Tag: first times

Our IVF story – Part 1: Deciding what to share about our IVF experience.

I wrote this in February 2017. Mr Unprepared and I had just started seeing a doctor at a specialised fertility clinic. We had been given an information overload at our first appointment, after being told by the doctor (a real straight shooter with a quirky sense of humour) that he could send us for more medicated cycles but if pregnancy hadn’t happened by now, it probably wasn’t going to. He suggested IVF and said we could decide to wait another couple of cycles before seeing him or just sign ourselves up and get it moving after waiting so long for some kind of definitive progress. We were so ready to move forwards and so grateful that we were in a position where we could consider it. At this point it had been about 2 and a half intense years of trying to conceive. 

As I write this, I am waiting to find out when exactly we can commence our first ever round of IVF. It has finally come down to this and I have mixed feelings. I am excited and hopeful and glad to be doing something proactive. I am worried that it might not work and that we’ll have put all our hopes in that one basket. I am stressed when I think too much about what it actually physically involves (and how much of our lives will revolve around appointments and tests etc – I thought it was bad before haha). I am eager for it to be successful on our first try but I know that’s not the reality for many couples. I want to be realistic and just hope it happens in the first few rounds. Not to mention that everything is hypothetical at this stage. I need to take things one step at a time. What if they have to stop the process for various reasons? What if I don’t have enough good eggs to harvest? What if fertilisation doesn’t work at first? What if something is found inside me and they say I can’t go ahead yet at all?

Then you tell yourself to stop thinking about it all, but then that’s like trying not to notice the whopping big elephant that’s perched on your couch every day and night.

That’s a lot to take in, right?

I am sure that if you’ve been through this, you might relate to that overload of thoughts. And if you haven’t, perhaps it gives an insight into the sheer magnitude and weight of it. IVF is not just some magical cure for infertility. It’s not the easy way. I mean, it might be, if you existed in a vacuum where you didn’t have work, commitments coming in for dates you’re not sure of your availability for, a marriage that has to work even when you’re under a lot of stress (and the influence of crazy hormones), a child who you are so lucky to have already that you need to look after and love and send to school every day. A household to run. Yikes.

Not to mention that some couples can try and try and try but it still won’t work for them.

But we’re all in. We are so ready. We’ll be warriors and push through it. It’s not forever. It’s temporary and could be one of the most rewarding things we ever struggle through (fingers crossed).

It’s hard. You don’t know how much you should tell people about this *cough* journey.

If I tell person A that I’m starting treatments on date B, will they come to conclusion C about whether I’m pregnant or not on date D. Y’know?

We don’t plan on telling anyone we’re pregnant (if we get that far – please let us get that far) until it’s past the first trimester and even then, we want the Little Mister to be first to know. That’s really important to us.

Which is difficult when there may be people hanging on our every word and behaviour, waiting with bated breath for an outcome because they know when we underwent the procedures. I know everyone means well and are just excited and wanting the best for us.

BUT…if I don’t tell anyone what we’re doing, then I risk social isolation. I risk the worst feeling of being alone and having nobody other than my husband to speak to. And while that can be OK for a while, we need that friendship or family support too. This shit is, by all accounts, very fucking hard.

I also feel like it’s also for everybody’s own good (sorry not sorry) to learn more about the process so they can be more sensitive and understanding. Education can be key, sometimes. I don’t want it to be some crazy taboo in my life or in society either. A lot more people go through this than we’re led to believe!

I’m trying to find that balance about what to share and what to keep to ourselves.

I think that if an IVF round doesn’t work for us, we’ll tell people straight away. So they stop staring at my belly and thinking I might be pregnant when I’m not (there’s nothing worse when you’re already heartbroken). If it does work, maybe we’ll go to ground and keep our happy news to ourselves. Never confirm nor deny. Politely tell people that if there was news our son would be the first to know and stealing that from us as a little family would be rude.

So I literally am going into this awesomely unprepared. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve shared with some close friends and we’ve shared with family. I just have to hope that everybody understands that our rights to privacy in the first trimester (should we be blessed) are the same as everyone else’s who conceives ‘naturally’. I hope we can tell them just enough but not too much.

I also hope that the pain of anything not working out isn’t worsened by people wanting to play a guessing game: is she or isn’t she?

I guess time will tell if I’ve played this right and if I haven’t, or if I just come across some insensitive folk, I will also have to let it roll off my back. I’ll have to be strong and keep my chin up.

Here goes…


To be continued.

I’m not ready (to be a school mum)!

OK, so technically I am ready in the sense that all of the booklist items have been procured and the Little Mister’s uniform is ready and all I have to do is put his name on everything. I learned about being prepared nice and early because BC (Before Child) I worked in a stationery and school supplies store and the stress the ‘last minute’ parents put themselves through was SO not worth it (and it made them into horrible monsters).

But mentally ready? Not. At. All.

As for the Little Mister – he seems nervous but glad to be a ‘big kid’ at ‘big school’ soon (we’re talking kindy for 4 year olds). He asks me questions about it all the time and he sounds so adorably naive and he thinks anything that is remotely grown up will be on offer at kindy. Like maybe he can use knives there and drink from glass tumblers and stuff. Because grown up. But he also asks if he’ll still get nap time and toys to play with.

