Tag: drama llamas

C-Section? God damn right you gave birth.

Brace yourselves. I have my ranty pants on. I try to keep this a place where I do not share bad things (I’m not into hate reading or outrage mongering), but as I’ll explain…there’s a reason I’ve made an exception for this one. Oh, and excuse my french. Oops.

Sadly, you might have seen this fucking bullshit on Facebook. It’s doing the rounds (originally shared by some whack job “church”). Honestly, I don’t think it deserves air time. When I first saw it, despite having had a C-section, despite this garbage going against everything I believe, I just rolled my eyes at these pathetic people (who I will not link to because that’s what they’d want) and moved on. There will always be people online who are looking for your outrage. Who will feed off the hate and the anger and the hurt of others.

But then, I thought about it. While I have had over 3 years to accept the feelings and thoughts and doubts that come along with having a C-section, I think back to a vulnerable time as a new mother. The second guessing. The processing of a birth that didn’t really go the way you thought or hoped it might. No matter how open minded you thought you were going into the process.

You believe things that you see in your newsfeed while you’re feeding your baby in the oddest hours. When you’re tired, you’re overwhelmed, you’re confused – how can you love another being THIS much but find it THIS challenging at the same time? WHAT IF I FUCK IT UP? All the so called experts up in your grille. The unsolicited advice from every human ever. All the self inflicted comparisons between yourself and all the other new mothers who for some reason always seem to have their shit together (hot tip: they probably don’t any more than you do) when you feel like you’re barely getting the hang of it.

I have some words to counter the utter crap spewed by this so called church below…
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OK. So are you in disbelief too? Speechless that people like this exist? Mad? Insulted? Got a bad taste left in your mouth? Well, firstly, you’re my kind of people and I love you for it.

Secondly, here’s my message to all new mothers who have had C-sections…

You are brave. You are a warrior. YOU GOT CUT IN HALF, YOUR INSIDES EVERYWHERE, AND YOU’RE STILL HERE LOOKING AFTER YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY. Damn straight you gave birth. You delivered (with a little life saving help) a VERY special gift to this world. YOU ARE HERE TO MOTHER IT. YOU are a gift to this world. To this child. If you had your life and the life of your baby spared with the miracle of modern medicine, then you DID catch a lucky break. And there is NO SHAME in that. NONE. EVERY mother who gets through childbirth with their child alive has had a lucky break. There is NO SHAME IN HOW ANYBODY BROUGHT THEIR BABY INTO THIS WORLD. INTO THEIR LIVES. Hell, I’m adopted for pete’s sake!!

Chances are, you even had to go through labour AND surgery! How bad-ass is that?!

So tell people your truth with your head held high, “Hi – my name is *insert your name here*. My beautiful baby’s name is *insert their name here*. I GAVE BIRTH via a C-section. We are happy and we are here. The end.”

Here’s another truth: No woman is more superior than another for how she became a mother. All mothers are doing the most amazing, life changing job in the world. We are shaping the future and we are raising the world’s citizens. Whether you gave birth a certain way (or didn’t in the case of adoption), whether you fed your child a certain way or not, whether you work outside the home or not, does not matter. You brought life into this world. YOU DID GOOD. YOU ARE AMAZING.

And trust me. NO-ONE knows what the fuck they are doing (even if it seems like they do from the outside or from a bunch of social media pictures). I can tell you that much. But we do our best. We learn on the job. We are brave and we are committed. No matter what else happens, that baby has us. Because society believes we are valuable enough for them to intervene and keep us safe during childbirth. WE COUNT.

Your experience was just as real and valid as anyone else’s. It totally happened and it totally changed your life. FACT.

We are here so we can teach our children to be accepting, beautiful, inclusive human beings who believe in spreading love rather than hate.

I think that’s what’s really important here, don’t you?

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How to stay (relatively) sane on the internet.

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The internet can be an amazing forum/resource for parents (especially those of us who are new to the game), because it can offer us support groups online, and gives us a connection to other people, even when we’re stuck at home feeling a little isolated.

