The countdown is on. In 3 sleeps (I count everything in ‘sleeps’ because I have a four year old and to be honest I am kind of immature when it comes to EXCITING THINGS anyhow), I am going to be on my way to Sydney for what has accidentally become my annual birthday getaway (this being only the second time)! I will be travelling with my parents (who practically live there anyway), sleeping on the fold out couch and shopping, socialising, drinking and eating.
I am going for what will essentially be a long weekend. I can’t wait. It’s not long enough away that I start to feel guilty, but it’s long enough (and far enough away) that I can forget a bunch of responsibilities and just relax/have fun as an individual entity. YES!
This morning my mum called me and asked, “So, are you all packed for Sydney yet?”
And we laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.
Because it’s me we’re talking about. I mean, come on. Packing is not my forte. I am neither organised nor timely.
It always works out in the end, though. Right? Kind of?
I thought I’d put together some tips so you too can be as awful at packing as I am…
- Pack at the last minute. I mean it. Put it off for as long as you can. Become distracted by ‘life’. And by ‘life’, I mean the internet and agreeing to countless social interactions that steal away the time that you could be packing. I’m serious. Fill those little moments of ‘free’ time and pack them tight with other shit to do. Before you know it you’ll be packing in a panicked frenzy at some weird hour the night before. Because people in a panicked frenzy know how to GSD (Get Shit Done).
- Realise that you need to wash all of the clothes you might bring, because right now they’re just lying unwashed in your floordrobe (because domestic goddess – obvs). Pray that everything will dry before your flight leaves. Also pray that the mental list you’ve made of the stuff you’ve washed and need to pack won’t fail you when you’re in the aforementioned panicked frenzy.
- Put absolutely everything you could ever possibly need in your suitcase. I mean it. EVERYTHING. Umbrellas, raincoats, summer clothes, winter clothes, activewear, swimming gear, a beach towel, clothes you can wear when you feel fat, clothes you can wear when you’re feeling skinny, party dresses, 10 times more of the daggy underwear that you actually need because who knows what could happen (seriously – WTF), every pair of shoes. You get the idea. I mean, while you’re away you just never know. You might need that dress you haven’t even worn in 3 years.
- Take a few things out. At some point, you’ll realise you are being ridiculous and you’ll start to google the airline’s baggage weight limit. So you’ll take out a few things. You know, so you can close the suitcase. Sure, you’re only going for a weekend. But it’s always good to be prepared. Like I said; anything could happen! Remember NOT to leave room to bring home any stuff you buy while you’re away. That’s what the fucking unzippable suitcase expander is for, people. Keep up.
- Don’t ever nail the packing of your toiletries. Where’s the fun in that? The whole point of going away is so that you feel a sense of adventure and fun. If you replicate your exact toiletry products/routines from home, then you’re just not living. Try to get out of your comfort zone. Forget your razor so by the time you realise you have super hairy legs, it’s after hours in a city you haven’t been in for a while. Because you don’t have your own transport, you’ll need your parents (yes – you are a grown person) to drive you around in their rental car until you find what you need at a dodgy 7/11 kind of place. You could also mix things up a bit by packing two bottles of conditioner, instead of one shampoo bottle and one conditioner like a normal person. You should use the tiny bottle of shampoo at the hotel. Ration that stuff out for like 4 days. It will feel like you’re Bear Grylls in the wild, surviving off whatever you can find. SENSE OF ADVENTURE.
If anything, these adult fails will give you a sense of childlike escape from all that awaits you at home when you get back in a few days. I’m doing you a favour.
Is anyone else out there as
good bad at packing as I am? Do you love it or hate it? Have you ever had an epic packing fail?