Tag: baking adventures

The Happy List #21

Each week I write a list of the things that have made me happy. Sometimes I feel excited about it and at other times I have to dig a bit deeper, because I’m tired or something really annoyed me or turned to shit. You know – first world problems and all. I keep going because I think it is important to remember the good things, even if you’re not really feeling it. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives – our brains seem programmed that way – so I like to bring the positives to the foreground so I can appreciate them properly. Even if they’re really simple moments, they are still nice to think about.

So here are the things that have made me happy this week…

I survived something I was really nervous about

That’s it really. We’ve all been there. How good is the relief after all is said and done?

Watching 2009 Kez get closer and closer to finishing uni

I don’t know about you, but I am a big fan of that ‘on this day’ feature of Facebook. I like looking back on what I was doing/thinking/posting however many years ago on any given day. All of my pre-2009 posts are full of stress about uni and studying! Firstly, I am sure I bored the heck out of my Facebook friends at the time because it was all I went on about for a while, but secondly, it brings back just how full on and intense my course was. I was with a great bunch of girls who all pushed to do our best and I am so grateful for that. It was my second go at uni (I tried teaching but it wasn’t for me) and I really appreciated my tertiary education so much more by then. I was NOT going to fail. This meant that the pressure I put on myself was immense, but it paid off. I am so happy for 2009 Kez each day as she gets closer to graduating (she has just finished her classes and is preparing for exams). I am grateful for my degree in Behavioural Science every single day, because I might not be using it so much in a professional sense these days, but it really shaped and informed my views about the world around me, the decisions I make, and my understanding of why people do what they do. I feel like it’s made me a better person.

2009 Kez does put me off doing any further study for now, but I hope Future Kez gets inspired at some point.

A bottle shop opened up around the corner from my house

Um, hello. No explanation necessary.

I baked and it turned out great!

I wanted to make something nice to take to the inlaws’ for my father in law’s birthday. I knew nobody would mind if I bought a cake, but I hadn’t baked properly in a while and it felt like a good idea. I’d had a big week and it felt kind of therapeutic. I was a bit nervous because whenever you make a big cake, you can’t cut into it or taste test it until it’s presented to the recipient/s. I could not have been happier when it was cut open and everyone declared that it was delicious. Phew! I think the chopped up bits of Mars Bars on top might have helped my case too haha. This is a terrible photo but there was no time for styling – this is real life and everyone wanted to eat it!
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The Little Mister named his toy dog after my childhood dog without even knowing it and my heart burst

Last night the Little Mister told me his stuffed toy dog’s name was Bo Bo. I was taken aback because that was the name of the first dog family dog we ever had growing up. He was a special pooch – a real character. What a blast from the past.

I told the Little Mister about the real Bo Bo and how amazing it was that the toy and the real dog had the same name. He looked so happy with that. I asked him if Nanna and Poppy had told him about Bo Bo but he said they hadn’t. I couldn’t remember ever really bringing it up either. He carried his newly named Bo Bo everywhere with him around the house and asked to sleep with him and while I really don’t think there’s room in his bed for another comfort item, it somehow got past us (i.e. Mr Unprepared was a bigger softie than me).

I think I have something in my eye. I mean, what are the odds? He went through a phase of calling everything Poo Poo or Pee Pee, so you know what we’re working with.

Even if he has been told about the real Bo Bo and we’ve just forgotten (or his information about Nanna and Poppy not telling him is a bit dodgy), I still think it’s incredibly touching. Especially as he’s been missing my brother who moved interstate and his grandparents on both sides have been travelling a lot.

NAWWWWWWWWWW.

Kids can be really annoying but they also really get you in the feels.

So what’s on your happy list this week?

The Happy List #9

The Happy List#9

 

The time has come to think about the stuff that made me happy in the past week. Things are getting slightly better around here. I had a week where I fought off my old frenemy anxiety (haaaave you met Patrice?), but I think I’m starting to come out the other side. The Little Mister hasn’t been sick all week (probably jinxing it yet again but what the hell). It’s August. I’m starting to see light at the end of this wintery tunnel.