On the flip side, it can be a nightmare! There is information out there that is very dubious. There are people everywhere who think that having an opinion and a keyboard qualifies them to insult, degrade and fight (dirty ugly fighting) with those who have a different opinion and a keyboard too. There is a flood of articles thrown at us daily on how to do this, how to do that. It can make your head spin. It can make you feel worse.

Yeah, yeah. You’ve probably read these ‘how to have a good time on the internet without being a douche bag’ guides and tips a million times over and I have debated with myself over whether to even bother. BUT I think it bears repeating sometimes. At least here is my own personal spin on it all. These are the things I try to do. The things that help me to stay sane.

Stop reading if it makes you feel icky.

It’s that simple. You know that sinking feeling you get when you read something that makes you feel bad about yourself? Or perhaps you read something that makes you feel anxious because it makes you feel judged and makes you question everything you do? Sometimes it’s our own sensitivities or insecurities on a given day, other times it’s because the writer is inciting these feelings. It really doesn’t matter. If you feel icky, you need to take a moment. Y’know? Perhaps reading that thing isn’t the best thing for your mental health right now. Take a break.

If something you read makes you see red, if it makes you so angry that all you can think is four letter words towards the writer/website/Facebook page, that is a lot of negativity to be bathing yourself in. Scroll past. Unfollow. Do what it takes to not willingly return to such material. You don’t need that in your life! It’s wasted energy we could be using to better our own lives or the lives of those we care about. I mean, you could have been using that time to laugh at videos of Jimmy Fallon’s lip synching battles on YouTube, instead of reading about that writer who hates SAHMs/working mums/breastfeeding mums/bottle feeding mums/school mums/funny mums/serious mums/mums who are pretty and fit/mums who are overweight/mums who…you get the idea. Don’t buy into the hate-fest.

If the writer doesn’t write in a way that shows you the respect (you can respect people even if they do not share your opinion), do not give them the time of day. They haven’t earned it.

Do not bite the click-bait. 

Ever read those provocative headlines? The spiel before a link to an article, which is designed to entice readers into clicking and giving a website a lot of traffic? Some of it is just blatantly designed to get us hate-reading by inciting an outrage within us, which makes us say, “WHO WOULD SAY THAT HORRIBLE THING? I MUST KNOW.”

It’s so tempting. SO tempting. I’m trying harder to resist. I want to read things because I want to learn something, not because the website has tried to suck me in for negative reasons.

“WHAT THIS MUM DID NEXT WILL HAVE YOU OUTRAGED.”
“THIS WRITER HATES CHILDREN AND HERE’S WHY…”

You know the kind. If a website is resorting to that kind of manipulation, that says a lot. It also says a lot that it’s probably, sadly, working. I want to try harder to not be a part of the problem. If I know I’ll be angry when I read it, that’s not a good space to be in. I don’t need the virtual drama cluttering my head.

Keep it classy. 

Often people use the old, “it’s my freedom of speech” excuse for being a**holes. Yes. We are all entitled to our opinions. We are allowed to disagree with other people on an unlimited range of topics. But in my mind we have a responsibility in how we express them. You don’t need to attack somebody else’s character, belittle them, wish awful things on them or enter into a week long commenting argument with them to make your point. Try to be eloquent. Make your point in a way that might actually get through to the other person. Calling them fifty names probably won’t help the situation. If you are truly passionate about telling someone else what you need to say, then make sure your communication is effective. It ceases to be effective if you are insulting somebody. All they will see is the insults and not the message. You’re better than that. And that goes for passive aggressive comments disguised as constructive feedback. Come on. We’re not stupid. That doesn’t count as taking the high road! It’s not genuine. Just LET IT GO.

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And? If you’ve shown all the class you can show and the recipient doesn’t want to understand or refuses to reciprocate? LET IT GO. They’re just strangers on the internet who disappear when you turn off your computer (or click unfollow). You don’t need to win them over to know that you’re an awesome person.

Yay! 🙂 You are, by the way.

We can pick our battles too. People power definitely has a place (advocating for the equal rights of all people is important), but sometimes silence can be a dignified response – it can be all something deserves.

