Category: just some thoughts

3 things that have creeped me out.

Do any particular things give you the creeps? For some people it’s clowns, for others it’s the fear that if you accidentally drive/park over a snake, it might wrap itself around the undercarriage of your car and kill you later at another location. You know, standard stuff. Seriously, the snake thing. The fear is real. Oh, that just freaks me out? Never mind…

But you get the kinds of things I’m talking about. Some are more rational than others.

Here are three things that have creeped me out recently (I’ll count them down from least creepy to most creepy like one of those horrible TV shows that count down things like the Top 20 Celebrity Meltdowns and other such topics)…

3. When there is a spider in your car and then you lose it.

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SOURCE

No joke. I had just been listening to a person calling into my fave radio station about having a major freak out because a spider appeared on her sun visor, and then it happened to me. Sure, it was a fairly small spider, but it was the kind that looked kind of meaty and threatening anyhow. Like it was one day going to grow into a bigger spider and what if it had an army of baby spiders I couldn’t see? So I tried to play it cool, grabbed a tissue (while totally concentrating on the road), went to squish it, and it did that thing. You know the thing. Where it gets scared and lets out a bit of web and starts swinging all over the place, so you freak out and throw your tissue away and the spider disappears and you have no idea where it is.

2. When you catch your husband looking at ‘realistic’ baby dolls on Gumtree and it seems hilarious at the time but you know you’re going to have nightmares later.

Yes. It happened. I threw a few images and videos onto my snapchat that night and let me tell you, some of those dolls were just creepy. Creepier than Chucky. I swear. One little boy baby doll was staring into my soul. OMG.

Anyway, here’s one of the funnier ones. Complete with me giggling like an idiot.

Yep. A baby gorilla/monkey/some kind of primate which I am shit at identifying, doll, dressed like a human baby. I think its eyes were saying, “Heeelp me. Heeeeelp me”.

Anyhow, once all the laughs were done with, I went to bed. And had nightmares about rooms full of creepy dolls.

*shudders*

I mean, I’m happy for you if fake doll babies float your boat or bring you comfort (I’ve seen the documentaries), but I am certainly (obviously) not one of those people!!!

1. Men with ‘Yellow Fever’ (especially the ones who know where you live).

Yes. This list escalated quickly.

The first incident was a while ago. Mr Unprepared organised for a tradesman to come around and give us a quote on the exterior of the house (I won’t say what the job was as I feel a stupid, twisted need to protect HIS identity). He came along and looked at the wall. And looked at me. And spoke down to me.

Then after he’d finished giving the quote, he insisted on coming into the house and sitting on the couch to show me images of his other work on his tablet because the light outside was ‘too bright’. As our couch is right inside the front door and my phone was in my hand, I let him. Even though it was fucking odd and inappropriate and I should have said no (I am totally the kind of girl who would get murdered for being polite – must work on this).

He opened his images on his iPad and a lot of them were of young (i.e. much much younger than him) women from Asia – if I’d hazard a guess I’d say Thailand or even the Phillipines. He scrolled through all of them to get to pictures of his work. By then I was super creeped out (as a youngish Korean woman). Dude, have your personal life, but that’s super unprofesh!

Then, recently, a guy came to buy a mini guitar amp I’d handed to Mr Unprepared to sell on Gumtree. Luckily I never met him, but Mr Unprepared told me how the guy let him know he’d stalked his Facebook page and saw me in his profile pic. He had noticed that I am Asian and wanted to know if I was from Thailand because he had a Thai girlfriend and he then went on about how amazing it is to go to Thailand and pick a girlfriend.

Because “All the girls…” (like they’re all interchangeable and who they are doesn’t matter – OMG)

YUCK YUCK YUCK.

Why do people share these things? And why do they think they’re in some kind of club with my husband (who does NOT have yellow fever) and think they can talk that way about women with him? Eww.

I have nothing against those who genuinely fall in love with someone who just happens to be from another race or country and go on to have beautiful, healthy relationships for the right reasons (obviously). It’s the misogynistic, racist (yes racist) guys who creep me out. The part that is the most disturbing is that they seem to think that once they’ve been involved with one Asian woman, they have some kind of ownership over the rest of us or treat us with some kind of familiarity that is waaaaay inappropriate. The entitlement to talk to me or think I’m going to want to be in their company is gross. It’s that entitlement that makes them cross all sorts of lines – I know because I’ve been to the local pubs on a Friday night enough times during my adult life.

When these morons think they know you based on a picture, it’s creepy. And when they know where you live – even worse. YUCK YUCK YUCK.

And when they’re just buying something from you, but go to the trouble to stalk your Facebook…OFF THE SCALE.

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I do realise that two out of three things on this list involve Gumtree. Interesting coincidence…haha.

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Anyway, tell me…what the hell creeps you out? 

 

How to apologise properly.

Hey, you know when a ‘celebrity’ or somebody in the public eye (do I need to mention a certain Collingwood Football club president?) kind of fucks up? They might make their employer/s look bad or offend a large segment of the population. And then there comes the seemingly forced apology.

We roll our eyes in frustration, as they ‘apologise’. We feel like they’re only apologising to save their job or their PR image. Because someone told them to. We are reminded of when children are forced to apologise for doing something naughty and they don’t want to, so they spit the words out sarcastically or spend their apology making time still talking about why the thing they did was not that bad or was someone else’s fault.

Yuck, right?

Well, I have thought a lot about what makes a good apology. Because we all screw up or put our foot in it sometimes. But it’s only truly forgivable if we really nail the apology and make solid resolutions to do better in that area moving forward.

So here are my tips for making a good apology (whether you are a normal human being or a bumbling idiot with a high profile)…

Be sincere.

This might be the hardest part. But you have got to mean it. Dig deep, swallow your pride, tap into some empathy and mean it. People see through false platitudes from a mile away. Do not try that sickening lip service bullshit and expect it to be swallowed. It’s insulting.

Take accountability.

Tell the other person/people what it is you did wrong. Own it. Do not say, “I’m sorry IF I upset you.” If??? You did, or you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. Do not put the accountability back onto the person/people you offended. Do not say, “I’m really sorry that you got upset at me.”

Because that’s like saying, “I’m not really sorry for what you think I said/did (which quite honestly I am not completely happy to cop to). I am sorry you called me on it and quite frankly maybe everyone was overreacting”.

Do not say, “I’m sorry, but…”

Don’t try to justify the thing you said/did while apologising. The ‘but’ cancels it out.

“I’m sorry but it was just a joke…”

“I’m sorry, but to be fair…”

You know the kind of thing I’m talking about.