A Saturday sleep in

This never happens. In fact, I technically didn’t sleep in, but I love having the ability to get up on my own terms while Mr Unprepared tends to the Little Mister. This has hardly ever happened in the past few months because of his full on cycling habit (and training for an upcoming charity ride). It’s nice and it’s peaceful. And I’m using it to blog haha.

My mum’s birthday

On Thursday, my mum turned *cough probably shouldn’t tell you cough*. It was lovely to go to lunch with her, my brother and dad even popped in on his lunch break from work. It was like old times! I had the yummiest Japanese style tempura and panko crumbed prawns. Still not the authentic ramen I’ve been missing since we went away last year, but pretty great!

We’re going to my parents’ today. My grandparents and uncle will be there. I love extended family catch ups. There’s not many of us but it’s a lovely close knit group. I made my mum a lemon meringue pie for sweets (my first ever attempt) and I cannot wait to cut into that bad boy and see if I got it right! My mum doesn’t know what I made yet and has been very clear about wanting it to be a surprise. I’m hoping she doesn’t read my blog until afterwards haha.

Sneak peek (it’s not as pretty as I thought it would be – bit too brown – but nothing seemed to go horribly wrong so that’s a win!)…

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Rain on the tin roof at night While I am completely and utterly over winter, there’s one thing I can still enjoy about it. I love the sound of it on our tin roof. When we first moved in, I thought it was SO LOUD because I’d always lived in houses with tiled roofs (I totally googled the plural of roof and I am told the modern version is roofs so glad I cleared that up). Now I love it. Must be like a peaceful white noise type thing. As long as I am inside, all voluntarily snuggled up when it happens, it is just lovely.

The Little Mister falling asleep on the couch You don’t understand. All his life, he’s never been the ‘spontaneous fall asleep anywhere’ kind of baby/kid. It would only ever happen if I’d rocked him or he’d been in the car or something. I’d seen all those pictures on Facebook of children falling asleep into their dinner or in the middle of doing something cute and thought, nawwww – that’s so adorable! Why doesn’t the Little Mister do that? Where’s the off switch? Well, this week I got my wish. Sure, it was 4pm but it was just beautiful. He was snoring like a tractor, with a drool puddle on the couch cushion the size of his head, but it made me so happy. Also, he’d been reeeeally annoying just moments earlier, so the quiet was nice haha.

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Running 1km without stopping While I admit that I haven’t really been on the treadmill as much as I could have this week, I was pretty excited to reach a new little milestone a few days ago. I can now run 1km without stopping (at 8km an hour for those playing at home). That’s like 1/5 of my goal to run 5km by the end of the year! Yay! I just hope I can keep it up! Still counting down until I can get out and about – I think it wouldn’t seem like such a slog if I was in the real world, looking at real scenery.

Other happy stuff…

  • The Little Mister sassing me when I was prepping the ingredients for the lemon meringue pie. I was taking a while and he looked at me and said, “You’re not making Nanna a cake – you’re just mucking around!” I couldn’t keep a straight face. Smart arse.
  • Cuddles on the couch with the Little Mister last night. We watched Marley and Me (until the sad part when the DVR conveniently cut out).
  • The Little Mister being well enough to attend day care 2 times out of 2 this week! A winter miracle! I even got to go to work!
  • Getting my little pay packet right when things were getting squeezy – what a relief.
  • Watching the Little Mister achieve new things in swimming lessons last night. What a little star.
  • My nail polish took over a week to chip.
  • I ordered Mr Unprepared’s birthday present 🙂
  • A few days of sunshine – much needed!

What would you put on your happy list right now?

It’s Christmas month…I mean, December!!

You guys, I am so excited. Why (like you even have to ask)? Because it’s December! Which means Christmas! My favourite time of the year, because it’s kind of like it’s EVERYBODY’S birthday all at once! And birthdays are awesome, am I right, baby jeebus?