Think critically. 

Where is this information coming from? What are the interests of those publishing it? What are their motives? Are they a reliable source? Are they using reliable sources? This helps me to sort the junk from the stuff I might want to be paying attention to. I know not to get my knickers in a knot over stuff that has little credibility. I won’t be taking their advice to heart, that’s for sure.

Also? This includes reading all of the article/blog post carefully. Dissect the writer’s intentions. Where are they coming from? What are they really saying? Read it a couple of times if you have to and carefully consider your own response. If the writer explicitly says, I don’t agree with ‘a’ but I do understand why some people do, then don’t rant at the writer about how they are agreeing with ‘a’ and how wrong they are. It will undermine your credibility if other readers can see that you haven’t taken your time to understand what the writer is saying.

Have empathy. 

You might not agree with the writer or what they do might not feel right for you, but if you put yourself in their shoes for a minute, you might understand their intentions and be able to give constructive feedback. Also, it’s not always somebody’s fault if they do not ‘know better’. They might be struggling or simply not have certain tools to work with. You can’t always know the whole story in a few hundred words. You can either be a helping force or a negative, judgemental one. How would you like to be spoken to if you’d had the courage to put it all out there?

Come at it with a positive approach.

Proofread! 

Lastly, if you are a blogger or a commenter, re-read your comment/blog post before clicking ‘post’ or ‘publish’. I try to re-read everything I write – more so if I know I’m commenting on a contentious issue. I make sure I’m not letting my emotive response overtake my message. I make sure I haven’t insulted anyone. I make sure that I’ve said it in a way that it can be read easily (I am a waffler and I am sorry haha). I remind myself that I am saying something in a public manner. This has saved me many a time. I’ve even written comments and then deleted them when I realised I was not offering something relevant or helpful to a discussion. It reassures me that I won’t write a knee jerk response before I can calm down and think about it rationally. I only want to write things that will let me sleep at night!! There is nothing worse than saying that silly thing and then feeling haunted by it (or worse feeling the backlash over something you didn’t really mean to say because you didn’t think it out).

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I know I am not perfect so I don’t mean to preach. I am just passing on the stuff I’m working on. ‘Working on’ being the operative words. I mostly just hope that I’ve made a space where my readers feel free from all the crap out there.

I feel like parents in blog land and on social networks need to band together more. Have a supportive, nurturing approach, not a shaming, judgemental one. We have such great opportunities to build online communities and to learn so much from each other. Let’s not waste them with ‘mummy wars’ (just that term makes me want to spew a little in my mouth). Let’s not fall for the tricks of those bigger websites (who shall remain nameless) that rejoice when we go into a frenzy. We are seriously better than that. We are amazing people from all walks of life. Let’s not lose perspective.

And did I mention that you’re absolutely gorgeous and you’re doing great stuff? 😉

Do you have anything to add to my list of tips? What do you think? 

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

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Oh, that poor child. Listen to him yelling out in pain! His mother (or father depending on who draws the short straw on any given day) must be too rough with him. He’s only small. Poor thing. IS SOMEONE MURDERING A SMALL CHILD IN THE SHOPPING CENTRE/CAFÈ/SWIMMING POOL/CAR PARK?

No, that’s just the sound of a toddler who likes to yell “OW OW OW OW!” whenever he feels like it. Sometimes when he is being told to do something he doesn’t want to do, sometimes when he wants to do something he isn’t allowed to do, but also sometimes just because the mood strikes at some random moment. Any time, anywhere.

Turns out my two year old has a flair for the performing arts. I see Academy Awards and Logies somewhere in his future.

Best “OW” Actor.

Favourite “OW” Talent.

I’ve become better at distinguishing the difference between a blatant attempt to manipulate me into paying him special attention or to distract me from a task at hand, and real ‘ow’s, but I just know that sooner or later, he’s going to howl at me and I’m going to get all “boy who cried wolf” on him and tell him to stop shouting and that it’s nothing…when it’s something. It’s only a matter of time until I get the guilts because I missed something, right? Place your bets now, people.

