Tag: 2015

Taking Stock: New Year’s Eve 2015

I’ve decided it’s time to take stock again (I seem to do it every couple of months). It’s been that funny time smack bang between Christmas and the New Year, where everything feels floaty and strange (but pretty nice and relaxed) and we keep forgetting what day of the week it is and we ask ourselves where we’re at and where we want to be going. It feels appropriate to record these moments, only hours before ringing in 2016.

Better jump in…

Making : A mental to-do list of things to pack for tonight’s picnic. We’re going to have a simple, low key celebration with friends near the beach.
Cooking : Mini quiches (pre-made because I do not have time for ‘from scratch’!). I’ve got all the other nibbles ready, but I figure it can’t hurt to flesh them out a bit with some ‘party’ food the Little Mister (and maybe our friends’ daughters) will like.
Drinking : Water mostly. I’ve been trying to increase my uptake lately. As for booze, I think I’ll mostly pass. After last weekend’s child free efforts, I am still in that whole “I never want to see a mojito again” phase. I know I don’t really mean it because hello, mojitos, but seriously – let’s just say I need a break haha.
Reading: More blogs. I’ve enjoyed being home a little more, having some more time and energy to spend on my laptop reading. In the past month I’ve either been too busy to sit still and just enjoy my favourite blogs or I’ve been too tired to do anything but Netflix and Coma (it’s totally a thing).
Wanting: 2016 to be kind to me. There’s one big dream I have and if it becomes a reality any time during the year, that will be more than enough to be grateful for. 2015 wasn’t kind in that area, nor 2014, so maybe 2016 will be our year.
Looking: Bloated. Thanks Christmas and PMS! Thanks a fucking bunch!
Playing: With the Little Mister has been fun the past few days. I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy it with him. I’ve secretly liked having him around more now that he’s on a break from day care before he starts kindy next February.
Deciding: What attitude to have today. A part of me wants to be all pissed off and sad about some stuff, but another part of me needs to rally and be positive and enjoy making memories for the Little Mister. Really, it’s a no brainer. Just gotta dig a little deeper.
Wishing: For the same things I’ve been wishing for the past year and a half.
Enjoying: The silence before the Little Mister gets out of bed.
Waiting: To finish this blog post because the Little Mister is getting out of bed haha

And I’m back!

