Do any particular things give you the creeps? For some people it’s clowns, for others it’s the fear that if you accidentally drive/park over a snake, it might wrap itself around the undercarriage of your car and kill you later at another location. You know, standard stuff. Seriously, the snake thing. The fear is real. Oh, that just freaks me out? Never mind…
But you get the kinds of things I’m talking about. Some are more rational than others.
Here are three things that have creeped me out recently (I’ll count them down from least creepy to most creepy like one of those horrible TV shows that count down things like the Top 20 Celebrity Meltdowns and other such topics)…
3. When there is a spider in your car and then you lose it.
No joke. I had just been listening to a person calling into my fave radio station about having a major freak out because a spider appeared on her sun visor, and then it happened to me. Sure, it was a fairly small spider, but it was the kind that looked kind of meaty and threatening anyhow. Like it was one day going to grow into a bigger spider and what if it had an army of baby spiders I couldn’t see? So I tried to play it cool, grabbed a tissue (while totally concentrating on the road), went to squish it, and it did that thing. You know the thing. Where it gets scared and lets out a bit of web and starts swinging all over the place, so you freak out and throw your tissue away and the spider disappears and you have no idea where it is.
2. When you catch your husband looking at ‘realistic’ baby dolls on Gumtree and it seems hilarious at the time but you know you’re going to have nightmares later.
Yes. It happened. I threw a few images and videos onto my snapchat that night and let me tell you, some of those dolls were just creepy. Creepier than Chucky. I swear. One little boy baby doll was staring into my soul. OMG.
Anyway, here’s one of the funnier ones. Complete with me giggling like an idiot.
Yep. A baby gorilla/monkey/some kind of primate which I am shit at identifying, doll, dressed like a human baby. I think its eyes were saying, “Heeelp me. Heeeeelp me”.
Anyhow, once all the laughs were done with, I went to bed. And had nightmares about rooms full of creepy dolls.
I mean, I’m happy for you if fake doll babies float your boat or bring you comfort (I’ve seen the documentaries), but I am certainly (obviously) not one of those people!!!
1. Men with ‘Yellow Fever’ (especially the ones who know where you live).
Yes. This list escalated quickly.
The first incident was a while ago. Mr Unprepared organised for a tradesman to come around and give us a quote on the exterior of the house (I won’t say what the job was as I feel a stupid, twisted need to protect HIS identity). He came along and looked at the wall. And looked at me. And spoke down to me.
Then after he’d finished giving the quote, he insisted on coming into the house and sitting on the couch to show me images of his other work on his tablet because the light outside was ‘too bright’. As our couch is right inside the front door and my phone was in my hand, I let him. Even though it was fucking odd and inappropriate and I should have said no (I am totally the kind of girl who would get murdered for being polite – must work on this).
He opened his images on his iPad and a lot of them were of young (i.e. much much younger than him) women from Asia – if I’d hazard a guess I’d say Thailand or even the Phillipines. He scrolled through all of them to get to pictures of his work. By then I was super creeped out (as a youngish Korean woman). Dude, have your personal life, but that’s super unprofesh!
Then, recently, a guy came to buy a mini guitar amp I’d handed to Mr Unprepared to sell on Gumtree. Luckily I never met him, but Mr Unprepared told me how the guy let him know he’d stalked his Facebook page and saw me in his profile pic. He had noticed that I am Asian and wanted to know if I was from Thailand because he had a Thai girlfriend and he then went on about how amazing it is to go to Thailand and pick a girlfriend.
Because “All the girls…” (like they’re all interchangeable and who they are doesn’t matter – OMG)
YUCK YUCK YUCK.
Why do people share these things? And why do they think they’re in some kind of club with my husband (who does NOT have yellow fever) and think they can talk that way about women with him? Eww.
I have nothing against those who genuinely fall in love with someone who just happens to be from another race or country and go on to have beautiful, healthy relationships for the right reasons (obviously). It’s the misogynistic, racist (yes racist) guys who creep me out. The part that is the most disturbing is that they seem to think that once they’ve been involved with one Asian woman, they have some kind of ownership over the rest of us or treat us with some kind of familiarity that is waaaaay inappropriate. The entitlement to talk to me or think I’m going to want to be in their company is gross. It’s that entitlement that makes them cross all sorts of lines – I know because I’ve been to the local pubs on a Friday night enough times during my adult life.
When these morons think they know you based on a picture, it’s creepy. And when they know where you live – even worse. YUCK YUCK YUCK.
And when they’re just buying something from you, but go to the trouble to stalk your Facebook…OFF THE SCALE.
I do realise that two out of three things on this list involve Gumtree. Interesting coincidence…haha.
Anyway, tell me…what the hell creeps you out?