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Taking Stock: May 2017

It’s May! I feel like this year is zooming by, but I’m not mad about it.

It’s time for me to take stock, like I do every couple of months! It’s a great way to capture what’s happening in an exact moment of my life. I find I actually get quite REAL in these posts for some reason. You would probably find out some little things about me that I don’t mention anywhere else. Or not. Who knows. Let’s find out!

Making: time to catch up with myself on this lovely Friday. It’s lovely because it’s Friday and I have a day off from work or boring obligations!

Cooking: is fun on the weekends but not fun during the week when you’re rushed AF.

Drinking: wine tonight. FOR SURE.

via GIPHY

Reading: The Fifth Letter by Nicola Moriarty. I have only just started it. The themes behind the story really resonated with me when I was looking for something new to read, so here we are! I am stoked to actually have something to list here. I am reading more this year like I hoped I would! Not much, but more! Go me!

Wanting: to get to a place in my life where I can commit to anything social/fitness wise/financial without fertility stuff hanging over my head anymore.

Looking: at my Fitbit – I’m charging it right now, so of course I can’t walk anywhere.

Playing: my own music on the way home from the school drop off is the best. I never want to get out of the car because there’s always a good song playing! I think I need a long solo road trip – that would be the best!

Deciding: on what I will do exercise wise today. I think some treadmill time and some Fitness Marshall dance work outs sounds great. I just want it to be fun today.

Wishing: with all of my heart and soul for some fertility success this year.

Enjoying: the quiet. I love the quiet of my house right now.

Waiting: is difficult. I am getting more impatient as I get older, I swear it.

Liking: Instagram stories more now that it’s been around a while longer. I am using it more and looking at other stories more too. I think it’s just an extra procrastination tool to add to my snapchat addiction! I still think they stole it from Snapchat and WTF but it’s growing on me.

Wondering: if the weather will make up its mind about what it wants to do right now. I like that it’s trying to hold onto the warm sun, but I hate that it changes from one extreme to the other in one day! I never know what to wear!

Loving: the fact that I’m finding my own unique style again. Each year I hit a bit of a style slump but there’s no better feeling than picking myself up again and updating my wardrobe.

Pondering: over when I should return to my hair salon and enact the second part of my plan to get really rad hidden rainbow hair happening. I’ve already lightened it once, but I need to go back to get it really bright blonde for maximum fashion colour impact!

Considering: whether or not to start doing afternoon school pick ups through the kiss ‘n’ drop lane. The Little Mister has been nagging me (he thinks it’s such a big kid thing to do) and while the idea of never leaving my car sounds super appealing, a part of me knows I’ve been a bit absent this year at the school with all the fertility shit, so if standing awkwardly at the school gate for a few minutes a day so I get that great after school run-up-and-hug is what it takes to feel like I’m THERE, then I think I’ll do it. Maybe I can pick and choose a few days to do kiss ‘n’ drop when it suits. Compromise!

Buying: jeggings for the first time recently was a little out of character for me, but a great decision (and I can’t believe I’m saying that)! I made sure to buy the ones that basically look like jeans and weren’t too obvious. But the stretchiness of the waistband has been welcomed! My body fluctuates all the time (partly due to constant weird fertility treatment shit and partly because I love food) and I got sick of playing the ‘will I have muffin top today’ game.

Watching: a bunch of stuff on the go on Netflix lately. Chelsea, Riverdale, Designated Survivor. 

Hoping: I’ll get to catch up with some good friends soon. I’ve got a couple of peeps on my ‘must see soon’ list and as soon as my schedule becomes a little more predictable, I can’t wait to arrange something.

Marvelling: at the kindness of strangers. A couple of ladies with really full trollies let me go in front of them at Aldi today because I only had 3 items. They were so nice. That’s the kind of thing that I like to pay forward. I hope I get to do that for someone else soon.

Cringing: at the fact that I had to avoid a good (male) friend at the shops today. I had a bunch of bras in my hand and it just seemed like stopping to chat awkwardly was not something I felt our friendship needed in that moment 😂 I hid like a big baby in the womens’ accessories section until he was gone!

Needing: a few more nights of good sleep. As always.

Questioning: what amount of cleavage is a classy amount of cleavage. I have had the girls out a little more than usual lately. Slightly lower necklines and the like. Nothing too crazy or inappropes, but it’s kind of a big deal for me. I always worry people will judge me even though they shouldn’t and probably wouldn’t. I think I hid my chest area completely when I got pregnant with the Little Mister and had a bad rash (in 2011) and never got my confidence back again.

Smelling: nothing. No news is good news.

Following: the Facebook page of a local personal trainer who does group boot camps on the beach nearby. Her class times sound really good, I love being at the beach, I need to do something like this, but I haven’t figured out if I can commit yet. So I am watching quietly and biding my time like a really good stalker.

Noticing: that I feel nice and calm today. I’ve needed this after a week full of nervous energy.

Knowing: what I’m doing would be great. Generally. In life. Ha!

via GIPHY

Thinking: about my plans for the weekend. Hopefully I’ve struck the right balance between rest and getting out of the house enough to avoid insanity.

