Author: kezunprepared

Taking Stock: March 2017

It’s March already. What the hell. It’s shaping up to be a crazy month and quite honestly, the name ‘Awesomely Unprepared’ has never fit me so well as it does now. It’s time to take stock and capture this moment in time!

Making: The most of the little time I have right now before the Little Mister wakes up for the day.

Cooking: All the ‘sometimes’ foods more than sometimes. Must try harder to keep my diet (not ‘diet’ as in fad diet – ‘diet’ as in nutritional intake) on track.

Drinking: More water.

Reading: Amy Schumer’s book. STILL. OK, so not really actively reading it. BUT I WILL FINISH IT.

Wanting: Our journey with secondary infertility to end as soon as possible, please. I have told myself that 2017 is our year and I really really hope I’m not wrong.

Looking: at my computer. Because I’m blogging. Duh.

Playing: all my favourite music on Spotify on the drive home (alone) from the city on Friday was the perfect treat. I don’t usually do it because it eats up some data (I can’t download the songs to my phone because it’s chockers and has no memory available), but it was worth it. I don’t usually use much data anyway, so I think I’ll do this more as I’ll be up and down to the city a lot this month. When my data’s low, I’ll play all the podcasts I never get to listen to! It will be my version of me-time!

Deciding: on things and owning those decisions without doubting myself or caring too much about what other people will think is easier said than done but I’m working on it.

Wishing: I didn’t constantly feel like I’m fighting off a cold.

Enjoying: a very low key long weekend, socially.

Waiting: for new seasons of Catfish and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I know. It’s sad of me.

Liking: the fact that on this public holiday Monday, I haven’t had to worry about getting the Little Mister to school. A reprieve!

Wondering: why the Little Mister is up so early. I just heard his bedroom door. I know he’ll be good and stay in his room but that’s weird, anyhow.

Loving: my sleep lately. I’m not getting enough (7 hours or less on average) but I’m falling asleep nice and early without spending hours lying in bed waiting for the Zzzs to come.

Pondering: a lot of things. Because over thinker.

Considering: what I want to do with my day.

Buying: a new dress for a wedding soon. I do not know for sure if I’ll make it to the wedding, but damn it, I’m buying the outfit anyway.

Watching: a lot of Ellen lately. I’ve become a cliched housewife. I watch Ellen when I need to be cheered up. I have heaps of episodes saved onto my DVR to watch at any time haha. 

Hoping: So much hoping.

Marvelling: at my resilience. That makes me sound up myself, but sometimes I just don’t know how I keep getting up again and again. I’m glad I do.

Cringing: at the last couple of days and my emotional rollercoaster.

Needing: more alone time. I’m just feeling so greedy for it lately. I’ve already got it fairly good, but I’m craving prolonged solitude!

Questioning: my own judgement. Seems to be a theme with me at the moment.

Smelling: Nothing. My nose has been a bit stuffy.

Wearing: an old singlet that I’ve loved so much over the years, the fabric has taken on a PJ like quality so now I just wear it to bed anyhow.

Following: every Facebook article about Married at First Sight. I’m disgusted with myself haha.

Noticing: a new pimple on my jawline. Lucky me.

Knowing: when to follow your head vs your heart is really tricky.

Thinking: about my life, my relationships, the future.

Admiring: People who have survived struggles similar to mine. Makes me feel like I’m not alone and that there’s hope.

Sorting: the junk in my spare room is a task that haunts me. It’s always the first thing to drop off the priority list when life gets busy. GAH!

Getting: out of bed today will be hard to do. I’m so comfy.

Bookmarking: the result of personality type quiz I did. Apparently I’m an ENFP? I am not 100% sure that completely nails who I am but I want to read over it a lot more and think about it!

Coveting: ALL THE CLOTHES. I’ve only recently discovered that I like clothes shopping again. Now I want all the things that make me feel good. Party clothes, casual clothes, activewear, autumn winter stuff – basically every damn thing haha.

