Tag: Little Miss

21 weeks pregnant.

This week felt like a mixed bag of emotions! That damn rash I’m experiencing got me down a bit. I realised that I should be kind to myself and acknowledge that it can be really draining when your body is constantly fighting itself. I was a bit embarrassed at how tired and big I felt. I mean, come on – I’d only just passed the half way mark and I was carrying on like I was about to pop! I was wishing time would speed up because I was already SO over it. Which is dumb because I have SO MUCH stuff to do before the baby arrives and also, I felt guilty for not enjoying things more after wanting this for so long.

But then I realised that I have wanted a baby for so long. I have wanted the end result. The completion of my family. So what if pregnancy is not a perfect experience for me? It’s worth it in the end and I would never not have signed up for that. The Little Mister is proof that eventually the scars (and the itching) fade and it’s a blip on the radar of my life – even if a very significant and memorable one. It’s definitely a marathon and not a sprint for me! I just keep striving to keep perspective.

In saying that, I think that should we have everything go well and the baby arrives healthy, this will be my last pregnancy. FOR SURE. I mean, you can say ‘never say never’ but right this minute I know I will be glad to see the end of worrying about pregnancy and fertility. I will love my family of four fiercely, enjoy my two as they grow and that will be that.

Speaking of the rash, I cracked and called my clinic. I spoke to a lovely midwife (who I know personally also) who helped me to get a prescription for a slightly stronger steroid ointment (the same one I used last pregnancy). It felt good to be proactive. I think I could do with a lot more (the tubes are TINY and I don’t want to have to chase it up every time I run out) but I think it’s helping? In all honesty, it’s kind of hard to tell at the moment. I think the rash itself is spreading down my legs a bit but the symptoms are manageable. I still get a bit distressed in the late afternoon and in the evenings but I can get about during the day OK.

I had a lot of down time this week. I slept a lot and this was good. I needed it. But it was also difficult because quiet days, no matter how much I need them, mean itchier moments with less distractions. More difficult thoughts with no distractions – it really does your head in. Trying to find a balance! I don’t recall being this uncomfortable at night last time. I think because this rash is on my sides where I sleep, whereas last time it was mostly on my front. You win some you lose some, I guess.

Anyway, I should probably just rename these weekly blog posts “RASH UPDATES” but hey. I’m trying to give an honest account. Sadly this consumes me a lot. Maybe when I’m clucky after this baby is born, I can read back and think OH HELL NO. NEVER AGAIN. Just a little reminder to future me haha.

Some other stuff did happen, though!

I started to get slightly leaky boobs. Yep. Little drops of colostrum! I thought that I was a freak having this happen early, but apparently it seems to be kind of common at this stage of pregnancy. It happened with the Little Mister too! Sadly, last time my breastfeeding efforts were kind of thwarted when he was born, but I like to think that this could mean a good supply this time around, should I be able to avoid too much trauma during birth (and the antibiotics didn’t help either).

The Little Miss (yep – she’s got her own moniker already – very original as you can see) is already being showered with gifts. I bought her very first book this week. I am so excited to teach her about inspirational women and encourage her to be a strong, confident and awesome little rebel (in all the good ways).

I feel like it’s important to balance out all of the fairy tales where the princess waits around to be rescued by a prince. I hope this book can be a great keepsake for many years to come.

I also felt so happy when I received a surprise package in the mail from a lovely friend.

It contained a beautiful little outfit – the shirt has a unicorn on it. What more can I say? OK, besides it being so cute, I was really appreciative of this gift. It came on a day when I was feeling quite flat and a bit dejected because of the…yes I am mentioning it again…rash. This picked me up at the exact right time. I am so grateful for the love the Little Miss is receiving already from the people in my life.

The baby’s kicks are increasing and sometimes I can even see my belly bounce ever so slightly when I feel one. Mr Unprepared has been able to feel them even more and that’s been lovely.

Also, my t-shirts which seemed SO oversized at the beginning of my pregnancy are starting to look ridiculously short on me. I might need to do a little more shopping for maternity wear once school goes back – any excuse, right?

Here’s me at 21 weeks…

Thanks for reading! x

Reasons I wanted to know my baby’s sex before birth.

I swear the number 1 question women get asked when we announce that we’re expecting is, “Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

I think that if I was to properly poll my parent friends to find out who found out ahead of their birth vs who chose to wait, it would probably be a 50/50 result.

It’s a personal decision and I think people choose one way or the other for a big variety of reasons. I can see advantages and disadvantages to both choices.

I decided to share my reasons to find out at our 19 week anatomy scan…

I wanted to be the first to know

I do not have the best track record with uneventful pregnancy or birth. While this time I am likely to have a scheduled C-section (and not ashamed one bit by the way), anything could happen! If for some reason I was rendered unconscious or had to be put under or some other kind of thing hindered my ability to witness my own birth experience (yes – a C-section is still a birth experience), I would not want to be the last to know. A friend once shared a story with me about this happening to her and it stuck with me. I am sure there are women out there who wouldn’t mind not knowing first, but for me that’s kind of important.

I figure it’s a surprise either way…

It always kind of amuses me when people say, “are you going to find out or are you going to wait for a surprise?”

Because in my mind, it’s a surprise whether you find out earlier or later! It’s also not like you can change it either – your child will have the body parts that they are destined to have!

I just like to know sooner rather than later, because quite frankly knowing that I can find out makes me impatient! I’m not good with not knowing stuff!

It makes shopping for baby clothes/nursery decor much more fun

While I am not a “please explode all the pink all over me” kind of person (in case you missed it we found out we’re expecting a girl this time) and I am quite a fan of unisex baby/children’s fashion (there is some frickin’ rad stuff out there these days), I do admit a part of me does buy into some stereotypes. I guess that’s OK because I am both a girly girl and a gender stereotype breaker all at once, myself. It’s OK to embrace both sides, I reckon!

Before I find out the possible gender, I kind of float aimlessly. Afterwards, I know that it’s half way through my pregnancy, I need to get my arse moving and I can mentally prepare. So I guess I find it to be a good motivation for the procrastinator in me too haha.

To prepare the Little Mister (5) who expressed a gender preference

The Little Mister was constantly reminding us about the order he put in for a baby sister. Before we found out, we were well aware that he still needed to grasp the concept that none of us would get to decide on this. That was up to a combination of Mr Unprepared’s genes and the clever lab person who picked out which fairly random embryo (out of a selection of 11) to implant in me.

I wanted to find out the sex ahead of time in case we did indeed have a little boy on the way. I knew there was a chance that the Little Mister might initially experience some disappointment. I wanted to give him time to realise that a brother could be just as awesome as a sister. I wanted to give him time to adjust his expectations and talk through his feelings on the matter.

Not to mention the nagging we experienced about whether it would be a boy or girl and when the hell would we find out, please?

For me, there was only one reason not to bother finding out and that was the fact that there is a difference between sex (the bits we’re born with) and gender. Having a baby with female parts does not guarantee gender identity. No amount of gender stereotypes means that we will have a child who shares the interests/preferences we hope they will have/not have. I can see the appeal in not buying into the blue vs pink thing. I know I’d have my child’s back, whoever they turned out to be, even if for now we assume them to be a ‘her’.

But, my reasons to find out overwhelmed my reason not to and here we are! I know I already love this little girl so much and will support her no matter what. For now I get to think about dressing her in embarrassing outfits and decorating her room however I want while I can get away with it haha. It was no different for her older brother! 😜

Tell me, do you like to find out the sex earlier or at birth? What are your reasons?