Category: pregnancy

I used to think “nesting” was a myth.

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Seriously. I thought nesting was just some excuse for already crazy clean freaks/domestic goddesses to get their OCD on during pregnancy. I thought there was little to no chance that I would ever succumb to such a thing. We’re talking about a lady who thinks using a “just add water” muffin mix counts as baking (and is oddly proud of this). Someone who thinks scrapbooking and crafts are lame-o. That doing dishes is optional (or only a requirement if something’s gonna stink or there aren’t any clean forks left or visitors are coming – even then, meh). Same goes for ironing. Let’s face it, I am not by any stretch of the imagination any kind of 50s housewife. In fact, until recently I wouldn’t have even considered myself a housewife at all. I probably was more the stereotype of a slobby bloke in disguise, much to the bemusement of my domestically capable husband.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fleeting episodes of Spring Cleaning Madness or house proud moments. And I won’t let things get Hoarders/How Clean is Your House cray cray. But I’ve never really enjoyed doing housework or catering for people. Those things are just activities to keep you from catching diseases or losing all your friends.

Right? Right.

So when I entered the second trimester of pregnancy (the first one was terribly tiring and I had no appetite), boy did I start making up for lost time! I’ve been baking at least twice a week. Trying new recipes, making things *gasp* from scratch. Cooking for other people and loving it. I even have a baking ‘kit’ with all the basic ingredients I could ever need – just in case I get the urge to create something delicious! I’ve been ironing clothes I might not even wear that day! I even undertook a crafts project for my dad’s birthday present – I was so obsessed with putting together a scrapbook style photo album of Mum and Dad’s recent holiday to Bali that I spent roughly 8 hours on it one evening (in between baking cupcakes and getting the husband to and from a work function of course). I have paint colour samples adorning the nursery wall and fabric for curtains all ready to go (and by ‘go’ I mean to my mum’s house where she will inevitably end up doing all the hard sewing stuff because no matter how much I might be nesting – I will never LOVE/LIKE/BE GOOD AT sewing). I’ve even bought a couple of cute jumpsuits for the baby and I’m actually getting super clucky. What is going on?!

AND? The cupcakes I made the other day were amazingly pretty, tasty and not hard as rocks or sad looking or anything. Just so you know.

I’ve mastered home made sausage rolls, choc chip cookies, choc chip and banana muffins, banana and sultana bread, self saucing chocolate pudding and cupcakes galore. Probably not a big deal to the average super-human home chef, but a massive deal for a pleb like me!

Last week I even enjoyed shopping for a new fridge and I am excited about researching good washing machines. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I’ve started to watch (and get sucked into) Masterchef for the first time. Ever. I know.

I always hoped I would turn out like this one day (despite turning my nose up at this kind of lifestyle out of fear of becoming a mini van driving soccer mum). I mean, it’s kind of nice Getting Stuff Done. My whole attitude has changed. It kind of makes life easier! I’m sure it will all go to sh*t when the baby arrives but I like feeling Capable and Motivated and Creative when it comes to my home life. It isn’t just the place I crash in after spending most of my life out and about,Β  and food isn’t just something I have to convince myself to make. It’s something I like to create.

I’m still no super Domestic Goddess (you don’t want to see the state of my bathroom on a bad day), but I’m definitely a clucky little bird fluffing about in her nest πŸ™‚

Are you a Domestic Goddess/God or a Hot Household Mess? πŸ˜‰

FAQ: Halfway, already?!

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I get asked these questions a lot lately – here are my answers πŸ™‚

So how pregnant are you? I can’t keep track!

Today I am 19 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I enter a new week of pregnancy every Friday. I like that. Fridays are always awesome (who doesn’t love a Friday?)! Everything’s going by so quickly at the moment! I feel like I blink and another week has gone by!

How are you feeling?