Also, do not underestimate the use of the word, “I”. Don’t be all, “So I’m really sorry that happened to you.”

No. You should be really sorry YOU did that to the other person. It can be tempting to distance yourself from that thing you’re probably embarrassed you did, but I promise it won’t go down as well as using the word, “I” in your sentences.

Show that you understand the impact of what you did to hurt/offend someone.

Tell someone that you know why what you did was wrong and the damage/impact it caused or potentially could cause.

“I’m sorry that I joked about being violent towards a woman. It is not something to joke about. It was a damaging comment to make and a lot of people are looking to me as a public figure. I could have used my voice to speak out against the problem but I ended up being a part of the problem.”

Show genuine remorse. Not for being caught or called out. Remorse for what you did to hurt/offend someone else.

State what you will do differently moving forward. 

An apology tends to lose its credibility if the person does the same kind of thing over and over. You should mention a genuine plan or intention to do differently so you won’t have to apologise for similar screw ups ever again. How will you prevent this happening again?

Make sure you mean it, though or you could find yourself red faced again in the future!

Do not apologise with the sole intent of getting something in return.

While you may believe that both parties have contributed to a crap situation, do not apologise simply so you can skip to them making theirs. Make your apology because it needs to be made. Because it’s the right thing to do. Be true to the good person you know you are/want to be.

Other people do not owe us their forgiveness but we may owe them an apology regardless.

Disclosure: I am not perfect but I wholeheartedly try to take my own advice. It can be hard to accept that we’ve screwed up sometimes, but it’s character building to take it on the chin and do better next time. Sometimes I’m a slow learner, but I keep these tips in the back of my mind and keep working at them! They really do work in making the other person feel validated and heard.

So I hope I didn’t come across too preachy, but I got the idea for the blog post (after reading about yet another public figure making a half hearted apology for saying something dumb) and went with it hoping I’m not the only one who finds these tips useful (or wishes other people would)!

Did I cover everything? Anything else you would like to add? 

5 ways I currently don’t have my shit together.

Recently, I’ve been living with the frustration of feeling like I just don’t have my shit together. It’s just been one of those years (so far). It’s only May, but I’ve been sick twice with awful lingering colds, had surgery (currently recovering from that one), become a school mum (a test of any parent’s organisational/social skills) and have had to deal with endometriosis and secondary infertility throughout it all – all of which involves times where you’re physically and mentally stretched to your limits.

When I found Kelly Exeter’s post ‘5 ways I currently don’t have my shit together’ on her blog A Life Less Frantic, I felt really relieved. If someone who has all the inspiring advice on how to get your shit together, also has times when she feels like she doesn’t have her shit together, then maybe I’m not such a big fail after all! Nothing like the comfort of feeling less alone!

Here are the 5 ways I’ve been feeling less than on top of this life thing:

I am sick of being sick/less than at my optimum physical condition, sick of thinking about it and sick of talking about it

When I’m not at my best physically, it can be very tempting to do a lot of navel gazing. I mean, I have had a lot of time to myself having a pity party about the lack of a ‘life’ I feel like I have. I don’t want to bore everyone with the details all the time, but I also feel a responsibility to tell people what’s happening if it’s affected my ability to be present/on top of things. It’s so god damn tiresome. I’m sick of it. I feel like a big, boring wet blanket. It’s not who I am and these times do not define me, but I am well aware of the fact that if it’s all that seems to be going on with me, that perception may be out there.

I try to be positive and balance out my ‘sick/lame Kez’ stories with other stuff, but then I get annoyed that I don’t always have much else to talk about when someone asks me how I am or what I’ve been up to. Maybe I’ve been a little bit depressed (not using that term lightly) and haven’t realised.

Even writing about it still gives me the irrits. Even more than the word ‘irrits’ does!

I mean, I hate how people have way worse things going on with them and yet I feel consumed by this crap. I feel embarrassed about that and a bit pathetic.

I feel stupid at the school gate

I am a really involved, loving parent, but being a school mum does not come naturally to me (does anyone/everyone/no-one feel the same?) and I feel so awkward standing around before and after school with all the mums – even though they’re all so nice and I know they’re in the same position as me (i.e. they’re standing there too)! Sometimes I feel like I’m running late so I rush in a bit flustered. Other times, I don’t know how long to chat or when to just get the eff out of there. I’m in awe of the mums who look like they’ve got it together and are wearing actual proper ‘outfits’ and not just the first thing they found in their floordrobe that seemed OKish. It’s worse when I’ve been dealing with some physical stuff and it really challenges my ability to seem ‘all there’. I still feel like a school kid scared of breaking the rules – what am I doing there as a parent?! Who let this happen??

I am shit at committing to things

This seems to have been a big side effect of the physical stuff I’ve been dealing with (as outlined above). I seem to have lost faith in being able to say yes to something that is happening in a couple of weeks’ time and know that it’s going to actually happen. It’s like I’ve decided that I should be psychic, able to account for everything that might possibly happen between now and then. Or else just give up and say no.

So I end up not participating in my life as much as I could or flaking. I hate being a flake. I hated flaky people until I became one. Actually I still hate it. Now I just get mad at myself. I cannot apologise to people enough.

In turn, this affects my social confidence and the cycle goes round and round.

I am working on this.

I never feel like a ‘put together’ woman

Thanks to my endometriosis, I have had the skin of an awkward 14 year old for a while now. It’s a bit difficult trying to feel like a grown woman, when your skin is wildly fluctuating from dry and almost flaky to oily and filled with zits.

I feel like it’s rare that I turn up somewhere and my outfit is polished and well put together, my make up/skin looking nice/normal/age appropriate. I know that sounds really shallow, but the ritual of putting my outer self together is important to me these days. My confidence is tied up in it more than I’d like to admit. Maybe it’s a control thing. I feel like I can’t control what’s happening inside of me so I have started to become obsessed with cosmetics and nice manicures and properly styled outfits.

I did not even make the connection until I literally just typed this and it spilled out of me – Aha moment!! OMG. Note to self: revisit this!

I can’t ever exercise regularly for more than maybe a week or two at a time

I am always banging on about my Kez Gets Physical mission and while I am fairly accepting of the fact that life (and emotion haha) interrupts our best efforts at exercise and nutrition sometimes, my ability to do focused exercise is very important to me. My mental health relies on it and my physical health has so much potential that I am not able to tap into right now.

No matter how much my mind is willing to keep up a consistent lifestyle of fitness and exercise, my body has refused to cooperate. I am hoping this stuff will get easier now that I have had my surgery, but you can understand my frustration, I’m sure!