Unless of course your birthday IS on Christmas day, in which case it probably sucks a little bit because no-one cares and they wrap your presents in Christmas wrapping paper and don’t even get you separate gifts…I take my hat off to you guys…

I love seeing the decorations, eating calorific treats I wouldn’t normally indulge in throughout the year, the feeling of summer festivity in the air (nothing like an Aussie Christmas) and the giving spirit alive in so many of us.

I know. Some of you probably hate me for being so cheesy right now. But I love all of you adorable little grinches, anyway. Because CHRISTMAS!!!

Since the Little Mister came along just over 3 years ago, I’ve been getting more and more excited to share the Christmas spirit with him. This year was a great milestone year because it was the first time he could help Mr Unprepared and I with the decorating (yay for coordination)! I found myself just trying to soak in that moment and really appreciate it. I had to stop myself from making gooey, lovey dovey “nawwwwwwwww” noises every couple of seconds.

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He really liked putting ALL of the baubles (love that word – baubles – it’s ridiculous) on one tiny branch.

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At one point, he found two of our Christmas stockings, took the idea quite literally and strutted around with them on his feet, like he was the bees knees.

Kind of unrelated: What’s so awesome about bees’ knees? I never understood that saying…

So far, we’ve made some salt dough ornaments to paint and the Little Mister has painted some transparent Christmas stickers for the windows (you can’t really tell what they are anymore and all the colours are quite mixed together but ‘nawwww’). The Christmas tree went up yesterday (a day early), because it was the weekend and Mr Unprepared was off work, so we could do it together.

Christmas cookies were made and distributed to the grandparents (and the Little Mister’s belly and Mr Unprepared’s lunchbox and I might have sampled for *ahem* quality control) last week (OK so I cracked before December despite my best efforts haha).

It was so messy and fun letting the Little Mister take the lead (I was mostly just in charge of measuring and the hot oven).

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This cookie man (above) never fails to make me giggle. The dough was a little soft and stretchy, so some of our cookies were a little bit wonky. The Little Mister affectionately called this one “Daddy”. Very amusing. The longer I look at this photo, the more I laugh. I assure you that my husband doesn’t actually look like that…much…(this is just one of several little tests I include in my blog posts to see if he actually reads it as much as he says he does haha).

Who knows what other crazy crafting/baking ideas we’ll tackle next?! I’ve become a little deranged, but in a lovely enthusiastic way, at least (I hope)? I don’t know who I am anymore. I even bought some Christmas presents in OCTOBER. Are you shitting me??

I hope that this month, we can all share the Christmas spirit with our loved ones (whether they are our actual relatives or our various ‘chosen’ families). Let’s all be a little forgiving, very loving and look out for those who might not have as good a Christmas as we are fortunate enough to have.

Let’s drive considerately, keep our stress in check (especially in the supermarket or with those certain relatives) and remember to show the people in our lives that we care. It’s not all about giving extravagant material gifts to one another, but about giving of ourselves somehow.

Happy December, everybody!

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How are you planning to celebrate Christmas this year? If you do not celebrate Christmas, how will you spend your holidays? Do you go nuts like me or are you more restrained? What does a typical Christmas day look like for you? x

Fake it ’til you bake it.

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I didn’t really care for baking until I got pregnant with the Little Mister back in 2011. When the urge hit, I went a little bit nuts (I’m really not joking). Luckily my joy for it has since evened out and now I like doing it regularly. It can be a cost effective way to fill out Mr Unprepared’s work lunches and to provide the Little Mister with interesting enough snacks. It is also the way that I pad out the end of the pay period (when the cupboard and fridge are looking a bit bare). I find ways to throw as many random ingredients into a muffin or some other such thing as I can. Everyone thinks I’ve done something special for them (yay – baked goods), but all I’ve really done is scraped some weird stuff together so we don’t have to go back to the supermarket any sooner than we have to!

(and yes I do love love love online grocery shopping but sometimes I forget to order it ahead of time or can’t be bothered which is probably the most lazy – or tired if I’m kind to myself – a person can possibly be)

But make no mistake. I am not actually that awesome at it! I am never going to be on Masterchef and I honestly do not really know what I’m doing most of the time! I am not spending hours studying the art of whatever it is that people who can cook real good study (and I’m not even going to apologise for that poorly constructed sentence). I’m a total fake and I don’t care if everyone knows it.