I’m feeling pretty good! Apart from the occasional lack of sleep, I am quite well! I am fairly comfortable (although very aware of my growing bump) and I’m fairly energetic. I have to listen to my body if I get a bit tired, but I feel quite normal! The only thing that bugs me is I get hot spots on my body (in the logical places which would be TMI to discuss here) where I can feel a bit itchy and irritated. I definitely notice that my body temperature is a little elevated (to a healthy pregnancy level). I am glad to be pregnant over the winter!!

Have you had your 20 week scan yet?

Yep – yesterday! It went really well. The baby is growing at a healthy pace (measuring about a week ahead – uh oh) and everything looked great. It’s always wonderful hearing the heartbeat again too. In fact, that feeling after a good ultrasound is the most amazing thing in the world.

Do you know the sex of your baby?!

Yes.

Are you telling anyone the sex of the baby?! Boy or girl?!

We really can’t keep the gender of our baby a secret. It would kill our family (and friends) if they didn’t know! Besides, it might get a bit obvious when we start buying things for the nursery!

Meet our baby boy πŸ™‚

He’s a bit shy, but this photo is so cute. Definitely my favourite. Of course we got five photos printed out and a DVD πŸ™‚

Most people thought I’d be having a girl so this might be a shock! I had a gut feeling it was a boy. I don’t know how I knew, but I just did.

Look how big your bump is!!

OK, so more of a statement than a question…and perhaps I say it to myself mostly…but with the bub measuring a week ahead, it’s no surprise now that I know this information! I have had a big appetite lately (trying to be nutritious but baked goods have been an issue – let’s not lie), but I don’t appear to be gaining too much weight so far.

Yesterday I found out from my mother in law that the Guy I’m Married To (and Impregnated By) weighed 9 pounds, 10 ounces when he was born. This almost made me faint. I mean, he grew up all normal sized but FAR OUT! Is our son going to be the same?! I do not even want to think about that…

I’m only little!!!!!

Also, on a side note: Please don’t jokingly ask if it’s twins or keep telling me how huuuuge I am getting? It makes me feel a little self conscious.

Do you have any names in mind now that you know it’s a boy?

We’ve been poring over a massive book of names and we’re only up to names beginning with K!! We have a couple of boy’s names we’ve already put on a shortlist, but we’re not planning on telling anyone what they are until the birth. With so many people we know being pregnant (mostly with boys) at the moment, we want to eliminate the chances of duplicate names in our friendship groups/families and see what unfolds. I feel like this way those in our circle who are further along than us won’t feel bad for choosing a similar name to us and to put it bluntly, we’ve heard of people being inspired by others’ choices, taking the name for their own child (who is born first) and making it difficult to scramble for a whole new name at the last minute. We also want to meet the baby in person before we set a name in stone – what if he doesn’t look like the name we originally picked out?!

So, I’m sorry to the curious folk – we’re staying “mum” on that one. It’s nothing personal – just a precaution!

Have you gone nuts buying stuff for the baby?

Nope. Haha. My inlaws have generously bought us a cot for the baby – it’s beautiful! I hope to go pram shopping with my mum at some point too. Other than that, we have bought zilch! I’m excited now we know what we’re having – I feel like I can really have some fun now πŸ™‚

I don’t think I’ll just buy everything blue in sight – just like if we had a girl I wouldn’t have gone overboard with the colour pink. Just a hint will do. There are some really creative boy’s clothes these days – can’t wait to dress up my little man!

We’re hoping to set up the nursery first – fun fun fun! I can’t wait to get creative.

Any other questions?? You can also ask anonymously through Tumblr or Formspring by clicking on the Ask Me Anything tab at the top right hand corner of this ol’ blog here πŸ™‚

Holy crap – we forgot the baby! And other weird pregnancy nightmares.

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I have always been quite the off-the-wall nocturnal dreamer. I’ve always thought that my dreams really make for some awesome viewing. If my dreams were movies they would be artsy masterpieces woven with intricate meanings and kooky humour (or just an episode of Family Guy). I think Ellen Page would play the main character in all of them.