The thing is, I could dwell on how awful these things are. But I am not going to do that. I refuse. I am so ready to take life by the balls (what the hell saying is that??) and push on through. I’m a fighter and I am strong. Now that I’ve identified 5 key areas where I feel like I do not have my shit together, I can do something about them. I can’t fix it all overnight but I can take some steps that will make me feel empowered when I see progress. I have to celebrate the small wins.

I feel like recovering from last week’s surgery has been a pivotal moment for me. I’m taking this chance to start afresh. I will surely experience many more stumbling blocks moving forward (that’s life), but I feel hopeful about my future and my health for the first time in a long time and I am relieved to re-learn just how resilient my spirit is.

Here’s to always remembering that nobody ever has ALL their shit together ALL the time and not worrying so much. Here’s to not forgetting to notice what we’re getting right too! Here’s to always being able to find something we CAN do, when there are so many other things we can’t.

How are you? Do you have your shit together? What areas are you struggling with? 

I’m calling for a revolution: ASSUME THAT NOBODY IS PREGNANT UNLESS THEY TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

I’ve realised that there are so many things that I censor/defend myself about in my daily life, in case someone incorrectly thinks that I am knocked up. I am so good at it now that I hardly notice I’m doing it anymore. Because on those rare occasions I let my guard down, the questions start.

ARE YOU PREGNANT?

Actually, you could say just about anything to someone who really really really wants you to be pregnant (bless ’em) and all they’ll hear is “I’M PREGNANT!”

So I am standing up today and saying – NO MORE. From here on out, I will say whatever I want, whatever I’m feeling, without worrying about what people think. I have been through enough to know that even the opposite of pregnancy (i.e. that bloody hell that occurs each month or so) can produce symptoms similar to pregnancy symptoms – isn’t that evidence enough that we just do not know jack about someone else’s fertility status, based on a few reportings of out of context symptoms??

So where was I…from now on, I will let myself be bloated without trying to hide it (it’s real life y’all – I eat and I get PMS – what can ya do). I will laugh about the lengths I will go to in order to satisfy an obscure food craving because that’s who I am. A ridiculous lover of food. I will turn down that glass of wine because sometimes (haha probably rarely but still…) I really don’t feel like it and I’m sick of drinking just to avoid questions (I think my liver and overall health will thank me for it). I will go into a shop and buy gorgeous little baby clothes without looking over my shoulder for people who know me and might get the wrong idea – THEY’RE FOR MY RELATIVES’ OR FRIENDS’ KIDS FFS. I will nest because it brings me comfort when the whole secondary infertility thing is getting me down. AND I WILL TALK ABOUT IT IF I WANT TO. I will reminisce on my first pregnancy (in real life or on my blog) all I like, because it brings me comfort and life changing memories and has no bearing on my current situation.

If some pharmacy/supermarket check out operator I’ve never met before comments out loud on my purchase of ovulation tests (or other such items), I will not politely answer them like I always do (seriously – my lady balls shrink up and fail me every time). I will give the coldest look I can muster and I will say, “That. Is none of your business.”

I will then complain to management. And probably shop online – BUT I shouldn’t have to. Which is my point.

I will stop using disclaimers constantly of the “before you get excited, I am NOT pregnant…” variety on my blog. I shouldn’t have to explain myself. Just take my writing for what it is.

Because the thing is, if I was lucky enough to be pregnant I would not be revealing it just because someone is the first nosy person to ask. I would reveal it to my husband, my doctor, my beautiful firstborn son (but not until I knew the pregnancy was pretty safe), the grandparents, the great grandparents, the people in my extended family, my closest friends, the rest of the damn world, in that order! Nobody else gets to decide they’re above the order of things!

There are several compelling reasons not to ask someone if they’re pregnant:

  • They may have just experienced a loss, which they’re not ready to share with anyone. It can be hard for people to talk about.
  • It may not be the time or place and it isn’t up to you to decide if it is.
  • They may be feeling self conscious about their weight and you’ve just basically told them you’ve noticed they’re ‘fat’ (even if that’s not why you asked).
  • They may be dealing with infertility and congrats – you’ve just reminded them of the one thing they’d love the most but can’t have for now.
  • Don’t you think that if they wanted you to know, they would have told you already? See above for the ‘order of things’ – everyone has their own way they want it to go down.
  • A lot of people do not like to reveal they’re pregnant until they’re in the ‘safer’ zone of the second trimester. It would be really unfair to disrespect their wishes.
  • Some people choose to be child free and are sick of being made to feel like they are somehow lesser people because they don’t want to be pregnant or have children.
  • Other people might have decided that they’ve had enough children (yes sometimes ‘just the one’) and are sick of people implying that it’s not ‘normal’ of them to not want another, or assuming that every person wants more than one (or however many they have at that point). Or that everyone can even in fact have more than one.
  • They may not have even discussed the idea of children (or how many) with their partner yet (or may be dealing with some issues in their relationship which prevent them from trying), so why would they want to discuss it with a tipsy person at some dude’s birthday party (because those are the kinds of places that people tend to ask – are they not)?
  • Someone might be struggling with some other difficult, personal,  physical condition, completely unrelated to fertility.

I know this ‘asking everyone if they’re pregnant’ thing has been around since forever, and despite all the funny Facebook memes and blog rants, no-one seems to pay attention, BUT…

I urge you to consider these two things moving forward – the part where I call on you to help me with this revolutionary new way of thinking/behaving:

  1. Let’s not ask anyone if they’re pregnant (or speculate about them out loud behind their backs so it gets back to them). Let’s wait for them to tell us (or not tell us because we could be SO wrong and they might not even be pregnant or want to get pregnant). Repeat after me: It’s none of my business until they make it my business.
  2. Let’s talk about our NON pregnancy ‘symptoms’ openly (if we want to) and stop censoring ourselves or adding disclaimers. It’s someone else’s problem if they assume we’re pregnant. Let’s be rebels and let people make their assumptions (if they’re silly enough to). We know the truth and we’re allowed to share our truth. It shouldn’t be our problem if people are insensitive. We can call them on it, by saying simply “I am not pregnant.” and let them feel uncomfortable – not us. Repeat after me: It’s none of their business unless I want to make it their business.

I hope that by doing these two things, we can let women just get on with living their lives without being scrutinised. Non pregnant women should have nothing to feel embarrassed about and pregnant women who haven’t told you yet – that’s their choice. Respect it! Also, let’s not steal anyone’s thunder! It’s not our moment to take.

Are you in?!!

