Tag: gender reveal

Reasons I wanted to know my baby’s sex before birth.

I swear the number 1 question women get asked when we announce that we’re expecting is, “Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

I think that if I was to properly poll my parent friends to find out who found out ahead of their birth vs who chose to wait, it would probably be a 50/50 result.

It’s a personal decision and I think people choose one way or the other for a big variety of reasons. I can see advantages and disadvantages to both choices.

I decided to share my reasons to find out at our 19 week anatomy scan…

I wanted to be the first to know

I do not have the best track record with uneventful pregnancy or birth. While this time I am likely to have a scheduled C-section (and not ashamed one bit by the way), anything could happen! If for some reason I was rendered unconscious or had to be put under or some other kind of thing hindered my ability to witness my own birth experience (yes – a C-section is still a birth experience), I would not want to be the last to know. A friend once shared a story with me about this happening to her and it stuck with me. I am sure there are women out there who wouldn’t mind not knowing first, but for me that’s kind of important.

I figure it’s a surprise either way…

It always kind of amuses me when people say, “are you going to find out or are you going to wait for a surprise?”

Because in my mind, it’s a surprise whether you find out earlier or later! It’s also not like you can change it either – your child will have the body parts that they are destined to have!

I just like to know sooner rather than later, because quite frankly knowing that I can find out makes me impatient! I’m not good with not knowing stuff!

It makes shopping for baby clothes/nursery decor much more fun

While I am not a “please explode all the pink all over me” kind of person (in case you missed it we found out we’re expecting a girl this time) and I am quite a fan of unisex baby/children’s fashion (there is some frickin’ rad stuff out there these days), I do admit a part of me does buy into some stereotypes. I guess that’s OK because I am both a girly girl and a gender stereotype breaker all at once, myself. It’s OK to embrace both sides, I reckon!

Before I find out the possible gender, I kind of float aimlessly. Afterwards, I know that it’s half way through my pregnancy, I need to get my arse moving and I can mentally prepare. So I guess I find it to be a good motivation for the procrastinator in me too haha.

To prepare the Little Mister (5) who expressed a gender preference

The Little Mister was constantly reminding us about the order he put in for a baby sister. Before we found out, we were well aware that he still needed to grasp the concept that none of us would get to decide on this. That was up to a combination of Mr Unprepared’s genes and the clever lab person who picked out which fairly random embryo (out of a selection of 11) to implant in me.

I wanted to find out the sex ahead of time in case we did indeed have a little boy on the way. I knew there was a chance that the Little Mister might initially experience some disappointment. I wanted to give him time to realise that a brother could be just as awesome as a sister. I wanted to give him time to adjust his expectations and talk through his feelings on the matter.

Not to mention the nagging we experienced about whether it would be a boy or girl and when the hell would we find out, please?


For me, there was only one reason not to bother finding out and that was the fact that there is a difference between sex (the bits we’re born with) and gender. Having a baby with female parts does not guarantee gender identity. No amount of gender stereotypes means that we will have a child who shares the interests/preferences we hope they will have/not have. I can see the appeal in not buying into the blue vs pink thing. I know I’d have my child’s back, whoever they turned out to be, even if for now we assume them to be a ‘her’.

But, my reasons to find out overwhelmed my reason not to and here we are! I know I already love this little girl so much and will support her no matter what. For now I get to think about dressing her in embarrassing outfits and decorating her room however I want while I can get away with it haha. It was no different for her older brother! 😜

Tell me, do you like to find out the sex earlier or at birth? What are your reasons?

18 weeks pregnant.

During the 18th week of pregnancy, a lot of my thoughts turned to: OH HOLY SHIT. I AM ALMOST HALF WAY THROUGH THIS PREGNANCY ALREADY. I’VE DONE SHIT ALL TO GET READY FOR THIS BABY.

Very helpful thoughts, obviously.

Then I’d calm down and remind myself that I wanted to find out the sex of my baby first, before buying too much stuff or planning on how to decorate. Not that I am too fussed about the whole pink vs blue thing or the full on gender stereotypes (in fact I think that I can be a bit of a rebel), but it was a good way to procrastinate guilt free for a bit longer haha.