In the last couple of weeks, I have lost the ability to sleep deeply. This is partially due to my husband taking up the awesome new hobby that people like to call Snoring (don’t even get me started). It is also to do with me being a little uncomfortable some nights (belly squishing ahoy!) and I think there’s something else going on. Something that keeps me in an eternal limbo between being half awake and constantly dreaming. A Kez’s Subconscious Movie Marathon of sorts. I’m adjusting, but it’s a little odd. I thought this stuff wasn’t supposed to happen until later? I never got the memo about this.

ARE MY DAYS OF SLEEPING BLISSFULLY LIKE A LOG OVER?! Mums, don’t answer that.

One thing I was told to be prepared for is strange dreams. Pfft, I thought. I’ve got this in the bag. I already dream about weird stuff – I won’t even notice the difference. I own that sh*t.

And then the other night happened. I dreamed that we had the baby (it was blonde and looked suspiciously like the baby on the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special we had just watched before bed – yes Christmas special). In the dream I basically forgot we had a baby, went out for dinner and realised I didn’t know where the hell we’d left it and whether or not we should go and check on it. Of course I panicked a lot…pre-parental anxiety anyone?

When I woke up, Husband Features listened to me recount the dream, put a comforting arm around me and said, “Don’t worry – I know that when we have a baby you won’t forget it.”

That’s reassuring, that is!

After that I had a dream that we had moved a strange housemate in and that she would be living in our bedroom. I didn’t know if that was a good idea or not (didn’t seem great for privacy reasons) and wasn’t sure if I should offer her the TV remote.

My subconscious rocks.

Then I had a dream that made me panic. I was still pregnant in this dream, but I was returning to work after a long hiatus. I was going to have my old job back. Only when I got there I was handed a course outline (like you get given at the beginning of a new semester of university) and told about my assignments and study plan. Assignments!! I was devastated. DIDN’T MY EMPLOYERS KNOW I HAD DONE THREE HARD YEARS OF UNI AND GRADUATED ALREADY?! I WAS NOT GOING TO DO THIS SH*T ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

In the dream I was almost bawling with frustration. I can tell you now, I was stoked to wake up and realise that it was all a figment of my messed up subconscious! Phew!

A lot of my dreams seem to feature me dealing with looking after a “third” person or a vulnerable little life in some capacity. Like pregnancy book advice 101. I’m so textbook.

What have you been dreaming about lately (pregnant or not)?

FYI: I have no upper body strength and very little balance.

Pic: Am I doing it right??

Now that I am entering my 19th week of pregnancy, I’ve got some energy back and I have been missing my exercise! I ordered myself a pre-natal pilates DVD after realising that Zumba (at least the way I do it) and sweating it out like crazy on an exercise bike might not be the best idea anymore (at least the way I do it).

I put the DVD in the player (while my husband vacated the premises – can’t blame him) and let the corny musical introduction fill the lounge room/theatre room/front room/whatever the fashionable thing to call it these days is. It sounded like one of those old educational videos you get shown in school – no matter what the topic is. This filled me with trepidation.

I watched the basic stuff you need to know before starting the workout (the 5 principles as they trendily called it). Stuff like how to breathe properly (oops – I do it all wrong), how to keep your posture good and um…3 other things that I have already forgotten.

The American lady instructor was putting on this funny voice that was supposed to be soothing and gentle, but I do admit that I wanted to strangle her a few minutes in. Especially when she wasn’t explaining the breathing thing properly (it must be her fault – I was inhaling and exhaling just fine all day every day until she came along).

There were two pregnant ladies who were demonstrating the workout. They were trim, taut, terrific and a little too suspiciously good at “beginner” pre-natal pilates…this made me feel slightly inadequate. Which is what you want to feel when you’re huffing and puffing and rolling around on your yoga mat (which is still curly from when you got it out of the box it’s been sitting in for three years) like a scarily uncoordinated hippopotamous. And who wouldn’t be scared of a hippo that can’t control itself?

