Tag: attitudes and beliefs

C-Section? God damn right you gave birth.

Brace yourselves. I have my ranty pants on. I try to keep this a place where I do not share bad things (I’m not into hate reading or outrage mongering), but as I’ll explain…there’s a reason I’ve made an exception for this one. Oh, and excuse my french. Oops.

Sadly, you might have seen this fucking bullshit on Facebook. It’s doing the rounds (originally shared by some whack job “church”). Honestly, I don’t think it deserves air time. When I first saw it, despite having had a C-section, despite this garbage going against everything I believe, I just rolled my eyes at these pathetic people (who I will not link to because that’s what they’d want) and moved on. There will always be people online who are looking for your outrage. Who will feed off the hate and the anger and the hurt of others.

But then, I thought about it. While I have had over 3 years to accept the feelings and thoughts and doubts that come along with having a C-section, I think back to a vulnerable time as a new mother. The second guessing. The processing of a birth that didn’t really go the way you thought or hoped it might. No matter how open minded you thought you were going into the process.

You believe things that you see in your newsfeed while you’re feeding your baby in the oddest hours. When you’re tired, you’re overwhelmed, you’re confused – how can you love another being THIS much but find it THIS challenging at the same time? WHAT IF I FUCK IT UP? All the so called experts up in your grille. The unsolicited advice from every human ever. All the self inflicted comparisons between yourself and all the other new mothers who for some reason always seem to have their shit together (hot tip: they probably don’t any more than you do) when you feel like you’re barely getting the hang of it.

I have some words to counter the utter crap spewed by this so called church below…
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OK. So are you in disbelief too? Speechless that people like this exist? Mad? Insulted? Got a bad taste left in your mouth? Well, firstly, you’re my kind of people and I love you for it.

Secondly, here’s my message to all new mothers who have had C-sections…

You are brave. You are a warrior. YOU GOT CUT IN HALF, YOUR INSIDES EVERYWHERE, AND YOU’RE STILL HERE LOOKING AFTER YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY. Damn straight you gave birth. You delivered (with a little life saving help) a VERY special gift to this world. YOU ARE HERE TO MOTHER IT. YOU are a gift to this world. To this child. If you had your life and the life of your baby spared with the miracle of modern medicine, then you DID catch a lucky break. And there is NO SHAME in that. NONE. EVERY mother who gets through childbirth with their child alive has had a lucky break. There is NO SHAME IN HOW ANYBODY BROUGHT THEIR BABY INTO THIS WORLD. INTO THEIR LIVES. Hell, I’m adopted for pete’s sake!!

Chances are, you even had to go through labour AND surgery! How bad-ass is that?!

So tell people your truth with your head held high, “Hi – my name is *insert your name here*. My beautiful baby’s name is *insert their name here*. I GAVE BIRTH via a C-section. We are happy and we are here. The end.”

Here’s another truth: No woman is more superior than another for how she became a mother. All mothers are doing the most amazing, life changing job in the world. We are shaping the future and we are raising the world’s citizens. Whether you gave birth a certain way (or didn’t in the case of adoption), whether you fed your child a certain way or not, whether you work outside the home or not, does not matter. You brought life into this world. YOU DID GOOD. YOU ARE AMAZING.

And trust me. NO-ONE knows what the fuck they are doing (even if it seems like they do from the outside or from a bunch of social media pictures). I can tell you that much. But we do our best. We learn on the job. We are brave and we are committed. No matter what else happens, that baby has us. Because society believes we are valuable enough for them to intervene and keep us safe during childbirth. WE COUNT.

Your experience was just as real and valid as anyone else’s. It totally happened and it totally changed your life. FACT.

We are here so we can teach our children to be accepting, beautiful, inclusive human beings who believe in spreading love rather than hate.

I think that’s what’s really important here, don’t you?

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Inspiration: Living a more authentic life.

