Tag: marriage equality

The reasons I will be voting ‘yes’ to marriage equality.

I originally posted a version of this on my Facebook page, but I thought I’d share it here on the blog too…

Fellow Aussies, please please please vote in this upcoming plebiscite for marriage equality (especially if you want to say ‘yes’). It sucks and we shouldn’t be wasting our money and our time and be told to use snail mail when quite frankly a lot of us younger folk hate it, but we can’t boycott it. We just can’t. Because even though this isn’t even binding, we need to make a very clear statement to the ‘no’ campaigners and to our government. That anything less than equality is bullshit and we as a people will not accept it.

There are some bigoted people out there. Some people who are hateful and small minded. These people will probably never change their minds. We need to rise above them – cancel out their votes. We might not get through to them but we need to have conversations with our loved ones – ask them their intentions, their reasoning, explain ours. Because for every extreme bigot out there, there are some well meaning people who might not have thought it through or who despite being otherwise quite lovely people, may be planning on voting ‘no’ out of fear or due to a misguided loyalty to a religious/family background that if they are really honest, they do not themselves completely live by any longer but are scared to step out of line with.

I feel like those are the people we need to try to reach. We all think we feel confident that most of Australia will support marriage equality, but we can’t be complacent. I have heard so many people tell me recently that they thought for sure that their partners, parents, siblings or friends would vote yes, only to have a conversation with them and find out that they had assumed incorrectly. This is a non compulsory vote, so the loudest voices will win. I want love to win. Not fear or complacency or hate.

The reasons I will be voting for equality are:

1. Think of the children! Think of your children. Who might they be one day? Maybe you might not believe that them being gay would be ideal, but if you would love them no matter what and never want them to feel like second class citizens if they ever came out to you, then vote yes. Do it for them and for every other gorgeous child out there who will grow up LGBTQI – they don’t choose their sexuality, they are born that way. How would we feel years down the track knowing we voted against our own children? Or our dear friends’ children who we adore and have known forever?

2. My friends. My amazing friends. A lot of them are not heterosexual. I grew up with these people, attended uni with these people, have cared about these people for most of my life (often long before their ‘coming out’). I can’t stand the idea that I can swan about with my wedding ring on and make jokes about married life, while they don’t even get a choice. Sure, not all of my gay or bi friends want to get married but FFS they deserve the right to choose. How can you look these people in the eye if you snuck off to the mailbox and voted against them having equal rights?? Or if you didn’t stand up for them by bothering to put that shit in an envelope and send it off? You’re no friend. I know that seems harsh, but seriously!

3. Plain empathy and a passion for social justice. I am not queer but I have experienced discrimination. Racism (both overt and casual). Sexism. Being treated as just a little less. Being talked to loudly and slowly and like I’m stupid. Hearing my race or my gender being referred to in ways that are designed to let me know I’m ‘less than’. Internalising that as a young person and starting to believe it. That feels like SHIT. And I don’t want anyone to feel like that about the things that make them them. The things they cannot change. As a society, we need to do better than that. For everyone.

4. Love is always better than fear or hate. ALWAYS. So if more people in our nation are allowed to express that love with a fabulous celebration and commitment to each other, then why the hell should we stand in their way? Our world could do with more of that.

5. The legalities. I want gay people to have the EXACT same legal rights as straight people. I mean come on. It’s just awful that in this day and age, that’s not happened yet. It’s not rocket science.

I don’t claim to have every single fact on the matter but what I won’t do is make up fake statistics or abuse anyone for their opinions. What I will do is speak on the things I do know: love, equality, understanding, empathy, friendship, family.

Everyone deserves that much.

Please vote. Please vote yes.

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5 things you should know about me.

Oh, boy. The US election has definitely kept me glued to my television in a ‘watching a train wreck’ kind of way. It’s kind of hard not to lose some faith in humanity over this – even from as far away as Australia.

The support for Donald Trump’s campaign has shocked and saddened me. It’s one thing to be disgusted by that awful, ugly man. It’s another thing to realise just how many people are willing to support him, despite his overt sexism, racism and every other kind of bigoted display imaginable.