I soon realised that if I thought I had no upper body strength before, just wait until my puny little arms have to hold up me and a growing foetus! I also noticed way too much tension in my shoulders (probably from straining to see the television screen at an unhealthy angle to check if I was doing everything right – I wasn’t). The instructor (I can’t remember her name but she looked like a Carol) kept telling me (and those perky, flexible pregnant ladies) to “roll over and change sides” on the mat every two seconds. I wondered why I couldn’t just do everything on one side and then switch later? I felt like a beached whale!

At 26 minutes (out of 30) I admitted defeat – at least for my first attempt. I just sat there mesmerised by the bellies on the DVD. Very hypnotic. I wondered how far along they were (further than me by the looks of things – which just made me feel worse). I wondered how long they’d been doing pilates for (probably since they were foetuses themselves). I wondered if we had any choc chip cookies left. And then it was over.

It was all a little demoralising…but I jumped in awesomely unprepared as usual πŸ™‚

In all fairness, while I struggled (it being my first time and all) I do believe that pilates and yoga are an awesome idea for exercise during pregnancy. I will persevere and I know that in time I will look like a (slightly almost) graceful hippo as opposed to an uncoordinated one. I’ll be more flexible and hopefully the breathing exercises will help. And I do admit that the exercise endorphins did sneak up on me – I was in the best mood for the rest of the day (which pleasantly surprised the hubby haha).

I think that my favourite pregnancy exercise activity will still be walking, but I will try to keep on top of the stretchy, breathe-y stuff too. Who knows – maybe if I get my confidence levels up, I might even attempt it in a class. In front of people (no promises).

Celebrity bump crushes.

Pic: Now that is maternity chic!

You know how you never notice a certain model or make of car on the road until you buy one? And then all of a sudden you see cars just like yours everywhere? Well, that’s kind of how I feel about pregnant bellies. All of a sudden I feel like I have this crazy radar when it comes to bumps within a million kajillion kilometre radius of me. I can see them. I can see all of them!

I feel like I should insert an evil laugh there, but it doesn’t quite seem appropriate…

And I’ve started believing that every single female celebrity is knocked up too. Not to mention that every single movie I see seems to have a pregnant person in it. I saw Fast and Furious 5 (at a beanbag cinema – needed a hand getting up afterwards) and there was this ridiculous pregnant character (forget her name but she’s the character who’s bonking Paul Walker – yep I remember him) who was jumping off buildings, avoiding bullets and driving cars like she stole them (well – she did). At one point, I’m pretty sure she was walking knee deep in contaminated water in a third world country…and she only threw up once in the movie. All in the first trimester. I think we all know what I thought of that as I watched, collapsed in a beanbag after struggling just to walk around the city of Melbourne all day…

I read that my brain capacity is reduced at this point in pregnancy. I’m a bit forgetful at times (well – more than usual), but I didn’t predict the happiness I would feel zoning out to The Circle when I’m feeling under the weather or my new need to buy New Idea magazines (just the issues with babies of celebrities or pregnant celebrities on the cover). I didn’t predict the dumb thoughts that would pop into my head, like:

“Oh WOW, my baby is going to be the same age as Pink’s baby. And the Beckhams’ baby. And Selma Blair’s baby. And January Jones’ baby. And Kate Hudson’s baby. And Natalie Portman’s baby. And Alyssa Milano’s baby…”

Yeah, you get the idea. Forget the fact that tons of babies are born every single year all around the world. My baby is going to be born of the same vintage as some celebrity’s baby. And I still don’t really know who the f*ck January Jones is. But apparently, no-one knows who the father is…shocker.

Don’t even get me started on all the people who think there’s something in the water when they see more than a couple of bumps in my extended social circle!