We all have moments where we suspect someone might be ‘with child’, but it’s how we deal with that curiosity (and excitement) that matters. I personally like to keep it inside my head, put it aside and wait. I’ve been wrong before and have never been more relieved that I did the right thing and kept it to myself!! I’d love if more people could do the same.

This post hasn’t been designed to shame anyone and I am certainly not passive-aggressively singling anyone out (so you can breathe out now haha). This is just something I know is an issue, not just for me but a lot of women deemed to be in their child bearing years. I just hope it inspires us to all move forward, looking out for one another 🙂

Have you ever been wrongly accused? Pressured like crazy to start/grow a family by well meaning people? Outed before you were ready to make an announcement? Have you ever accidentally accused someone and it was super awkward? I’d love to hear your stories – comment below or share this post! x

Taking Stock: March 2016

So I’ve decided  that it’s a good time to ‘take stock’ again. I do like the idea of capturing a snapshot of where I’m at throughout the year.

Here’s what I’m currently…

Making : No real plans for the weekend. I mean, I’ll be open to spontaneous fun if the opportunities arise, but I am really enjoying the fact that it’s a long weekend and there is currently nothing super important on our plate. Nothing we HAVE to do. Everything will be on our terms. That’s kind of lovely.
Cooking : I hope I will be at some point. I do like to get my ‘bake’ on. That sounds drug related, but no. I am just addicted to thinking about food. The cupboard might get a little bare as we streeeeetch to pay day, but I think/hope I can create some interesting things.
Drinking : I’ve been enjoying cider lately. I’d like to rediscover wine. But to be honest, not a lot of drinking has been going on lately – a good thing. I am trying to drink more water. My skin is dry and I need the feeling of cleansing my body.
Reading: No books at the moment (unless you count the Little Mister’s bedtime stories). But I have been trying to chip away at my favourite blogs. I have SO much catching up to do!
Wanting: To feel peaceful. I’ve felt fairly good in the past couple of days, but I have certainly been tested mentally and emotionally lately. I’m working on it!
Looking: At the soft light coming through the blinds as the sun rises. I’m kind of excited that it’s autumn. While I’m a summer girl, I think autumn is my favourite season.
Playing: With my Periscope app. I’ve been broadcasting for about 5 minutes a day. It’s not the most scintillating stuff but I’m having fun building my confidence at being recorded and talking to a camera. It’s also nice to document my life day by day (even if the broadcasts delete themselves after 24 hours). You can watch me embarrass myself if you like (you can access it on my Twitter timeline or on the app). Then 2 people might be watching haha.
Deciding: To be positive. To try not to dwell on the things I don’t have and remember the things I do have.
Wishing: That my dreams for my family come true.
Enjoying: Just sitting here. Being still.
Waiting: For Mr Unprepared to get home from his early morning bike ride. He has promised to look after the Little Mister this morning when he wakes – yay.
Liking: The quiet.
Wondering: If I’ll ever figure out what to watch next on Netflix. I keep thinking, “Nope. Can’t watch that – must wait for Mr Unprepared.” or I just can’t make up my mind because I think I have to be in the perfect mood for the perfect show/movie. This makes me sound like I have too much time on my hands, but quite honestly I don’t (I think it’s the pressure of having to optimise my viewing time), so you can see why this is a problem haha.
Loving: My friends. They’re so supportive and it’s nice. I used to not let myself be vulnerable or show when I wasn’t OK. I was missing out. They are more than fair-weather friends and I am so grateful.
Pondering: On where life will take me. Like, what’s the grand plan?
Considering: Overhauling the Little Mister’s old nursery. Making it into a pretty spare room. Oops. Haven’t told Mr Unprepared about that one yet haha. Look, it’s optimistic. I haven’t even made much headway on my home office reno yet. One step at a time!
Buying: Something I can’t go public with yet because I want to surprise someone and I don’t know if they read this blog. Ooh!
Watching: Trophy Kids doco on Netflix made me angry last night. The parents on there were horrible. There I said it. The way they pushed their children so hard to excel in various sports, literally pretending it was God’s plan when it was really their own agenda, made me feel horrible inside. THEY’RE CHILDREN. I am not usually one to judge other people’s parenting decisions, but I admit this one made me feel icky. 
Hoping:
Everything works out. 
Marvelling: At how I’ve managed to survive the week and the Little Mister doesn’t have to go back to kindy for aaaaages thanks to the long weekend – less drop offs and pick ups – yay!
Cringing: At Donald Trump. Need I say more. 
Needing: Self care. 
Questioning: What the hell it is I’m supposed to learn from secondary infertility. Because I believe everything happens for a reason, but I admit I’m struggling to know what the hell that reason could possibly be. Trying not to dwell on those ‘it’s not fair’ thoughts.
Smelling: My morning breath probably!
Wearing: My nightie. Because typing in bed. Winning.
Following: the posting of this blog post, I might try to go back to sleep!
Noticing: That Mr Unprepared is home and he’s always noisy!
Knowing: I’m going to be OK. I’m stronger than I often give myself credit for.
Thinking: is overrated.
Admiring: People who don’t give a fuck about what other people think. In a good way.
Sorting: My home office out. Painfully slowly. 
Getting: Sleepy again. That tends to happen by about 6:30am when I’m woken at 4:30am (happens quite regularly around here).
Bookmarking: Stuff on Facebook I never get around to reading/watching! I only just started using the ‘save this link’ function thingy. It’s good for when you don’t have time to read something but you don’t want to lose it in your feed.
Coveting: Liquid lipstick and new lip liners. There’s something about nice lippie to warm up an autumn/winter look, so that’s my goal. Nice lip stuff for the winter.
Disliking: People who are dicks. Because duh.
Opening: My heart. Because sometimes it can be tempting to shut everything down when times are hard, but I don’t want to do that.
Giggling: At Ross Noble (a hilarious comedian) the other night was just what I needed!
Feeling: Calm. This is good.
Snacking: On everything I can get my hands on because PMS.
Helping: All the time. Because mum. Wife.
Hearing: Crows making their crow noises (‘crowing’??) outside.

So…what are you doing right now? Besides reading my blog (thank you!)? x

I’m not ready (to be a school mum)!

OK, so technically I am ready in the sense that all of the booklist items have been procured and the Little Mister’s uniform is ready and all I have to do is put his name on everything. I learned about being prepared nice and early because BC (Before Child) I worked in a stationery and school supplies store and the stress the ‘last minute’ parents put themselves through was SO not worth it (and it made them into horrible monsters).

But mentally ready? Not. At. All.