Sometimes I like to seek out inspirational quotes that make me feel like I can do this whole life thing. Stuff I can meditate on. And by meditate, I mean think about and reflect on. Not actually meditate. Because I am crap at actual meditation, even though I know I should do it more because it does work. Hmm…maybe I should find some inspirational quotes about meditation. That might help.

But today is not that day (sorry Mum).

Today I have put together a handful of quotes (found on Pinterest) around the theme of living more authentically. I think that living a life where we’re really honest with ourselves and others, is the best way to achieve inner peace and lessen the constant mental turmoil.

Here they are. I think I will let them speak for themselves (I won’t add my own personal notes this time because I think these kinds of things can be quite personal and I’d love for you to find your own meaning for them):

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Did any of these quotes resonate with you?

Inspiration: Stuff I’ve needed to read.

I hope everyone has had a merry Christmas. I had a great day filled with love, thoughtful gifts (plus a selfie stick hahaha) and wonderful people, but I admit that I am feeling a little flat in the aftermath (in the interest of keeping it real – the lead up was emotionally trying for many reasons as it can be for many people at this time of year). I’ve been searching for some quotes to give me a bit of an inspirational hit because I need to find my energy and enthusiasm again!

I hope that these quotes inspire you too…
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I need to remember that doing the same thing over and over and wondering why it feels like crap each time is not the answer. Life is constantly giving us chances to learn and grow and change – we need to take them.

There is some stuff that I don’t plan on repeating.

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Sooooo much easier said than done. But I shall keep on trying.

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There are people in life who replenish us and make us feel full of life and energy and those who…well, those who don’t. I want to be a fountain. I want to surround myself with other fountains. I want my legacy to be that I gave and I energised and I made people feel better for being around me. I want to be more selective about who I ‘put myself out there’ for. I can’t let myself become an empty vessel trying to please the ‘wrong’ people. Self care is important too.

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Ain’t that the truth. I want to be beautiful 😉

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Yep. We are grown up people and we have the power to lead our lives the way that is best for us. Sometimes it can be easy to forget.

And I am feeling a tiny bit better. Hope all is well with you. I want to jump into 2015 with a great attitude and make it a kick arse year if ever there was one.

x

A Christmas message from (someone who is not) the Queen.

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OK, so I’m not the queen. Unless you’re talking about the queen of procrastination. Because I’m supposed to wrap the Little Mister’s presents from Santa and it’s halfway through Christmas Eve and I haven’t done it and I’m kind of mad because I thought he had elves to do that kind of annoying stuff? What kind of show are you running here, Santa? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

I am also in no way regal or ‘proper’. I don’t think ‘the people’ would really appreciate my swearing, burping or crapness at sending a thank you note (although I do always show my appreciation somehow I just find it difficult to put that into writing that goes in the snail mail). Truly.

So here are the things I’d like to say to you all, my motley crew of amazing readers…just read the bits that apply (I have sorted my message into categories for your convenience because I’m awesome like that – you’re welcome):

If you do not celebrate Christmas…

I don’t care. I love you, man/woman. I hope you enjoy the holiday and whichever customs/traditions you most value. Have a great day off and spend it with loved ones! Woohoo! 🙂

PS Sorry about all the Christmas stuff – probably bored the pants off you. Thanks for hanging in there. Back to regular programming soon!

If you have children in your life…

Hug them really tight at this special time of year. As 2014’s news headlines have shown us, we are so lucky to have them and they are so lucky to have us. I hope you find joy in all the little traditions and create some very special memories. I know I am out-of-my-head excited to see the Little Mister enjoying all the Christmas wonder this year. He is starting to understand what Santa does and has helped with everything from baking to decorating the Christmas tree, to making gifts for loved ones.

May Santa deliver the presents safely (with no interruptions from excited sleepless children) and may you get some rest before The Big Day. May your children remain lovely, despite the sugar and the probable inability to nap properly.