Disliking: the fact that I often chicken out of wearing a bright lipstick. I rock those bright colours and I should stop worrying that it’s ‘too much’.

Opening: the new app I got to track my food (it’s like a visual food diary). It’s called ‘Ate’ (in case you’re interested) and you take a photo of everything you eat or drink and decide whether this food is going to help you with your health goals or not. I think it’s going to be very interesting in keeping me accountable! Note: yesterday I was literally 0% on track hahaha. OOPS.

Giggling: at just about everything on Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been my nightly therapy. Don’t you just love when a TV show nails your exact sense of humour?

Feeling: a bit crappy. But OK.

Snacking: has been an issue for me this weekend. I must remember to only eat when I’m genuinely hungry!!

Helping: the Little Mister under the covers for a morning snuggle makes me happy.

Hearing: the Little Mister nagging me for breakfast!


What have you been up to lately?

The Happy List #48

Hello! How are you? It’s been a little while since I wrote a Happy List and I thought there was no time like the present to bust one out! Now and then, I like to take a moment to blog about the things that have made me happy recently. It helps me to focus on the positives and record good memories!

Here are the things that have made the list this time…

My mums’ group

A lot of us got together to celebrate a member’s milestone birthday on the weekend. Things got a bit crazy, but gosh it made me so happy to be with my girls. I still marvel at the fact that we were only brought together because we just happened to have babies at the same time of year in the same place. We are all so different, yet our friendships have survived over 5 years (and counting)! We have supported each other, laughed and drank a bit too much wine together, loved each other’s children like family and waited for each other when we’ve been a little AWOL with the busyness or stresses of life.

I’m so grateful to have such weirdos to be a weirdo with.

Drinking more water

I was really annoying myself because I was struggling to drink enough water to stay properly hydrated (and to help my skin and my metabolism). I’d tell myself I’d do better each day, but then get to the end of the day and realise I’d only had maybe one and a half glasses all day (and we’ve had some hot weather). Anyway, I finally addressed this issue in the most ridiculously simple way: I bought myself a new water bottle. One that my son is not allowed to backwash into. One that ensures that wherever I am, I have filtered water (it has a built in filter). Something I can take everywhere and not end up with 394 half empty store bought water bottles rolling around in my car (*ahem*). Since then, I have definitely upped my water intake and this makes me really happy.

Discovering CC cream

I’ve always given BB cream a red hot go, but I never quite found The One. A while back I was looking for a good green concealer (to disguise redness from blemishes), but the shop lady may have got a bit confused and sold me a CC cream (Loreal Nude Magique if you must know). I never really thought about it, and occasionally used it as more of a spot treatment, thinking the consistency was so not what I was after. I was obviously not paying attention to the fact that it clearly says CC cream on the tube. Recently, I was all like, WHAT? I CAN PUT THIS ALL OVER MY FACE? And then I did. And I’ll never look back. It might be a shit ‘concealer’ but it’s a friggin’ awesome light foundation! I don’t normally rave about specific products (beauty blogger I am not haha), but this one is a game changer! It starts green and it blends to match my skin tone EXACTLY. WTF. Amazing. It’s quick to apply. Not too heavy (but not too sheer either). Perfect for trying to not look like the undead for school drop off and pick up, with that ‘effortless’ ‘no make up’ make up look!

Not being sick anymore

I was sick on and off (mostly on) since the 8th of February. I know. You’ve got to be shitting me. Two days ago, I woke up and I actually didn’t feel like I was dying. There was no sinus pain. No headaches. No painful throat. Far less of an urge to cough. I was so relieved because it was really getting me down! I’d kind of pinned February as my month to be a healthy living machine and when it held me back I got really frustrated. I can’t wait to feel really strong and energetic again (before life’s next curveballs come at me)!

Having a home printer that works!