He is also mourning the end of his time at day care – it’s started to sink in that he’s never going back (even though I started preparing him before Christmas last year). We run into his little day care buddies all the time in this small world we live in. He cries about missing one particular boy he used to play with a lot. He also misses his favourite teacher.

We’ve had little chats where I’ve told him that while it can be sad to leave a place and people that we love and know so well, as we grow up we have a chance to have new adventures and learn new things and make new friends we might love just as much. I’ve promised him that it’s OK. That as grown up as he is becoming, he is still my little kid and I will always be there for him to help guide him and explain how things work. He’s not on his own. Not yet!

All the while, I’m running a parallel shit scared commentary in my own head.

What if I’m a big fail of a school mum? What if I’m that mum that forgets stuff all the time (I seriously struggled with a couple of kindy preparation related things last year – probably me being in denial – and it really knocked my confidence)? What if I hate having to be so much more organised? Pressure’s on to get my act together! What if I am not the ideal ‘private school mum’? What if I just look like a hot bogan mess at school drop offs and pick ups and everyone else is wearing the latest active wear or corporate outfits or on point ‘mum’ clothes? What if a lot of the other mums are much more ‘proper’ than I am? I don’t even really know where to park my car. Not even kidding. I mean, there are several car parks but I have no idea which ones are for who. I never asked. HOLD ME.

Not to mention that being an ex (high school) student of that same school, I get crazy flashbacks walking in there all the time. I feel like I’m still the student. Like at any moment, I’m about to break a rule about how to wear my uniform or realise I haven’t done my homework in time or will somehow offend a teacher and get in trouble! I actually had a pretty great time there. I made great friends and the sense of community was strong. It was also a quality education that I was given. Which is why we picked the place for the Little Mister. But still. PTSD much? Haha.

How am I allowed to have a kid and send it to school? I’M NOT EVEN A GROWN UP YET AND I’M 31.


I worry about whether he’ll get in trouble – not because he’s a bad kid, but because he can get a bit too excited about things. He’s very…exuberant (and strong minded). I just try to remind myself that he’s only 4. They’ll understand this. They’ll guide him. I’m sure of it. I hope?

Don’t even get me started on the first day I have to leave him there. In his little uniform. Waaaaaaaah.

Don’t get me wrong – he’ll be fine. Me? Who knows. My mum sent me a message the other day, regarding this. She told me to buy a box of tissues and used a wine glass emoji.


I mean, we both did fine with the day care drop off thing last year, but this just feels so much more emotional! Why is that?!

Is anyone else going to be school mum/dad for the first time this year? Have you got some experience under your belt – got any advice or reassurance to offer?? 

Memories Meme.



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The day before yesterday, I went about decluttering my study. I had to say goodbye to a whole lot of stuff that made me nostalgic but no longer had any purpose in my home. As I sorted through CD after CD, book after book, I felt like I’d been transported back in time. I could remember all the time I spent huddled over my CD player, gripping the booklets filled with notes from the artists and lyrics (if you were lucky). I thought, wow – I was actually pretty cool! Well, at least my music taste was haha.

As books and CDs become less of a ‘thing’, with the rise of newer, quicker, more compact technology, I realise that so many things were unique to my generation (as were all the things the generations before us enjoy memories of). I actually felt a little emotional when I handed all of the stuff over to the lovely staff at Cash Converters (for those not familiar – they’re Aussie pawn shops). And they were lovely. They were quite excited at the nostalgia I had brought back to them too.

I was inspired to create a bit of a throwback themed meme of memories – you can give it a go in the comments too or let me know if you blog about it (be sure to link back here so we can all find each other)! Don’t be afraid to give lots of details so that I can feel like I was there! x

What is your first ever memory?

I really clearly remember being on a sailing boat. I remember being outside the cabin thinking I was totally going to fall over the edge into the water. I was scared and really wanted to go back inside the cabin where it felt safe. This happened a few times in a row until finally I realised I didn’t need to be scared. I then remember wondering where that boat was and when I’d get to enjoy not being scared again (my parents had sold their boat damn it – I’d only just got the hang of it). I asked my mum about this a while later and she was shocked that it was my first memory. I was only 18 months old!!

First music album you picked out/bought:

I was a little late to the CD game (I was a cassette girl for a little longer than a lot of my friends who were so cool and had portable Discman players), but it was a big deal when I bought my first one. It was the Sunday Morning single by No Doubt (which google tells me was in 2005). I was probably about 10 or 11 years old.

First concert/live music gig you went to: 

I went to a Silverchair concert with my best friend. It was 1997. We were head over heels in love with Daniel Johns (the lead singer/guitarist). The show was at the now non existent Perth Entertainment Centre. We were too small for the moshpit so we sat in general seating with my friend’s older brother who had kindly agreed to chaperone us. I kind of remember embarrassing him a bit when we squealed and sang along haha. Also, I found the ticket stub yesterday. It cost us $27 to get in. THE TICKET COST $27 – WTF. Ammonia and Magic Dirt were the support acts. OMG.