Admiring: people who are there for others, even when they have their own struggles.

Sorting: my wardrobe out still. I’m so excited to actually have clothes to wear this autumn/winter.

Getting: messages from my besties and just talking shit back and forth is always a great part of my day.

Bookmarking: silly videos I find on Facebook that I want to show Mr Unprepared later so he can laugh or cringe. I don’t know if my efforts are always appreciated 😂

Coveting: those Dyson stick vacuum cleaner things. Or a Roomba robot vacuum cleaner. One day I shall have one. One day. Just not for Mother’s Day. Because that might not go down so well haha.

Disliking: not much right this minute.

Opening: my fitbit app is the first thing I do each morning. I like to see how I slept. Sometimes this is a valuable exercise and sometimes it’s a self inflicted torture thing haha.

Giggling: about my people watching adventures in the school car park (yes my life feels like it revolves around the school car park – can you tell). I see some really great things that make me laugh (in a not obvious way of course).

Feeling: happy right now. In this moment!

Snacking: has been a problem. Mostly because there’s SO MUCH CHOCOLATE in my house right now. I am not normally a snacker or a chocoholic but the temptation is just too great (and the PMS has been real too).

via GIPHY

Helping: myself to relax by having a quiet day seems to be working.

Hearing: birds making noises in the distance. Which is so much nicer than listening to the recent ridiculous night time cat fights (they are not our cats but they think our place is an ideal battleground – gah)!


What have you been up to lately?

Kez Gets Physical: Let’s try that again!

Look, I had great intentions when term 1 of the school year began. I was going to work really hard on being one healthy little mofo and have amazing success like I did at the end of last year.

Then life got in the way.

In hindsight, I really did have some odds stacked against me. While it could be argued that there is still no excuse for not living as healthily as possible, realistically, I was going to struggle. I was sick for half of the term and the other half, I was undergoing intensive fertility treatments (no – I’m not pregnant – feel free to spread the word 🙄).

The best I could do was maintain my post Christmas weight (an extra kilo or so) and then accept that my diet and exercise routines would be disrupted, with me eventually putting on a second extra kilo for good measure (medically that would have been hard to avoid – long story – won’t bore you).

As we close out term 1 now, I see another opportunity to kick arse. I have a decent gap between treatments and I am so excited to have the freedom and the energy to do whatever the f*ck I want with my body. That’s been the biggest thing for me. Feeling like my body is my own again for a bit. No tests. No invasive procedures or ‘look sees’. Bliss! Maybe my fellow fertility challenged peeps might understand this?

I need to optimise my time and put in the hard yards to get ahead again.

I want to feel fit, strong, leaner and more agile. I also kind of feel the pressure to fit into all my new (slightly smaller) clothes I literally just bought right before I puffed out in the last couple of weeks (most of which was medically unavoidable – again long story).

I am proud of myself because we just got home from a great trip to NSW. Despite indulging a little, I came home the same weight I was when I flew there. I even lost some body fat! Yes!

Moving forwards, here are a few things I want to commit to:

Doing ALL of the work outs

Often I’ve chosen to (or have been advised to) pass on some particularly challenging/awesome looking work outs I’ve seen online etc. It was disappointing but important that I listened to my body. Right now I have no reason to fear anything. That feels so good. I am going to do whatever takes my fancy. I’m going to work my whole body and have fun giving anything a go. I actually crave all the initial soreness that comes with trying new things and I look forward to moving past that soreness and realising that I’m getting stronger/fitter. When something takes my fancy, I will bookmark it and try it at my earliest convenience. I can’t wait to see the difference that occurs in my body when I can vary my routine more. No more holding back. YES!

Avoiding food that isn’t the best for me

I’ve rattled on about this before. I just need to cut down on processed food and carbs and excessive sugar. Same old story. I just need to be more disciplined. I really feel like my head is finally back in the right place to get started again.

Weight loss

While I have a specific goal I’m working towards medium term, I will be happy if I simply lose more weight than I have gained recently. While I have mentioned that I’d like to fit in my clothes better, this really won’t be so much about the numbers on the scale. It will be more about feeling really healthy (mentally and physically) and living really well.

Drinking more water

I admit that I can be terrible at keeping up my water intake. Recently I was medically advised after a procedure that if I didn’t, then I could become quite sick (it’s standard advice for all who undergo this). I forced that 2-3 litres in a day and I honestly do feel better for it and I am glad the habit was created. I am finally out of the danger zone with my health, but I want to continue this regardless. My skin looks less scaly and dry too. I love not having chapped lips – they look waaaay cuter when I put on my lippie!

Documenting my progress to stay accountable

You can follow the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter, to see how I’m going! If you want to share something you’re up to that I might want to see/try/celebrate with you, then use the hashtag to get my attention! I’d love to share in your journey (yuck – “journey” haha).


OK, so there it is. I’ve so got this (again), right? I swear, if I get sick again, I’m going to get a bit stabby. But we’re going to think positive, aren’t we? Yes we are.

image: GIPHY

Kez Gets Physical: Non Scale Victories.