And let me just say that it gets my goat that celebrities don’t ever reveal how far along they are (probably to avoid crazy paparazzi attention close to the birth), because if I am able to look at skinny celebrities in magazines who are airbrushed and make myself feel crap about my short little legs, then I deserve to be able to compare my bump to other celebrities’ bumps (at all the different stages of pregnancy) and make myself feel awful too! Equal rights!

I think it’s just my odd way of looking for people (or those in the public eye) to relate to as I experience pregnancy for the first time. I don’t want to get overloaded with it all, but it’s nice to know that there are other people going through it all at the same time as me (except I don’t have nannies waiting on stand by or a personal trainer to get me back in shape or exclusive magazine spreads). I’m just so damn fascinated with baby bumps at the moment!! Watch out!

An ever changing reality. Or WTF.

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As I enter the second trimester of (cute) alien incubation, reality is starting to dawn on me: Life will NEVER be the same again. I mean, I knew this before we went into this baby creating venture but I don’t think I really knew it until boom! Pregnancy happened!

It’s also strange seeing a different reflection in the mirror. Just as you get used to one silhouette of yourself, another one emerges – even bigger and weirder than the one before! I admit that last night I startled myself when I walked through our bathroom πŸ˜›

And don’t even ask me what’s going on with my boobal region…

Reality 1: Time to cancel the Contiki tour of Europe!

So…earlier this year we decided that we would enjoy our childless “youth”, get our arses (and savings) into gear and book a Contiki tour of Europe for August. We were going to drink our way around a few countries, hop on and off a coach, and sleep in hostel accommodation for a couple of intense weeks. YIPPEE!!!

…Now we realise that at roughly 6 months along, I might not enjoy it quite as much. Long haul flights, long days, longer nights, jet lag and a bunch of rowdy drinkers (minus me) just don’t seem so appealing anymore.

Cue a whole lot of phone calls to the people we booked it through, begging them to help us cancel the tour in a timely manner!

Of course I’m a bit sad. I was really looking forward to spreading my travel wings!

We’re hoping to get a few smaller scale, more relaxing holidays booked in before the baby comes though so I’m excited about those πŸ™‚

Reality 2: I am more self conscious of my physical appearance than I anticipated

I always thought that I would just embrace (and flaunt) my new, ever changing pregnant body. I thought that people who get body image issues while pregnant were full of nonsense – don’t they know they are so blessed to even be able to create and grow life inside them? They should shut up and get over it and love their bodies.

I still do believe that on a bunch of levels, but to be honest my brain hasn’t caught up with my body yet! I am still that girl who was working out (hard) and counting calories in order to achieve weight loss and better health! I was making amazing progress and since I went off the pill I lost 6.8kg before the pregnancy weight started to show itself!

In my quiet moments I love my body. I love my belly because it has our precious gummi bear shaped foetus in it. I love to put my hands on it and I love when Lance aka Baby Daddy kisses it and says cute things to it. I love that it means the baby is growing properly and I have always hoped for and dreamed of having a bump one day πŸ™‚

I think that my self consciousness comes from the stupidity of listening to and watching other people. People who talk about people with bigger bumps and make comments about how they must be carrying multiples or “that can’t be all baby – that has to be a whole load of junk food – you know I did see her eating a massive pizza that one time”…

Or skinny minnies who don’t show until the third trimester and unintentionally make me feel embarrassed for overtaking them already!!

Today I posted bump photos on Tumblr (which then posts to my facebook profile). It might look like I am smugly showing off every moment of my pregnancy possible, but I did it for another reason (besides the constant requests I get). I did it because it took courage. It’s embarrassing putting myself out there like that. I realised that I need to accept everything being out in the open and not be afraid of judgement – it will happen no matter who you are. It’s time to stop wasting my time thinking I look terribly huge or out of kilter with all the other yummy looking mummies to be. I can share this amazing stage of my life with the people who care about me – damn everyone else!