First car: 

I had a charcoal coloured 1994 Nissan Pulsar sedan (which I thought was waaaaaay superior to a hatchback for some reason haha). I bought her from my parents (they knew I’d be safe in her). I had to earn half of her value and my parents would match me dollar for dollar. They made good on their promise – yay! I decked her out with a dodgy Blaupunkt stereo that hated half of my CDs and we were in business! She was called Buzz because she had the letters ‘BZ’ on her numberplate. I kept her for years, but ended up selling her to a nice police family.

What do you remember most about your first childhood home? 

I remember the backyard (probably also because of all the photos my mum took). There was a great area out the back, where we had a swing set and a cubby house. My mum would tape a big piece of cardboard to the outside (exposed red brick) wall so we could paint. I also remember the family room. The family dog Bo Bo would come in and get all excited, barking and making the rug move under his paws.

Did you ever get in trouble at school? What for?

I was pretty good. I’d get told off for talking in class sometimes. I think I was disciplined for not doing my homework on time a couple of times. I think I had maybe one detention in my whole high school career. Something about a swimming carnival, but I have no idea what I did wrong.

Name 5 movies or TV shows you remember watching most as a kid/teen:

  1. Home Improvement
  2. Full House
  3. Lion King
  4. Recovery (remember that 3 hour Saturday morning show on the ABC hosted by Dylan Lewis? OMG)
  5. Rage. Back when they did the countdown of the top 50 songs each week. I’d try and wake up super early on a Saturday morning, sneak out to the TV, plug in some headphones taken from my walkman (haha) and watch as many music video clips as I could before my mum busted me. My poor mum haha.

First celebrity crush: 

It’s hard to say. Probably Jonathan Taylor Thomas (yes JTT) of Home Improvement fame? I used to pin up his posters from my TV Hits magazines. That’s a little embarrassing but it was totally age appropriate at the time!

What did you want to be/do when you grew up?

I wanted to be everything from rock star, to pro surfer travelling around in a Holden EH wagon (very specific). I also wanted to be a SAHM because my mum was so awesome at it. As I got a bit older and realised that there’s this thing called reality (my passions may have been music and surfing but my talents and dedication were rather lacking) and wanted to be a youth worker or social worker.

What new technology excited you while you were growing up? 

I remember when we got the internet. We got a computer and the internet at the same time. It was a big deal. Back then, not everyone had both. My friends all had the internet before we did. I know, right? HOLY F*CK I’M OLD NOW.

I remember finding these ‘make your own website for free’ things. I tried to start blogging (before I even knew what blogging was), but because like no-one had the internet, it didn’t exactly take off. And I think it was really difficult back then. I probably just forgot all of the passwords and stuff. I used to spend lots of time at friends’ places in IRC chat rooms (sorry Mum). So bad, now that I think about it. So many creeps that we were naively flirting with while WAAAAAY under age. Yikes!


So…now it’s your turn! x

Kez Gets Physical: My first outdoor ‘run’.

Kez Gets Physical

I have gone on about it for a while, but today it finally happened. I finally went for a run in the great outdoors (instead of just on the treadmill). YAY! Mr Unprepared was home from work (recovering from his 140km training cycle yesterday), the weather was beautiful and we had no other plans for the morning. While I was in the shower, I suddenly realised it was time. I had to do it today or I’d never get started.

Of course, right before I was due to go out, I had a minor anxiety attack. Great timing, hey. I know exactly what triggered it but that’s probably for another post. So I felt sick to the stomach, my head was spinning and I had to sit down! Not the best start! Still, I soldiered on – even if it was a bit later than I’d planned.

I took my dog Blitz with me. She needs to work on her fitness too. We’re going to be work out buddies. She just doesn’t really know it yet.



At first I was pulling her along, but she finally started to get the hang of it and keep pace with me. I am a little worried about her road safety smarts. At the first intersection, she tried to run away from another dog that was crossing the road too (during which time a car appeared and was headed towards us). The next time, she stopped to sniff a caterpillar in the middle of the road. Sigh. We’ll work on that.

I think that I can only just get away with saying I ran most of the way to the beach. It was difficult to get into the zone. One of my socks had lost its elastic (which I didn’t realise until I’d started running) and kept slipping down into my shoe. Am I alone in saying that it’s the most irritating feeling ever? Sometimes I had to stop and untangle Blitz’s lead a bit – she’d get it under her chest and around a paw. I managed to keep it nice and short most of the time to avoid this, but when she lagged behind I had to let it out haha.

Still, I wouldn’t do it without her. She’s not just in need of a work out herself, but she’s good company and being a big black dog, I have to admit that it helps to calm my fears of strange boogey men waiting in the shadows. I hope she’s a deterrent. I don’t want any excuses to not run (don’t get me started on my feminist rant about women not having a sense of safety when alone)!

I didn’t run with any music because I wanted to get used to not having it, but I did find it a bit irritating that I couldn’t accurately track my run. I had my fitbit flex on, but I couldn’t carry my phone which meant I couldn’t use the GPS functions that a lot of running apps have. I am very into being able to really measure everything – it’s a big motivator for me. Later in the afternoon I went and purchased an arm band to carry my phone in, so it’s good to know I have it for next time.