Oh boy. I felt a bit embarrassed by my huge proclamation of how amazing everything was going to go with my healthy living habits once school returned for term 1 this year. Because it hasn’t exactly gone to plan! The first week was stressful – I (along with Mr Unprepared) had a very important (in)fertility appointment the day before school went back and the Little Mister then had staggered starts to his pre-primary career (it’s his first year of full time school). This led to both comfort eating and me just not getting my head around the fact that the holidays were over! The routine wasn’t fully in place yet!

Week 2, I was really excited. I’d been waiting for the school term to kick in properly and I was quite motivated! Which of course was a great time to come down with a throat infection. My diet wasn’t totally terrible but it wasn’t amazing. I was exhausted. I was on cold and flu tablets. I was just surviving – not much exercise for me!

So, week 3… It started pretty well! Walks with my OG MG (that’s me trying to be like a cool kid but being a really lame parent while describing my original mothers’ group from when the Little Mister was born). Time on the treadmill. Better organised meals etc.

After that, I got sick again. Or maybe my original sickness never truly left me. GAH.

But then I realised that the numbers on the scale are definitely (thankfully) not everything! I have had some great non scale victories lately and I should celebrate those!

A funny little hollow in the middle of my back

I’m a bit weird. I don’t measure myself, but occasionally I’ll discover something new about my body. Like I’ll literally stumble across a part of my body with my eyes/hands and think, “oh that’s different”. Today I felt a little hollow in my lower back. A little dip near my spine that didn’t used to be there. At first I thought maybe I was actually getting fatter as the fat on my sides seemed more accentuated thanks to this little hollowed area. Then I realised that I can feel my spine more. Like I can tell I’ve lost a few layers of fat in that area.

I’ve been self conscious of my back fat, so this was really encouraging! I hope to get back that lovely thing that happens when you’re in shape and your back curves in nicely and your butt becomes more defined! Right now I sometimes feel like I have one big back-butt LOL. I mean, I look normal enough in clothes, but I would love to see that change when I’m in my birthday suit.

My mum noticed I’ve ‘lost weight’

I hadn’t seen my mum for maybe a month (she was interstate for a bit) and when we got together she said I’m looking good and like I’ve lost weight! This was a really really great thing to hear because I know I can be really self critical and I can always trust her to be brutally honest if need be. So when my mum says it, I know she means it. While the scales might not say I’ve lost weight since Christmas, I must have stayed a bit more toned or have lost some fat. Awesome!

My dad said he could see a change!

So I love my dad, right, but ask my mum and she will tell you he can be a little slower to catch on if you get a hair cut or new glasses etc haha. When he said to me that he could see a difference this past weekend, I was over the moon!

I’ve dropped a dress size or two! 

It’s taken me a while to get here, but I’ve finally accepted myself as being two smaller sizes* in everything except pants (they’ve always been my worst enemy apart from that one time I was too skinny in year 11). I was busting out of my old size in dresses or t-shirts and now I find myself reaching for a smaller size and fitting into cute dresses that actually suit my height (i.e. short arse)! I am one size smaller in jeans and there’s a little muffin top, but it could be considered a good fit (any bigger and I’d have a pouchy crotch area – nobody wants that).

Recently, I’ve found myself enjoying clothes again. Feeling reassured that something will fit when I try it on – the only question after that is whether the style flatters me. I remember despairing at trying on larger items to find nothing really fit OR flattered, as being a shorty, going a size up was not going to work without a lot of alterations in dresses etc. I’d somehow become used to that.

Last week I tried some things on, on a whim. I have a couple of special occasions coming up and I just wanted to see what was out there. I was consistently two sizes down in every store (you know how those damn sizes always vary from label to label). That felt amazing! I had so many more options than I used to. I can only hope this gets easier and easier as I continue to head towards my goal weight and tone up a lot more!

My legs

I’ve started really playing with the incline settings on my treadmill. This seems to have made a difference in my legs! They seem a bit more toned and I like how my ankles seem to be a bit more defined! My legs haven’t chafed during exercise in a while either (although we’re still very much in mermaid thigh territory – not necessarily a bad thing – what’s the point in a thigh gap anyway)!


I’ve still got to work harder at getting back on track, but I am being as kind to myself as possible. This term of school is a little lot more disruptive in nature than I might have originally anticipated. Just wanted to touch base, keep it real, and also remind myself that there’s more to being healthy than numbers on the scales. Thank goodness!

I may sometimes feel like I’m just headed nowhere (there’s nothing worse than being sick and unable to be proactive about exercise), but these things have kept me feeling encouraged about the changes I have been able to make. I’ll just keep plugging along!

Have you had any non scale victories recently?

 

*You might wonder why I haven’t mentioned my specific dress size. It’s because I don’t want to put any attitudes out there that certain sizes are something to be ashamed of or should be ideal. They simply did/didn’t work for me. One size can look very different on every woman!

 

Things I could do instead of being on hold.