I hope your day is magical. It really is so awesome to celebrate with children around.

If you are having a tough time…

Maybe you are grieving the loss of loved ones. Maybe you have just had the mother load of bad luck land on your doorstep and it feels like you can never catch a break. Maybe your family drives you f*cking insane at this time of year. Perhaps you struggle with mental illness or you feel lonely for whatever the reason. Just know that I am thinking of you. Do Christmas your way this year. Find small joys. Let love in. You deserve happiness, even if you’re not feeling it – just know you’re worthy of it. Let difficult people know you’re not interested in unnecessary drama or hurtful things. This should be a time of peace, but I get that it rarely is for many people. I still hope for you that you will have a peaceful Christmas somehow. I hope 2015 brings you better things.

If you saw my Little Mister have a mini meltdown at Woolies the other day…

You. Are. Wonderful. Human. Beings. Your kindness and your empathy were just so refreshing. What fantastic people. A little love shared by the baking aisle and then the fridges where they keep the quiches. Oh, you – I have all the time in the world for you. Let’s all be those lovely people at Christmas time. We’re all tired, we all have stress of varying degrees. A lot of us have tired children too. Let’s show a little kindness. We’re all in the same boat. Let’s survive it together! 🙂

A message for all of you…

Often Christmas time is a time of reflection for me. In amongst the chaos, I think about what family means to me. About the memories of my own childhood I’d like to recreate for my Little Mister. I think about how to do it better next year – how to give more freely and creatively, avoid negative stresses and to keep improving on the positives. It’s no wonder so many of us think about our new year’s resolutions at this time!

I hope that wherever you are, however you celebrate Christmas, that you have a wonderful day and a great holiday period. I hope you and your families stay safe and have plenty to eat. I hope there is laughter. Joy. Closeness. A nanna nap (lucky for those who can get it). Loose pants. Comfort. That you are lucky enough to feel the generosity of those around you. That you feel great because you gave too. May your Christmas most importantly, bring you the things that money can’t buy.

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It’s all about your attitude.

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As some of you might know, I was struggling with feelings surrounding my adoption that reappeared as we started planning our first holiday to my birth country for later this year (it’s coming up fast – hold me). However, I blogged about it and I reached out to my family and loved ones. I felt encouraged and supported and despite being drained and confused, I felt like I could just release those feelings – throw them up in the air and surrender to letting them fall where they may.

It turns out I got quite a quick (but unexpected) cure for this recent unrest the other night. There was some interaction between some adoptees in a Facebook group that really made me realise the importance in having a good attitude. You can’t control the sh*tty things that happen to you (or happened to you in the past) but you can control your attitude towards those things. You can choose to be happy (or work diligently towards finding happiness) or you can focus on what’s wrong and how you’ll never be whole or belong anywhere. Misery may love company, but what are you going to do about that misery? Wallow together indefinitely or find ways to lift each other up? I realised that those in the group (the ones who spoke the loudest, that is) were in a different place on a different journey to me. I don’t want to be surrounded by the rhetoric I was witnessing daily. It wouldn’t be beneficial for me, personally. While I do think it’s very important to face your feelings, to honour and acknowledge them and to know you’re not alone when things feel like crap, it is also important to find a way to move forward that may give you peace in your life and improve you as a person. 

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I see my adoption as a part of my history, a part of my life story. A story worth telling, but a story that doesn’t soley define me as a person. A part of my life that has contributed to the person I am today. A part of my life that has felt challenging at worst, but character building and soul enriching at best. I have a good life. I refuse to be the ‘victim’. I am a thriving survivor. My life is better because of it.

Maybe I’m just too idealistic or optimistic, but I believe that we are given tough lessons in life and it’s up to us what we do with them. I refuse to spend any more of my time consumed with bitterness or anger or despair than I need to. Life throws enough of that at a person in their every day lives and I feel like I don’t want to spend time searching for more and delving deeper and deeper into the hole.