Liking: The way the Little Mister has been playing so independently lately. It’s freed me up to get more stuff done, after he went through a long clingy phase whenever we were home (maybe due to wanting more time with me after spending half the week at day care/being an only child – which I always feel guilty about?)
Wondering: What the future holds. I know that’s vague, but it’s New Year’s Eve after all. So many possibilities ahead.
Loving: Early nights with Netflix (yes – I still love Netflix since the last time I mentioned it a few sentences ago). Perfect summer viewing when there’s nothing good on TV.
Pondering: The difference between ‘wondering’ and ‘pondering’?
Considering: The availability of toilet/bathroom access while we’re picnicking tonight. Not just for the Little Mister, but annoyingly for myself at ‘that time of the month’. Isn’t that stuff just so inconvenient to deal with? Ugh.
Buying: Some new bathers soon. I am excited because I got a voucher to a really nice store for Christmas. I’m looking forward to allowing myself to feel nice when I’m on the beach this summer. Just because my body isn’t what it was BC (Before Child) doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to enjoy shopping for nice swimwear and feeling some pride. It’s the one area I’ve not quite nailed when it comes to loving/accepting my body as it is.
Watching: ABC Kids. Well, the Little Mister is. Going to let him take it easy with a little more screen time today, so he has a bit more energy to stay up later tonight. 
Hoping: The Little Mister has enough staying power to watch the ‘family friendly’ NYE fireworks that are being put on at 9pm tonight. It’s a late night for him, so we’ll see!
Marvelling: At how life/the universe/powers to be have a weird plan for everybody. I think we can try to control our destiny as best we can and work to place ourselves where we feel we should be, but then it’s like the universe takes over and says, “Actually – this might not be what you want, but it’s what you need and the reasons won’t be clear until later.”
Cringing: Nope. Not cringing. Just resting bitch face.
Needing: To find the super cute diary I bought for 2016, which I’ve forgotten about until now!
Questioning: A couple of things. Ooh. Vague. Don’t you hate me?
Smelling: Nothing offensive. Which is always a relief haha.
Wearing: A green T-shirt dress that I hang about the house in. It will do until I get dressed for tonight.
Following: As many fun people on snapchat as possible. Add me! What’s your username? Mine’s kezunprepared 😉
Noticing: That since we got our new (second hand but good as new) couch, less crap accumulates under it. This is because it has higher legs than our old one and the Little Mister can reach his toys and shoes when they roll under there. Yay.
Knowing: I’m in this magical limbo time when nothing administrative matters for another few days. No ‘important’ things to remember, phone calls to make, quotes to get etc. It’s awesome!
Thinking: More like OVERthinking. Have you met me??
Admiring: How long I’ve been able to grow my nails. I thought that by now they’d have all broken.
Sorting: The Little Mister’s toys out. Very slowly and cautiously. We need to make room for his newer stuff and declutter, but he just loves EVERY SINGLE THING.
Getting: Older. Haha.
Bookmarking: Not much lately. Or at least nothing that comes to mind.
Coveting: Not much right now. I cleaned up nicely at Christmas and I am very grateful!
Disliking: Waiting.
Opening: My mouth. To drink some water.
Giggling: Not yet, but I am sure that the Little Mister will set me off later with his hilarious antics.
Feeling: Happy to bring in a new year. I’m ready. Bring it.
Snacking: Not as much as I could have at this time of year, thank goodness.
Helping: Always 😉
Hearing: The TV and the clattering of the Little Mister trying to ‘build’ something in his play room. Which makes me wonder why the TV is still on…

So that’s it. That’s where I’m at. For better and for worse. I’ve had a good year. The tough stuff really upset me at times, but the good stuff was great. Y’know? Like any year, 2015 has had its challenges but I’ve learned a lot and I’ve grown. Overall, I look back on the year and it’s been full of more good times than bad. That’s a win in my book.

I really hope that you have a wonderful 2016. You’re awesome x

Kez Gets Physical: How did 2015 shape up?

This year I started a series called ‘Kez Gets Physical’. Basically, the mission was/is to improve my physical and mental health, to document it to keep myself accountable, find inspiration (hopefully inspiring others who feel they can relate) and to find more of my tribe. There was no specific diet or weight loss plan or anything in particular that I was trying to sell or preach about. I just wanted to share my story and my own personal approach to improving my health. No judgement, no fear.

I feel like 2015 has been a fantastically big year when it comes to working on my physical and mental health. In fact, I’m pretty proud of the way in which I have tried to make it a priority in my life. I have learned so much about myself, from both the ups and downs of this – sorry but the cliché is coming – JOURNEY.

Here is my review of the year…

Things I achieved/learned

A stronger focus on self care

This year I gave myself permission to take the time I needed to look after my health. I had to fight the guilt at first. A lot. But eventually, it became an expectation I held for both myself and my family that I would be taking time out to exercise when I needed it. And guess what? Everybody was just fine (even if there were a few grumbles at times).

My overall mental health has improved

I still suffer from anxiety at times, but the severity and frequency seem to have decreased somewhat. I put this down to regular exercise and creating life habits that help me to cope better. I am not afraid to talk about it anymore. I recognise the warning signs. I know that sleeping well, unplugging from things that trigger me or make it worse, literally walking/running it off, and telling horrible thoughts to basically fuck off (i.e. giving myself a positive reality check when I have lost perspective and the negative self talk starts) is always a good strategy. I also know that when I am overwhelmed I can say ‘no’, I can turn to organising my life better, and I can ask for help. I have also discovered that some ‘off’ feelings just don’t need to be overanalysed. I just let them be and get on with things. A big deal for an over thinker like me.