It’s not a major thing but not having one was really inconvenient (in a first world problems kinda way)! Our old printer refused to work – especially the wifi function. The technology seemed to have aged out and it did not want to play! I would have to go to my mum’s to print and scan everything. It was a bit ridiculous. Mr Unprepared and I managed to pick up a good-but-cheapie the other day and now I feel so relieved knowing it’s sitting there, waiting for me to scan/print something at any given moment that it’s required! Finally! I don’t know why I put it off so long – actually I do. I kept thinking that until I had my home office up and running (although it still needs a few things), I wouldn’t buy anything else to clutter up the house.

Always dream big, people. Haha.

Other stuff that has made me happy:

  • Watching trashy TV. Married at First Sight, anyone?
  • The outfit I wore on Saturday night – it made me feel almost skinny and I felt on trend (a big deal these days haha) and I felt pretty. Definitely a keeper (and I got it for $20)!
  • Watching the Oscars live while blogging.
  • Making a movie date with my mum to see Lion some time this week.
  • Hangover food on Sunday. No regrets!
  • My new activewear shorts. And the fact that I am finally starting to feel comfortable in shorts again after a long hiatus.
  • Getting our summer weather back (even though it’s Autumn in a few days – eek).
  • Avocado. Because it’s avocado.

What’s been making you happy lately? Tell me! 

Kez Gets Physical: Non Scale Victories.

Oh boy. I felt a bit embarrassed by my huge proclamation of how amazing everything was going to go with my healthy living habits once school returned for term 1 this year. Because it hasn’t exactly gone to plan! The first week was stressful – I (along with Mr Unprepared) had a very important (in)fertility appointment the day before school went back and the Little Mister then had staggered starts to his pre-primary career (it’s his first year of full time school). This led to both comfort eating and me just not getting my head around the fact that the holidays were over! The routine wasn’t fully in place yet!

Week 2, I was really excited. I’d been waiting for the school term to kick in properly and I was quite motivated! Which of course was a great time to come down with a throat infection. My diet wasn’t totally terrible but it wasn’t amazing. I was exhausted. I was on cold and flu tablets. I was just surviving – not much exercise for me!

So, week 3… It started pretty well! Walks with my OG MG (that’s me trying to be like a cool kid but being a really lame parent while describing my original mothers’ group from when the Little Mister was born). Time on the treadmill. Better organised meals etc.

After that, I got sick again. Or maybe my original sickness never truly left me. GAH.

But then I realised that the numbers on the scale are definitely (thankfully) not everything! I have had some great non scale victories lately and I should celebrate those!

A funny little hollow in the middle of my back

I’m a bit weird. I don’t measure myself, but occasionally I’ll discover something new about my body. Like I’ll literally stumble across a part of my body with my eyes/hands and think, “oh that’s different”. Today I felt a little hollow in my lower back. A little dip near my spine that didn’t used to be there. At first I thought maybe I was actually getting fatter as the fat on my sides seemed more accentuated thanks to this little hollowed area. Then I realised that I can feel my spine more. Like I can tell I’ve lost a few layers of fat in that area.

I’ve been self conscious of my back fat, so this was really encouraging! I hope to get back that lovely thing that happens when you’re in shape and your back curves in nicely and your butt becomes more defined! Right now I sometimes feel like I have one big back-butt LOL. I mean, I look normal enough in clothes, but I would love to see that change when I’m in my birthday suit.

My mum noticed I’ve ‘lost weight’

I hadn’t seen my mum for maybe a month (she was interstate for a bit) and when we got together she said I’m looking good and like I’ve lost weight! This was a really really great thing to hear because I know I can be really self critical and I can always trust her to be brutally honest if need be. So when my mum says it, I know she means it. While the scales might not say I’ve lost weight since Christmas, I must have stayed a bit more toned or have lost some fat. Awesome!

My dad said he could see a change!

So I love my dad, right, but ask my mum and she will tell you he can be a little slower to catch on if you get a hair cut or new glasses etc haha. When he said to me that he could see a difference this past weekend, I was over the moon!