Today I had to make some phone calls that I was dreading. Not just because I sometimes get tongue tied on the phone with strangers (didn’t happen today – a miracle!), but because I hate being put on hold. HATE IT. I mean, does anyone actually like it?? That music (or more accurately muzak). Those patronising messages every 5 minutes about how the service provider is thankful that I am waiting and that they appreciate my call and that I am in a long queue – thanks for being patient (when I have no choice). Yuck yuck yuck.

I got off lightly because in total, I was only on hold for 40 minutes. I had predicted that I would be waiting that long (or longer) for only one call to be answered. Still, it got me thinking about all of the things I could do instead of being on hold and, for those collective 40 minutes, I realised that I had taken for granted all of the other 40 minute blocks of time I’ve had in my life where I wasn’t on hold and what I could do with that time to make my life more enjoyable! I’m only half joking.

I thought about doing these things at the same time as being on hold, but that muzak made me feel stabby and I couldn’t think straight with it on in the background or hear anything else haha.

15 minutes

  • Program my DVR for the entire week – because that stuff takes time (priorities!)
  • Listen to around 5 pop songs (at about 3 minutes in length each)
  • Drive from my house into the centre of my home town to do more enjoyable stuff
  • Put on a pore strip and then remove it and stare at it for about 5 minutes (because that’s the fun part)
  • Write this little list of things I could do in 15 minutes while on hold (taking lengthy pauses to think in between ideas)

30 minutes

  • Give myself a decent manicure using normal nail polish – taking time to let two coats dry
  • Watch an episode of Home and Away from the night before (including the ads)
  • Do a Couch to 5 K work out on the treadmill
  • Walk to the beach from my house at a leisurely pace (because being at the beach is heaps better than being on hold)
  • Read a chapter of Amy Schumer’s book

40 minutes

  • Watch an episode of anything involving the Kardashians (without ads)
  • Have a nap – you can fit a whole sleep cycle into 40 minutes and actually wake up feeling better!
  • Complete an entire week’s online grocery shop
  • Write an entire blog post
  • Clean half my house

Bonus list – gun to my head – what I would pick over being on hold for 40 minutes:

  • Watching 8 episodes of Peppa Pig
  • Ironing around 13 work shirts for my husband (keep in mind that I don’t iron if I can get away with it and I don’t iron his stuff especially haha)
  • Asking my child to find his shoes because we’re going out (hahaha – I swear it probably takes that long for us to argue about it and for him to find them)
  • Waiting in line anywhere. OK, so that almost comes in at a tie but at least I can people watch and entertain my inner judgy bitch
  • Writing up the monthly family budget and paying all the bills – YUCK. BUT STILL LESS YUCK THAN BEING ON HOLD.

What’s the longest you’ve ever been on hold for? I bet there’s some great Centrelink personal bests out there!

 

Back to School anxiety: mine, not his.

It’s January. That time when it sinks in that the school holidays are not as long as you thought they were and you feel that downward slide back to reality. Another school year, filled with trying to remember stuff and being on time for drop offs and pick ups and SO MANY LUNCHES to be made.

I am looking forward to the Little Mister attending pre-primary full time. I imagine the first few weeks will be full of exhausted after school meltdowns, but I am excited to be able to spread my work hours out over the week more evenly and feel a lot more productive.

The thing is, I get anxious. Anxious that he will fit in and do OK compared to the other kids. Anxious that he’ll be anxious. Anxious that I will forget a whole lot of stuff or be totally awkward in the lead up to the first day back – book lists and the dreaded uniform shop visits (I swear I can never remember what hours or days they’re open).

I know it won’t be as bad as last year. Last year I was a wreck. The Little Mister was starting kindy at the same place I went to high school. I was having all kinds of flashbacks to my time there (nothing horrendous or obviously we wouldn’t send him there – just freak outs because I felt like I was still the student trying to be on my best behaviour and not get in trouble haha). I had never sent a kid to school before. I felt like I was still a kid. How was this happening?! Sure, we’d done day care a couple of days a week in 2015, but this was a big deal!

I had missed an orientation day because I screwed up the dates (and then my husband had unexpected surgery on his toe which would have meant we couldn’t make it anyway). I’d had a couple of false starts trying to get to the uniform shop (see – I messed up their opening hours then too haha). I hadn’t submitted my online booklist order on time, so had to send Mr Unprepared out to scramble for each individual item (which made me nervous because obviously if we got the wrong stuff we’d be outcasts forever haha). I was also feeling like a hot mess for a variety of reasons that had nothing to do with the the Little Mister’s schooling. I was not on top of things. I really was not. Even reading this paragraph back tells me that I was not in the running for “Mum of the Year”.

This year, I feel a little more settled. I know the school. I know the Little Mister has come a long way since the beginning of 2016. I’ve met a bunch of really nice school mums and I know I will meet a whole bunch more. I’ve got my shit sorted on a nice calendar now, which I keep updated. I have planned the final weeks of the school holidays so that I have everything done in time.

But still, I feel nervous. Of course I don’t show the Little Mister this and I really hope he can’t tell. He gets nervous enough on his own, truth be told.