Until then, I’ll be the “mean” lady who is telling off her child (or even worse – laughing) despite the fact that he is so obviously in “pain” and his wails are clearly a sign of hurt and discomfort. I’ll be that person you don’t mean to stare at, but surely I must be a horrible parent you need to keep an eye on – just in case (unless you also have a dramatic two year old in which case you will simply sigh and be relieved it’s not you this time).You can find me at any public venue where it is least convenient. Don’t worry about missing out on this spectacular performance – we will be making repeat appearances at a place near you. Check back for tour dates.

All good, nothing to see here! 😉

Has your child ever embarrassed you in public? What did they do or say? x

How to be the perfect parent.

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Ha! Sucked you in with the title of this post, didn’t I? Truth is, there is NO SUCH THING. Somewhere along the line, SOMEBODY (who I so would not be friends with and can go eat a proverbial…) decided we should ALL try to be PERFECT PARENTS and that we should “help” everybody else become PERFECT too. Those pointed glares at the supermarket or anywhere in public, really, are TOTALLY getting the point across, right?

Sometimes I get sucked in. Sometimes I feel judged and sometimes I (silently and inconspicously) judge others. It is human nature to compare, contrast and take a position on where we feel our behaviour and the behaviour of others sits on some kind of invisible scale of life. But isn’t it getting ridiculous?

Sometimes I am being judged passive-aggressively and sometimes it’s just a feeling in my bones as someone looks over at me or asks me weird questions about the habits of my child. Sometimes I just judge myself. I start imagining what other people will think if I am seen to do this or that. The opinions of those who shouldn’t get a say in my parenting techniques, preferences or abilities can rumble around in my brain. Sometimes those ‘voices’ stop me from writing meaningful blog posts or make me feel like I can’t be who I am as a parent. Other times, I fight these brain invaders and I win (by a smidgen). Either way, I’m kind of getting over the fact that I have to fight myself in the first place.

I need to stop feeling the need to explain myself to everyone all the time.

Oh, well we have never been able to exclusively breastfeed, because…

Yeah, my toddler is acting up today, because he’s (teething/missed his sleep/sick etc)…and it’s not really like him normally…

Oh, yes. The Little Mister is eating his pre-packaged supermarket purchased baby food, only because today…

Yeah, today I did turn on the television in his presence, but only because…

I thought about cloth/bamboo nappies, but I chose disposable nappies, because…

BLAH BLAH BLAHDY BLAH.

You would think I was feeding him booze or hanging him upside down from a torture rack just for funsies.

I do have very valid, considered and educated reasons for just about every parenting choice I make. I’m learning just like everyone else who is Awesomely Unprepared for each stage of parenthood, but I’m no dumb cookie. I read, I assess, I plan, I try. I change when necessary. I think about the consequences (short and long term). However, I do NOT owe an explanation to that snooty lady at the supermarket or that frienemy who asks weird, competitive questions about my child’s development while assessing whether I’ve done something wrong or not.

Here’s news. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT PARENTS.

We make little mistakes (which we often learn from very quickly). We do what we think is best, but sometimes it misses the mark and we end up at plan B, C, or D.

Here’s more news that will blow your brain right out of your brain sockets (I’m no doctor – brain sockets may or may not be a thing). EVERYONE WILL JUDGE US NO MATTER WHAT WE CHOOSE SO WE MAY AS WELL ENJOY BEING JUDGED FOR DOING WHAT’S BEST FOR US!

Sorry for all the caps. I’m feeling a little fired up.

Breastfeed? You’re too attached to your baby – how can you live your life? And god forbid you do it in public, you awful trashy moll (eek). What? You’re STILL breastfeeding?? That’s just gross.

Don’t breastfeed? You’re just taking the easy option and you don’t care what’s best for your baby. It’s like feeding your baby MacDonalds every day. Didn’t you try hard enough? It’s so SAD how everyone gives up so EASILY these days.

Attend various baby activity classes? You’re doing too much. Your child is being carted here and there just so you can prove to yourself that you’re a good parent.