So you heard it here first – I will love my bump (and what it means) – no matter how it compares to others πŸ™‚

Reality 3: I am now part of a weird new club

I am now one of the Going to be Parents club. This means constant talk about pregnancy, family plans, childbirth (OH HOLY MOTHER OF…) and what to do with an actual baby once it arrives (you know – keeping it alive and stuff). I like having a whole new bunch of people to relate to (or a whole new way of relating to the people I already know), but it is a little strange!

It’s a club that I didn’t exactly sign up for so membership is going to have to grow on me! I like it but I realise how lucky I am to be a part of it. I am a little wary of becoming nothing but a baby encyclopaedia/walking talking incubator for the next 6 months. I don’t think even I could stand me. It’s the biggest thing going on in my life right now, but I want to make sure I don’t unintentionally get too self centred (other than on this blog haha).

Reality 4: I am completely and utterly clueless

I’ve planned a wedding, made travel arrangements, know how to take out a car insurance policy and have completed a university degree. I know how to create a spreadsheet, how to make cupcakes and how to change a tyre (well that’s a bit rusty). I know how to ride a bicycle, how to catch a train, how to shop online and how to buy a house!

What I do not know is how to be pregnant πŸ™‚

I had a little freak out earlier in the week about this, but some reassuring words from a couple of people made me realise that it’s all OK. It’s not like I’ve done this before – it’s just one of those steep learning curves we get in life – I’ll get it πŸ™‚

It’s OK to be Awesomely Unprepared (had to mention my blog title somewhere).

Reality 5: I haven’t been possessed with another personality just because I’m up the duff…much

Sure, my interests, conversation topics and social habits might be growing and changing over time but I am relieved to know that I am still the ridiculous person I was before I got pregnant!

I don’t know why but I feared that I would become the kind of person who suddenly refuses to eat anything that isn’t organic, starts buying matching sets of Crocs for the entire family, doesn’t use swear words in case the foetus hears/feels them, gets a bland haircut and wears 3/4 pants with floral blouses at the shops.

I don’t start crying every time I see a baby on TV (well not every time) and I still get a good laugh when I see photos of ugly babies on the internet (I’m so going to hell). I remember being quite alarmed (but mostly relieved) at about 2 months, when I saw a child running along a strip of pavement wearing a beer carton on her head (without eye holes), falling face (or box) first, then getting straight back up and running full pelt only to do it again. The stupidity made me laugh like a crazy person. I only questioned whether I was ready to be a maternal, loving mother for a couple of seconds before I started giggling again.

Lance and I have purchased a book of baby names (you should have seen us sneak into the shop looking like mischievous teenagers who were Up to Something) and have been laughing ever since. There are some ridiculous names out there. Apparently you can call your baby boy Gavril. The hubby thinks we should totally do it if we have a boy and that his middle name should be Lavigne. Gavril Lavigne. Bahahahaha. You can also call your daughter Anenome (I can’t even spell it for a start). I told Lance that if we had a son as well, we should call him Sea Cucumber. I really hope we find some nice, sensible names before the baby is born. We’re only up to the names beginning with C.

Yesterday there was a baby (a very cute and very little one) in my vicinity and I didn’t even have to hold her to be able to admire her adorableness. I am very excited about having one of my own, but I’m not suddenly crazy clucky overnight either. I’m OK with that πŸ™‚

xoxo

FAQ.

Pic: So many questions! Let me put my beanie and hipster glasses on and answer some!

So now that I’ve made my Big Announcement and people know that I’m expecting, I am already being asked all the questions that come along with a pregnancy. Right now I welcome those questions because even though I am asked them a lot, it kind of feels nice that people care about my answers (ask me again in a few months’ time).

Did you guys plan this??

We did. We decided to stop NOT trying, but to be honest other than that we didn’t do a whole lot to make it happen (besides the obvious)! I didn’t want to become some kind of temperature checking, calendar crazed, internet myth believing person so early in the piece – I know what I’m like and I would have driven myself crazy. We figured there was plenty of time for that if things didn’t happen within a year (doesn’t mean I didn’t have my occasional moments).