When I got to the beach, Mr Unprepared, the Little Mister and our older dog Heidi joined me (they came by car). I sat on the beach, looking at the beautiful ocean. I was still feeling pretty average mentally, thanks to the stupid anxiety, but by the time we left the beach I realised I was less tense and feeling a little more human. It was worth it. I think my performance will be a lot better minus the anxiety, so that’s something to look forward to.


After my run I got on the computer and used the mapmywalk.com site to check how long my route was. 1.91km. Not as far as I thought (but pretty close – I’d guessed 2km). That’s better than I’ve done on my treadmill so far, so I will celebrate that little achievement!

Who knows when I’ll get another outdoor run (probably once Mr Unprepared has finished his big charity ride – his training has been pretty intensive and time consuming), but I am excited for it. It’s nice to get out of the house. Also, I can’t just be tempted to give up and sit down on the couch halfway. I have to run home too haha.

Do you run? Are you just starting like me? Do you want to start? Or are you an expert? Any great advice for how to carry stuff or get the most out of my run? x

Trying new things: Periscope.

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You might have noticed, but I have suddenly become a little obsessed with the Periscope app. I had no idea what it was until a week or so ago, but I was intrigued when I found out that it’s an interactive live streaming app. I was curious about how a blogger might use it and basically, I’m a sucker for the next big social media ‘thing’. At least I’m pretty sure this is the next big thing. The app has only been around since March 2015 (that’s THIS year – only a few months ago), so it’s really kind of exciting. I thought about waiting to use it, to see if it might get more popular first, but then I remembered how long I took to get on board with Facebook (“Oh whatever – it’s never going to be as good as MySpace!”) and realised there’s no harm in jumping right on in!

Basically, you can use Periscope to broadcast your life live in video form on your smart phone. People can join your experience and they can comment as you go along. You can answer their questions or respond to their comments as you go. If you’re watching somebody else’s broadcast, you can also tap the screen at any point to send ‘hearts’, to show that you like what they’re showing you or what they’re saying about an issue.

If you miss someone’s broadcast, it will stay up for 24 hours before expiring and disappearing. Kind of like the snapchat experience.

I’ve seen some cool things from around the world and I really feel like I’m seeing things through other people’s eyes. Knowing it’s in real time is kind of exciting. It makes you feel like you’ve teleported into somebody’s holiday or their work day or their lounge room! It’s like having your own very very low budget reality show haha.

I’ve been using Periscope for a few days now and I think I’m getting a bit better at it each time. I talk about bloggy things or I let people ask me questions to get to know me better. I started off not knowing how to use it, blathering about like a total nitwit (it’s a bit embarrassing just being on the spot like that) and now I feel like I’m slowly gaining confidence.

I send a tweet out each time I am live on Periscope (the app is owned by Twitter), so that people know I’m ‘on’. You don’t have to have an account to click the link and watch, but if you’d like to add me on either app, my handle is @KezUnprepared 🙂

I like that I can just be me, warts and all. It’s a test of my confidence! I’ve been stealing little ‘alone’ moments to broadcast and I haven’t worn make up or nice clothes in a single broadcast yet (not necessarily an intentional thing)!! Brave, I know! I’m trying to learn to be more comfortable in my own skin and with the sound of my voice played back… and my chins (plural).

I have really tried to do my research, though. Because with any social media sharing, there are certain things to be aware of. I’ll share the things I’ve learnt or that I am careful about…

Sharing your location/private details

There is an option that allows you to share your location on the app. I turn this off before each broadcast. Turns out, if you don’t, people can see pretty much where you are, down to the street name by zooming in on the map (I experimented). If you don’t want people to turn up and crash your broadcast or stalk you at your home, perhaps you might not want to share this detail. It is slightly less fun when people don’t know where you are in the world (unless you tell them), but DEFINITELY more safe.

I also don’t show things people might recognise. Landmarks or signs that show exactly where I live or go about my daily life regularly (especially as I don’t live in a massive place). I don’t want to show too much of the stuff that’s in my home (usually just the white wall or a closed blind or something really generic). I don’t want people to know what they can steal or how to get into my home, should they somehow find it. I will never broadcast the Little Mister, because he cannot consent at this point in his life and to be honest, you don’t know who is watching if you choose to broadcast publicly (there is an option to broadcast only with your specific followers too if you prefer).

I have noticed people sharing away with great abandon and the mum in me has been shocked! Young people showing exactly where they are hanging out alone at night (like I could literally get in my car and go pick them up). Kids showing where they are at school or how they walk home. While I wish we could all feel safe to do so in this world, it’s not the ideal world and the thought of some perv using my broadcast to get an eyeful of my child (or worse) just seems too awful. Not. Going. To. Happen.

I know I’m a massive security nerd, but I think the main point is to make educated decisions that you can be comfortable with.

Physical safety

So many people broadcast while they’re driving!!! What the hell? They’re reading the comments their viewers are typing and moving their phones about the whole time! Not only is it illegal in certain places, but it’s scary and dangerous! Please don’t do it! I saw one guy do it with his KIDS in the car the other day. He only stopped the broadcast when his partner got on his case! OMFG. Just. Do. Not.