Don’t attend various baby activity classes? Your baby is understimulated and is going to lag in its development. You think you’ve got something better to do?

Stay at home mum? You lack ambition and your children (especially daughters) are not going to learn how to be strong and independent. You’re just sitting at home watching daytime TV and whingeing about working mums. You’re an insult to feminism.

Working mum? You’re leaving your children when you should be spending more time with them at this precious age. How can you chase your career and leave your precious offspring in childcare? What? Are you sick of being at home with the kids? Well, that’s life, love. You should have thought of that before you had them.

And the list can go on and on and on. I don’t actually believe any of the things I wrote above, by the way. I am trying to get the point across that ignorant, judgemental people (who aren’t afraid to let you know it) will find something negative to say about your parenting, regardless of the choices you make. It says more about who they are than who you are.

With the availability of social media making these opinions more and more accessible, it can become bloody unbearable! We’re all judging each other! Here’s a list of the most annoying things parents do on Facebook, here’s the top 10 reasons parents are lame and boring and vapid and should get a life (there are actual articles on these topics but I’m deliberately not posting the links). There’s even an ugly flipside where we get all angry that people don’t want children or don’t have them (there is a distinction – a painful one for some).

Everyone has their own story and 90% of the time we can walk past each other and not have a clue what that story is. We’re not qualified to judge. Who do we think we are? We think one mum is an absolute super mum who we can’t live up to, when she’s really just overdoing it, her partner and kids suffering the fall out because she too feels the pressure – crushingly so. We think another mum is taking short cuts or isn’t doing enough ‘by the book’ (and there are plenty of books), but she’s actually fighting off depression or has a circumstance in her life which she is actually rising above the best way anyone could be expected to.

Like I said before, it is human nature to have judgey thoughts. We all have them. We’d be lying if we said we didn’t. We just need to think a lot more about how we treat those thoughts. Do we internally stop ourselves and think, “Maybe I don’t know the full story. I will keep that opinion to myself. This person doesn’t need it.”? or do we think we’re all that and a bag of chips, feeling like that person’s life would be empty and directionless without our oh-so-valuable input? Do we really have to raise that eyebrow? Do we really have to give a disapproving glare? Why is it so important to us that the person we are judging should know we are judging them (while we pretend we’re not judging them if we’re confronted)?

And just because we don’t SAY anything, doesn’t make us any less guilty. That sideways glance at the shops. That stony or awkward silence when someone gives the “wrong” answer about their parenting techniques. Those raised eyebrows when someone’s toddler chucks a little tanty (they tend to do that sometimes). That over the top suggestion on how to better parent a child, disguised as friendly advice. STOP BEING SUCH F*CKING BITCHES. Didn’t anyone teach us to be better than that?! Also, it’s incredibly arrogant and self important, don’t you think??

If you read this and you recognise aspects of your behaviour, don’t get defensive and angry. Don’t rant about how I’m a horrible person. The truth hurts. Just do better. Each day is a fresh start. Put good karma out there and people will appreciate it. That’s all I hope for. It’s only what I ask of myself as well. I’m trying to work on it every day.

We need to band together and support everyone who is raising our future generations. Some people need more support than others, but what we all need is compassion, empathy and genuine help that comes from a place of love, not a place of fear, ignorance or judgement.

That’s the best lesson we can teach our children. That’s what will make us good parents and role models. We can have children who meet all the right developmental milestones on schedule, they can weigh the exact right amount for their heights and ages, they can be great at reading, writing and mathematics. They can be athletic and physically strong. They can be eating only the best organic, fresh foods in all the right portion sizes. They can be a member of every recreational club in town, play several instruments and speak different languages. But what good is that if we teach them that it’s OK to be mean to those who simply make different choices to us? What does it mean if we teach our children to only judge on the superficial? If we show them by our actions that we don’t need to be compassionate or look deeper at someone’s situation? What does it mean if we don’t teach them real people skills? Or how to get through to someone in a way that does not isolate them or make them feel small? What good is it if we teach our ‘perfect’ children that they are better than those who are less fortunate or who don’t have all the same opportunities? Something to think about.