Just as I was starting to get a little nervous at about five or six months, we had the great news! Trust me, when people say, “Did you plan it or was it a surprise?” I really would like to say, both actually! Even when you really want it, it is a big shock to get the positive reading on your pee stick/s!

It may have been more of a shock to other people as we were very tight lipped the whole time I was off the pill and not NOT trying. We said a lot of things like, “Pffft. Kids? As if! Not even!”

You know – just to throw people off!

I didn’t want the pressure of people watching me constantly and trying to decide whether it was all happening or not. People were already on our case (married three years – no kids – what gives), so we didn’t want any more worries! I was already terrified that each pasta dish I ate (or every glass of wine I didn’t feel like) would lead to a rumour!! I concentrated on being healthy and losing weight until the big HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THAT POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST DAY (ie the 19th March).

Is your pregnancy the reason you’re not working?

It didn’t start out that way! I left my job in August 2010 because life was very tough (you might know the LONG story) and I had to make the really tough decision between developing my new career and supporting my hubby who needed a lot of care emotionally and physically (with good reason). Last year was really awful and not one I am in a hurry for us to experience ever again! I couldn’t focus at work anymore (despite usually being a really professional person) and there was a lot of stress and grief. I was glad to spend quality time with my husband and a terminally ill family member before he passed away a month later. I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I took my time with my husband – I had saved a lot of money (it was initially so we could travel) so we lived on that while he was out of work before his income insurance came through a few months later. In light of all the perspective changing stuff that had happened, I wanted to spend time with him as he was working fly in fly out (FIFO) at a remote minesite and was only home half the year. Before we knew it – the silly season had arrived – Christmas, new year, you name it.

I started looking seriously at jobs at the end of January and the field was more competitive than I remembered. I had every intention of getting a good job in my field before I got pregnant, with the idea that I would work through my pregnancy!

Pffft. Not quite how it worked out! Still, if some miracle (kind of flexible) opportunity came up right now I wouldn’t necessarily say no πŸ™‚

Have you had morning sickness?

Nope! I’ve had dizziness when I get up too fast, ridiculous fatigue (hence all the tweeting from my couch which must have had everyone wondering why I was being such a bum) and wooziness but no vom vom time – yay!

Strange cravings?

Let me tell you a secret. I’ve always been a weird cravings kind of person as it is. I go through new food phases ALL the time, so actual pregnancy cravings would be very hard to pinpoint! I have decided that I like oranges a lot though – maybe it’s a natural hankering for Vitamin C with the winter coming (don’t want some nasty colds this year)! Citrus has been the only real craving I can recognise.

I think that munging down Cookies n Cream icecream is just a symptom of me not watching my diet anymore πŸ˜›

Do you want to find out the sex?

Yes. I do. Hubby would probably be happy with a delivery room surprise, but I am kind of impatient. We’ve decided to hold off on a definitive decision until closer to my 20 week ultrasound scan.

Can we see a photo from your last ultrasound scan?

I admit to being a little weirded out by the idea of posting pictures of my insides on facebook or my blog. I find it very…intimate! I mean, that’s my frickin’ uterus, man!

However, it is pretty cool πŸ™‚

It looks so sleepy - my favourite picture.
4D - it looks like a gummy bear or something πŸ™‚

So…those are my insides at roughly 12 weeks!

Confession: I do not have a beanie or hipster glasses. I have a cute little olive green crocheted beanie (that I only wear in Tasmania on the mountain) and non hipster glasses which I pretend I don’t need. Therefore my answers may not be as profound or groundbreaking as we all imagined they would be.