It is not very often that I just sit alone, stewing in my anxiety and eating foods that make me feel like crap anymore (because that was so helpful in the past – not). That is definitely a big improvement. I do positive things now. I make action plans when I know I can feel it coming on. It can be as simple as telling someone (not carrying it all alone), having a rest day full of self care or it can be a hard fought battle where I work hard to attack it from all angles. Either way, I have learned that I can always do something positive about it. I hate the need to ‘fight’ but I know I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and knowing that I’ve managed to decrease the amount of time I have to spend fighting it is very reassuring.

My confidence grew and I got #InThePicture more

As I got fitter and stronger, I started to try harder to get in family photos. In fact, I demanded it! I wanted proof that I was having fun with my family and feeling good about myself. I stopped freaking out that I looked pregnant (when sadly that hasn’t been the case), with a bloated belly. I stopped fussing over my appearance as much. Knowing that I was exercising and doing fun things took the focus off the superficial and made me feel a confidence I hadn’t felt in a long time. I stopped being as embarrassed about taking selfies – there might be (a very first world) stigma but who else is gonna take it? I don’t have a very willing Instagram Husband haha.

I want memories recorded. I don’t want to hide anymore.

My body has changed

I have probably only lost about 2kg since the beginning of the year (with some fluctuations in between), but my body feels so different. I feel like I have a shape. I feel strong. I lost some fat from my lower back that I had begun to think would be there for the rest of my life (since having the Little Mister). I feel so much better in my clothes. I managed to fit back into some clothes I hadn’t fit in for a long time. The last time I weighed this much, I definitely did not look as toned or feel as strong. I feel really excited when I see the difference in photos or when someone in my life notices the difference. I have started to look for the good things when I face my mirror, instead of zooming in on the flaws. I never thought I’d feel like that, without being a stick figure first. I guess my mind has changed too!

I’ve made exercise a routine part of my life

I admit that prior to this year, exercise was just the thing I did to lose weight by a certain time or it was just a ‘phase’ I went through. This year, it has become a necessary and regular part of my life. It is the rule, not the exception. Of course I have rest days and setbacks, but that’s all they are. I miss exercise when I can’t do it. I know when I’m not feeling as good, that it’s something I need to do to maintain a healthy balance. I fit it in when I can. It is no longer a ‘luxury’ or a ‘quick fix’ phase. I am proud that I have been able to create this habit and maintain it.

Things I loved

Finding community

I have enjoyed each and every comment on my blog or Facebook page since I started ‘Kez Gets Physical’. I love knowing that some of you are reading and sharing your own experiences. I also joined the awesome Facebook group (founded by Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim) The Good Life Gang. I also have a couple of great friends on Twitter  and Snapchat – we chat back and forth about our exercise plans and habits. We keep ourselves accountable and we encourage each other. I also had fun making Fitbit friends and taking part in challenges. Sadly, my Fitbit has bitten the dust for now, but it still played a big part in my year. It’s so great to find people who are like minded. I love that no-one I have surrounded myself with is militant, trying to sell a product or obsessed about it. We just do what we can, when we can and it’s really inspiring and a safe place to be ourselves. Thanks to everyone who I’ve mentioned above 🙂

Learning to run/challenging myself 

I never thought I’d enjoy running. I mostly end up on my treadmill (time/weather/other factors), but it’s great. It’s like my form of mindfulness. I go into some kind of zen state on good days. It seems to have such a positive impact on my body. I use the C25K app and it’s perfect for me. I like that sense of knowing I’m improving bit by bit. I can measure my progress really easily.

Stuff to keep working on in 2016 and beyond

Nutrition/portion sizes

I have improved things overall (not pigging out at lunch time has been a big change), but I know that I am not always fuelling my body with what is best. I still have eyes that are bigger than my belly. I don’t always stop when I’m full. It’s a constant struggle for a food lover, but something I will have to keep working on.

Continued weight loss

I want to be at a healthier weight for me and I know I have about 6kg to go before I’m at least in the ball park. Obviously, the above point about nutrition/portion sizes is a big factor. I am so pleased with how my body has changed so far, but there is still a way to go. I want to feel lighter.