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I left that group. I didn’t want to read yet another article (and its subsequent member comments) about why being adopted sucks. I know some of the reasons it can suck, but there is so much more to life than just that. So many blessings to be noticed and appreciated. So many other experiences with adoption that can be laughed at and enjoyed. Some adoption stories are even heartwarming.

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Not seeing the negative challenges of adoption in a very concentrated and biased form each day can only benefit me. Honestly, I do wish for the remaining members (there are many) to find happiness. I do wish them well. Some of them are in a place that I cannot relate to, but I do hope their healing begins or continues. I want them to feel as blessed in life as I do.

I’m not trying to simplify what can often be very complex and difficult situations, but I do believe where possible we should always try to use our energy wisely and positively.

I feel that spending hours on end googling for evidence of everything that allows me to justify feeling sorry for myself would not be a constructive use of my time. I feel that introducing that negative content to my fellow adoptees is not going to benefit them either. Where are the articles on how to navigate ourselves through hardships and come out better? Where is the advice on making the best out of a situation? I have seen none in that group. I’d be hard pressed to ever believe that someone might post an article on the funny side of being adopted or a list of reasons being adopted can be positive. The comments to follow would just be too sad anyhow.That’s OK. That’s their journey (I don’t have the right to tell them how to go about it despite my own opinions), but I have the ability to say that I don’t want it to be mine. I don’t want to spend my whole life chasing something I can’t attain. I have to find peace from the inside out. Life’s too short.

So this is my offering. Just like anything else in life, there is pain and there is joy. There are two sides to each story and we can look for the positives or focus on the negatives.

Also…

I LIKE BEING ADOPTED. I shouldn’t have to feel weird about that. I don’t tell other people they have to like it, so don’t tell me that I’ve been deeply wronged and should be upset about it and we’ll all be cool.

I have issues just like anyone else. Seriously. Who doesn’t have a single issue? No-one, that’s who. Some of mine might have started with my adoption, but the way in which I need to work through them is no different to the way anyone else needs to deal with theirs to better themselves and find happiness.

I remember now who I am and who I want to be. So I guess I have that group to thank. It just came in a surprising way.

I am grateful. For my sake. Not anyone else’s. I choose it.

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Quote-a-licious.

Getting sick this week has given me the opportunity to reflect on some things. I think some of the things that have been on my mind have contributed to me being so run down and not so immune to the germs flying around (I’ve heard this thing I’ve got has been doing the rounds). I’ve thought about some of the quotes I’ve found lately that inspire me and resonate with me.

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I am in a good place and I’m very protective of the hard work I’ve done to get  here. I will not give that up easily!

I need to remember that I am in charge of my happiness. Everything is about attitude.

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I don’t know why people view change as a negative thing. Sure, some people do make changes for the worst (in which case we should show compassion), but when someone steps out of a comfort zone and changes for the better, we should celebrate them. Not resent them for becoming a new person or for revealing a side of themselves that we are not used to. Or worse putting them down because it makes us feel uncomfortable. Our fear of being left behind or finding ourselves at odds with that person are our own insecurities and should not take away from someone else’s wonderful achievements. Maybe we can be inspired by them.

I know we’re so good at the Tall Poppy Syndrome in Australia. It infiltrates all levels of society from celebrities and national heroes to every day families or friendships. There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to stay humble and remember where they have come from. It’s another to simply hate that they’ve grown or changed, just because.

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I’ve seen a lot of people online competing about who’s got the most dramatic life. Who’s been through the most. Who has the hardest job. Who is more tired – parents or non parents (um – who cares?). Why are we so determined to prove to each other who is the most stressed and who has the most right to complain or not complain? It’s OK to admit you’re happy or that you like to keep things chilled and calm. Doesn’t mean your life challenges are any less…challenging. Doesn’t mean you’ve got a perfect life either. Or even a boring one! But let’s spend more time celebrating the good and the peaceful. World peace starts at home, ya’ll.