Since then, if I see someone is driving, I switch off. The less viewers they have, the less incentive they might have to do such dangerous stuff!

I do not want to witness some wally falling off a cliff while trying to show me the sunset or crashing their car!

Try to have a focus/title for your broadcast

I try to have a broad topic or title for my broadcasts. A direction that it can go. I think about it a little bit before I go live. What I might say and how I want to say it. Any broadcast can change direction depending on audience interaction, but I like when I see a broadcast that kind of has a point to it. You can give your broadcast a title so people will know what to expect if they choose to watch. Some broadcasters are awesome at having a really engaging chat about not much, when they’re hanging out after work or something, but some…not so much haha. I kind of like using a personal vlog kind of style. Others might want to show you the awesome sunset near their place or what they’re cooking or how they’re working out or where they’re travelling. They might talk to you about their passion or even play you some music. They might even open up a Q & A.

Be engaging

I am working on this. I am trying not to blather on pointlessly (key word trying) when I feel a little lost for words. I also try not to let too much dead air happen while I wait for someone to answer a question I’ve posed. I also try not to interrupt myself every two seconds to say hi to every single viewer that logs on (if you watch someone who does this you will find you get uninterested quickly and you lose track of the message the broadcaster was trying to get across to their audience). I like answering questions and seeing little hearts bubble up on my phone screen but I try to finish each sentence first before addressing them haha.

I also am learning when to end a broadcast. Sometimes you just know it’s got nowhere else to go. Nothing wrong with gracefully ending the session. End on a good note, not an awkward ‘is anyone out there’ one! 😉

I also don’t mind if not many people want to watch (if I’m talking about something a little niche). I’d rather quality interaction than just a quantity of people who aren’t ‘my’ audience.

I’m finding there seems to be an art to doing it well and I like the challenge! I’ve got a loooooooong way to go, but I’m having fun!


I am not a tech minded person, but I am a people person and I think that’s why social media always fascinates me.

Do you use Periscope? Would you consider trying it? Want to share your user name so I can follow you? Any recommendations on who I should be watching? Ideas for future broadcasts? x

I’ve moved…kind of.



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Hey, everybody. It’s been quite the week for this little old blog here. Guess what?!

We’re self hosted now, y’all. If you have no idea what I’m on about, don’t worry. That kind of makes two of us. Trust me. I have learnt some things this week, I tell ya.

Basically, it means this space is all mine now. ALL MINE. Mu ha ha. Who knows what further mischief I can get up to now?

I hope it’s not too much trouble to ask you all to make sure that you are subscribing to…


and that the links you have for me are all up to date!

Wouldn’t want you to miss anything (I’m sort of secretly scared I’ll somehow screw this up and all of my lovely people will disappear)!

Because you really are lovely people. And I truly am feeling awesomely unprepared now haha.

I’ll be tinkering away for a little while before I really feel like I’ve truly made this space into a home, so I hope you can bear with me. I’ll be blogging away as usual, don’t you worry 🙂


Lots of love,

Kez xoxo

Kez Gets Physical: Beating the boredom.

I’ve read that it takes a few weeks to form a new habit. For me, exercise is eternally a new habit because I often tend to go in hard for an intensely short period of time with something new, before losing enthusiasm and forgetting about it. Oops. I’m always on the look out for something that will hold my attention and motivate me when I am feeling lazy and tired.

I love my treadmill (have I told you enough yet?) but I know that in order to sustain my new, healthier exercise habits, I need to mix things up sometimes. It’s great to have that real thrill that you’re trying something new. To remind you why you like feeling strong and powerful and to challenge you mentally (and physically). I hate being bored. Also, it’s good to have a variety of types of exercise so your body doesn’t get too used to one thing, causing you to plateau out with your weight loss or fitness.

Here are a couple of the things I added to the mix since I bought my treadmill…

Indoor rock climbing


This was actually a happy accident! A couple of the girls organised a mystery day out for our friendship group last month and the activity was to throw ourselves out of our comfort zones and climb up some very high walls while wearing camel toe inducing harnesses! It was SO MUCH FUN. I never ever thought I would enjoy that kind of thing (especially after a freak out in year 10 where I chickened out of abseiling down a 9 metre rock face), but I really did. I just wanted to walk out of there feeling great that I tried something new. I got up the first wall I tried – all the way to the top. It was the easy one they start you off on, but it made this uncoordinated dork feel so confident! I then gave another couple of walls a try and I felt so strong! I loved feeling the ache in my forearms and my calf muscles afterwards – proof I worked hard! I loved that I would never have chosen this activity on my own. Being thrown into it was awesome. I still smile at the thought that I (world’s least likely rock climber) did that.

FYI those blue things on the left of the climbing wall? Who knows what they do or how to use them? Because I didn’t haha.