I feel bummed that it’s not all holiday fun and games right now in my head anymore (even though that kid is driving me up the wall and ultimately I will be grateful to have dropped him off that first day haha).

I feel silly for being nervous and I feel like I’m wasting these precious last weeks worrying about school stuff when there’s still fun to be had. I’ve really got to get over myself! Just tick something off the list and then go have a blast, Kez. Seriously, woman!

Just like last year, we will survive this one too. I was struggling to get my head around a whole lot of stuff in 2016 (finally beginning treatment for infertility for one and in all honesty grief – grief that my little boy was starting school already and had no siblings that I’d always hoped to give him by the time he started kindy) and I think I should be kind to myself. It was a rough and scary year from beginning to end.

2017 may or may not be any better, but at least I will kind of know what to expect (probably jinxing myself right there).

Awesomely a little less unprepared, maybe?

Maybe one day, my heart won’t leap up into my throat when my child starts a new school year. Please tell me this gets easier! Lie to me if you have to!

Does anyone else get nervous like me? Am I …normal? Or a silly freak? 

 

Kez Gets Physical: Week 8 Update

Well well well. I cannot believe it. The end of the school term is finally here! The Little Mister finishes tomorrow and it’s the  holidays! I don’t know who is more excited. OK, it’s me.

This also means that my super strict Kez Gets Physical mode relaxes a little until the school term begins again. You know, because life is short and Christmas is yummy and all that.

In saying that, I have learned a lot during this term of better habits.

I know that I don’t want to slack off and not exercise and eat carb heavy meals every day, even when I’ve told myself I don’t have to. I KNOW. I have come a looooong way. At the very least I’d like to maintain my current weight before term 1 of 2017 begins, but I would love to drop a bit more before then – even if it’s at a slower rate.

I feel like I’ve made good choices in deciding to be much more vigilant about my food and exercise during the school term. It was so much easier to fit new habits into a structured routine and the fact that there is more school term than holidays throughout the year should hold me in good stead. I definitely want to continue this, even when I do reach my goal weight.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot about how diet and exercise work together, as I’ve been able to track my body fat percentage during weigh ins. I notice the difference between the weeks when I’ve not exercised, versus those when I have.

So…how did I do in all of the 8 weeks?

Here’s where I’m at…

In total, I have lost 5.7kg – not bad! My BMI is almost back within the healthy range – not far to go at all!

I currently weigh less than I have in the time I’ve owned a fitbit (and could track it well) since October 2013. That feels good.

I’ve dropped a clothing size in my tops. I still need to tighten up some muffin top to feel entirely comfortable in my clothing but I will get there. Some of my dresses are starting to look too big or unflattering now, although I’m not convinced I could drop a size yet.

I worked out for an average of twice a week, throughout this challenge period. That’s nowhere near as much as I’d hoped to achieve, if I’m honest, but life has been pretty hectic and I think I did my best. I will look into finding ways to improve this.

In this past 8 weeks, I averaged 48,203 steps per week. Could definitely improve but I’m not too mad about it.

Where am I going?

Throughout the holidays, I will continue to try to exercise wherever possible. I will be having a few cheat meals or snacks. I will keep my diet predominantly low carb where possible.

I want to work on my mid section more. I’ve always had a fear around this (fertility related shit) but I have decided to get over myself and just work those abs and sides. Why not? I’m not pregnant. If any of my past problems were going to present themselves, they would whether I exercised hard or not. I should just fuckin’ live and stop holding back, damn it! These holidays are the perfect time.

I will have the Little Mister with me more so finding me-time to exercise will be more challenging. Also, Mr Unprepared will be working longer hours, which will be difficult. I will start to do some awesome YouTube work outs during the day – the Little Mister can join in if he wants and I’ll try to clock up my 30 active minutes minimum daily.

I have 2.8kg to lose before I reach my initial weight target. I would be so thrilled if I could reach this target before school goes back. I won’t beat myself up if I don’t but anything that gets me closer by then will make me very happy.

After this post, I don’t plan on continuing weekly updates (because boring!). I will be sure to check in occasionally, but for now I think I’ll give it a rest (you may find little updates with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on social media). Thanks for those who have stuck it out with me for the last couple of months. This has really helped me to be accountable. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement.


I really needed to make these changes and I am so glad I did. It does take some sacrifice and hard decisions, when temptations (and enablers) are everywhere, but the hard work has been worth it. I feel so much better about myself and I don’t regret it for a second. Getting past those initially difficult weeks where you’re adjusting and suffering from withdrawals is hard, but when you come out the other side you feel so much better. I needed to do this for myself. With the extra weight, I was carrying stress and sadness about my secondary infertility situation. I needed to let it go and start again. I’m getting there.

Thank you for sharing in the (sorry…going to say that word) journey! I mean it. You guys are effing awesome.

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5 ways to recharge (and stay sane) before Christmas.

Oh my goodness. The end of the school year has had me beat! The kids aren’t the only people who are exhausted! I have been so tired. I mean, I’m always a bit tired (because duh I’m a parent and also *ahem* a wife to a lovely but annoying man hahaha) but lately I’ve found it harder to keep bouncing back and to just push through!

