Tag: 20SB

20SB Blog Swap: Lisa’s Summer Bucket List.

I just love when I get to “meet” new bloggers and I must say I’ve hit it off with Lisa of My Journey to Becoming Helen Mirren’s Biggest Fan. Not only did she take the effort to swap blogs with me for a day (see my post here), but she’s pretty funny and while you would think that anyone who dedicates a whole blog to open letters to Dame Helen Mirren might be a little…off…she seems quite normal – or at least weird in a good way ūüôā

Anyway, Lisa is funny and honest and I think I’m going to become a regular reader. That’s the cool thing about the 20 Something Bloggers Blog Swap (say that ten times fast – actually that would be a big waste of time but you get what I mean). 20SB is an awesome community to be a part of and I’ve enjoyed discovering bloggers from all around the world. It sounds a little nerdy but it’s so much fun (and totally cool).

Anyway, without further ado…Here’s LIIIIIISAAAAAAAAAAA (that was my best Oprah impression)…

 

It’s summer here on the west coast of the United States. ¬†I know this because I see girls wearing more¬†inappropriate¬†clothing than usual and sometimes on the weather report there are sunglasses on that picture of an ignorantly blissful sun. ¬†It’s about 15 degrees warmer here in Los Angeles than it was 6 months ago. ¬†It gets light earlier and dark later. ¬† I got through elementary school, so I’m pretty sure all this quacking means that it’s summertime duckling!

But other than my very keen observations while watching TV, I wouldn’t know what time of year it is. ¬†I’m here – at work. ¬†And I’m here at work every day, every month, from around ¬†9 to 7 (or 8… or… 11). ¬†My work schedule knows no season. ¬†My weekends are spent doing what I always do on weekends – ¬†running before the sun comes out, eating brunch al fresco, seeing poor re-makes of old movies I never saw the first time around, drinking rose on someone’s patio. ¬†And while it’s all fun, my social life knows no seasons. ¬†And because it seems like every day could be some random day April, time goes by so freaking quickly. ¬† There is no 3-month break after a 9-month marathon of homework and school dances that tells you that one phase of your life is over and it’s time to start the next. ¬†There’s no¬†mandate to stop on June 2nd – breathe – look around – and jump in a pool. ¬†I blame graduating school. ¬†I blame living in a city that is 75 degrees and sunny even when there are 2 feet of snow blocking my parents front door. ¬†I blame people who get spray tans in October and indoor pools and year-round reality shows that spit in the face of a¬†September through May TV schedule. ¬†But mainly I blame myself. ¬†I didn’t take advantage of this summer (or last summer, or the summer before). ¬†I didn’t plan any big vacations and I only went to the beach twice in the last couple months. ¬†I think I ate 2 hamburgers while standing outside that were made on a grill by some guy who looks more familiar in an apron than without. ¬†It’s a damn shame.
This isn’t a sad post, though. ¬†It’s just a reminder – SUMMER COMES ONCE A YEAR!!! ¬†Even if I’m in my late 20s and I have to drive to a¬†nondescript¬†building and type in a nondescript cubicle every day – IT’S STILL SUMMER!!! ¬†And I refuse to be unprepared (although I may do it awesomely) for celebrating summer. ¬†So here we go. ¬†It’s August 17th. ¬†I’ve got a little over a month left to grab the rising mercury by the horns and make this happen before the calendar says it’s too late.
So here’s my summer bucket list. ¬†God help me if I don’t get this all in before someone somewhere on the other side of the country puts a cardigan on.
1. Go to a theme park (I’ll even accept¬†one that people can die at).
2. Swim in the ocean for 15 minutes because it is refreshing (not because I had to pee and was too lazy to walk across the street).
3. Put together the firepit my roommate got us for Christmas and burn a fucking marshmallow – ON PURPOSE.
4. Drink dirty martinis outside while wearing a giant hat.
5. Fall in love… with a book that I will read in bed when it’s too hot to fall asleep (instead of using the time to watch Chelsea Lately and hate myself).
6. Ask someone to make me a hot dog and to burn it to a crisp but don’t toast the bun – and hold them too it.
7. Take a photo of my really tan feet.
8. Get a really great tan on my feet.
9. Buy aloe vera with a fierce certainty that I am going to have to use it.
Alright. ¬†I’m ready. ¬†I have 37 days to make it happen. ¬†Who’s with me?