I’ve dropped a dress size or two! 

It’s taken me a while to get here, but I’ve finally accepted myself as being two smaller sizes* in everything except pants (they’ve always been my worst enemy apart from that one time I was too skinny in year 11). I was busting out of my old size in dresses or t-shirts and now I find myself reaching for a smaller size and fitting into cute dresses that actually suit my height (i.e. short arse)! I am one size smaller in jeans and there’s a little muffin top, but it could be considered a good fit (any bigger and I’d have a pouchy crotch area – nobody wants that).

Recently, I’ve found myself enjoying clothes again. Feeling reassured that something will fit when I try it on – the only question after that is whether the style flatters me. I remember despairing at trying on larger items to find nothing really fit OR flattered, as being a shorty, going a size up was not going to work without a lot of alterations in dresses etc. I’d somehow become used to that.

Last week I tried some things on, on a whim. I have a couple of special occasions coming up and I just wanted to see what was out there. I was consistently two sizes down in every store (you know how those damn sizes always vary from label to label). That felt amazing! I had so many more options than I used to. I can only hope this gets easier and easier as I continue to head towards my goal weight and tone up a lot more!

My legs

I’ve started really playing with the incline settings on my treadmill. This seems to have made a difference in my legs! They seem a bit more toned and I like how my ankles seem to be a bit more defined! My legs haven’t chafed during exercise in a while either (although we’re still very much in mermaid thigh territory – not necessarily a bad thing – what’s the point in a thigh gap anyway)!


I’ve still got to work harder at getting back on track, but I am being as kind to myself as possible. This term of school is a little lot more disruptive in nature than I might have originally anticipated. Just wanted to touch base, keep it real, and also remind myself that there’s more to being healthy than numbers on the scales. Thank goodness!

I may sometimes feel like I’m just headed nowhere (there’s nothing worse than being sick and unable to be proactive about exercise), but these things have kept me feeling encouraged about the changes I have been able to make. I’ll just keep plugging along!

Have you had any non scale victories recently?

 

*You might wonder why I haven’t mentioned my specific dress size. It’s because I don’t want to put any attitudes out there that certain sizes are something to be ashamed of or should be ideal. They simply did/didn’t work for me. One size can look very different on every woman!

 

Things I could do instead of being on hold.

Today I had to make some phone calls that I was dreading. Not just because I sometimes get tongue tied on the phone with strangers (didn’t happen today – a miracle!), but because I hate being put on hold. HATE IT. I mean, does anyone actually like it?? That music (or more accurately muzak). Those patronising messages every 5 minutes about how the service provider is thankful that I am waiting and that they appreciate my call and that I am in a long queue – thanks for being patient (when I have no choice). Yuck yuck yuck.

I got off lightly because in total, I was only on hold for 40 minutes. I had predicted that I would be waiting that long (or longer) for only one call to be answered. Still, it got me thinking about all of the things I could do instead of being on hold and, for those collective 40 minutes, I realised that I had taken for granted all of the other 40 minute blocks of time I’ve had in my life where I wasn’t on hold and what I could do with that time to make my life more enjoyable! I’m only half joking.

I thought about doing these things at the same time as being on hold, but that muzak made me feel stabby and I couldn’t think straight with it on in the background or hear anything else haha.

15 minutes

  • Program my DVR for the entire week – because that stuff takes time (priorities!)
  • Listen to around 5 pop songs (at about 3 minutes in length each)
  • Drive from my house into the centre of my home town to do more enjoyable stuff
  • Put on a pore strip and then remove it and stare at it for about 5 minutes (because that’s the fun part)
  • Write this little list of things I could do in 15 minutes while on hold (taking lengthy pauses to think in between ideas)

