Wanna hear something scary? I only just realised that my baby is due NEXT MONTH. It’s different when you say 6 weeks – it sounds further away. But NEXT MONTH seems so immediate! Also, I’ve come to the very shocking realisation that I may never sleep again.
I spend my nights turning (very slowly and gingerly) from side to side like some kind of broken baby rotisserie (I hope he still cooks evenly haha). I have a spare pillow to support The Bump which has to move with me each time, making each turn very time consuming. I dream of having two pillows – one on each side – to save time and energy but I fear that my husband would fall out of the bed (actually no matter how much I love him that doesn’t sound so bad at this point – that’s how crazy I’m getting)!
Last night I even caught myself pushing my husband in the face, just smushing his nose a bit with my hand, because he got too close and I couldn’t roll over to my left side properly. He never said a word, the beautiful man.
I can no longer sleep on my back – the snoring wakes me up. Also, I can’t sleep on my stomach (for obvious reasons like the fact that it is now the size and shape of a large basketball). So, it’s all sides for me. My hips ache if I stay on one side for too long and my pelvis aches when I do have to shift my weight. Getting up to go to the toilet is like an episode of that show Monster Moves. Or the movie Frankenstein. In fact, perhaps I’m more like a zombie. Slow moving and slightly brain dead.
I am SO sexy right now.
On the bright side, I could power nap any of you under the table. Seriously, probably under a table would do just fine. I’d just need help getting up afterwards. It’s like the most blissful mini coma ever when you just close your eyes in the middle of the day and let go. Aah, ZzzZzzzZzz…
Oops, where was I?
Yes, power naps. I’m allowed to have them. It helps to kill time when no-one will let you do anything anymore.
“Don’t lift that!”
“Don’t bend down!”
“Sit down! NOW! Not in that chair, the comfy one!”
People actually laugh at me when I offer to help with something. Soon I don’t think anyone will even allow me to drive. My bump almost touches the steering wheel. I say, just let the bump learn how to drive 17 years early. Can’t ever be too prepared in life. If he can reach the steering wheel already, why not?
You would think all this pampering would be really nice (well it is sometimes), but it gets a bit boring! I suppose I should do what people say and milk it for all it’s worth. Soon I’ll be so busy that my head will spin off and the world as I know it will forever be different. WHOA. Blowing. My. Mind.
What life changing experiences have you been through lately?