My progress with these issues has been verrrrry slow and steady. A part of me is glad about that because I feel like the long term habits I’m creating are going to stick – it’s not been a quick fix – but I think I’m now in a better position to step it up for an even better 2016.

Progress from August 2014 at my heaviest (the last time I had a photo taken of most of my body) to November 2015. I know there are several factors that make it not the best before and after/during example (type of clothing, lighting etc etc) but I know that the person on the right is so much happier. Note: Photo has been retouched really badly to protect the identities of others x
Progress from August 2014 at my heaviest (a photo that made me do that whole “OH MY GOODNESS – I NEED TO DO SOMETHING” freak out) to November 2015. I know there are several factors that make it not the best before and after during example (type of clothing, lighting, how close I am to the camera etc etc) but I am not really trying to convince anyone of my physical progress so I don’t mind. I just wanted to show you that the person on the right is so much happier and dresses herself to show who she is, instead of hiding in whatever fits like the girl on the left did. Note: Photo has been retouched really badly to protect the identities of others x

How did your 2015 shape up? 

2015 in review: The forgettable stuff.

Each year I like to write about the unremarkable stuff that happened during the year. Or the stuff that didn’t quite make the blog (which admittedly will be a lot of things because I don’t think I wrote as much as I could have this year). I figure everyone would know the best bits, the highlights, most of the stuff that was a BIG DEAL already. I usually wait until after Christmas, but right before New Year’s Eve to post this stuff, but I decided to jump the gun a bit this year.

So here’s the forgettable stuff that I have found, looking back through my paper diary and at my old social media posts…

Sounds riveting, doesn’t it? 

January

In January, I noticed that money was mysteriously appearing in our bank account. Money that could not be accounted for. It was turning up every month right at the time when Mr Unprepared usually got paid, so it was difficult to notice at first – we were very busy and in holiday budgeting mode (i.e. a little bit more relaxed than usual). I know, right? FREE MONEY. But nothing is ever free, and being the painfully honest person that I am, I was determined to find the rightful recipient. Also, I knew that if the mistake was ever noticed, the money could all be taken back out at once in a huge lump sum and we’d be broke and lose the house and never eat again (I might be exaggerating but you get the idea that it would be hugely inconvenient and would hurt). Several visits to the bank ensued. The money just kept on coming, though. These people really wanted me to be rich from doing nothing. I started to wonder who was so rich they didn’t notice these substantial (for us) payments weren’t coming in every month? If that was me, I’d be all like “Where the eff is my money? It’s been a month! I’ve got bills!”

I’ll never be a Kardashian.

Finally, after an email sent to a mysterious accounting/investment firm, all was solved and I no longer have to fantasise that I’m receiving illegal funds involved in some kind of elaborate underworld money laundering scam. I have quite the imagination when I’m stressed haha.

When I wasn’t at the bank, I was at the beach according to my Facebook photos, so I guess things were still pretty good!

February

Mr Unprepared sold his car on Gumtree. I thought I’d be soooooo hilarious and troll him with a message asking about the vehicle. Let’s just say it didn’t go quite as planned (as evidenced by my Facebook status at the time)…

So…if somebody trolls their significant other’s Gumtree ad with a message enquiring about their vehicle, adding “what’s your favourite colour and do you believe in unicorns?” to the generic message template provided by Gumtree, and then their significant other receives the message, has a little laugh and then accidentally hits the ‘report suspicious email’ link while scrolling with their sausage like thumb…what is going to happen to the somebody who trolled their husband? I mean significant other.
Just asking for a friend.

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t get banned from Gumtree and I even have my own account now. OOH LA LA. FANCY.

March

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We started painting the gutters. We still haven’t finished. Shut up – we’re getting to it hahaha.

April 

OK, so most of April was quite memorable. There was Easter with family and friends. I went to Sydney for my biggest trip away from the Little Mister so far (was only about 4 days but was quite a big deal for me so of course I was sick the whole time). I shopped up a storm and came home very pleased with myself (and needing a lot of sleep and medicine)!