As for the Little Mister – he seems nervous but glad to be a ‘big kid’ at ‘big school’ soon (we’re talking kindy for 4 year olds). He asks me questions about it all the time and he sounds so adorably naive and he thinks anything that is remotely grown up will be on offer at kindy. Like maybe he can use knives there and drink from glass tumblers and stuff. Because grown up. But he also asks if he’ll still get nap time and toys to play with.

He is also mourning the end of his time at day care – it’s started to sink in that he’s never going back (even though I started preparing him before Christmas last year). We run into his little day care buddies all the time in this small world we live in. He cries about missing one particular boy he used to play with a lot. He also misses his favourite teacher.

We’ve had little chats where I’ve told him that while it can be sad to leave a place and people that we love and know so well, as we grow up we have a chance to have new adventures and learn new things and make new friends we might love just as much. I’ve promised him that it’s OK. That as grown up as he is becoming, he is still my little kid and I will always be there for him to help guide him and explain how things work. He’s not on his own. Not yet!

All the while, I’m running a parallel shit scared commentary in my own head.

What if I’m a big fail of a school mum? What if I’m that mum that forgets stuff all the time (I seriously struggled with a couple of kindy preparation related things last year – probably me being in denial – and it really knocked my confidence)? What if I hate having to be so much more organised? Pressure’s on to get my act together! What if I am not the ideal ‘private school mum’? What if I just look like a hot bogan mess at school drop offs and pick ups and everyone else is wearing the latest active wear or corporate outfits or on point ‘mum’ clothes? What if a lot of the other mums are much more ‘proper’ than I am? I don’t even really know where to park my car. Not even kidding. I mean, there are several car parks but I have no idea which ones are for who. I never asked. HOLD ME.

Not to mention that being an ex (high school) student of that same school, I get crazy flashbacks walking in there all the time. I feel like I’m still the student. Like at any moment, I’m about to break a rule about how to wear my uniform or realise I haven’t done my homework in time or will somehow offend a teacher and get in trouble! I actually had a pretty great time there. I made great friends and the sense of community was strong. It was also a quality education that I was given. Which is why we picked the place for the Little Mister. But still. PTSD much? Haha.

How am I allowed to have a kid and send it to school? I’M NOT EVEN A GROWN UP YET AND I’M 31.

TELL ME. HOW?

I worry about whether he’ll get in trouble – not because he’s a bad kid, but because he can get a bit too excited about things. He’s very…exuberant (and strong minded). I just try to remind myself that he’s only 4. They’ll understand this. They’ll guide him. I’m sure of it. I hope?

Don’t even get me started on the first day I have to leave him there. In his little uniform. Waaaaaaaah.

Don’t get me wrong – he’ll be fine. Me? Who knows. My mum sent me a message the other day, regarding this. She told me to buy a box of tissues and used a wine glass emoji.

*gulp*

I mean, we both did fine with the day care drop off thing last year, but this just feels so much more emotional! Why is that?!

Is anyone else going to be school mum/dad for the first time this year? Have you got some experience under your belt – got any advice or reassurance to offer?? 

What feminism means to me as a parent: #endviolenceagainstwomen

I find that the older I get (and perhaps the older my son gets), the more feisty I become when it comes to gender equality. Basically, my inner feminist doesn’t let a thing get by her. I am a feminist. I want equality between genders. I feel that the bits we were born with shouldn’t be used to confine us. I look at the absolute scourge of domestic violence in our country and I just know in my heart of hearts and my brain of brains (ha – brain of brains – what a writer!) that the key to creating change and preventing the spread across generations, is to change the culture of sexism that we seem reluctant to address, and raise our children to be champions of equality and compassion for others. To break down stereotypes about gender and talk to/about each other with respect.

Here’s what feminism means to me as a parent…

Boys can be raised as feminists too. 

There is often the misconception that males cannot be feminists. WRONG! You don’t have to be a woman to be a feminist. You can champion the rights of women, whatever gender you identify as. In fact, it’s essential that both genders do this for progress to be made. I want to raise my son to fight against gender based injustices (or any social injustice really). If he has a female partner when he grows up, I want him to champion her rights and treat her with the same respect he’d expect for himself. If he is ever blessed with a daughter, I want him to raise her to believe she is more than an object or someone who is required to toe a certain line only because she’s female. If he has a son, I hope he will continue the work I am trying to do with him. I won’t tolerate archaic, sexist stereotypes and I won’t enable him so much that he equates females with existing only to cater to his needs.

Now I know that makes it sound like I am preaching to him every day and have him picketing on a front line at the tender age of 4. That’s not so. We can role model good behaviour in so many more subtle and every day ways.

Which brings me to my next point…

Parents can be powerful role models – what we say and what we do makes a difference.

How we talk around our children has such an impact. If we’re heard talking non stop about a girl’s/woman’s appearance (when it has no relevance to the discussion that we should be having), we are reducing her to nothing more. When we devalue the role of a stay at home parent. When we say that a woman is not there for her children enough because she works full time, without batting an eye lid about men who do the same. When we behave like a woman should feel guilty for every second she spends out of her child’s sight, while her husband/male partner can take time out and everyone champions his right to. When we turn a blind eye to domestic violence or sexist, abusive language instead of standing up against it and saying it has no place in our society.

When we say that a man must be ‘gay’ (used as an insult) because he doesn’t care about cars or sports. When we use derogative names for men who we don’t like, such as ‘pussy’ or ‘throwing like a girl’. When we say that something is not ‘ladylike’. When we talk about boy’s toys or girly things. When we roll our eyes and say, “Ugh. Typical man.”

When we tell a boy to ‘man up’ because he’s crying. When we tell a grown man to ‘man up’ because he’s ‘pussywhipped’. When men feel pressured to act like having a female partner they actually love and care about and respect equally is weird and should not be tolerated in social situations.

When we excuse our son’s behaviour as ‘Oh he’s just being a boy – boys will be boys’.

When we call a girl/woman a ‘troublemaker’ or ‘bossy bitch’ (and sadly MUCH MUCH WORSE) if she stands up for herself, but a man is considered ‘powerful’ or ‘commanding’ for doing the same thing.

When we laugh at dads who say they aren’t letting their daughters out of the house until they’re 30. When we talk about girls/young women as if their sexuality doesn’t belong to them, but to their fathers or other men in their lives (am I the only one who finds that creepy?). When we talk about women in the headlines who are attacked as though they brought it on themselves for being in the wrong place at the wrong time or by provoking someone, and say nothing about how the male offender was 100% responsible for their despicable actions.

