It’s that time of the week again! I am sitting in bed with my laptop, trying to ignore the fact that I had a shitty night’s sleep, despite it being my first chance in ages to sleep in. I’m feeling kind of mellow. Right in this moment, I’m a good kind of tired. Like the dust has settled on the previous week. Ask me again in a few hours when I’m feeling hangry and I am reminded of the mess in my house, but for now I just feel calm.
I feel like saying that it’s been a big week. But it’s always a big week in real life, is it not? Maybe I’ll just let you know when it isn’t.
Anyway, here’s my favourite part. The part where I look back on the week and remember the happy moments:
I smashed a lot of exercise goals
I ran. I kept up with my fitbit step count. I was surprisingly competitive. I started to feel my hips again. OK, so there’s still some pretty good *ahem* insulation on them bones, but I think I’m getting some shape back in that area and they feel slightly different to me. It’s very subtle (seriously don’t bother looking haha), but it’s encouraging nonetheless.
I let myself be emotionally vulnerable and nobody left me hanging
I am always the person who wants to help others with their feelings and their tough times. Despite being a pretty open person on the surface of things, I can be surprisingly guarded about my deepest feelings and experiences. It’s my armour. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and while I’d move heaven and earth to show someone that I’m listening and that I care, I just don’t know how to be that person who needs someone to listen and to care (outside of my family who are so awesome of course). I had a real roller coaster of emotions this past week. I’ve had a lot to process. I finally learned that I need to learn to reach out to people (instead of holding things in or playing things down) and the support and love that came back frightened and embarrassed me at first. I didn’t know what to do with it. I had this weird expectation that if I let myself open up and ask for support that people would turn away. It’s irrational (because I know a lot of awesome people) but let’s file that under ‘Kez’s Weird Fears’. When it didn’t come true (thank goodness), I was overwhelmed. I am so appreciative of those who have shown me that they care and that they understand and that they’re not going anywhere. I might have cried a few ugly, but grateful tears. I’m definitely being forced to grow as a person.
I know this is a little cryptic (how annoying!), but I’m OK – really. It’s just some real life stuff. We all have our own stuff. I hope someone cares about your stuff <3
I brought home some stuff for my lady cave!
I was so excited when I found the little filing cabinets I wanted online! I picked them up this week and while I have no idea where I’m going to put them just yet (oh the clutter!), I am glad to be making progress. It can be hard to put aside time to get projects done around the house, but I’m feeling encouraged by these recent developments!
Oh and I also pulled apart some very old desktop computer towers after raiding Mr Unprepared’s screwdriver collection and looking at a YouTube video. Very proud haha.
When Mr Unprepared made dinner
I don’t know exactly how it happened but over time (since the Little Mister came along), I became the only dinner cook in our household (probably my fault at first – I used to use cooking dinner as my ‘me time’ where I could kick everyone else out of the kitchen after a long day haha). Recently, we realised this when I got sick and I felt too gross to do much by the time I’d survived the day. I had to call in some help! Mr Unprepared has started to find his own meal ideas and cook a couple of nights a week again. It’s so great.
I like the Little Mister seeing both of us in the kitchen – role modelling win.
On Friday night, it was fajitas cooked on the barbecue and I was in heaven. There were barbecued corn cobs and everything (my absolute fave)! Also, I can’t believe Mr Unprepared makes such pretty dinners. Totally Instagrammable haha. Pity I’m not a great photographer (see blurred evidence below), but you win some, you lose some!
I think he’s unwittingly started a Friday Night Fajita tradition. It’s so nice to sit outside and enjoy our patio too. What a taste of summer.
All the kids played so well together while the adults got together to watch the game. I was so impressed. I know it’s totally normal and kids his age are all doing it, but I just still get so much pleasure out of seeing them at an age where they play with each other and not just alongside each other. It’s very cute and when they’re all being pretty well behaved and keeping their squabbles to a minimum it’s such a joy! It also makes them super low maintenance haha.
Our team lost, but the day itself was a big win. Great company and a relaxed atmosphere. Wonderful.
Other stuff that has made me happy…
- XOXO Gossip Girl haha. I’m up to season 2 now!
- This morning’s time to myself.
- The moment you wake up and realise that scary dream was just a dream.
- Having Mr Unprepared around a lot more since he finished his big charity bike ride.
- That one time I chose not to reach for the comfort food. It’s a start haha.
- Reading Disney stories with the Little Mister at night. I don’t always love doing bedtime stories (as bad as that makes me feel), but lately I think it has been good for the soul to cherish that quality time.
What has made you happy this week? Do you have trouble opening up to friends too? Got anything nice planned for the week coming?