This week it really felt like my belly was streeeeetching and with that stretching came some itchiness in my stretchy areas. I also had some itching in the areas that can get a bit hot/humid. Arm pits, backs of my knees (weirdly), other less dignified creases. I’d happily not bring this up, because it can be embarrassing (and not very glam) but I didn’t talk about similar symptoms when I was pregnant with the Little Mister right away and I think it gave the itchiness too much power. Maybe I’m weird but I am a person who finds itchiness to be the worst psychological torture you can imagine (from a privileged first world point of view of course).

Gotta keep it real.

I’m probably not overreacting (much), because during my first pregnancy, I suffered from the PUPPP rash – most women get it from about 35 weeks pregnant and it lasts until they give birth. For me, it came at 20 weeks!! It’s a severe rash and it involved a panicked trip to a dermatologist (after suffering way too long because I had no idea what to do and neither did a lot of GPs I saw while my doc was on leave) who had to prescribe me a strong steroid cream because it was the only thing that would help. It was hell on earth.

Anyway, this severe rash had seemingly started with the itching symptoms I have described above, so I was paranoid for most of the week. I had to keep reminding myself that lots of women feel overheated or get dry, sensitive or stretchy skin when pregnant. It doesn’t have to eventuate into a big fuck off rash situation. It might, but it doesn’t automatically mean it will.

So I’m avoiding soap in the shower (no I do not stink – I use soap free lotions to clean myself) and using a light moisturiser on my problem areas. I’m also avoiding tight pants or jeans. Luckily, spring weather is arriving so this isn’t too hard to do. Wish me luck!

This week, Mr Unprepared felt his first kick from the outside of my belly. I find when the baby moves much lower down in my uterus, you can feel it more. It was a fleeting moment but a special one. I am sure there will be many more where that came from over the coming weeks!

One day shy of 19 weeks along, I had my anatomy scan. We had been very excited about this because we hoped to find out the sex of the baby (and I would have no choice but to face the fact that my procrastination period would be over haha). We went in and it was so awesome to see how the baby had grown so much since my 12 week scan. Seeing it move, hearing the heart beat, having the sonographer tell us everything was measuring beautifully and everything was looking healthy was fantastic. The baby was not very cooperative at times and really didn’t want to pose for photos or be easily nailed down (that’s a terrible use of words) for measurements of certain things and it freaked me out about future personality issues hahaha.

Eventually, we heard the words…

“I can tell you that you are definitely having a little girl.”

Neither Mr Unprepared or I could hide our shock or our excitement. I had secretly hoped that one day we’d have one of each, but it just didn’t seem like it could happen (I mean I know scientifically it can but I just didn’t think it could happen to us). I’d been ready to love and embrace another boy because we had been through so much that any healthy baby would be more than enough – preferring a gender just seemed greedy. Not that a baby won’t be whoever they are as they grow up (regardless of their body parts), but I guess I did appreciate my brother and I being ‘one of each’ and I was happily a breaker of stereotypes anyhow – still am. The Little Mister had expressed this desire quite openly. He wanted our family to have a boy and a girl. A brother and a sister. I was overjoyed for him (and relieved we weren’t going to have to work through any disappointments with him).

We whooped a bit and looked at each other like, WOW. THIS IS AMAZING. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

We told our loved ones right away and everyone was so excited. There are so many males in both our families that everyone is excited each time a girl gets added to the mix (things are slowly evening up)!

We are over the moon and I still can’t believe I will have a girl! I can’t believe my husband will have a girl! This will be so good for him haha. I think he will be smitten. I think he already is!

We went to lunch to celebrate (I had a fancy mocktail) and before we knew it we were talking names and giggling over the bad ideas we found in our new baby names book!

We told the Little Mister on the way home from school and his face lit up. He exclaimed, “YAY!” and told us that he was more excited than when we told him I’m pregnant. It was very sweet.

What have you been up to this week? Would you want to find out the gender ahead of your baby’s birth?