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There is nothing worse than someone confiding in someone else a wonderful dream that they have…only to have someone react with, “That’s not possible.” Or “That will end badly.” Or “You can’t do that”. Or “Don’t stick your neck out. It will get chopped off.”

No-one makes their dreams into realities by flying under the radar or living without risk. I want everyone near and dear to me to dream big. I am a realist by nature, but where there’s a will there’s a way. Dreams can evolve or change shape until they’re possibilities. I want to support everyone I love who has a ‘big’ dream. How exciting for them 🙂

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RIP to the wise and revolutionary Nelson Mandela. He said many important and inspirational things during his lifetime. This is one of them. Whether we’re talking about civil rights issues, political issues (and there have been a few of late) or about how we ordinary people live our every day lives, this is very important advice. I don’t want to spend my life reacting to things I’m afraid of. I want to aspire towards great things. I’ve done the fear based decision making thing before and it’s no way to live. As a parent of a newborn, I made choices that were based not on my hopes and dreams for my child, but in reaction to the fear of what someone might think if I did a certain thing in public etc. I’ll tell you now – no happiness was to be found in living like that. I am so glad I’ve moved past that way of thinking for the large part (no-one’s perfect – it’s a process). I need to make choices that reflect my hopes for my family – how I can make our family’s dreams come true. I don’t want to just do things because I’m scared that if I don’t do them, I’ll be judged or rejected or less popular. We can’t change our lives (or the lives of people we care about) if we aren’t strong and keep a positive mindset instead of a fearful one. Gotta keep our eyes on the prize and not forget the bigger picture.

So that’s my dose of inspiration for the week. What is inspiring you? x

Don’t bother having a birth ‘plan’.

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I honestly don’t know why they call them that. The fact is, you can’t PLAN your birth process. Even if you have a wonderful labour, you didn’t plan it. It was just a wonderful surprise to know that you were able to have a relatively good experience! To suggest that we can plan childbirth just seems like bollocks to me. Big sweaty ones. It says we’re in control of the process. I’m sorry, but while that thought is nice and sometimes keeps us sane, it just isn’t true.

My advice to first time pregnant mums is to throw out any notion that you are in charge and that everything will happen the way you want it to, because you’ve thought positively, avoided all negative horror stories and you’ve got a birth plan. Hasn’t anyone heard?? You have a birth plan! You did research! People who do research are better at this, right? Everything’s going to go just as you want it to! The truth is, positive thinking and making smart choices are never a bad thing – in fact, I recommend them. However, they don’t make a ‘good’ labour (ie the one you hope for) a sure thing. I feel like society keeps telling us we’re in control of everything. It feels like a comforting thought, but when despite all of your best efforts, something goes wrong…you feel like a failure. You’ve been fooled and pressured into thinking that you’re in charge of such a crazy biological process.

It’s actually liberating to realise you can’t be in charge of all of it. When my pregnancy started to get a little bit nuts, I blamed myself. I was ashamed that all these weird things were happening to me. I thought that those around me (the lucky ducks who have pregnancies that make them feel great) would think that I must be doing something wrong. That I must be thinking negatively, making some erroneous choice with my lifestyle or my diet etc. I knew it wasn’t my fault on an intellectual level (and was told so by more than one doctor/medical professional), but the fear of judgement was probably my biggest mistake of all! It’s just that we have all been brainwashed. It’s misguidedly comforting to tell ourselves that the other person over there with the pregnancy problems or the terrible labour must have done something wrong, because then we can just do it all ‘right’ and we’ll be fine. In a sick way, it reassures us.

In some ways, my crazy pregnancy was the greatest gift. It taught me that I’m not the one driving this bus (at times I looked like one haha). That you can do all of the ‘right’ things, think all of the most positive thoughts, and nature will still take its course. By the time I got closer to my due date, I threw all ideas of a birth ‘plan’ out of the window.