30 minutes

  • Give myself a decent manicure using normal nail polish – taking time to let two coats dry
  • Watch an episode of Home and Away from the night before (including the ads)
  • Do a Couch to 5 K work out on the treadmill
  • Walk to the beach from my house at a leisurely pace (because being at the beach is heaps better than being on hold)
  • Read a chapter of Amy Schumer’s book

40 minutes

  • Watch an episode of anything involving the Kardashians (without ads)
  • Have a nap – you can fit a whole sleep cycle into 40 minutes and actually wake up feeling better!
  • Complete an entire week’s online grocery shop
  • Write an entire blog post
  • Clean half my house

Bonus list – gun to my head – what I would pick over being on hold for 40 minutes:

  • Watching 8 episodes of Peppa Pig
  • Ironing around 13 work shirts for my husband (keep in mind that I don’t iron if I can get away with it and I don’t iron his stuff especially haha)
  • Asking my child to find his shoes because we’re going out (hahaha – I swear it probably takes that long for us to argue about it and for him to find them)
  • Waiting in line anywhere. OK, so that almost comes in at a tie but at least I can people watch and entertain my inner judgy bitch
  • Writing up the monthly family budget and paying all the bills – YUCK. BUT STILL LESS YUCK THAN BEING ON HOLD.

What’s the longest you’ve ever been on hold for? I bet there’s some great Centrelink personal bests out there!

 

Kez Gets Physical: Term 1, 2017!

Oh my goodness. As I type this, the Little Mister is having his first day of pre-primary. His first year of full time school is beginning (although he’s only attending two days this week). I have just spent a few minutes walking around my house in awe of the silence. It’s kind of nice being able to move freely without having my every move questioned and being nagged while I’m in the toilet – the last couple of weeks of the holidays damn near broke me haha.

So. Term 1 has begun for the Unprepared household and that means it’s time for me to kick my arse into gear with my Kez Gets Physical routine. Basically, I commit myself to making good nutritional and exercise choices for a whole school term at a time – no excuses, no ‘cheat’ breaks (unless I literally cannot make a better choice in the environment I’m in – or it’s the first day of my shark week – because that’s a given).

I eat low carb, no junk (i.e. confectionary, desserts, overly processed foods, snacks I don’t need etc).

I did this for the first time in the last school term of 2016 and it went swimmingly! I am so proud. I lost some weight that I hadn’t shifted in the longest time (we’re talking years) and I challenged my own self defeated belief that I would never be able to do it. I even enjoyed it! Which was a pleasant shock to me!

Throughout the summer holidays, I relaxed this regime so I could take part in the festive fun without worrying too much. I became addicted to carbs and sugar again and I struggled to exercise regularly due to fatigue or logistics. BUT…because of the good work I’d done beforehand, I managed to maintain a 4kg weight loss that I’d achieved (I initially lost more than 5kg but I think I got off very lightly compared to usual). YES!

I felt better in my clothes throughout the summer and I even wore my bathers (without boardshorts!!!) publicly without any cover ups quite a few times! I am still no Sports Illustrated model, but I love the confidence I gained – more important than the number on the scales. I felt better – lighter (both metaphorically and literally) and more happy inside myself.

I don’t ever want to lose that feeling!

Also, while I don’t have any actual figures to back me up, I swear I saved SO much money last term just by eating right and saying no to the ‘naughty’ extras. Who knew this could be good for the budget?

So here I am again.

Term 1 will be interesting to say the least. I may have to go through some challenging medical procedures (on a secondary infertility journey right now if you’re not familiar with my story yet) and there is also a short interstate family holiday planned, which may throw some hurdles my way, but I will definitely do my best to live healthily and be active when I can.

Now that the Little Mister will be at school full time, I will have more time to balance exercise, work and the stuff I need to get done at home. Yay!

I have 4.8kg to lose, before I reach my goal weight (something that is achievable and within a healthy BMI range etc). I’d love to knock off some more kilos before the end of the term. This would be incredibly exciting as I’d be pushing through some plateaus and making some great progress. I will be so excited when my body fat % is in the 20s again (I’m so close)!