At the end of the day, I’m not going to care so much about the superficial. We are fortunate enough in life. My husband and I will be able to provide for our children (should our blessings remain as they are today) and they will have many great opportunities to learn and grow well. However, if my child reaches out to help another child/person and if my child stands up for a child who is being bullied because they’re different… If my child shows love instead of judgement – asks, “What do you need?” not “Here’s what you’re doing wrong”. I will not care that he watched Sesame Street for a bit longer than normal. I will not care that I was unable to breastfeed exclusively. I will not think about that day when as a toddler he screamed in the shopping centre because he was tired and teething and everyone thought I was a bad parent. I will be proud.

And on that note, I’m done. Rant over.

This post is part of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. 



Modern Day Etiquette: What advice would YOU give?

There is nothing more exciting than receiving a parcel in the mail. Especially when it’s a surprise! As I was sitting on the toilet going about my business yesterday, my husband called out.

“There’s a package for you! Are you expecting anything?!”

I then quizzed him through the door (we’re married – get over it).

“Whose handwriting is it in? Is it from Australia? Did I order something online and forget about it?”

“I don’t know. Should I open it for you?” came the reply.

“OK…but be careful. It could be a bomb or anthrax or something. I might have made some enemies.”

So anyway, fast forward a few minutes and it turned out I had been sent a really cool book by a really thoughtful lifelong friend. A book I’d been eyeing off for a little while but never really had the nerve to buy (in case it made me realise that I am indeed joining the “Mummy” ranks for realsies):

It’s called The A to Z of MUMMY MANNERS by Libbi Gorr and is “an etiquette guide for managing other children’s mothers and assorted mummy dilemmas”.

It also came with a card that my friend thought appropriate, emblazened with the word “FEARLESS”…perhaps she didn’t get the memo that impending motherhood is thrilling, exciting but mostly sh*t-scary?! Bless.

Inside the book are gems of wisdom like how to explain why one or both parents are in jail, “Mummy had a sleepover. Daddy or Grandma has to pay to let her come home.” (page 81)

Or how to accept that you’re not a domestic goddess: “Face it sister, you weren’t bred to bake. Own it. Get your PhD. Move on.” (page 43)

There is also useful information on how to interact harmoniously with other mummies and how to deal with the competitive nature of women (you or someone else).

It’s a fantastic gift which I am looking forward to reading properly from cover to cover!

There’s nothing that the old school me loves more than modern day lessons in etiquette. I think my friend knows me quite well 🙂

If I was writing a book on general modern day etiquette, I’d probably offer useful advice like this:

Facebook: Your status is supposed to let people know what is on your mind at any given time. It is designed for your social network to see what you are up to, what you’re thinking about and how your life is going. In-jokes (that no-one but you and two other people will understand), passive aggressive jabs at other unnamed friends or the airing of one’s dirty laundry in the heat of a moment is never appropriate. Thought should go into what you choose to publish and how you want to be perceived. Once published, it will not be forgotten. People also have the ability to screen capture your words for later use against you. Tread wisely and represent yourself well. Also, stop annoying EVERYONE with your drama (the voyeuristic novelty wears off really quickly – especially if you do not know how to spell or use apostrophes). Private chat or messaging is best in these situations.

RSVPing: Always RSVP by the date specified on an invitation. It is respectful and shows the event host/organiser that you respect them enough to allow them time to arrange the appropriate quantity of catering and to arrange an appropriate amount of seating or party favours etc. By not letting someone know whether you are attending, you are putting them in a position that is unnecessarily stressful and shows your lack of thoughtfulness. It also makes you appear quite inconsiderate and self centred. If you truly do not know whether you can attend or not (perhaps due to exceptional circumstances) it can be nice to let the host know – they will surely be understanding.

Double Dipping at Parties: If you must dip again, make sure you turn your breadstick around or break it up first!