I had birth ‘preferences’. Birth ‘hopes’. Birth ‘wishes’.

I wrote a list of what I hoped for. I wrote a list of things I was willing to do to save myself or the baby (I kind of knew it wouldn’t be straight forward – intuition perhaps). I wrote a list of guidelines for my husband and my family – who I wanted there and when. It wasn’t fancy. It was pen scrawled all over an A4 piece of scrap paper, written off the top of my head. Maybe a list of only about 15 items. Some being very significant, like what I hoped would happen if something should happen to me (incapacitating me in some way), to the not so earth shattering, “Here’s my iPod, if my labour gets long just play it on shuffle – the songs on it keep me calm and inspire me.”

I was obviously hoping for a natural, vaginal birth, but I knew that drugs might help (I was quite unashamedly open to the idea) and that a C-section might be an emergency necessity. I knew from the start of the whole process that I would just be happy to have a healthy baby. I would not spend time mourning the death of a ‘plan’. I had already mourned the smooth, normal pregnancy I hoped I would have. I wasn’t going to do that to myself again.

My new attitude paid off. Because, as you may know, sh*t got crazy. I was in hospital for a mere 3 hours before I was in surgery. I only knew I was in labour about 2 hours before that. My labour was brought on by an infection. I got to 9cm dilated before they had to get me in for an emergency C-section. The epidural was administered in full dosage ahead of time (which made it a bit weird when I tried to push in a last ditch effort – can’t feel ANYTHING down there). I had no choice. I was then tethered (by catheter) to my hospital bed for two days (rather than the customary one day), while my firstborn spent the first 3 days of his life in another hospital without me because he was sick too.

If I had been all about a ‘plan’, I would have been exponentially more devastated and traumatised. Instead I was just shocked and dazed (perhaps it was the pethidine too) and later realised the enormity of what had happened to my baby and I. It took weeks to come to terms with what had happened. It was the biggest thing that had ever happened to me, my baby, or my body and of course it was going to take some getting used to! I am just glad that I didn’t also have the added sadness about things not going to ‘plan’ during the birth. I’d made my wishes known and they’d been respected, but I hadn’t outlined my preferred labour process without having an open mind. I knew anything could happen.

The important things happened. My parents were there to share in the experience (they stayed at the ‘right’ end of me haha) for the first time (I am adopted so it was hugely meaningful for the three of us as my mum has never experienced a pregnancy and I wanted to share this with her – I was so moved by my parents’ gratitude at being invited into such a special and private ‘event’). My husband got to the hospital quickly and was there for just about the whole time – by my side, encouraging me and saying all the right things (seriously!). I was kept safe, as was the Little Mister. No-one tweeted or Facebooked my labour process to the world in real time. I was given gas right when I needed it, surgery before things got horrible, and my baby was alive and likely to stay that way.

What didn’t I expect? What didn’t go to plan?

By complete chance, a top obstetrician just happened to be present when I came into the hospital. He was amazing and kept everyone calm in a tricky situation. Including me. I got optimum attention and care because while the time of my labour was unexpected (I was due to be induced almost a week later), I was the only person giving birth in the ward that night. The ONLY one! If I had been induced when I was expecting to be, the ward would have been FLOODED with people hoping to have their babies on the 11/11/2011 (as I found out later that week after a 6 day stay in the ward). Resources and manpower would have been stretched. The paediatrician who was present was also very good at her job (and to my mum’s delight – the wife of her favourite former professional AFL footballer)!

While not much went remotely as predicted, a lot of things went really right. I am so grateful. I am so glad I can see those blessings. Blessings I could never have planned for.

I’m calling on everyone to stop telling each other that we can plan our destinies. We can’t. We can’t be in control of everything. We can put our ducks in a row. We can be educated. We can make the best choices possible to encourage a great outcome. We can be positive and keep a great mindset. We can work hard. All of this might put us in the right places at the right times, but ultimately not all of it will always work out how we expected. Childbirth is no exception.