I admit I almost caved and ate some crap today. My body wants everything that is made out of potatoes right now. Not gonna lie. But I’m going to push on through and start how I plan to continue! It gets easier every day and I always feel better (mentally and physically) for it.

I love that I’ve proved to myself that I don’t need fad diets or crazy expensive nutrition and exercise plans to lose weight and feel better. I can’t wait to get back into it.

Are you working hard on making healthy choices right now too? What good habits do you swear by?

You can follow my progress with the hashtag #kezgetsphysical on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook ??

Mood boosting music.

I know I probably sound like a broken record, but END OF SCHOOL HOLIDAYS – AM I RIGHT? I am trying to find anything I can to keep myself limping to the finish line! I love love love my kid and for the most part we’ve had a lot of fun together since school broke up, but I am tired, I can’t remember when I last had any decent time alone in the quiet and I’ve started to fantasise about doing impossible things like getting my nails done, having a hair appointment (something I rarely do even during the school term), going to the toilet without anyone panicking that I’ve fallen off the face of the earth, time to work out alone, a sleep in, watching TV shows/movies that are rated higher than ‘G’ (yes I have night time to binge but you see I fall asleep so early ?) … you know, ridiculously lofty ideas like that.

I know I’m probably the biggest first world problems whinger right now. I know my life is objectively quite good. So many people have it worse/harder. But I’m betting I’m not alone!! The struggle is real!

Anyhow, one thing that doesn’t cost anything (and may or may not even temporarily drown out the sounds of whining child/ren) is music. I don’t have to be alone to listen to most of it (hastily skips over the cuss heavy songs before my child realises). It motivates me. It lifts my mood. Gives me an energy boost. Hey, sometimes I even get a mini (not really anything close to a real) work out from dancing around the kitchen like a dickhead. My kid doesn’t mind it. YES.

I have thought about which songs never fail to make me feel better when I’m feeling flat or frustrated.

Here are the ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Bliss and Eso – Addicted (language warning)

Macklemore – Can’t Hold Us

The Little Mister calls this song the “Can Holders” song. He thought it was about can holders! What are can holders anyway? Things that hold cans, I guess?

Lion Babe – Impossible

Wombats – Let’s Dance to Joy Division

The line “Let’s dance to Joy Division, and celebrate the irony, everything is going wrong, but we’re so happy…” always makes me grin. Because if everything’s going to shit, you can still dance and take the piss out of yourself and hopefully one day laugh about it.

Sia – Cheap Thrills

Not only is Sia a freakin’ genius, playing this song when I’m feeling a bit strapped for cash makes me feel better LOL.

Drapht – Dancin’ John Doe

Illy – Catch 22


A while ago, I asked my friggin’ amazing Facebook followers for their fail-proof mood boosters and here were their suggestions:

  • The Darkness – I believe in a thing called love
  • Justin Timberlake – Can’t stop the feeling
  • Pharrell Williams – Happy
  • Seth Sentry – Vacation
  • Katrina and the Waves – Walking on sunshine

So there you have it. A ready to go playlist! Hope some of these songs boost your mood too!

Anything you’d like to add? 

Back to School anxiety: mine, not his.

It’s January. That time when it sinks in that the school holidays are not as long as you thought they were and you feel that downward slide back to reality. Another school year, filled with trying to remember stuff and being on time for drop offs and pick ups and SO MANY LUNCHES to be made.

I am looking forward to the Little Mister attending pre-primary full time. I imagine the first few weeks will be full of exhausted after school meltdowns, but I am excited to be able to spread my work hours out over the week more evenly and feel a lot more productive.

The thing is, I get anxious. Anxious that he will fit in and do OK compared to the other kids. Anxious that he’ll be anxious. Anxious that I will forget a whole lot of stuff or be totally awkward in the lead up to the first day back – book lists and the dreaded uniform shop visits (I swear I can never remember what hours or days they’re open).