Hip Hop Cardio 

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOkBrurM9G4]

I love to dance (never said I’m any good though – just in case you were sorely mistaken). After a hilarious girls night out last weekend, where we danced like fools in an almost empty pub, I realised how fun it is and how much I miss those days where I’d get my work out on the dance floor (no wonder the 18 year old me was skinny). Yesterday I was feeling so sluggish and unmotivated after a rough night’s sleep. The thought of getting on the treadmill just left me cold. I started to google hip hop dancing for fun, because I knew there would be heaps of good work out videos out there (there really aren’t hahaha). It didn’t take long to find The Fitness Marshall , though, and this guy is FIERCE. He uses songs that are popular and catchy, the moves aren’t too complicated for a goober like me, but they are definitely challenging enough to give you incentive to keep trying and improving. And those facial expressions and the way he really throws his whole body into it? He looks like he’s having SO MUCH FUN. Who doesn’t want to have SO MUCH FUN too?! I spent a whole hour having an absolute ball sweating it out to his videos! A definite new favourite. By the time I was finished, my endorphins were well and truly going and I even got on the treadmill afterwards for a cool down. Go me!

Other little things I do…

Change up my music playlist regularly. I know it took me a while but I finally figured out that I can shuffle my YouTube playlist so I am not working out to everything in the same order all the time. What a noob. But it has changed everything haha. Also, I keep adding songs when I hear something that makes me want to move.

Google new work outs. There’s so much stuff out there for every person. It’s fun to give something new a try. I think you could literally google a new work out every single day and never do the same one twice.

Treat yo self. There’s nothing like buying a couple of cute new sports bras or some cool leggings. Sometimes looking the part helps you feel the part! Getting some new stuff from Cotton On Body (not sponsored – I just like the stuff because it’s cute and I can afford it) in the mail this past week definitely got me out of a rut and made me more excited to move!

Have a buddy. I mentioned Alice last week because she’s the awful awful person who introduced me to a leg work out that had me hurting for days! But she’s been great because just when I think I’m having another boredom slump, she shares what she’s been up to and it spurs me on. We tell each other when we’re eating a salad or we snap chat our work outs. It’s fun. I also like having some buddies on Fitbit because I get a little competitive, even when I’m feeling unmotivated to begin with.

How do you keep your fitness routine interesting? Does breaking the routine help you to keep going? What is your favourite kind of exercise? 

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No more excuses! Eek!



I have a confession to make.

For a few years now, I’ve been making excuses. Excuses for not exercising enough. Well, it was more like one big excuse made up of lots of little ones.

In a nutshell, it went like this:

I’d be so much more awesome at this if I had a treadmill. 

It was this one obstacle that I liked to believe was the reason for not being active enough and not losing enough weight to feel truly healthy.

Except, now I have a treadmill.

Yep. I found a second hand one on Gumtree (the online trading post – kind of like Australia’s Craigslist for those not familiar) and I brought it home yesterday.

Its previous owner claimed to have used it maybe 5 times in the 2 years she had owned it, so it is pretty much like having a brand new one! I highly recommend a second hand treadmill, by the way. They appear to depreciate so much in value that you can get a great deal second hand and there are lots of people out there who haven’t really used them, so they’re usually in great condition if they’ve been kept indoors (usually as clothes airers haha).

So. No more excuses. Excuses like these ones (try not to laugh at me too much)…

  • The exercise bike I own is pretty great (and has been used a LOT by me), but it’s not giving me the same experience that walking/jogging on a treadmill would give me. It is a bit limiting and I want to really move my arms as well. So I just won’t use it because I’m waiting for my mythical treadmill.
  • I can’t afford a treadmill, so I feel frustrated and don’t do much about it.
  • I would care more about tracking my exercise on my fitbit (therefore motivating myself) if I had a better way to achieve my recommended daily 10,000 steps than having to have a massive day out or walking aimlessly around my house forever. So until then, never mind. I’ll just forget to charge my fitbit and leave it off.
  • Meh. I won’t bother too much about my diet (as in food/calorie intake – not fad diets which are not helpful), seeing as I can’t do all of it properly anyway.
  • I have never used a treadmill and it’s a bit daunting and I don’t know what I’d be looking for, so I guess it’s not happening right now…
  • I can’t always walk because the weather can be too hot, too rainy, too something.
  • I can’t afford a regular gym membership to use the treadmills (not to mention I’m intimidated by it all) and even if I could, when the hell would I be able to go there? As if!

Yep. Some excuses are a bit more bullshit than others, but I’m keeping it real here and being honest with myself! The truth is, if I was truly motivated enough, I would have found a way to achieve my goals no matter what. Not having a treadmill was probably (as much as it hurts to say this) a pretty convenient excuse for slacking off.

When I got home from Sydney, it appeared that I had saved a little more moolah for my birthday week/s than I thought would be possible. I had change! Enough for a second hand treadmill! I knew it was time. If I didn’t use this opportunity, who knew when I’d have that much money left over again just for me (my guess is almost never). I’d wanted a treadmill for years, so I knew it wouldn’t be a passing phase I was going through. I also have a good track record of using my exercise bike, so I felt confident that I’m not one of those people who buys exercise equipment that is never used. It would be a worthwhile purchase.