It can be hard to find time to gather ingredients and it can be difficult to then create something with them, with a demanding toddler (who as much as I love his enthusiasm is not always as helpful as he – bless his heart – thinks he is).

*whispers* Sometimes? Sometimes I use *gasp* PACKET MIX. Yeah. Those cupcakes on Instagram? PACKET MIX. My secret? Raid the cake decorating section of the baking aisle in any major supermarket *OMG*.

Seriously. No-one cares. THEY TASTE LIKE CAKE.

Another tip? Have a baking kit. Once I started to keep one, shit got so much easier. I can bake almost any time I have a chance, instead of thinking, “WHAT? This recipe requires FLOUR? What kind of f*ckery is this?”

Here’s what I keep in it (always replenishing stocks):

  • Self raising flour
  • Plain flour
  • Caster sugar
  • Icing mix/icing sugar
  • Brown sugar
  • Baking soda
  • Vanilla extract
  • Cocoa
  • Patty cases
  • Measuring cups
  • Measuring spoons

Well, those are the basics, anyhow. It sounds like a lot, but if you go to the shops just the once, to begin with, the hard part is done! I’ve slowly added some extra bits and pieces (piping bag with nozzles or choc chips and sprinkles etc), but those simple things can get you a long way if you have some eggs, butter and milk in the fridge (don’t even get me started on how awesome and magical and versatile eggs are)! I know a lot of you are looking at this thinking, Kez. This is hardly revolutionary. I mean, who doesn’t have these things? Well, all you people who can probably bake better than me, until recently, I did not have these things. Ever. Every single attempt to bake was either thwarted from the get go or involved a time consuming, inconvenient special visit to the supermarket. It made it all a BIG DEAL. So tiring, really.

Now I just google recipes that have the ingredients I have to work with (e.g. a banana and a lemon or something equally weird) and get started! The other day it was canned corn kernels, store bought salsa dip and grated cheese!! WTF? I find that taste.com.au is an awesome resource (and no this is not a sponsored post – it is just my honest and independent opinion).

Another tip? Keep it frickin’ simple. Stay the f*ck away from recipes with ingredients you’ve never heard of or will never use again. Stop reading that recipe when it starts talking about doing weird things with the ingredients that you do not know how to do and cannot learn that day. I mean, I admire those who like a challenge, but for anyone like me who just needs to put something on the table to avoid mutiny, just stick to what you can handle! Use what you’ve already got. Trust me. People will think you are way more awesome than you feel you really are. Don’t make it more stressful than it has to be! There are HEAPS of really tasty recipes out there that I just know you’ll be able to handle. Also…Siri is a gun at converting things like farenheit to celcius, so don’t worry if that awesome recipe from an American blog/website/Pinterest sounds scary with all its weird numbers and measurements 😉

I do love learning new things here and there. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to master a new skill. I just don’t always have the time for it and I’m so OK with that.

Fake it ’til you bake it.

Or buy it from the shops. No judgement here haha.

How are you at cooking/baking? What’s your favourite thing to make? Or are you the buy it at the shops type? x

Out of place.

This post has been inspired by Fat Mum Slim’s September Photo a Day challenge x

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Everywhere I go in my house, SOMETHING is out of place at all times. I think that’s the definition of a house that’s ‘lived in’. Especially when your home is lived in by a toddler. Sometimes it gets out of control to the point where I’m frustrated, but other times it’s kind of comforting and I know I would miss it if it wasn’t there. I feel grateful for the fact that I have a messy little munchkin or a munchkin at all.

Yesterday, my ‘out of place’ companions were Humpty and Fergus from Play School (the Little Mister recently went to a concert). They watched over me while I decorated the cake I’d made for my Gramps’ 90th birthday celebration. The rest of the kitchen was chaotic, so what’s the harm in a couple of extra onlookers?

The cake turned out OK in the end. I tried layering with whipped cream in the middle for the first time. Gosh, I was sh*tting myself the whole time I put it together! It was lovely to have the whole family marvelling at it. Oh, the jokes (and the iPhones out everywhere snapping pics). I admit it was a bit OTT, but I had a vision and I had to make it happen!