I know it won’t be as bad as last year. Last year I was a wreck. The Little Mister was starting kindy at the same place I went to high school. I was having all kinds of flashbacks to my time there (nothing horrendous or obviously we wouldn’t send him there – just freak outs because I felt like I was still the student trying to be on my best behaviour and not get in trouble haha). I had never sent a kid to school before. I felt like I was still a kid. How was this happening?! Sure, we’d done day care a couple of days a week in 2015, but this was a big deal!

I had missed an orientation day because I screwed up the dates (and then my husband had unexpected surgery on his toe which would have meant we couldn’t make it anyway). I’d had a couple of false starts trying to get to the uniform shop (see – I messed up their opening hours then too haha). I hadn’t submitted my online booklist order on time, so had to send Mr Unprepared out to scramble for each individual item (which made me nervous because obviously if we got the wrong stuff we’d be outcasts forever haha). I was also feeling like a hot mess for a variety of reasons that had nothing to do with the the Little Mister’s schooling. I was not on top of things. I really was not. Even reading this paragraph back tells me that I was not in the running for “Mum of the Year”.

This year, I feel a little more settled. I know the school. I know the Little Mister has come a long way since the beginning of 2016. I’ve met a bunch of really nice school mums and I know I will meet a whole bunch more. I’ve got my shit sorted on a nice calendar now, which I keep updated. I have planned the final weeks of the school holidays so that I have everything done in time.

But still, I feel nervous. Of course I don’t show the Little Mister this and I really hope he can’t tell. He gets nervous enough on his own, truth be told.

I feel bummed that it’s not all holiday fun and games right now in my head anymore (even though that kid is driving me up the wall and ultimately I will be grateful to have dropped him off that first day haha).

I feel silly for being nervous and I feel like I’m wasting these precious last weeks worrying about school stuff when there’s still fun to be had. I’ve really got to get over myself! Just tick something off the list and then go have a blast, Kez. Seriously, woman!

Just like last year, we will survive this one too. I was struggling to get my head around a whole lot of stuff in 2016 (finally beginning treatment for infertility for one and in all honesty grief – grief that my little boy was starting school already and had no siblings that I’d always hoped to give him by the time he started kindy) and I think I should be kind to myself. It was a rough and scary year from beginning to end.

2017 may or may not be any better, but at least I will kind of know what to expect (probably jinxing myself right there).

Awesomely a little less unprepared, maybe?

Maybe one day, my heart won’t leap up into my throat when my child starts a new school year. Please tell me this gets easier! Lie to me if you have to!

Does anyone else get nervous like me? Am I …normal? Or a silly freak? 

 

Taking Stock: January 2017.

Wow. You guys. We made it through 2016 and out the other side! It was a crazy year for me. Hard work, emotionally. And physically too. I would be lying if I said I’m not hoping that 2017 will be a little easier. Even just a little. I’m kind of tired, y’know? But I did learn so much about myself. I have definitely grown (2016’s manure was definitely a great fertiliser haha) and I think that’s what life’s about. We don’t always get what we want, but we get the lessons we need to learn. I would just like a less jam packed curriculum in the school of 2017, please! Maybe even a bit of a metaphorical summer holiday where everything’s amazing!

Every couple of months I ‘take stock’ and I am so glad that I get to do one in the new year. Feels right!

Making: A final decision on something that I was turning over in my head a bit towards the end of 2016. I think it’s the best thing for me and I’m glad to have some clarity.

Cooking: Nothing. Because I’m sitting in my bed! But maybe later I’ll make some pancakes. I’m just not ready to eat super healthy again yet – damn festive season!

Drinking: Sometimes it’s the only comfort when that time of the month arrives (despite my best efforts). Having a glass of wine or a cocktail is like a big ‘fuck you’ that helps me move on.

