just some thoughts Parenting

“Is your baby a girl or a boy?”

I’m a bit of a jerk. I have a 10 and a bit weeks old baby girl and she doesn’t really wear much pink. Yep. Jerk. I’m a jerk because this means that nobody can tell what gender to assign to her when I’m out and about! Obviously, those who are quite close to us cannot help but know (I might be a bit of a baby spammer on my private social media – oops), but lovely people who are just wanting to admire a cute baby who they’ve crossed paths with have no idea a lot of the time!

I mean, most babies look a bit like grumpy little old men at some point, am I right? Mine just looks like a cheeky little punk, with her full head of dark hair that sticks up.

It’s not that I am anti-pink. I just like it in the same normal doses as any other colour combination. I don’t go nuts on it because in all honesty, it’s not my favourite colour and I get to be the boss when it comes to little-adorable-baby-sized-clothes buying. For as long as I can get away with it, anyhow! If something looks cute to me and I think it will suit the Little Miss, I’ll buy it. Regardless of colour.

If right now you are freaking out because you gifted us some pink stuff, please don’t! It’s gorgeous stuff and it looks beautiful on her! It’s just not ALL she wears!

I tend to gravitate towards edgy black and white designs (OMG there is so much amazing stuff out there these days), greens, blues and generally unisex type stuff. I’d bother putting a bow on the Little Miss’ head if I wasn’t worried about her being strangled by a headband or just generally hating it!

I was never a truly “girly” girl and I guess that’s followed me into adulthood! I’m not huge on gender stereotypes, either. I’m sure I subconsciously subscribe to some of them, but generally, I am happy to be the feminist I am today.

It’s always amusing to me how we always really want to know whether a baby is a boy or a girl (even if we don’t know the parents). I guess it’s just human nature to always be trying to categorise people and things.

I am more likely to get pissed off if someone questions the racial mix of my child. I was once asked WHAT the Little Mister’s dad is. Like he was a breed of dog or something. WTF.

I absolutely don’t mind people asking me if my child is a boy or a girl. I am never offended if someone mistakes her for a boy. If it’s a stranger who I will never see again, I don’t bother to correct them! What does it really matter? It’s somebody else’s mistake and not my problem! I save them the awkward moment and I don’t have to waste my breath!

I once heard about a friend who was snapped at by an old lady because she hadn’t dressed her baby in pink, so it was obviously her fault that a mistake was made. What. The. Hell.

I have also heard about women who are so freaked out at the thought that their darling baby girl might be mistaken for a boy, that they deck her out in pink overload everywhere they go. The thought of their baby being seen as ‘masculine’ and not ‘pretty’ is anxiety inducing for them! Like I said, don’t sweat it, they all look like little old men. Who cares!

I don’t think it’s a parent’s responsibility to make sure their baby is never mistaken for the opposite sex. It’s the person who asks the question (or fails to) that the onus is on! That’s why I’m never worried about answering the question or about someone getting it wrong. It’s more embarrassing for them than it is for me! I’m proud that my baby is just a baby, wearing cute clothes that I picked out for the day! I like that if someone asks the question, “Is your baby a boy or a girl?” my answer might surprise them. Like the time I had my baby in a green onesie that said “coolest kid ever” on it. Because girls can wear a certain shade of green and be cool too – didn’t you know? Also, that onesie was on sale and she slept in it and I was in a rush that morning haha. Maybe eventually people might stop using colours as a way to identify sex or gender if enough of us parents are shameless about just dressing our babies in whatever the hell we/they like!

If you are worried about getting it wrong, just say, “God damn that’s a cute BABY!”

Problem solved!

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