getting silly pregnancy updates

Reporting from a fresh produce aisle near you.

"Don't eat me, Mummy!"

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I don’t know why, but one day some time in the past some lady, man or lady man decided that the perfect way to describe a growing foetus would be to compare the size or weight of all future human babies with fruit and vege.

I personally have found it quite odd. Is there anyone else out there who questions this? Or am I just an annoying question asking punk? Perhaps it’s all designed to make us pregnant ladies (and our unlucky partners, friends and relatives) feel like it must be something healthy and nutritious(?) we’re cooking away in our biological ovens. You know, it’s all so pure and organic and naaaaturrrraaaaalll, darling.

I have never read in a pregnancy book that my baby is the weight of a sponge cake from Woolworths. Or that he is the size of a large serving of hot chips. Or that he is the length of a hotdog bun.

See, that’s something I could relate to.

This week (entering the 28th), my baby is supposed to be the weight of a cauliflower. Which is about 2 pounds (roughly 1kg for those who don’t use American iPhone apps to track their pregnancies). I just hope he doesn’t look like a cauliflower. I also hope this doesn’t affect the way I feel about him. I don’t want to be mean, but I kind of prefer broccoli better. Although, they say that he’s covered in some kind of grease that looks like cheese right now so that’s kind of yummy (actually it’s supposed to be gross).

Each week is a wonderful surprise as I learn about new fruits and vegetables. Before being pregnant I had never heard of a spaghetti squash or a rutabaga. It’s all very educational, being up the duff.

I’m just nervous about the point where they start describing the foetus in terms of “watermelons” or “award winning giant freak pumpkins that you read about in country newspapers”…

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