Getting hitched: Does it change anything?

Pic: Her life would never be the same again – or would it?

Last weekend I was honoured to witness one of my best friends trying on the dress that she will be walking down the aisle in. Let me tell you, I am so excited for her it may as well be me ūüôā

A quick conversation came up in the carpark (where all dodgy business is discussed) about the changes that marriage brings. My friend’s grandmother suggested that it can be a massive lifestyle change, but the younger ones (my fellow bridesmaids) suggested that these days as a lot of people live with their partners before marriage, perhaps it doesn’t change anything at all. I realised that my (internal) answer was different to that of my friends. For me, marriage changed everything. I wondered why that was so. On the surface nothing seems different: I lived with my husband for about five years before we tied the knot. We saw each other at our worst moments and our best moments. We knew what it was to have a house, bills to pay and a pet to look after (the shared pet is almost like the first rite of passage as a long term couple – a sign of intended commitment). We had to negotiate issues with finances, household stuff, big life decisions and social lives – not always with initial success (it’s always a learning curve)!

We basically did everything before the wedding that we do every day now (only hopefully we’re a bit wiser and more mature these days), so it got me thinking. Why did it feel so different once that wedding ring was placed on my left hand that fateful day in 2007?

Aha! Turns out that as well as a strengthening in our love/bond that came with us both having made such a big, momentous commitment (and one we take seriously), a lot of the changes I felt were personal growth and sudden revelations about myself as an individual. Sounds funny, but getting married made me a more confident person who feels like she can stand on her own two feet (even though there’s this good dude who will be there for me by my side for life).

For some reason, being a Married Woman changed the way I identified myself (for the better). For me, growing up with such amazing role models for parents, being a Wife has symbolised strength in character, equality in relationships, confidence and conviction in your decisions and the ability to be strong, yet flexible, loving and compassionate. I suppose I feel the same about the role of a mother – for me, when I look at my mum that’s what I think of (awww).

Getting married meant that all of a sudden I was somebody’s wife! I was a grown up (holy crap). I changed my surname (the hubby wouldn’t change his last name to my last name – shame – it would have really sounded nice). I started being a Missus. I realised that if I was grown up enough to be somebody’s wife, a Missus who was taking care of things as an equal, then I should bloody well start acting like it! I needed to realise that it was time to step up to the plate and start having confidence in my decisions, confidence that who I presented myself as to the outside world was what I felt on the inside, and the belief in myself that who I am is enough to be taken seriously! I had spent a few young adult years feeling like a clueless idiot, not trusting my own opinions and not wanting to rock the boat. A new marriage may have been the catalyst, but I should have believed in myself all along. Hindsight is 20/20 is it not?

All of a sudden I felt like I could do anything: sell myself at a job interview (instead of feeling like a useless unqualified wallflower), buy a house (you know – talking to scary bank managers all by myself and signing Very Important Documents without much help), finish my degree at university (not just to scrape by but to really try hard) and not be afraid to take risks in life. I was finally making decisions because they were MY decisions – I was thinking things out for myself and not just going with the flow. I realised the strength as a person I had wanted to feel had been there all along – I had just forgotten about it.

I think that getting married was a wake up call. Getting hitched is a big decision that should be made by people who have some maturity…I felt duty bound to grow up and own my adulthood!

I guess I just started taking myself more seriously. They say you can’t expect others to do that for you until you do it for yourself. Wise words.

Perhaps some of my friends started out on stronger footing than me (with more confidence in themselves). Perhaps that is why they feel that marriage hasn’t changed anything.

We’re still not perfect people (no-one is) and we continue to grow and share new experiences – three and a half years into marriage we’re only getting started! Now that there is a little life on the way, I look forward to all the love, growth, changes and revelations that being parents will bring too ūüôā

Are you married? Did getting hitched change anything? Do you hope to get married one day? What are your expectations?

See what other 20 Something Bloggers have had to say on the issue – here ūüôā