just some thoughts milestones

Reflection on the year that was.

10888588_10152675590838218_2890491116653830366_n

I want 2015 to be as peaceful as this photo makes me feel x

Look, I am a total New Year nerd. As much as I work on self improvement and celebrating moments all year round, I just cannot resist the allure of December turning into January. I get to use a new diary (whatever’s the cutest at Typo – yay) and everything feels like a fresh start. When I discovered these questions over at Maxabella Loves (and some great answers from Kelly over at A Life Less Frantic) I couldn’t resist. The perfect way to spend a little quiet time (lucky me) on a NYE morning.

Here goes!

1. What word do you think best summed up 2014?

Brave. It probably wasn’t very outwardly noticeable to others, but for me it was a big theme. I started to speak up in small ways and to become more assertive. I learnt to be brave enough to say ‘no’ and brave enough to say ‘yes’. I became braver in sharing more of myself and my life on my blog. I stopped censoring so much. I did things that had scared me all my life and I triumphed. I think perhaps this explains my obsession with Sara Bareille’s song which is obviously called Brave.

2. What did you do for the first time this year?

I visited the place I was born. I had so many unresolved feelings about being adopted. Feelings I probably didn’t even fully realise were unresolved until I got there. Stuff that made me sad. Stuff about my decision to not search for biological parents. Stuff that weighed on me. Which brings me to the next question…

3. What is one thing that happened that will have lasting consequences?

Being in Busan, South Korea (where I was born) was HUGE. I finally know what the people of my birth country are like. I know so much more about their customs, their food, their way of living. I also know about the language barriers. The cultural differences between Korea and Australia – as well as some similarities. I see a little of what could have been and I am glad for what has been. Korea is no longer some weird mythical far away place I have to put on every form ever (which still pisses me off haha). I realise more fully that my identity is MINE. It is not defined by where I was born or where I’ve grown up – that is just a part of it. I am ME from wherever I am from and I am OK with that 🙂 This has brought me so much peace (after 30 years). I cannot begin to tell you. HUGE.

4. Was there anything you wish you’d done differently? Why? How?

I wish I had been less affected by the drama of other people. I wish I had been able to practice maintaining my own inner peace. While I am a very compassionate person, some things just shouldn’t be my battle.

5. Do you have a favourite moment from the year? What made it special?

Oh. So. Many. A vast collection of moments that showed me how much I love the Little Mister – any time my heart burst. No better feeling. While there were many mixed feelings about visiting Korea, I am SO glad we went there (and Japan and Singapore). I am glad we travelled. I am glad we had those experiences. Once in a lifetime stuff. A big highlight of the year. Sorry to keep bringing it up haha.

6. What lessons has 2014 taught you about yourself? About others?

I’ve learnt that I am inspired easily. If I have a tough time, I have the drive and determination to turn it around. I rarely just sit there and give up or wallow. I see obstacles and mentally challenging times as a call to action. I realise now that this is a strength of mine, whereas I think I always took this attitude for granted. I’ve learnt that there are people in this world who are ‘dumpers’ and ‘drainers’ and that it’s entirely up to me how I choose to react (or not react) to such treatment. Take it personally or realise that person is being an a**hole and move on? I think I know what I’d rather do. It’s a work in progress!!

7. How will the lessons from this past year change the way you approach the new year?

I just want to keep building on my personal strength and courage that I have found in the last year or two. I want to be less ruffled by things that do not matter. I want to beat my anxiety.

8. What do you most want to do in 2015?

Keep blogging, have a happy healthy family, watch the Little Mister grow. Chase whatever wonderful opportunities come my way. I love that I don’t know what those are yet. I want to say yes more but I want to say no more. It’s all about getting them in the right balance 🙂

9. What do you most want to change about yourself? The world?

*best beauty pageant voice* I want peace. Peace for the world. More compassion. I want for us to all become less self absorbed and more mindful of others. What we do/say/write affects other people. While we shouldn’t worry too much about what others might think of us when we make the best decisions for ourselves, we should be considerate and kind. A lot more considerate. Remember our manners. There’s a difference between being honest and being an a**hole about it.

10. What one word do you hope will sum up what you hope to achieve in 2015?

You could probably sense this, but my key word will be ‘peace’. Peace in my mind, peace in my family, peace in my community, peace in the world.

PEACE OUT.

OMG ‘peace’ is a weird looking word. I think I have officially typed it too many times – ever have that happen? Haha.

If you want to answer these questions too, please let me know where i can find them – or you can leave your answers in the comments 🙂 I don’t care if they’re super long x

Share
  • Love your answers Kez. What a year! I can only imagine the emotions around visiting Korea.

    And when you say this “I want to say yes more but I want to say no more.” I know EXACTLY what you mean 🙂

    • I knew you would understand that one! 🙂 Happy new year to you and your family, Kelly x

  • Wow! Did you ever have a huge year, Kez. Brave is such an inspiring way to live and you’ve found your courage in places must people forget to look. Cheers to continuing to find your peace throughout the new year. I wish you so much joy. x

    • Thank you so much for those questions 🙂 Wishing you joy in 2015 too x

  • Alana

    Wishing you lots of peace in 2015 Kez. That image is gorgeously peaceful. And yes I’ve written my word (Play) so many times now it is starting to look a little ridiculous.

  • Happy New Year!

    I like your reflections, and your year has totally been a big one! I think visiting your birthplace is life changing, and I’m so happy for you that it was a positive event.

    I totally agree on number 4, I soak up way too much of other people’s drama and I really need to let it wash off me.

    Bring on a happy and exciting 2015! x

  • *popped over from Maxabella Loves ‘One Word’ link-up*

    Great word for 2015. 🙂

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog. Just had a little explore and will continue following. I really enjoyed catching a glimpse of some of your insights about being adopted. My husband was adopted from birth and it’s something that makes me endlessly curious. He was an ‘Australian’ adoption (born in Sydney) so the questions about language and culture aren’t there as such but with slightly olive/dusky skin and lovely dark hair we’re always curious about who his bio parents might have been and their cultural/ethnic backgrounds.

    • Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate your comment 🙂

  • LOVED reading your responses Kez, and I am so with you in that I wish other people’s dramas didnt effect me so… but… HERE’S to peace in every available form. An excellent choice of word to take into a fresh new year hun, and I hope that word treats you well xx

  • thelilawolff

    What a beautiful reflection Kez, I hope 2015 is a peaceful year for you and the world x