In light of this (and other crap that has happened on our home soil too), I’ve decided to make some declarations about myself. So there’s absolutely no confusion. You don’t have to agree, but you don’t have to keep reading either. I just want you to know what I’m about and I won’t be shy about letting you know what I believe in. I think it’s important you know where I’m coming from (if you’re a regular follower you probably already had a hunch about these things)…

I am fighting the urge to type, “because duh” under each heading, but I’ll try to explain…

I believe in marriage equality

I believe (and know) whole heartedly that our sexuality is not a choice. We are who we are and we will love who we will love. Some of us have more fluid sexual identity or preference than others.

I honestly do not see how someone loving somebody else of the same gender affects my life for the worst. Because it doesn’t. No more than  Mr and Mrs Joe Bloggs from down the road’s marriage affects me.

I will always sign a petition to make it legal in Australia. I will always let my gay friends (and anyone else LGBTQ) know that I am with them on this, wholeheartedly – even if they don’t want to get married, they deserve the choice. To not even be given a choice is just horrible in this day and age. What is that saying to those who are coming to terms with their homosexuality? That they’re not valid as people? Holy shit. We can do better than that.

I am against racism (whether you admit you’re racist or not).

I am against the vilifying of entire racial groups, based on the actions/stereotypes of a few. I don’t care if you start your sentences with “I’m not racist, but…” or whether you belong to the KKK. Racism is racism.

I think that we benefit so much from learning about our differences. Just think about all of the inventions we use every day, the words in the English language we take for granted, the food we enjoy every day in Australia. If we benefit from these things, it would be ridiculously hypocritical to condemn entire races and cultures.

We shouldn’t hide behind ignorance. We should try to learn more all the time.

Don’t even get me started on what I think of people who insult people just for the way they look or what cultural clothing they are wearing.

I dream of a world where casual racism is no longer acceptable and where white privilege isn’t so glaring. We have a way to go.

I am a feminist.

Yep. The ‘F’ word. I am out and proud about that one! It’s about equality (as all of today’s facts about me are). Women are still subjected to sexism – both ugly and violent, and insidious and subtle, every damn day.

We’re pushing back and we’re fighting hard to create change. There are men who do not want to change the status quo because they don’t want to share their privilege or be shown up by a woman. It’s sad and it’s disgusting. As humans, we should not try to diminish another in order to feel better about ourselves, and yet we do it all the time when it comes to gender.

We as women have even been taught to oppress ourselves. Just look at all the ‘mummy wars’ on the internet. It’s horrendous. We don’t even know we’re doing it.

I am trying my hardest to teach my son to be the change we all need to see in this world. Imagine if we all taught the next generation how to treat each other with love and respect, instead of letting arseholes divide us?

I don’t care what religion you belong to as long as you’re an awesome human being and you have integrity.

While I think of myself as a pretty spiritual person, I don’t think I’m overly religious. In fact, sometimes I can feel pretty rebellious about it. It’s not anything against your God or other deities. It’s more about the ickiness of when a few corrupt, but powerful, people use the vulnerabilities of others to push their own agendas. I like to think of myself as a free agent. I’m on the side of good people. I don’t care what religion you identify as belonging to, if you believe in love (as a verb), acceptance and you have integrity. i.e. you’re not a hypocritical, closed minded dumb arse.

I believe human rights are more important than ‘free’ hate speech.

If you use ‘free speech’ as an excuse to say hateful things, we may not get along very well. I don’t mind us having a whole bunch of differences, but if your views seek to oppress another person or group of people, then I cannot be on your side and you should know that I believe that with the power of ‘free’ speech, comes responsibility. Be wise in your choices.

You’re either a good person who cares about others or you’re not. If you’re not, it is my free choice to not listen. So enjoy that freedom of speech, but don’t expect your trolling comments to be published on my blog or argued with on my Facebook page. That’s MY choice. It goes both ways.


Glad I got that off my chest.

What should I know about you? 

The Happy List #3

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This is a little list I write each week (or whenever takes my fancy), to remind myself to savour the good things in life and to help me start a new week in a good headspace. 

I think the loose theme for today’s list is ‘love’. It’s an accidental theme, but it’s…well… gosh darn lovely! So I’m just going to get down to it and share that love now:

Friends getting engaged.

I woke up to the news. I had really hoped it was coming and I am so happy for them. SO HAPPY!

