Let’s get the obligatory rash update out of the way, shall we? At the beginning of my 26th week of pregnancy, I felt pretty good. The rash was still there of course, but it was getting to a point where I could use less ointment & that was nice. Not being as greasy/itchy was a wonderful feeling! Of course, that was not to last! I then ended the week with some of the worst rash days/nights I’d had. Itchy all over, little welts everywhere. I don’t know if it was the hot/humid weather or what, but it was intense. I was learning that mid week is my worst time, generally. That’s when my therapeutic baths have become impossible, due to my routine with school runs and having the Little Mister etc. It’s the furthest point from any weekend where I can take it a little easier in the mornings or get a little more help from Mr Unprepared to rest/bathe etc. I recognise that I probably need a strategy for dealing with this time. I have no idea what to do yet, but I’ll figure it out before this baby arrives, I hope haha.
Some good stuff happened this week. After a bit of a dry spell, socially, I was able to get out and see some girlfriends. I was off to an evening screening of Bad Moms 2. It was awesome. It took a fair while to get ready – I had to bathe in Pinetarsol (pine tar bath oil), then apply steroid cream, then get dressed when it was dry. But it was worth it. I felt like a human. I even felt pretty in my stock standard Target maternity dress, with a nice kimono. You have no idea how long it had been since I had felt pretty. It was so great to wear clothing that was NORMAL. Not weird muu muu situations I’d had to survive in during the heat of the day. I think that evening outings could be a very nice bit of relief for me in coming weeks, provided I have the energy. Of course, it was wonderful to see my friends and feel like a part of society. The movie was funny as predicted, also! I was even home before my usual bed time. Big wins all around.
This week my mum came back to WA after being away for a few weeks. It was so great. We’d spent a lot of time on the phone, but having her home was just the biggest relief. My mum even brought a gift, from her and Dad, back with her. A stunning dress for an upcoming party that she’d searched high and low for. Something that covers the marks my rash has given me. I tried it on and it was perfect. It was the icing on the cake. It means a lot to me. Having that extra little bit of physical support has been immensely helpful too. I am so grateful.
This week I had to have my glucose tolerance test (GTT) to determine whether I have gestational diabetes or not. I had prepared myself mentally and physically in the weeks leading up, by improving my eating habits. I wasn’t perfect (why should I be – I hadn’t been diagnosed with anything yet) but I was much more in line with the good habits a gestational diabetic person should be undertaking. I wanted any adjustments to my diet to not be a horrible shock like they were the first time I was pregnant (with the Little Mister)if I was diagnosed. I wanted to also help myself towards having a successful test (i.e. a negative result). Of course, the night before I had 2-3 hours sleep and I had been stressed too. Not a great start. Also, I felt like having to drink the whole bottle of glucose solution seemed unfair as I am possibly much smaller than a lot of people who have to undertake the test. So of course, I was a bit upset when I received the call that I have gestational diabetes for a second time. AGAIN, on the borderline. That fucking borderline, I tell you!!! It just feels unlucky! I cried on the phone for a minute – the midwife who had to break the bad news to me was so lovely. But then I just had to suck it up. I would have to wait until I spoke to the diabetes educator lady the next week. She told me that until I had that meeting and commenced testing my blood sugar daily, that I should just live my life as usual.
In all honesty, the diagnosis felt like nothing compared to the rash I’ve had. Changing my diet has nothing on feeling uncomfortable and unbearably itchy. I’m going to hate being bossed around (even if it’s done nicely) and I’m going to resent the strict testing (not to mention having to prick my fingers like 4 times a day), but still – if I had a choice, I’d take diabetes OVER the rash any day. If only I had the choice!!! It is pretty mind-blowing that this pregnancy is so much like my first.
This week, the Little Mister turned 6. It was really important to me that we celebrated it as a little family. It was the last time we would do that as a family of three. I was so proud of my little guy for growing up so much. Mr Unprepared and I were parent helpers in his classroom for the morning and in the afternoon it was gifts, tacos and cake. He was so grateful for everything and I knew when I tucked him into bed that he had thoroughly enjoyed his day. Not too long ago, the thought of my son turning 6 before he had a sibling devastated me, but today it makes me so happy. He’s going to be an amazing big brother and I can see the advantages of having a slightly larger age gap than anticipated. This was how it was meant to happen. That doesn’t mean the struggles haven’t been worse than anything I’ve gone through, but I am grateful that I can see the positives and that our dreams will be realised, even if we had to adjust them a lot.
I am a better, stronger, more resilient person for it.