When we write disgusting things online, of a sexual or threatening gender based nature…while we raise children and have partners who are listening to what we say every day.

It can be hard to push back against years of conditioning, but I am trying all the time to watch how I speak to my son, and how I speak about gender when I am in his presence.

Not embracing feminism doesn’t just confine women to a narrow stereotype and expectation of behaviour, but it hurts men/boys too.

Dads are not just babysitters (or paedophiles). 

My husband is a parent – not a babysitter. It is expected that if both of us are present and able, he must pull his weight just as I must. If he does the housework, he does not get a medal. Same goes for me. If I am not around, he covers me and vice versa. He is not ‘babysitting’ to do me a very special, exceptional favour. He is doing his job as a dad and doing it well. If I feel that perhaps the scales have been tipped a bit too far on my side with child caring duties (it happens), we talk about it and work towards restoring the balance. Just as we would if things went too far the other way. I do not just pick up the slack and let him get away with it until it just becomes the norm. Yeah, he really does not get a free ride around here haha.

I know that his relationship with the Little Mister is going to thrive and I am glad. I refuse to talk about men as babysitting their children. I refuse to insult them by acting like they’ve just found the cure for cancer when all they did was have their kid for a half a day or changed a nappy or put them to sleep. I will celebrate the men who are a proactive part of their children’s lives just as much as I celebrate amazing mums who do great things. I just won’t celebrate them MORE for doing the SAME thing a woman does for her children.

On the flipside, I also think it’s obvious we need to stop believing that every dad at the park is a paedophile. Mr Unprepared once got stared down by a woman because he took our (then) 2 year old to the park and dared to play with him and show a reasonable level of affection – a kiss on the chubby cheek. Another time, a dad we know entered a parenting room at a department store to change the dirty nappy of his very young daughter. He talked to her lovingly, wiped her clean and gave her a clean nappy – things a mum does all the time without anyone looking twice. He got dirty looks. Thinking that men who spend time nurturing and playing with their children must be freaks (or worse sexual offenders) is disgusting. It shows that we expect so little of men as fathers that anyone who actually does the right thing must have an ulterior motive? Yuck.

See what I mean about sexism harming men too?

No one gender holds the monopoly on a colour or a type of toy.

Isn’t it crazy how much power we give a couple of colours? That’s all they are. Colours. Yet some parents shrink away in fear or become enraged if their child picks up the ‘wrong’ one. I LOVE seeing little girls in blue, playing with trucks in the dirt. I think it’s great when boys want to play with baby dolls and prams (we are raising future dads – yay). What I don’t understand is why all of those things are PINK and there’s this societal ‘rule’ that it means those things are JUST FOR GIRLS. Pink is just a colour. Blue is just a colour. JUST A COLOUR.

If my son wanted to wear pink and was passionate about toys that are aggressively marketed to girls, I would let him have them. Would I feel concerned that the world isn’t ready for that? Yes. But I couldn’t crush his spirit. How would that bring change to this world and teach him that who he is and what he likes is great?

Basic life skills should be taught to all children.

Long before the Little Mister leaves my home, I will be teaching him a bunch of life skills to prepare him for life in the real world. It’s my job (and his dad’s). He won’t just know how to change a tyre or mow the lawn or use a screwdriver (insert stereotypically ‘manly’ duties here) etc. He will learn how to cook. How to iron. How to use the washing machine and dryer. He will probably have to be shipped off to my mum’s to learn how to sew (haha – I’m a big fail). He will know how to do ALL the things he needs to know to keep a home running. Same would go for if I had a daughter. She would learn ALL aspects of home keeping. Now that’s not saying that the kids will be interested or motivated in every single area, but I would like to prepare my child for an adulthood where he can survive on his own or he can bring his strengths to complement another person’s so they can live with an equal partnership around the house. There’ll be no, “Oh that’s the wife’s job” just because she’s female. And vice versa with “the husband”. For example, there are several so called ‘manly’ tasks in my skill set, even if I admittedly do not enjoy them or have to do them as often. Also, my husband is great with an iron and can cook and has no problem fixing Mt Fold-or-hang-more for me. He doesn’t always do them either, but we cover each other and the division of tasks is not based on gender. It’s based on who has the time/energy or what works best for our household routine. It plays to both our strengths and weaknesses (and what we like doing more haha). We try to complement each other. I hope the Little Mister will notice this as he grows up.

I hope that this will mean that no-one will get out of here with a sexist sense of entitlement or expectation of what should happen in a household.

BOTH genders should be raised to express their feelings healthily without violence (or threats of violence). 

In my family, violence will NEVER be the answer. To anything. Not on the playground between boys – not even if someone attacked them first. Not in our home. Not when a child is being naughty. Not between adults. Not between girls. No-one will threaten anyone with physical violence. Not online. Not even when they talk about awful people who do horrible things (“someone should break his legs for what he’s done” etc). Because logic says that violence/emotional abuse as a means to discipline or control somebody (adult or child) is idiotic. Sorry. I’ve said it. You’ve got no moral high ground when you resort to that. We can’t teach our children that we need to physically hurt or emotionally damage someone else when they ‘just aren’t getting it’ or we’re ‘having a bad day’. Using violence to ‘solve’ violence just logically seems like a stupid idea. For example, how can we raise our hands to our children, threaten to smack them to keep them in line and then expect them to abhor threats or physically controlling tactics when they are older?

And yes, I know a lot of people were smacked as children and turned out OK, but it doesn’t mean it’s a great idea. It just doesn’t make much sense to me moving forward knowing what we know now – times change.

If children grow up being told that violence or physical bullying is OK in many situations – especially as something boys/men are normally expected to partake in so that they are considered tough or ‘manly’ (for example on the playground or if a fight breaks out on a sporting field), then they will fall back on that when challenged and will lack the emotional tools to resolve conflict in a healthy way.

We can pledge to never turn a blind eye if our children show bullying behaviours. Not to be THAT parent who is in denial and thinks their child is an angel while red flags fly everywhere. We can hold ourselves and our children accountable. It can be a great learning/teaching opportunity for all.

Children of both genders should be taught that they are amazing and worthy of respect – that their unique talents and strengths should be treasured. That EVERY person deserves to feel safe – emotionally and physically. That violence is not acceptable to inflict on another and it is not something that they should accept if it happens to them. We should teach them to resolve conflict in healthy and respectful ways.

We all need to raise caring people by being caring people. Because nobody with an intact sense of empathy for others would even think to hurt somebody else so viciously as we know happens with all forms of domestic/family/online abuse.