Same sex marriage declared a legal right in the US.

For the whole nation! All states! A landmark decision (that should have been made a long time ago). I am so so happy for all the humans of America. It’s not just ‘gay’ rights. It’s human rights. I keep on hoping that Australia will catch up soon.

It brings me so much joy to see my Facebook feed light up with so many rainbows and outpourings of support from all over the world!

The Little Mister sharing his teddy bear.

Mr Unprepared has had to spend a night away this weekend (he’s a groomsman for a wedding and has needed to help set up the venue and attend a day-before rehearsal some distance away from home) and the Little Mister watched him pack an overnight bag. I explained that Daddy will be away until after the wedding. The Little Mister reappeared with two teddy bears. He held one for himself and gave one to Mr Unprepared to sleep with while he was away from home.

Cue HEART BURSTING AND ‘SPLODING EVERYWHERE.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Mr Unprepared totally took the teddy bear with him. And then he sent a snapchat photo for me to show the Little Mister, of the teddy bear keeping him company on the train. I managed to get a quick screen cap. I didn’t want that moment lost forever.

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That’s some good dadding right there. Dadding is totally a word, if anyone asks.

Rebuilding my website. 

If you know me (or are a blogger yourself), then you’d totally understand that my blog is a labour of love. I love writing. I love the sense of community. I love trying to make it pretty and give it care and attention. This past week, I spent a lot of time figuring out how to find a host for it and make it all mine (blah blah it’s kind of boring to explain). It was scary as f*ck. No joke. I have spent every second minute freaking out that the website will suddenly disappear on me. I have read so many instruction guides and felt like the biggest noob (do people still say noob?). BUT…I’ve done it myself. I nutted it out. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I love how my site looks. I love that I took a risk and that I’ve achieved something I put off for way too long because I was scared about trying something I have NO experience with. I don’t call myself awesomely unprepared for nothing haha.

I am sure there will be new challenges and hiccups along the way, now that I have so much more responsibility for this space (I liken it to going from renting a home to owning one) but I am SO happy I took the step. Or more correctly, took a giant leap (for me anyhow)!

Special shout out to Corrine from Frock and Roll for her moral support behind the scenes! She truly gave me the courage to go through with it when it was not much more than a scary “Could I? Could I REALLY? Like just DO IT?”! What a legend.

What a rush! Kind of like the feeling I get when I’m online shopping and I actually click ” proceed to check out” instead of just emptying my cart and never speaking of it again haha.

A good shopping day.

OK, so I am not so sure how to tie this into the ‘love’ theme, but let’s ignore that for a moment, because you guys, this was awesome.

I had to shop for a new dress for a wedding (the one that Mr Unprepared is a groomsman for). I only had black dresses or ill fitting summer dresses. While there’s nothing wrong with wearing black to a wedding if that’s your preference (I do love me a great LBD any other day/night), I get a little funny about it and I like to celebrate with colour. It’s like my own personal superstitious quirk. I was a bit worried about it because I couldn’t go shopping until the last minute and I would only get one real shot at it child free. I had already exhausted a lot of more local options and I needed to get myself to the city for one last ditch effort.

I was CERTAIN it would end up like any other need-an-outfit-last-minute shopping day – full of stress and rushing and self esteem shot to pieces as dress after dress made me look like a bursting sausage (I swear I’m always ‘between’ dress sizes).

BUT…the city was strangely peaceful and calm (which helped me to keep peaceful and calm). The weather was lovely. I found The One really quickly (a heavily discounted designer dress). It was the after-thought dress I grabbed off a rack on my way to the fitting rooms of MYER (along with my massive armful of just about every dress that looked like it might remotely look okayish on me). It was just a ‘what the hell – it’s in my size’ dress that I didn’t think I’d like. I put it on first and it fit like a glove. I actually felt pretty in it (as opposed to resigning myself to ‘it will do’). AMAZING. I got all the accessories and even a pair of shoes (most being on sale) in record time! I even found some time to get my nails done to match! I was on a train home by lunch time and I didn’t feel exhausted and drained afterwards.

Woohoo! There is NOTHING like a good shopping day. It was so nice. I don’t know much about astrology but seriously, the stars must have all been aligned or some shit.

So that’s what’s been making me happy. What has been making you smile?