Oh, and on the 4th I made a potato salad, apparently.

May

My parents went to New York without me.

I posted this on Facebook (and tagged them)…

HUMAN OF NO YORK:
“I remember the saddest moment in my life. It was when my parents went to New York without me. It’s been a tough road but I know that in time I will heal and use that experience to one day support and inspire other people who know what it’s like to not go to New York. I think forgiveness is very important. I wish them nothing but the best, even though my heart is broken.”

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FYI, I was really unimpressed with their lack of remorse or sympathy!!

Also, the Little Mister and I got new dressing gowns. Mine was leopard print with cat ears on the hood and the Little Mister’s was a Minions one. We wore them a lot together, much to the bemusement of Mr Unprepared.

June

This month I took the Little Mister to the movies for the very first time (since he was really tiny and tagged along to Mums and Bubs sessions). We also met up with a friend of mine who just loves excuses to see kids’ movies haha.

He was so cute. He was really good, and while he demanded snacks a lot, he sat still for most of the movie (Minions) and was in awe of what he was experiencing (with amusing facial expressions to match). I was obviously quite relieved.

It was around now that I really became quite hyper aware that I had a ‘big’ kid and not just a toddler anymore. Very bittersweet, but mostly sweet.

July

I made this out of Play-doh. I know. Talent. Pure talent. I am really going places.

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August

In August, I got stranded at the local shopping centre for hours. It all started when the Little Mister was having a hell of a growth/brain spurt. These spurts always make him quite difficult (he gets really scratchy and difficult for a week or two – so much fun), so I’d finally thrown my arms in the air and reached out to my parents to please please have him for a couple of hours so I could go out and get stuff done. I just knew he would never be able to handle it and I was getting tired. When my parents agreed to have him, I was so grateful I could have kissed their feet. No kidding. But I didn’t because that would be weird.

So, I set off, parked my car at the shopping centre. Nothing to see here. Went and completed my to do list. Got sick of the place (it doesn’t take long – trust me). I went to leave and something wasn’t right with my car (keep in mind I had an expensive flat tyre only a few months earlier – if that). I pulled up in another parking spot and inspected the tyres. Yep. One was flat as a pancake. I wasn’t going anywhere.

The tyre place (literally 100m away – not even kidding) wouldn’t send someone to help me, because of insurance issues, my parents were hours away (they were caught up) and I had gallantly stupidly turned down the help of a friend I’d run into, who offered to help. I could have done it myself, admittedly, but I’d parked awkwardly and tyres are heavy and I just wasn’t that desperate to look like an idiot (because while I know how to do it I know it wouldn’t come easily haha). I could wait.

Well. During that time, an alarm went off – WOO WOO WOO WOO and stuff started to shut down, while people wondered what the hell to do. After that was resolved, I spent quite a lot of time reading a magazine in the food court and I tried on clothes in every store. Shopping really was my cardio. I swear I did fifteen laps of the place.

I lived to tell the tale (and have never been more grateful that the Little Mister wasn’t with me), but I am now paranoid about my tyres. Like dead set PARANOID.

And I still hate that shopping centre (always have).

*shudders*

September

My parents were away for Dad’s work, so I had offered (i.e. had no choice haha) to check on things while they were gone. I work there too, so it wasn’t a big deal. Let’s just say that there was a really dead frog in the skimmer box of their pool and I had to touch it and it was really really gross and I can’t even begin to tell you. Ugh. Alive frogs I can touch. Because alive. Slimy dead frogs that are still submerged – HELL NO.

October

I had an appointment to see a haematologist. I got to sit in the waiting room for a long time and listen to the other people. There was the old married guy with the dodgy knee who was flirting with the old married (to somebody else) lady who had something else wrong with her. He bragged about his lawn bowls skills. Then there was another old person texting somebody on their phone, with the key tones on – the ones that make that bloop bloop bloop sound really loudly every time they type a letter. I read a scintillating article about people who only create a mason jar’s worth of household waste in a whole year and thought FUCK THAT (which I am aware makes me a very bad person who is helping to wreck the planet).