I feel really hopeful because we all have this opportunity to start a revolution in our thinking and being – to improve our culture, with a new generation. It can start with us. I feel an absolute sense of responsibility in being a part of change for the better. I hope you will join me. 

#endviolenceagainstwomen

When tragedy strikes.

Last week, some terrible things happened – notably in Paris and Beirut. Sadly, much like the constant news we hear about shootings in the US, I fear that we’re all falling into a routine in our reactions to such awful events. It’s not that we’re desensitised (at least I hope not) but it’s very sad that we can now predict exactly how the initial aftermath will play out.

Shock and adrenaline.

We’ve all sat by our Twitter accounts and watched the live feeds as terrible news breaks. We hear rumours of terrorism. We are transfixed – we want the latest updates. People are scared and horrified. Our hearts break. The news becomes a trending topic across social media. We make sure to mention that we’re thinking of all those affected, because now that the world is seemingly so connected via the internet, it feels wrong not to acknowledge that something terrible is happening. We can’t ignore it.

Outrage.

When we hear more and more about the disgusting things that ‘terrorists’ have done, we become outraged. We want to do something. We start to show our support for those who are attacked. We change our profile photos on Facebook. We sign petitions. We share what we feel are important messages on how to navigate such horrible news. If we’re in a position to, we donate to related charities or organise to show up at certain events.

Out come the haters. The ignorance runs rife. Newsfeeds are filled with weird propaganda of scumbags who preach hate against Islam. You start to realise the true colours of people who you used to think were a little smarter than that. You feel disappointment as you start clicking ‘hide’, ‘block posts from this page’, ‘unfollow’. People become competitive and start arguments about who is more caring. We’ve all seen it.

“Oh, look at you all supporting the people in Paris. You don’t even care about what’s happening in x, y, or z every day of the year.”

“Hashtag activism is pathetic and lazy. Why aren’t you actually doing something about it?”

Politicians whose views should never be given the air time come out of the woodwork. It all starts to feel like some sort of shitshow and you despair.

Horror stories break hearts. 

As time rolls on, horrific firsthand accounts emerge from survivors. Eventually we click on a couple. We want to know what these poor people have been through. Last night I finally read some and I found myself in tears. I had to stop. It was a luxury that I could. My heart truly does go out to the people who live through events like this. You wonder if your heart can take anymore and then you wonder how people actually living through it must be feeling, if this is how you’re feeling so far away from the situation.

Waleed makes so much sense. 

Then the thing comes that we’ve been waiting for with bated breath. The awesome Waleed Aly of The Project comes through with the goods. He is always the voice of reason. He nails everything I’ve been thinking but cannot express as eloquently. Waleed is not taking any bullshit. He will smash your ignorance into smithereens if you let him. He will use facts and intelligence and wit. No-one gets out dumber. A little hope is restored.

ISIL is WeakWaleed talks about how we can stop ISIL #TheProjectTVWritten by Waleed and Tom Whitty (@twhittyer)

Posted by The Project on Monday, 16 November 2015

What can we change?

Now this is just my opinion, but here’s what I think…

We can stop judging the way other people grieve, mourn or show solidarity with the victims of such attacks. Do you really think you’re a superior person because you trolled or insulted somebody who shows compassion for other people in this world? Do you really think you’re achieving anything by dismissing their love and empathy as empty nothingness? We can educate people about the lesser known social injustices occurring around the world without shitting all over other people who show their support and sadness about something more visible. We can stop buying into racist or xenophobic rhetoric. We can speak up for love and reject hate and anger (that is what fuels such evil people to do these things – why would we think it’s going to make us better?). We can raise children who are generous, tolerant, accepting, but who also know how to critically analyse what they’re seeing and hearing every day from the media, politicians and evil ‘organisations’ who are trying to divide us. We can talk about terrorism as basic, cowardly and an extreme act of stupidity. We can be proactive when we have the opportunity. We can choose our thoughts and our tweets. Like my homeboy Waleed says, we can choose to NOT give ‘terrorists’ what they want.

We can hug the people we love extra hard each day and never let them doubt how we feel about them. We can remember what’s really important. We can send and share that love and kindness everywhere we go. Because love is contagious and it really can start at home. Anger that is directed in all the wrong places is poisonous, but love is energising.

We are all better than a handful of deplorable, awful, violent people. I believe love can win if we choose it.

 

I miss paper.

notebook-office-writing-table-large

It seems that another book store in my home town has shut down. Of course I am just assuming – they could have moved elsewhere, right? But the roller shutter is down and they were selling their shelves the other week. They wouldn’t be the first book store in the area to disappear. I suppose books are now something you buy online to be delivered, or to download electronically.

Lately, I’ve been having a real yearning for paper. It’s so weird. It just came on all of a sudden when I had a fantasy of one day reading the Little Mister (and any subsequent sibling should we be lucky enough) novels a chapter at a time, snuggled up at bed time. The way we used to read when I was young. Sure, we read him paper books now – great stories with illustrations. But there’s something about a novel. You know what I mean? The way you turn each page and hold it just so in your hands. The way it smells if it’s from the library or well read. I’ve been reading novels since I was six. SIX. That’s a long time to be enjoying books. They’re a part of my life.

Lately I have been disloyal to paperbacks. I have opted for electronic formats. Because I buy books on a whim online, rather than being able to browse through a book store (um – hello there aren’t many left). When I finally have time to read, I need to read RIGHT THEN AND THERE. It’s just easy to download something. And if Mr Unprepared is asleep, my phone or my tablet provide their own light so I don’t wake him or have to balance a torch under the covers like I did when I was a kid and I was supposed to be asleep and my mum would come in my room and blast me!

It’s probably my fault physical book stores aren’t thriving. Oops.

The other night I was in a self imposed mummy time out *ahem*. I was in my room with no electronic devices and there was no way in hell I was going back out into the fray to collect my smartphone. Sitting on the head of the bed was a book I had never got around to reading. A fat paperback. I stayed and read a chapter. It felt so good. More relaxing than reading from a bright screen.

I keep forgetting to write things down in my paper diary. I wish I had a place to store all of my friends’ addresses, birthdays and other such special details. I’d love to get an awesome journal to record my ‘Kez Gets Physical’ health journey. I would love to be that person who has a stack of gorgeous personal journals collected over a lifetime.

Sure, it’s not fantastic for decluttering purposes and I do think of the trees. But I miss paper.

I hope paper books never die. I hope the children of the future won’t all be read to every night by parents holding tablets. I mean, I’m not judging if anyone is already doing that (each to our own). I am just old fashioned and I never want to stop holding that story book and turning the pages.