I’ve decided to put together a little list of things that, based on past experience, might help me to survive this busy time of year. Things that will hopefully revitalise me a little so I’m not a worn out bitch by Christmas day! I want to enjoy this time of year because it’s my favourite time of year! I’m like Will Ferrell dressed in a fugly elf outfit, yelling out random things about loving Christmas at strangers. But not until December 1st, because I’m not crazy or anything. Geez.

I’m a bit special.

Anyway, where was I?

Right-o. List of things that help me to recharge when I’m bloody exhausted…

Make your bedroom feel like a glorious place to sleep. 

Better sleep makes you less tired! I know. What a revelation. Who knew? Last night, after a sleepless week and a whole bunch of quite frankly overly realistic and terrifying nightmares, I decided to do something about it. We declared it clean sheets day. I aired the room out and let a lot of light in. I lit a couple of gorgeous candles I’d forgotten about (and blew them out before bed time because of safety and shit).

Last night felt like heaven and I slept a lot better. The air/energy in the room felt so much lighter and not murky and stuffy. No nightmares! Yes!

I won’t go on about it because it’s all been said, but go to bed early when you’ve got nothing on. Rest up so you can enjoy other things later!

Let yourself get dumb in your rare down time. 

I used to get made fun of for always watching mindless trash TV or movies that didn’t exactly evoke deep thoughts or complex mind gymnastics. People like to say things like, “Why do you like that mindless junk? It will rot your brain!”

But to be honest, that’s the exact result I’m going for! I spend a lot of time overthinking things, reading about everything that’s going on in the world, dealing with the every day complexities of life. I consider myself to be pretty clever and a not so bad critical thinker. Sometimes I just need to switch off – something I’ve been crap at doing lately!

Ever since I explained that to my trash TV hating people, they have understood and left me to it. I’m always a heaps better person after spending a while being all like, OMG WHUT HAS KHLOE KARDASHIAN DONE TO GET THAT ARSE? HOW IS KYLIE JENNER HER OWN STEPKID’S AUNTY?

Basically, I don’t meditate (probably should) or do yoga (shut up Mum), but watching the shallower stuff really helps me to unwind!

You know, I need a break from being so damn clever all the time! 😜

Drink more water and eat healthy things. 

I have been rattling on about this stuff in my Kez Gets Physical updates. I am really appreciating being fuelled by things that don’t make me feel sluggish and gross. You don’t have to do it for weight loss, just do it to feel energised and in a better mood! I love to have a green juice when I feel like total crap (I know I sound like a wanker but it really really works). I also think water is the bomb diggity. It wakes me up in the morning (I know you coffee lovers are looking at me like I’m a freak) and brings me back to life when I am feeling exhausted.

I can always feel the difference between me having a decent salad for lunch, versus the times I’ve indulged in less healthy options (they’re so tempting when we feel like crap and want something quick and we just want comfort food). Not falling into a food coma by 2pm really helps me get through the afternoon!

Acknowledge your exhaustion and communicate well.

I am the crabbiest cow when I’m exhausted. I’ll admit it! I get cranky and I find it sooooo exhausting to be bothered telling anyone how I feel. But it’s worth doing. Things always go better when I confide in my husband about how burnt out I’m feeling, what he could do to assist (martyr shit is pretty much banned in my house) and just give him the heads up so he’s not shocked by my lack of excitement about life or my slightly stabby moods. He can do the same with me. It’s better than both of us just throwing our weight around like angry bears. It’s not a perfect system (we’re only human and life gets crazy) but we try.

Also, I have never fallen into this trap myself, but I have a feeling some people get on the internet and let their crabby moods affect the comments they leave on social media. Dudes, realise it’s your tiredness and stress talking and nobody wants to be on the receiving end! The other person might be exhausted AF too! Don’t fight with people just because you’re tired. That in itself is a waste of energy! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Switch off that screen or walk away if you think you won’t be able to resist!

Be in touch with your feelings, y’all!

Get outside.

I love this time of year. So much sunshine (and Vitamin D). Fresh air is so revitalising. Even if you just stand outside for a few minutes or go for a short walk, you will feel a little better. Exercise is great for building stamina and getting those endorphins, but if you just don’t have it in you (understandably – trust me I’ve been feeling it), just get out for no other reason than to be in the outdoors. There doesn’t have to be a point to it or a task to complete. Just go outside and stand there or sit and have a drink or better still, lie in a hammock if you have one. I need to try this a whole lot more.


Nothing I’ve said is particularly revolutionary, but I hope it helps. This time of the year can be stressful and I think that if we can all practice a little bit of (realistic) self care and be kind to each other, we’ll see the year out in a really positive way (regardless of whether it was kind to us or not)!

What do you do to stay sane during the ‘silly’ season/end of the school year? 

5 things you should know about me.

Oh, boy. The US election has definitely kept me glued to my television in a ‘watching a train wreck’ kind of way. It’s kind of hard not to lose some faith in humanity over this – even from as far away as Australia.

