That’s a long time to be enjoying books. They’re a part of my life.

Lately I have been disloyal to paperbacks. I have opted for electronic formats. Because I buy books on a whim online, rather than being able to browse through a book store (um – hello there aren’t many left). When I finally have time to read, I need to read RIGHT THEN AND THERE. It’s just easy to download something. And if Mr Unprepared is asleep, my phone or my tablet provide their own light so I don’t wake him or have to balance a torch under the covers like I did when I was a kid and I was supposed to be asleep and my mum would come in my room and blast me!

It’s probably my fault physical book stores aren’t thriving. Oops.

The other night I was in a self imposed mummy time out *ahem*. I was in my room with no electronic devices and there was no way in hell I was going back out into the fray to collect my smartphone. Sitting on the head of the bed was a book I had never got around to reading. A fat paperback. I stayed and read a chapter. It felt so good. More relaxing than reading from a bright screen.

I keep forgetting to write things down in my paper diary. I wish I had a place to store all of my friends’ addresses, birthdays and other such special details. I’d love to get an awesome journal to record my ‘Kez Gets Physical’ health journey. I would love to be that person who has a stack of gorgeous personal journals collected over a lifetime.

Sure, it’s not fantastic for decluttering purposes and I do think of the trees. But I miss paper.

I hope paper books never die. I hope the children of the future won’t all be read to every night by parents holding tablets. I mean, I’m not judging if anyone is already doing that (each to our own). I am just old fashioned and I never want to stop holding that story book and turning the pages.

Does anyone else miss paper? Is it wrong of me to want to keep reading (or writing on) trees that used to be?

Memories Meme.

DeathtoStock_Objects5

 

image source

 

The day before yesterday, I went about decluttering my study. I had to say goodbye to a whole lot of stuff that made me nostalgic but no longer had any purpose in my home. As I sorted through CD after CD, book after book, I felt like I’d been transported back in time. I could remember all the time I spent huddled over my CD player, gripping the booklets filled with notes from the artists and lyrics (if you were lucky). I thought, wow – I was actually pretty cool!¬†Well, at least my music taste was haha.

As books and CDs become less of a ‘thing’, with the rise of newer, quicker, more compact technology, I realise that so many things were unique to my generation (as were all the things the generations before us enjoy memories of). I actually felt a little emotional when I handed all of the stuff over to the lovely staff at Cash Converters (for those not familiar – they’re Aussie pawn shops). And they were lovely. They were quite excited at the nostalgia I had brought back to them too.

I was inspired to create a bit of a throwback themed meme of memories – you can give it a go in the comments too or let me know if you blog about it (be sure to link back here so we can all find each other)! Don’t be afraid¬†to give lots of details¬†so that I can feel like I was there! x

What is your first ever memory?

I really clearly remember being on a sailing boat. I remember being outside the cabin thinking I was totally going to fall over the edge into the water. I was scared and really wanted to go back inside the cabin where it felt safe. This happened a few times in a row until finally I realised I didn’t need to be scared. I then remember wondering where that boat was and when I’d get to enjoy not being scared again (my parents had sold their boat damn it – I’d only just got the hang of it). I asked my mum about this a while later and she was shocked that it was my first memory. I was only 18 months old!!

First music album you picked out/bought:

I was a little late to the CD game (I was a cassette girl for a little longer than a lot of my friends who were so cool and had portable Discman players), but it was a big deal when I bought my first one. It was the Sunday Morning single by No Doubt (which google tells me was in 2005). I was probably about 10 or 11 years old.

First concert/live music gig you went to: 

I went to a Silverchair concert with my best friend. It was 1997. We were head over heels in love with Daniel Johns (the lead singer/guitarist). The show was at the now non existent Perth Entertainment Centre. We were too small for the moshpit so we sat in general seating with my friend’s older brother who had kindly agreed to chaperone us. I kind of remember embarrassing him a bit when we squealed and sang along haha. Also, I found the ticket stub yesterday. It cost us $27 to get in. THE TICKET COST $27 – WTF. Ammonia and Magic Dirt were the support acts. OMG.

First car: 

I had a charcoal coloured 1994 Nissan Pulsar sedan (which I thought was waaaaaay superior to a hatchback for some reason haha). I bought her from my parents (they knew I’d be safe in her). I had to earn half of her value and my parents would match me dollar for dollar. They made good on their promise – yay! I decked her out with a dodgy Blaupunkt stereo that hated half of my CDs and we were in business! She was called Buzz because she had the letters ‘BZ’ on her numberplate. I kept her for years, but ended up selling her to a nice police family.

What do you remember most about your first childhood home? 

I remember the backyard (probably also because of all the photos my mum took). There was a great area out the back, where we had a swing set and a cubby house. My mum would tape a big piece of cardboard to the outside (exposed red brick) wall so we could paint. I also remember the family room. The family dog Bo Bo would come in and get all excited, barking and making the rug move under his paws.

Did you ever get in trouble at school? What for?

I was pretty good. I’d get told off for talking in class sometimes. I think I was disciplined for not doing my homework on time a couple of times. I think I had maybe one detention in my whole high school career. Something about a swimming carnival, but I have no idea what I did wrong.

Name 5 movies or TV shows you remember watching most as a kid/teen:

  1. Home Improvement
  2. Full House
  3. Lion King
  4. Recovery (remember that 3 hour Saturday morning show on the ABC hosted by Dylan Lewis? OMG)
  5. Rage. Back when they did the countdown of the top 50 songs each week. I’d try and wake up super early on a Saturday morning, sneak out to the TV, plug in some headphones taken from my walkman (haha) and watch as many music video clips as I could before my mum busted me. My poor mum haha.

First celebrity crush: 

It’s hard to say. Probably Jonathan Taylor Thomas (yes JTT) of Home Improvement fame? I used to pin up his posters from my TV Hits magazines. That’s a little embarrassing but it was totally age appropriate at the time!

What did you want to be/do when you grew up?

I wanted to be everything from rock star, to pro surfer travelling around in a Holden EH wagon (very specific). I also wanted to be a SAHM because my mum was so awesome at it. As I got a bit older and realised that there’s this thing called reality (my passions may have been music and surfing but my talents and dedication were rather lacking) and wanted to be a youth worker or social worker.

What new technology excited you while you were growing up? 

I remember when we got the internet. We got a computer and the internet at the same time. It was a big deal. Back then, not everyone had both. My friends all had the internet before we did. I know, right? HOLY F*CK I’M OLD NOW.

I remember finding these ‘make your own website for free’ things. I tried to start blogging (before I even knew what blogging was), but because like no-one had the internet, it didn’t exactly take off. And I think it was really difficult back then. I probably just forgot all of the passwords and stuff. I used to spend lots of time at friends’ places in IRC chat rooms (sorry Mum). So bad, now that I think about it. So many creeps that we were naively flirting with while WAAAAAY under age. Yikes!

 

So…now it’s your turn! x