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It was basically two ‘Anne’s (if you don’t know WTF an ‘Anne’ is then click here) shoved together, with a massive layer of whipped cream in the middle. I topped it with strawberries (because healthy bahaha) and some crumbled up Cadbury Flake.

Half of the cake was left over and Mr Unprepared has taken some to work to offload it! Happy Monday, Mr Unprepared’s Work Colleagues!

Anyway, a great day with family was had and by the time we’d devoured my brother’s amazingly moist (how do you feel about the word moist?) roast chicken and veggies, plus my crazy cake aka Tower of Regret, we were stuffed!

It’s back on the healthy bandwagon today! My body is screaming out for it haha.

How was your weekend? What did you get up to? x

I need…this cake to work out.

 This post has been inspired by Fat Mum Slim’s September Photo a Day challenge x

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You are getting a look inside my mixing bowl, everybody. I took this shot just before I was going to mix it. I was holding my breath and hoping like crazy that it might still work out OK, even though the Little Mister had poured some water into it, before I could measure the right amount. I only looked away for a second, I SWEAR!

But back to the beginning…

I was attempting to make a beautiful cake called Anne, a  famous creation by Baby Mac (Aussie blogging royalty)! I had been seeing this gorgeous cake everywhere. Instagram and Facebook were raving about it (#anne). It looked so great in all its forms. It looked majestic and…TALL. Do you know how bad I am at making beautiful cakes that don’t look flat and a bit sad? I was convinced that this cake must be magical and googled the recipe. IT LOOKED SO EASY. All the ingredients could be found in my cupboard! And guess what? Father’s Day is tomorrow and Mr Unprepared and I are hosting it and I hadn’t been able to decide on what to have for dessert! Shock horror, I’d considered buying it (that’s mock shock horror – I have no issue with buying everything – you should see the pre-cut and peeled veggies I’ve bought for the roast haha). Now, with such a foolproof recipe, I knew I wouldn’t need to. I could brag about cooking this stunner of a cake from scratch. It would surely be easier than the cake fail I created for the non-the-wiser-ever-so-easy-to-please Little Mister’s 2nd birthday!

That was until the recipe called for a cup of cold water, with half a teaspoon of bi carb soda. I’d put some water in a cup and took a lightning quick moment to measure out the bi carb, when…the Little Mister grabbed the water and poured a mystery amount in, the remainder spilling down the kitchen bench, onto the floor.

I cried out, “Noooooo!”

And then felt guilty…didn’t want to make him feel bad, because he was trying to help and I try to make it my mission not to scar him for life, especially not over stuff like cake.

I then guessed (and I’m sh*t at guessing measurements) how much water was missing from the bowl, pouring it in with the bi carb. The Little Mister was put on dish washing duty (his favourite activity where he feels helpful and gets to splash around in the sink without actually washing a single thing) and I prayed for the best.

An hour later, my oven timer went off and I went to pull the cake out a bit so I could give it the old skewer test. It wobbled. Like a water bed (weird comparison but all I’ve got). Uh oh. I chucked it back in, shut the door and desperately set the timer for another 20 minutes. Perhaps I had added a little too much water. I decided this cake was a write off. It could be divided into pieces and taken by Mr Unprepared to work, where he could snack on it next week. I’ll just make a second cake, I thought. Only, without the Little Mister in the kitchen (who I love so much and usually enjoy baking with…when there’s no pressure to impress people who don’t live in our house).

I don’t know what happened and maybe it’s the magic of Anne, but I appear to have been worried about nothing! She came out tall, perfectly shaped, in one piece and as she cooled, I started to realise this might just still work out (OK so my husband was the voice of reason). Besides, there was a whole lot of buttery frosting to slather on (with some crushed Cadbury Flake chocolate on top to make it fancy as hell).

I can’t wait to show her off tomorrow and I hope the dads of my family will love her.

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I’m sure she’ll look more amazing when she’s sitting all pretty on a nice white plate, but for now, she’s in my cake container, awaiting her debut.