Here’s what I’m loving about it:

  • It’s convenient. At this stage, I can’t walk/run daily in the outdoors because I’m looking after the Little Mister. He isn’t able to keep up for as long and he can’t ride his bike as far as I’d like to go (although I do look forward to the time we can do longer walks together without him begging to be carried before we get home). I’ve been holding myself back when I do go out with him (although quality time is nice). Now, rather than feeling that I’d be limited to weekends and the one day he’s at day care, I can walk/run while he is sleeping or after Mr Unprepared is home from work (he rides his bike so he gets home later these days – this takes away my own guilt about taking time for myself to exercise too).
  • I am highly motivated by being able to track my daily activity. Steps, calories burnt, distance. Walking is the perfect way to work on these statistics when wearing my fitbit. I am excited to smash my records and see some great results.
  • I’m not going to lie. I’m kind of liking the smug factor. I used to be so intimidated by exercise equipment (embarrassing but true). I’m proud that I’ve worked my way up to this. Mr Unprepared was very helpful in the buying process as he used treadmills a lot when he worked away (FIFO). I know that after a treadmill work out I will not only have an endorphin hit but I’ll feel really pleased with myself. I kind of like being able to say out loud, “Yeah – I get on the treadmill each day.” And no, I will try not to be too obnoxious about it – don’t worry haha.
  • Walking has always been my favourite exercise. Now I have no excuses for not doing it. It’s a great fit for me.
  • Um…I can watch Netflix while I exercise. I love that it won’t slow me down because the treadmill keeps pushing the pace, whereas on my exercise bike, I had to regulate myself and I tended to go slower when I was thinking or had the wrong music on or was watching TV etc.

So…my biggest excuse has disappeared. The excuse I kept in my head for as long as the Little Mister has been alive (if not longer). I have ticked a top item off my wish list. I feel like a kid at Christmas!

I’ve been inspired by my husband because although he can be annoying (sorry haha), his dedication to riding his bike each day has made me think about my own motivation. He doesn’t feel guilty about looking after his health (and enjoying it). He has found that thing he likes to do and he’s doing it. I realise I shouldn’t feel guilty either! I also love that it’s great role modelling for the Little Mister. He’s seeing his daddy’s bike each day, he’s wanting to ride his own bike so he can be like him. He was so curious and interested in my new treadmill. He’s being exposed to exercise as an important part of daily life and I am glad for him. I can’t wait to do more and more as a family, as he grows and develops more skills. Admittedly, Mr Unprepared and I have had our slack times, but we’re really trying to make positive changes for the future. It’s awesome.

What is your favourite exercise? Is there a piece of equipment you are pining for?

Sydney is only a day away.


Somebody. Pinch me.

Tomorrow, I will be in Sydney. For a few nights. Child free. And while I’ve been very excited about it, and feeling a little guilty about not feeling guilty (haha), I think my nervous stomach (blergh) has betrayed me. This will be the longest I’ve ever left the Little Mister for. It’s not a super long time (not even a week – four nights), but it’s new to us. Of course, he will be fine with his dad. This could actually be quite good for the both of us. Still, it’s weird. The best thing that could happen is that I have a great time and miss him terribly by the time I get home. Then I’ll know I had just the right amount of time out!

Let’s just say I’ve been terribly stir crazy lately. I am more than ready to shake everything up!

True to Kez style, I haven’t really packed yet. Yesterday I threw stuff at my suitcase. Literally. Just threw stuff. At it. Not into it. At it. I wrote a list, though. I may be crap at packing, but I’m good at lists. I know that by tonight’s end, I will have way too many things in my case. My method of packing is not meticulous and well thought out like my mum’s (she’s amazing). I just throw in ANYTHING I might need and then remove a few things so it all fits. When I reach my destination, I end up living in about 5% of the clothes I took with me and something is sure to be missing. Very precise. Not.

Did I mention that there needs to be room for all the things I hope I can buy while I am there? Oops.

I am travelling with my parents. They were already going over for my dad’s work, but some good timing (and a little advance on my birthday privileges) means that I am now tagging along! I am excited about quality girl time with my mum. We are going to shop until we drop (if picky me can find anything I like)! We are also going to spend time with family friends and a long lost cousin of my dad’s who I am going to meet for the first time (she’s not ‘long lost’ anymore haha).

I find that I am excited about the smallest things.

  • Sitting on a plane child free.
  • Reading a magazine. I am determined to finish a Marie Claire. Just the one.
  • My handbag containing no child related items.
  • Doing my hair and make up properly EVERY day.
  • No-one yelling out for me in the night (it could be creepy if they did haha).
  • Not having to have constant eyes in the back of my head, always supervising someone.
  • Not having to plan each day around the needs of a three year old, which can often limit your options.
  • Not cooking dinner. No rushed meals as witching hour descends. Sorry, Mr Unprepared! 😉

Sorry not sorry, Little Mister! Haha.

I am going to miss him. I mean, duh. I am going to enjoy photo updates from Mr Unprepared. We’ll probably Face time or Skype or something. I’m going to tell everyone (who wants to know) about him. I will think about him every day – especially when I see/do things I know he’d love. But I am going to enjoy this break. F*ck yeah, I am!

When did you last get a break? What would you do if you could take one right now?

Leaving him at day care and finding myself.


Oh hey, here I am trying to pretend that taking selfies comes naturally…oh the awkwardness!