Does anyone else miss paper? Is it wrong of me to want to keep reading (or writing on) trees that used to be?

Taking stock #1

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I’ve always wanted to give one of these posts a go. They seem like a great way to just take stock (funny that) and really contemplate on where I’m at in a particular moment. I never did, because I wasn’t sure where to link back to, but thanks to the gorgeous Smaggle (whose blog I totally fangirl over) I now know that Pip from Meet Me At Mikes is that lady! I don’t know how often I’ll do these, but let’s just see where it takes us, shall we?

Here’s what I’ve been doing (please note that some of these things don’t seem to follow a coherent timeline – this is because I tried to write it over the course of a whole afternoon/evening – #mumlife hey?)…

Making : Time to declutter my home. It is my favourite time of the week. When the Little Mister is at day care and Mr Unprepared is at work. It’s just me, making decisions that will get my home looking freaking amazing (and more organised) when I’m done!
Cooking : Tonight it’s chicken minestrone soup! Light, but hearty. Perfect.
Drinking : Water. I’ve been neglecting my intake lately. Must try harder!
Reading: Blogs. I love me some blog catch up time.
Wanting: Spring weather! Winter? I am DONE!
Looking: At my sneakers sitting on the ground. I was going to work out when I got home from work (I was all dressed for it and everything) but then I kicked them off and started farting around with my blog. Not literally farting. Just to clarify. Oops.
Playing: An old true crime show called FBI Files on Netflix (I always half watch it while I work). It’s full of crappy re-enactments and dramatic music. I’m a sucker for that stuff. The reason I half watch it is so the grisly details only half sink in (to protect me from freaking out even though I’m deeply fascinated in that stuff). I’m funny like that.
Deciding: On how to best tackle the overhaul of my future lady cave. I have some great new ideas and I can’t wait to get started!
Wishing: To expand our little family. It hasn’t been working out like we’d originally hoped, but one day we hope to give the Little Mister a sibling. Until then, don’t even bother looking at my belly or making dumb remarks. I’ll cut a bitch. I WILL! Well, I won’t. But I’ll be VERY unimpressed and I might even tell you (complete with stink eye).
Enjoying: Work. It was a bit tedious today, but I love getting myself nice and busy with non housewife/mummy stuff. It reminds me that I’m so many things and that my brain still works!
Waiting: For my new glasses to arrive. I picked out new frames and the two week wait feels like forever! I get excited about nerdy things haha.
Liking: The prospect of baking tomorrow. Cupcakes for a couple of special occasions on the weekend! 🙂
Wondering: When life will quiet down again. HA! NEVER! Still, I’ll wonder forever haha.
Loving: Those precious few hours after the Little Mister’s bed time. When everything is quiet.
Pondering: That whole ‘love languages’ caper. I think they’re really onto something.
Considering: All the different ways I can offload the ridiculous volume of books and CDs from my home.
Buying: A beautiful desk for my future lady cave. From my brother who is moving away. I’m going to DIY it a little (spray the legs white) and it’s going to be BEAUTIFUL! Bargain! Thanks, bro!
Watching: The Little Mister as he sits in his little couch fort watching Curious George after a big day at ‘school’ (day care). 
Hoping: That the weekend runs smoothly (despite being very very busy) and that I won’t want to kill anyone by the end of it. Also, that Mr Unprepared has a great birthday on Sunday.
Marvelling: At how the zit that is under the surface of my chin has been sitting there for like a week, without ever coming to a head. Gross.
Cringing: At the fact that I just gave way too much information about my chin zit.
Needing: Hugs. A peaceful mind. Energy.
Questioning: Why women’s sport is not celebrated the same way men’s sport is in this country. We won the Ashes in the cricket. We became netball world champs (again). We have been playing Aussie Rules footy for 100 years and only just televised a game last weekend. WTF. That’s the current bee in my bonnet. Check in next week and see what I’ll be questioning next!!
Smelling: The soup we had for dinner.
Wearing: My work out gear. Even though I never worked out. Despite my best intentions. I annoy myself.
Following: Dave’s sugar quitting journey on Big Kid Little Kid. Even though I have no intention of quitting sugar completely at the moment, I love his approach. His vlogs are so brutally honest and hysterical and even a little inspiring (whether you’re on the bandwagon or not). Fantastic stuff.
Noticing: That I haven’t wiped the grotty coffee table down, despite my best intentions today. Oops!
Knowing: That Home and Away goes for an hour tonight makes my little closet Home and Away watching heart so happy.
Thinking: Tomorrow is Friday. YAY!
Admiring: A lot of my friends’ cute new hair cuts. I can’t wait to decide on something I want and find a hairdresser I trust to make me look cute for spring!
Sorting: My diary. I have dates swimming around in my head and I need to get them all onto paper. Only way to stop the overwhelm.
Getting: A headache. Probably the not enough water thing.
Bookmarking: The ‘taking stock‘ link so I can do it again one day!
Coveting: Little filing cabinets just like my mum and my brother have. I must find some of my own! I think they’re from Freedom and I’m praying they still sell them. They’re exactly what I’ve been looking for and they had some right under my nose the whole time!
Disliking: That I’m not exercising as much as I could be. I need a big kick up the backside!
Opening: My mouth. And yawning!
Giggling: A sound I will never tire of hearing from the Little Mister.
Feeling: Like I’m fighting off another cold. I will succeed!!
Snacking: I’m probably not snacking enough. I tend to go too long between feeds and then overindulge. I should probably work on that.
Helping: Hugs from Mr Unprepared tonight are helping my anxiety (I have little flare ups).
Hearing: Criminal Minds on the TV. Yeah. I clearly have a thing for FBI themed shows.

Anyway, that’s enough riveting information about me for now! I hope I can look back on this one day and remember an exact moment in time. Kind of like reflecting on that ‘on this day’ app on Facebook. I love stuff like that.

If you want to do this yourself, here’s a blank slate for you to copy and paste to your own blog (or in the comments if you like)!

Making :
Cooking :
Drinking :
Reading:
Wanting:
Looking:
Playing:
Deciding:
Wishing:
Enjoying:
Waiting:
Liking:
Wondering:
Loving:
Pondering:
Considering:
Buying:
Watching:
Hoping:
Marvelling:
Cringing:
Needing:
Questioning:
Smelling:
Wearing:
Following:
Noticing:
Knowing:
Thinking:
Admiring:
Sorting:
Getting:
Bookmarking:
Coveting:
Disliking:
Opening:
Giggling:
Feeling:
Snacking:
Helping:
Hearing:

Catch ya later, babes! x