Socialising while Contagious: Don’t do it! You might be having a great time, but the people you’re spluttering on are not going to enjoy themselves when they catch your cold/flu/flesh eating virus! You might want to consider the fact that other guests may have jobs to attend, exams to sit, children to look after or very vulnerable relatives of their own who cannot afford to catch a virus as well. Same goes for Working while Contagious. And all the employers/friends who pressure you to turn up anyway? Shame on them!!

Ending a Relationship (this one’s for you, Bronnie): Don’t do it via text message. Especially if it’s going to seem like it’s come out of nowhere. You cowardly twat.

Basically, all pieces of advice I would have to give would come under the one category: Don’t be a douchebag. Simple, really. In fact, that would totally be the title of my book. I really think I might be onto something. Get me a publishing deal, stat!!

 

If you were writing a book on etiquette, what advice would you give?

Schmanonymous! Or…No-one likes a drama llama.

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This post has been inspired by the twitter conversation I just had with the lovely Leah, Bronnie and Scribbles 🙂

I have a confession to make. It’s probably the world’s worst kept secret but I used to have an anonymous blog (So I Was Thinking…). It wasn’t exactly salacious, scandalous or controversial in the slightest – in fact it was more like a weekly (on average) posting of my most silly thoughts, life learnings and embarrassing moments! It was amusing to write and hopefully the 90+ subscribers thought it was not so bad to read 🙂

How did I maintain anonymity? I never put my real first name (it’s Keri by the way – cool huh) or last name in writing on the blog site. I never named my hometown specifically (it’s truly a small world) and I kept my husband’s name out of it, using a very generic handle for him (The Hubby). I also made sure that (in true narcissistic form) the blog was mostly about ME. In other words, I did not tell other people’s stories for them (as it would be unfair – they didn’t know I had a blog) and I did not discuss sensitive matters (ie airing dirty laundry). I was respectful and I wrote as if anyone I knew was reading it – especially any drama llamas (we all know some) who might have popped up for me in the past (when I was younger and less smarterer).

I also had a disclaimer on my blog – kind of a friendly warning that my blog was designed to entertain and not to stir up trouble or discuss private matters. That should be done in person at the right time in the right place.

I never posted identifying photos of myself, my husband, my friends or my family – just my pets 🙂

I just wanted to practice writing, enjoy sharing my silly stories and being the dork that I am. If you are from my real life world reading this, please don’t think you missed out on much – I’ll be making up for it well and truly on this blog!

Now…I am in a different place. My life is changing and I have been growing as a person. My confidence in myself is fairly sturdy (with a few only human wobbly moments) and I realise that I am a very vanilla kind of person, really. I have always been honest, but loving and genuine about it. I have always maintained a great sense of appropriateness with workplaces, social networking and blogging. I realise that if I can successfully run a Facebook page without a drama llama in sight – why can’t I just be free to be me? I do admit I enjoyed my anonymity (and the safety it brought) but I want to be an open (but appropriate and well thought out) book. I’m ready – bring it on!

I know that I am not perfect and things happen in life that can leave me speechless, shaking and completely dumbfounded (awesomely unprepared is a great title, right?) but I do know that I learn from my mistakes and I am a pretty good person 🙂

I’m funny (well in a Dad Humour kind of way), compassionate, intelligent and realistic. Why not let people in my life see that if they feel like it? Anyone who truly knows me would see “me” in my writings and totally get it. Anyone who doesn’t might get a better understanding of me (uh-oh)!

My only embarrassment will probably be convincing those of a non blogging persuasion that it is not just a hobby that people with no lives have (grr that annoys me). I am a writer at heart – always have been. I have the time (for now) and I spend time blogging when other people are playing Playstation games or reading a book or googling all their medical symptoms. I’m creative at heart and this is one outlet where I can express myself – I love getting thoughts like, “Ooh – what can I blog about this week?”

I have many bloggy friends from all over the world and it’s an amazing community of diverse people with lives I get to step into whenever I like. Amazing 🙂

How do you feel about blogging? Do you have an opinion on anonymity?

Please make sure you update your readers/subscriptions/RSS feeds etc for my new URL 🙂