This week marked the Little Mister’s second time at day care.The first time (last week) I put him in for just a half day to ease him in gently. He was so excited when we got there. He wanted to run off and play and he remembered it from the time we’d come to suss it out and sign him up (he’d been allowed to mingle while I talked to the staff and filled out paperwork). He was asking the carers (he calls them his teachers) if he could go play in the cars outside and I had to get him to focus so I could show him where to hang his little backpack and how to put his fruit, for sharing, in the basket. I was so nervous, but relieved he was happy. I knew that saying goodbye would be a little hard for me, but it was great seeing that it wasn’t difficult for him. I gave him a really quick hug and kiss (like they advise), then it felt really odd to walk out of the gate without him! He was taken to the little window that faces the car park and he waved goodbye to me. He said, “Bye bye Mummy!” and he looked so little and cute. As he climbed down from the step at the window, with the help of his favourite staff member (he told me she’s his favourite yesterday haha), I heard him proudly say to her, “That’s my mummy!”

Then I sat in my car for about 30 seconds and I wanted to cry!! Not so much because I was leaving him in someone else’s care. Not so much because I’d miss him (I have had time without him before). Just the sentimentality of him growing up and reaching this big milestone. It almost got to me, man!

I took a breath, started the car and drove home. Five minutes later, I was wandering around my house in a daze. I had spent the previous couple of weeks fantasising about all the things I’d do at home alone once he was in day care (housework and blogging and bad TV watching and home admin and baking and maybe a nap – yeah right – like I had that much time haha). I had decided that his first (half) day would be a quiet day. I’d take it easy. Celebrate getting him to this point in his little life. But there I was. Wandering around feeling a little giddy, but mostly confused. My house was no different to when he’s there, but it felt different and it threw me off! I think it took over half an hour for me to even decide what to do! Apparently my brain doesn’t work when he’s not around? I was overwhelmed with the freedom!

I vacuumed under the couch and felt so excited and smug (but traumatised – OMG). I baked. I sat on the couch and had a bite of lunch, while surfing the internet and watching my DVR. Soon enough, my time was up. I felt excited to pick him up, but secretly wished I could have had a bit longer on my own.

When I picked him up, he was still running around trying to play! It took a while to get him out of there! I saw this as a sign that he’d be ready for a full day the next week and we left. He had a massive sleep after we got home and the next morning he wanted to sleep in FOREVER!

He talked about ‘school’ on and off all week and it made me happy that it makes him happy. He did get a cold he’d picked up from there, but it wasn’t too bad and he recovered in time for round 2!

I was nervous for this week’s full day. I noticed a few positive changes in him this time. He was more focused when we walked in the door. He helped to put his bag on the hook, took his banana to the fruit basket and gave his lunchbox to a staff member to put in the fridge. He was a bit too excited to say hello to them properly and I had to remind him to say goodbye to me, but we can work on that! He waved at the window again and I felt good about leaving him. Knowing he’s happy there really brings me great relief. I have been warned that a few sessions in, kids who started off happy to be left at day care, can suddenly realise what that means and can start to fret and cry, so it will probably take a few more weeks before I feel complete ease!

I had originally planned on running some pesky errands that have been haunting me, but circumstances conspired and they suddenly went away (for that day anyway)! I was meeting my mum at 10:30am to buy my Gran a birthday present and the rest of the day was mine! I headed to Target (not sponsored but wish I was) and wandered around in the same daze I’d been in the previous week at home. It is so ODD. I am used to having to be on a MISSION. An efficient, well organised mission. I must have done about 3 laps of the store before I managed to get my brain working again. I felt so self conscious being on my own! More than when I have a chatterbox toddler in a trolley, pointing out anything and everything he sees at the top of his voice. Go figure!

I spent a whole $29 on two skirts and a top for myself (bargain!). It was pretty awesome trying on clothes alone, I must say.

Long story short, I realised that it was quickly becoming a day of self care. I’d had an emotionally stressful week and I needed to look after myself. I was feeling fragile and drained. I booked a last minute hair appointment and I bought myself a gorgeous blue necklace, enjoyed an uninterrupted chat with my mum and slowly became more comfortable with the wandering alone in the shops thing.

I realised that in recent weeks at home (camping trip notwithstanding – that was awesome) I had kind of lost myself. I’d stopped styling my hair, putting on some pretty make up (a simple little pleasure for me), or doing my nails. I wasn’t even trying to dress nicely. Just chucking on the nearest thing that didn’t smell (yeah I’m a delight). I’d lost inspiration and I felt crappy.

So, this day became ‘the day Kez found herself again’. It was so needed.

My hair appointment ran late, so my mum collected the Little Mister from day care. I felt a tiny bit guilty that it wasn’t me, two sessions in, but I knew he’d love the surprise and he’d be really comfortable with it (what matters most). When I called the day care to let them know, they told me he’d had a great day and had even had some rest time (something he’d struggled to do the week before). Yay! He was stoked to see his nanna and when I picked him up from her house, he didn’t want to stop partying haha.

Sure, I’ll be back to spending my day care days running errands and doing housework soon enough (until I start doing a little casual work here and there that is), but I remembered how to care for myself too this week and I am so glad.

Welcome back, me.