I love the way Mia Freedman of Mamamia puts it in her article about “Birthzillas”:

For many, it’s about control. One of the most confronting things about pregnancy and birth is the unpredictability of it and women often believe they can regain control by planning. Babies, however, like to raise their middle finger at your plans. They come early, they come late, they get stuck, they get suddenly distressed or tired or tangled…

After my personal experience, all I think we should care about is what’s best for the baby in that moment. I’m not going to compromise my child’s safety, by refusing treatment (or at least prolonging the inevitable) because I want to stick to a plan. Birth plans? Total first world problem/privilege. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly. My baby was in real trouble (as was I) if I did not have the first class care that I received. Who cares what that care involved as long as everything turned out for the best? A child who was/is alive (even if he didn’t breathe for four agonising minutes). Healthy after a little special attention.

Childbirth might not feel like the magical miracle everyone dreams of (at least it isn’t for everyone), but the result is what matters. It’s really important to go in knowing what is the most important.

If you got out of it healthy (if not worn out and needing some stitches somewhere) and you got to hold your healthy baby, take him/her back to your hospital room for cuddles and bonding for the first few days of his/her life… YOU ARE LUCKY. Your birth went well.

The birth of the Little Mister was shocking, surprising, a blur and hard to wrap my head around later, but I do not regret it at all. It went the way it needed to go. I wouldn’t and couldn’t change it. It brought me the most amazing gift and we all survived! I feel like a much stronger, more resilient person for it. I am proud of the fact that I was able to accept what happened (it took some time but had more to do with the trauma of being separated from my baby – as an adoptee since birth this was difficult to accept – my little man had to experience an immediate separation from me – something I’d dreamed he’d be spared of ever experiencing) and I feel like anything that brings you your gorgeous baby alive and well (even days later) is a success. I refuse to think of it as anything else.

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My advice to mums to be is to accept that life brings no guarantees. Know stuff. Do the stuff you can do. Then let the universe (and your beautiful baby you are so excited to meet) take its course. Some things are just bigger than us. Our self esteem and our pride should have nothing to do with something we can’t really control. We should not feel ashamed if something turns out differently to how we hoped. We did our best and life had other plans. That’s OK.

Sometimes life might put us on a path that will teach us the most, if we’re willing to learn.

Did your birth/s go to plan? Did you have a plan?

For some women, a traumatic birth or a birth that did not go to plan can be a trigger for post natal depression. If you are struggling, please click here for some resources. 

All of the thoughts. All of the feelings.

Today I will mostly just let these pretty, wordy, image-y thingies that I found on the internet speak for themselves. Partly because I’m exhausted and partly because I want to leave it up to you guys to interpret these quotes (and apply them to your life) whichever way you want.

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Just think of how much energy we could save if we just focused on the new, positive way of doing something. It can be human nature to resist even positive (or inevitable and unavoidable) change, but sometimes embracing it can be a good thing for everyone.

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For me, this is about integrity. It’s the tougher times that really bring out your true colours. Stay true to your values no matter what. You can’t go around proclaiming heroic attitudes and beliefs, if you don’t actually put them into practice when it really matters. The every day.

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I don’t want to be a victim. I want to be a survivor. I want to know that despite the obstacles thrown at me, I can choose my own destiny.

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Duh.

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Do I want to protect my child from failure and icky feelings? Of course. But should I? Not always. I want to grow human beings who feel confidence in themselves (not waiting for mummy to dive in and rescue them or take over because she doesn’t believe in their abilities). I want them to know the world doesn’t revolve around them (by dropping everything for them at whatever cost at whatever time). I want them to be considerate, resilient and solve their own problems, giving them a very important sense of empowerment. I want them to be independent and make good decisions.

So that’s quite a mixed bag for this Friday.

What’s on your mind? 

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