The support for Donald Trump’s campaign has shocked and saddened me. It’s one thing to be disgusted by that awful, ugly man. It’s another thing to realise just how many people are willing to support him, despite his overt sexism, racism and every other kind of bigoted display imaginable.

In light of this (and other crap that has happened on our home soil too), I’ve decided to make some declarations about myself. So there’s absolutely no confusion. You don’t have to agree, but you don’t have to keep reading either. I just want you to know what I’m about and I won’t be shy about letting you know what I believe in. I think it’s important you know where I’m coming from (if you’re a regular follower you probably already had a hunch about these things)…

I am fighting the urge to type, “because duh” under each heading, but I’ll try to explain…

I believe in marriage equality

I believe (and know) whole heartedly that our sexuality is not a choice. We are who we are and we will love who we will love. Some of us have more fluid sexual identity or preference than others.

I honestly do not see how someone loving somebody else of the same gender affects my life for the worst. Because it doesn’t. No more than  Mr and Mrs Joe Bloggs from down the road’s marriage affects me.

I will always sign a petition to make it legal in Australia. I will always let my gay friends (and anyone else LGBTQ) know that I am with them on this, wholeheartedly – even if they don’t want to get married, they deserve the choice. To not even be given a choice is just horrible in this day and age. What is that saying to those who are coming to terms with their homosexuality? That they’re not valid as people? Holy shit. We can do better than that.

I am against racism (whether you admit you’re racist or not).

I am against the vilifying of entire racial groups, based on the actions/stereotypes of a few. I don’t care if you start your sentences with “I’m not racist, but…” or whether you belong to the KKK. Racism is racism.

I think that we benefit so much from learning about our differences. Just think about all of the inventions we use every day, the words in the English language we take for granted, the food we enjoy every day in Australia. If we benefit from these things, it would be ridiculously hypocritical to condemn entire races and cultures.

We shouldn’t hide behind ignorance. We should try to learn more all the time.

Don’t even get me started on what I think of people who insult people just for the way they look or what cultural clothing they are wearing.

I dream of a world where casual racism is no longer acceptable and where white privilege isn’t so glaring. We have a way to go.

I am a feminist.

Yep. The ‘F’ word. I am out and proud about that one! It’s about equality (as all of today’s facts about me are). Women are still subjected to sexism – both ugly and violent, and insidious and subtle, every damn day.

We’re pushing back and we’re fighting hard to create change. There are men who do not want to change the status quo because they don’t want to share their privilege or be shown up by a woman. It’s sad and it’s disgusting. As humans, we should not try to diminish another in order to feel better about ourselves, and yet we do it all the time when it comes to gender.

We as women have even been taught to oppress ourselves. Just look at all the ‘mummy wars’ on the internet. It’s horrendous. We don’t even know we’re doing it.

I am trying my hardest to teach my son to be the change we all need to see in this world. Imagine if we all taught the next generation how to treat each other with love and respect, instead of letting arseholes divide us?

I don’t care what religion you belong to as long as you’re an awesome human being and you have integrity.

While I think of myself as a pretty spiritual person, I don’t think I’m overly religious. In fact, sometimes I can feel pretty rebellious about it. It’s not anything against your God or other deities. It’s more about the ickiness of when a few corrupt, but powerful, people use the vulnerabilities of others to push their own agendas. I like to think of myself as a free agent. I’m on the side of good people. I don’t care what religion you identify as belonging to, if you believe in love (as a verb), acceptance and you have integrity. i.e. you’re not a hypocritical, closed minded dumb arse.

I believe human rights are more important than ‘free’ hate speech.

If you use ‘free speech’ as an excuse to say hateful things, we may not get along very well. I don’t mind us having a whole bunch of differences, but if your views seek to oppress another person or group of people, then I cannot be on your side and you should know that I believe that with the power of ‘free’ speech, comes responsibility. Be wise in your choices.

You’re either a good person who cares about others or you’re not. If you’re not, it is my free choice to not listen. So enjoy that freedom of speech, but don’t expect your trolling comments to be published on my blog or argued with on my Facebook page. That’s MY choice. It goes both ways.


Glad I got that off my chest.

What should I know about you? 

The longest winter.

I am cold. I am tired. I am getting really GRUMPY.

Usually, winter makes me feel sluggish and ‘down’ at worst. But now I’m starting to feel some kind of rage. Like I am actually mad that this is still happening. Like every chilly breeze that hits me through my supposedly warm layers of clothing is a personal insult and I am not coping! I obviously could not survive in a colder climate.

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I know spring never usually kicks in properly until October, but OMG I am so done. This past winter has been colder than usual and it started in April, I swear. Not cool, nature, not cool! Actually, too cool.

Is it too much to ask for just 2 days in a row of reliable sunshine ever? Is it too much to ask for a few days in a row without rain? Even just some blue sky. BLUE SKY. PLEASE. GRRRR.

And could our night time minimum temperatures just be above 10 degrees Celsius? Could our day time temperatures reach anywhere above 20 degrees on the regular? Seriously. I’m not asking much.