The Little Mister might have freaked me out, but he was full of enthusiasm and love for baking, so he was quickly forgiven and blessed with many samples of the frosting. In case you were worried about him 🙂

Have you made Anne before? Do you think you’d give her a go? Had any cake fails? x

Stripes: My kitchen.

This post has been inspired by Fat Mum Slim’s Photo a Day challenge xunnamed

About the photo: The only time I have to blog today is this morning, so I was confined to finding a photo in my house of ‘stripes’. I tried taking an artistic photo of my stripy Jamie Oliver tea towel hanging on the oven rack, but that was a fail. I thought about taking a photo of my daggy, striped skirt that I wear around the house. I could not get a good angle on the Little Mister’s IKEA circus tent. The list goes on. Stripes is harder than it sounds! So, here’s a corner of my kitchen. White tiles with black grout. It’s my shamozzle of a corner. A toaster, some cereal that never seems to get eaten, pasta, sugar, a little bit of coffee that only gets consumed when my parents come over (Mr Unprepared is more into tea and I just enjoy water because I’m a wanker). Sometimes there’s a slow cooking crock pot or a mixer shoved in there too. I blurred it out a bit under the pretence of placing the focus on the stripes, but really, it’s a shamozzle. One day it will be pretty.

My Kitchen.

I’ll be honest. I’m very territorial about my kitchen. I must cook in there alone (unless I’m doing a little baking with the Little Mister). I don’t like someone else in there fussing (looking at you Mr Unprepared) while I’m in there. I think it’s true that the kitchen is the heart of a home. Especially these days, with all this open plan stuff. The kitchen attracts everyone – like moths to a flame. Moths that I must drive out with threats and the occasional flick of the tea towel! I always joke that when in the kitchen, Mr Unprepared becomes ten times his usual size, because despite us not being massive people, it feels like I’m tripping over him at every turn!!! Sharing the space just does not work. I know this because we’ve tried.

Our kitchen isn’t particularly big. There isn’t much bench space. The power points for appliances don’t seem to be in the most convenient spots. Storage is juuuust enough. But it’s still my kitchen. It’s better than no kitchen! It does the job. The most romantic thing (well maybe not the most romantic but it rates up there haha) Mr Unprepared has ever done is took me oven shopping as soon as humanly possible after our old oven died. He understood my heartbreak. Good man.

These days, cooking a meal in peace (or baking) is a real treat. Obviously I cook a lot of meals without peace. But when I get the kitchen to myself, it’s bliss. A real luxury, trying out a new recipe, no-one underfoot. The time to do it justice. All the ingredients already in my home. For me, it’s the kind of activity that brings me peace. I know that doesn’t work for everyone (Mr Unprepared is a ‘get everything on the boil all at once and then freak out’ guy), but for me, there’s something nice about timing everything just right, sorting the ingredients out and lining them all up ready to go before I get started.

I am NOT a master chef in any way, shape or form. I go through recipe after recipe, only choosing to cook the ones that have ingredients and instructions that I understand or have heard of. I just cook for the love of it. Oh, and I love food. Eating food is just the best. Probably not always a great thing, but damn, food is delicious.

I think I really got excited about cooking and baking when Mr Unprepared stopped working a FIFO job and was home almost every night (just before I got pregnant with the Little Mister – phew). I had no joy in cooking for just myself and would exist on spag bol four nights in a row or get take-away food (what a perfect model of health – not!). It’s great having people to cook for. People who have to eat what I cook or starve (*evil laugh*).

Now I find such joy in convincing the Little Mister to eat his vegetables (or tricking him into it). He’s my harshest critic. If he likes something, it’s all smiles and ‘YUMMY’. If it’s not to his liking? “BLERGH”. There’s no sugar coating it! We’ve got peas and pumpkin mastered (again), recently. We’ve never celebrated so hard! If only the Little Mister knew how many amazing veggies he happily ate before he turned 18 months old and became picky! We’ll get there. I’ll just need some more alone time in the kitchen… 😉

Tell me about your kitchen! Do you like to cook? 