November

My mum and I went shopping together (minus a child) for the first time in ages. It was great. We ticked things off my to-do list, but more importantly, we had corn chips and guacamole for lunch.

December

Well, the month is far from over, so I might leave it open ended. I am sure that many forgettable things will happen before the beginning of 2016!

If you made it through this post, then you are the most patient person and I applaud you for your strength of character – bonus points if you’re still awake!

How has your 2015 been? x

When you’re in your PJs by midday. Winning.

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Have you ever had a sudden revelation that changes your life forever?

*smug face*

I have. I had a revelation late last night. I’d turned everything off, was ready to go to bed and then I remembered my earlier intention to buy some cheap hoodies online, so I don’t have to wash the same two over and over to the point of ridiculous. Out came the laptop and I managed to grab a couple that were on sale. While this was going to make my life easier (and comfier), this was not the revelation. The revelation came when the website told me that if I just spent $20 more I would get free postage. Everyone loves free postage, right?

So I thought I’d have a look at some PJs. I had been wearing the same long sleeved nightie to death, because it was the only thing I felt comfy in. I have winter PJs but the pants kept annoying me. They were a bit loose so when I was sleeping, they bunched up at my knees or into my crotch (TMI?). I’d resorted to my trusty nightie, but my legs did get a bit cold and Mr Unprepared isn’t always stoked when I use his legs to warm mine at night (“Get off! Your feet are FREEZING!”). I admit I do it on purpose just for a bit of a shit stir sometimes – never gets old. For me, anyhow.

I did see a lot of ‘loungewear’ that confused me. Are they clothes specifically for lounging about in? Can you wear them in public? How does it work? What is ‘loungewear’? It kind of seems like when pyjamas and real clothes have a baby and they name it loungewear. Does anyone ever wear it? Tell me how/where/when, please. It seems kind of like a fancy thing to do.

Anyhow, back to the pyjama situation. I saw these PJ pants that spoke to me. I must point out that while they are an absolute revelation to me, they are not at all a new concept. They’re basically long johns (but not thermal – not the ones I bought anyway). Leggings that you wear to bed, if you want to nitpick. They’re made in the softest fabric, they stretch with you and because they are very fitted, they don’t ride up. They’re kind of like the bottom half of a good pair of onesies. Without the butt flap.

Only the day before, I had got into my bed in a fit of wishful thinking (I have a kid and it was not night time yet). I thought, “I wish I could wear leggings to bed”. And then I got straight out of my bed, because I have a kid and I didn’t want to make my leggings all fluffy and gross.

So you can imagine my excitement when I realised that all my life I had failed to realise the existence of these amazing pyjama pants.

Earth shattering, I know. You’re shocked too, and not at all rolling your eyes at how late I am to this glorious soft panted party, right?

So I ordered them. And then today I found some in Big W and I bought them, because they were cheap and colourful and I couldn’t wait any longer.

I got home and all I wanted to do was put them on and swan about my house in them for the rest of the day. I waited until I’d done all of my ‘need to go out the front of the house’ tasks, and then I could not resist for even a moment longer. So basically, this all happened before 1pm. The Little Mister thinks I’m bonkers, but DAMN I’m comfy.

My excuse was, that it’s Friday. Magical things happen on Friday. Friday is a beautiful unicorn riding on a rainbow.

But I later found out that there was actually an even better excuse! Today is National Pyjama Day! How’s that for the best ever accidental coincidence?

I decided that I couldn’t know that this wonderful day was happening without donating a little something to help the effort to raise awareness and funds for foster kids (through the Pyjama Foundation).

If you’d like to have the best excuse ever to chuck on your PJs in the middle of the day too, then just do it! You can donate here if you like 🙂

Happy Friday!

Are you wearing your PJs too? Do you have any silly Friday traditions? What are your pyjama preferences?