*sigh*

It’s what you’ve all been waiting for…

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I know some of you have been speculating for a while now (*ahem* twitter friends) on how my life might be changing. I did suggest that perhaps I’ve had a sex change operation and that my name is now Barry or Greg or some such thing. Well, let me tell you: that was a lie. You know, in case you were actually wondering πŸ˜›

The truth is that I’ve been working on a secret project for the last three months. It’s called Project Growing a Human Baby. Yes, all you “every surprise must be pregnancy” rumour mongers might have been right…my eggo is preggo.

πŸ™‚

I have kept this secret ever since we found out in March (and when I insisted on taking a second test just to make sure the first one wasn’t broken). And let me tell you, it is reallllly hard being a pregnancy ninja. Do you know how many oversized shirt dresses I’ve purchased?! It’s been killing me keeping such a big secret!

Every time someone says, “So what’s new in your life these days?”

Every time friends give the usual ribbing at a social event, “So – when are you two gonna start popping out kids?” *wink wink nudge nudge*

Every time I turn down a glass of wine or some AMAZING looking camembert cheese in public.

Every time I look in the mirror and see that due to my short stature and natural ability to bloat up like a motherf*cker, I look so much more pregnant than I am and soon no amount of shirt dresses are gonna hide this!

Every time my pregnant friends are discussing their symptoms and life plans (that include ACTUAL HUMAN BABIES), while I sit in the background silently taking it all in and freaking out that they know SO MUCH MORE THAN ME!

Every time I’ve thought about something awesome to blog about and then realise that it won’t make sense if no-one knows about my condition.

*sigh*

So, if you’re not a clucky person or this information makes you uncomfortable, please turn away now. I’m about to get all Pregnant Woman Raving on you (what am I becoming?!!).

My due date: 25 November, 2011 (well it better be 2011 or that’s just not what I signed up for)!

Currently: 12 weeks and 2 days along.

AND I just had my 12 week ultrasound scan (brought forward a couple of days due to a little scare) where everything was said to be wonderful and perfect and there’s nothing to worry about (for now – you know – until I do something stupid like google my symptoms or start reading misinformed discussion boards on being pregnant – FYI there are SO many on the internet my head might explode).

It was pretty amazing seeing a little (alien) baby shaped um… baby making itself at home in my uterus. It looks so sleepy and settled and I didn’t realise just how much it would make my heart melt to think about it. It all definitely feels real now. Scary, exciting and real! I suppose the “scary” factor is the fear of losing it now that I fully realise what I would be losing. I hope that feeling fades (I bet it doesn’t).

I don’t know what kind of pregnant woman I will be (or continue to be) now that everyone knows. I am excited to shed the whole Pregnancy Ninja act and just be open about my life, but I want anyone to stop me if I become so obsessed that everyone who isn’t pregnant just wants to shoot me between the eyes execution style – STFU already!!!

I always thought I was a little too rebellious to deal with this whole pregnancy/impending parenthood thing. If everyone else is doing something, I don’t want to follow the crowd! It’s kind of why I took so long to see the movie Avatar and why I haven’t read the Twilight series…

The pressure from other people has been intense in the last year or so! HAVE A BABY! GET PREGNANT! HAVE A BABY! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE NO BABIES YET?! (which admittedly isn’t always tactful no matter how well meaning people are).

Of course, our decision to have children (and when to have them) has had nothing to do with anyone else’s opinions on the matter – just so you know πŸ™‚

So…I’ve gotta go now. I’ve gotta decide important things like whether or not to announce this on facebook like a smug wanker and whether it would feel appropriate to post intimate photos of my insides on tumblr. I also need to let the reality sink in that half of my wardrobe is now unwearable…that might take some time…gooooodbye sequinned, backless mini dress that I had only just lost enough weight to wear again…gooooodbyeeee (expensive and new) pretty blue mini dress that has the cool beads on it and made my legs look long…

Well, you get the idea…

Any questions/comments/unsolicited advice?
(my adorable nephew wanted to know how the babies come out of the ladies but I think if you’re able to read this you might already kind of know).

P.S. To any of my readers who might be going through fertility difficulties – I am sorry if this is hard to read – I understand xx