My Pregnant Kitchen.

So I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but there’s this hilarious youtube series called My Drunk Kitchen. It’s a simple principle really. A really funny chick gets absolutely smashed on booze, then cooks something – all on video! Now, I don’t normally condone binge drinking or the use of kitchen appliances (that are sharp or hot) while intoxicated, but seriously. That sh*t makes me laugh out loud. Like total LOL.

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My favourite My Drunk Kitchen vid.

Which gets me thinking – what if you were a fly on the wall in my kitchen? Maybe I should start a series called My Pregnant Kitchen.

Today as I buzzed around trying to make about three things at once, I realised just how ridiculous I am.

Imagine making cupcakes, fresh bread rolls (for the first time ever) and a savoury mince all at once.

Timers going off everywhere. Flour on everything. Dishes stacked upon dishes. A crazy woman (that’s me) in a caftan while the heater is on (hey – it’s PUPPP rash friendly clothing) in the middle of winter.

At some point in the middle of all of it, I was tweeting. I was doing internet banking. I was watching Oprah (from another room – that takes skill). I was getting ingredients ALL over my bump (which sticks out a bit now that I’m in the 23rd week), because I realised I couldn’t get up as close to the kitchen bench as I usually would. Turns out there’s this extra spillage space created now. Every now and then I would stop, stare at the offending food particles, dust them off or sneak a taste because hey, no-one was looking.

I was kneading dough like a madwoman. I was that into it that it took me half the time the recipe specified to make it “smooth and elastic”. I was chopping vegetables frantically while browning minced beef on the stove. I was frosting cupcakes while baking bread rolls. I was a machine. I was washing dirty dishes so I could use them straight away again for something else. I was mentally planning out the week’s budget. I was mumbling to myself (but very quietly because the Husband Man was sleeping off a night shift) in a demented manner.

How the hell do I know if the milk is too warm or not warm enough? And when the hell is the yeast/milk concoction considered frothy? Is that frothy? It kind of bubbles when I tip it. This is so frickin’ weird. Is this going to turn out? I’m expecting an epic fail on the bread roll situation.

I was fielding emails and social invitations. I was reading recipes and then forgetting what they said and reading them again less than a minute later to remind myself (baby brain). At some point I wandered off and started folding towels from the pile of clean washing in the spare room.

While finely chopping onions I started to cry. And then I couldn’t figure out if it was really the onions or my crazy hormones. I really am elegant as f*ck.

You would have seen me remove the flour from the pantry. Use it in a recipe. Put it back in the pantry. Realise I needed it again for something else. Take it out of the pantry. Put it back in the pantry. Find out I wasn’t done with it. Pull it back out and use it. Put it back in the pantry. All in the space of about five minutes. I am a space case.

I swear I was even thinking about the meaning of life during this whole time. That happens sometimes. It’s called multi tasking, bitches.

And no, after all that I can’t actually tell you the meaning of life. I was too busy hoping my bread rolls would turn out OK and that my cupcakes weren’t going to end up like little rocks to pay attention to silly things like the meaning of life. Who knows? Maybe I even figured it out at some point, but forgot it again. Now we’ll never know what it is. I wonder how much wisdom is lost this way? I might be a spiritual guru and not even know it.

You know those pictures of ladies who look so serene, wearing their 50s pin up style immaculate hair and pristine dresses with the full skirts? The ones you see gently stirring a cupcake batter, while calmly keeping an eye on the stove?

Yeah, I’m nothing like that.

I’m more like a kitchen tornado. The anti Master Chef if you will.

I managed to serve up a lovely feed of fresh, hot rolls with savoury mince to Husband Features. His dessert was a set of cupcakes with I <3 U written on them (yeah how adorably corny and spew worthy). The dishes looked superb (while the kitchen did not), but I collapsed on the couch looking like I’d been dragged through a nightclub at 3am backwards. By a really big bouncer.

It’s hard work being a housewife. I think I’m doing it wrong. Maybe I’m too sober?

Either way, I’m kind of glad my nesting fever has come back 🙂

What’s your kitchen style?