Dammit. I know straitjacket is not spelt ‘straight jacket’, but I am willing to compromise my spelling/grammar principles when I’m this effing freezing.
Look, I’m gonna admit it. There’s really no point to this post. Except that I’m cold. My toes feel like they’re going to fall off and my arms are bone chillingly icy under my flimsy cardigan. However, I’m too comfy (other than the cold) to move. The Little Mister is napping away peacefully and my legs/laptop/recline are all in perfect positioning. I used to be a hater of Snuggies. I saw those things and judged everyone who sold one, bought one or was given one as a gift. I snorted at the Snuggie rip offs that landed in the discount stores. I shunned those who admitted to wanting them.
Today I want a Snuggie. Seriously. If one landed on my doorstep today, I would not burn it. I would wear it. While sitting on the couch watching TV. Like the smiling goobers in the home shopping ads. Who wants a blanket anyway? BLANKETS DON’T HAVE ARM HOLES.
Except I would want a super deluxe, quilted version. So it felt like I was wearing a comfy doona. WITH ARM HOLES. I could do a lot of blogging with one of those babies on. Do they even sell these or have I invented a magical, mythical mutation of a Snuggie in my own brain??
Also, there needs to be a couple’s Snuggie. Like one big one joined together. It would still have four arm holes, but they’d be perfectly spaced so you didn’t have to tug at the other person in annoyance because they’re not sharing the giant couple’s snuggie enough. Everyone would have to be perfectly warm and comfy in a couple’s snuggie. Although, it could be tiresome if you got to the optimum level of comfiness and then your partner got up to go get a drink or go to the toilet or something. Maybe you’d have to make up couple’s Snuggie rules, like once you’re in, you must stay in until both parties respectfully agree to depart from the Snuggie. Together. Do these exist????? DO THEY????
A BIG QUILTED COUPLE’S SNUGGIE – MAKE IT HAPPEN. BRING IT TO ME.
OR…what if you made a poncho style, comfy, quilted Snuggie??? Then your back can be SO WARM as well! You could walk around in it when you needed to get something and still be warm. But there’d have to be built in sleeves somewhere because MY ARMS ARE COLD RIGHT NOW AND IT’S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.
Don’t worry, though. I wouldn’t wear it to the shops or nothin’.
Did I mention that I’m feeling cold?
And no. I was not paid or sponsored to do this post about Snuggies. Which is quite evident because I DON’T HAVE ONE.