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I crave the type of weather where I can dress for the day with confidence that I will be comfortable. Not have to account for several layers of warmth, worry about whether I need an umbrella or rainproof clothing, overthink my footwear choices, check the weather forecast every freakin’ day.

I am sick of being scared of the shade. Because the shade is fucking freezing. Anything under cover might be dry, but then you freeze. Not. Fair.

I miss incidental exercise. Taking the Little Mister out for a bike ride, walking to the corner shops regularly, taking the dogs down to the beach (we often still do that through the winter but right now I am TOO MAD). The stuff I can do when I can’t get alone time to spend on my treadmill.

I am sick of everyone being sick. It’s been the worst winter on record in my little family and I am so done! FUCK OFF, GERMS!

I keep praying that I’ll look at the 7 day weather forecast and see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel, but it never ends! THIS WINTER NEVER ENDS.

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Worst part is, it’s probably going to be a sudden summer (you know – to make up for lost time) and we’ll all be sweltering overnight and feeling really ripped off that we didn’t get an enjoyable spring.

Every season has its positives, but every season has to come to an end before I end up in a straitjacket somewhere. Seriously.

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Are your moods also affected by the weather? Have a guilt free rant in the comments section if you like! 

Books I really want to read.

I don’t read enough books. Which is a travesty, because I quite like a good book and I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty good at reading. Even better at it than I am at writing (OMG I KNOW). I read take-out menus, blogs, really bad clickbait articles about the Kardashians and week old newspapers I find on my parents’ dining table when I visit, but I suck at treating myself to a good book.

I only seem to think about books just before I travel somewhere. I find I get my best reading done on a camping trip or a (child free) plane ride. After everyone climbs into bed, I get stuck into a good read. It’s a quiet, non disruptive, not-too-much-data-used way to wind down (as much as I love a hard copy of a book I find my phone is handy because it’s small and has its own light – provided I have some way to keep it charged). It’s also a fantastic way to kill time when I inevitably wake before everyone else.

I’m headed away for a little bit soon, so I thought I’d make myself a list. Sure, I’ll never get to every title here on one trip, but I find that once I get the ball rolling, it motivates me further.

Here we go!

Me Before You & After You by Jojo Moyes

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I am always wary of books that were made into movies. I can never decide whether to watch the movie first or read the book first. Because, we all know the movie can never capture every detail that a book can. I remember the agony of deciding to read My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult before seeing the movie. I felt like I’d made the right choice in the end.

This time I watched Me Before You before reading. I am hoping the book will fill in all the extra details in the relationship between the characters Lou and Will that I was craving while viewing the movie. I love that there’s a sequel and can’t wait to see what comes next.

The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo by Amy Schumer

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I love Amy Schumer. Not only is she really hilarious, but she has this knack of using her comedy to skewer the sexism that exists in both real life and in showbiz. She highlights the ridiculousness in the most fucking funny way and she’s not afraid to be rude and brutally honest! Inside Amy Schumer is my favourite sketch comedy show. In fact, it might be the only one I like! I’m not usually a fan of that format (sorry).

Anyhow, I’m expecting her book to be all that and more. I want to read about all the things that have made her who she is today.

The Wrong Girl by Zoë Foster

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I admit that I do not read anywhere near as much fiction as I do biographies and other non fiction works, but this book has got my interest, simply because of the author! I have crushed on Zoë via social media and her relationship with Hamish Blake (I really hope they’re the hilarious and cute couple I picture them as) for aaaaages. I have heard great things about her writing and it might be nice to lose myself in a fictional story for the first time in a while.

Without You, There is No Us by Suki Kim

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I have always been fascinated/horrified by stories of North Korea. As I was born in South Korea, I guess it also seems weirdly close to home (even though I haven’t actually lived there since I was 5 months old). In 2014, we actually visited a site where the North had tried to infiltrate the South in Gangneung. To this day, they have machine gun wielding guards in a tower ready to shoot at anyone who gets too close…we might have almost found out the hard way when my rather laid-back dad wanted to take a ‘short cut’ to the top of a hill – OMG! They aren’t kidding around! It’s terrifying! I was way too scared to visit the border between North and South (even though people safely visit all the time).

Anyway, I heard about this amazingly brave author on Triple J radio. She was a guest on Matt Okine and Alex Dyson’s breakfast slot. I was glued to the interview all the way to the Little Mister’s school drop off. Suki Kim is a journo who went into North Korea as an English teacher. She risked her life to write her book about what she learned while deep undercover for 6 months. Amazing.

Fight Like a Girl by Clementine Ford

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I consider myself a feminist and I must say that the older I get and the more I think about my son being out in this world, I get more and more passionate about equality. Someone who has really opened my eyes to some of the inequalities that we often miss and walk past, has been Clementine Ford. She maintains the rage like nobody else and is not afraid to call out sexism as she sees it (or receives it on social media). She always makes me think. I expect her book to be no different. I take no responsibility for how feisty I might be once I’ve finished it haha.

Have you read any of these books? Got anything else to recommend?