Reading: Is something I’d like to do much more of in 2017. I’ve started a Goodreads account and everything. It’s not so much a strict resolution for the year, but just something I’d like to quietly work on. I know this sounds dumb, but I was watching Pretty Little Liars last night (wild NYE obviously) and each time a character held a real, physical book in their hands I craved that feeling. While I do a lot of my reading electronically, I would love to pick up a select few paperbacks just to have that feeling. Might have to get rid of a lot first to make space though haha.

Wanting: Like I said in my little intro paragraph, I want 2017 to be easier. Sure, throw me a few life lessons, but make sure some really big, awesome stuff happens too, please!

Looking: A bit tired, bloated and fed up! I haven’t dressed nice in days or made an effort with make up etc. I can’t wait to return to the land of the living!

Playing: A snapchat video my brother sent me. Of him listening to the Cranberries’ Zombie in a club of some sort in Thailand. It’s kind of a family joke, because when the song first came out in the 90s, I played it over and over (and over and over) and my parents still hate it haha. We send it to them whenever we hear it!

Deciding: that while it really really sucks right now that my shark week is in its worst phase, I will make the best of this day, because it’s a new year and I want to start it with a positive attitude.

Wishing: For everything I didn’t get in 2016. I hope I’m blessed with those things this year. I hope this gets easier.

Enjoying: the fact that it’s 2017. YES. The dying days of 2016 (pardon the expression) were just agonisingly long for me!

Waiting: for the Little Mister to come barging into our room to greet us. I’m gonna yell ‘happy new year’ at him haha. (he did and I did)

Liking: My social life these holidays. I feel like I’ve struck a balance that suits me as a slightly introverted extrovert.

Wondering: If the Little Mister is going to be a furniture removalist when he grows up, because he’s always trying to move stuff and put it where he wants it. So annoying!

Loving: Slow movie days with the Little Mister when we’re all tired. We watched Matilda yesterday and everyone loved it.

Pondering: On what I achieved in personal growth in 2016 and what I can improve on in 2017.

Considering: Whether or not to pause this blog post and lie down or to keep soldiering on. I think I’ll keep going haha.

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Buying: My last online purchase was to support #fashionforaleppo by ordering a couple of fabulous tops from the Sunday Soldiers website (they’re an amazing local business)! I think we can all agree that what is happening in Aleppo is awful and Elise from Sunday Soldiers (in collaboration with a couple of other great little businesses) are actually those amazing people who are actively trying to do something about it. Consider making a purchase (literally 100% of the proceeds go to the cause) and help them to spread the word! (not sponsored)

Watching: The Little Mister running in circles around the living area of the house. HOW DOES HE HAVE THE ENERGY?

Hoping: Everyone has a great 2017. Not everyone will, statistically, but I hope that the good will outweigh the bad.

Marvelling: at how much emphasis we all put on a new calendar year beginning. Even though it’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years, it still seems to resonate with us that a new year means a new start. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. Whatever motivates us to keep trying to grow and improve is fine with me! The trick is to keep it up all year long!

Cringing: at the fact that Donald Trump begins his presidency this year. Eep!

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Needing: to hire a Lego Nanny (TM). I invented that concept in my head. A person you can pay who will always want to build the more challenging Lego things with your child whenever they nag, so you don’t have to.

Questioning: whether I really should have had pancakes. I feel a bit gross now haha.

Smelling: the scent of pancakes in the kitchen.

Wearing: a massive oversized off the shoulder top because I’m chilling around the house and it’s comfy. It’s amusing how every time I wear it, the Little Mister tells me to put it back on my shoulder because it’s ‘falling off’.

Following: my instincts more would be a good thing to do this year. I ignored them recently on an issue, and learnt the hard way!

Noticing: That all the Christmas stuff needs to come down today. Or could I make that tomorrow? Sigh.

Knowing: more than ever, who I am, what I want (and will/won’t accept) in life, and what I have to offer has been the biggest gift 2016 has given me.

Thinking: All the time. Overly so!

Admiring: you for reading this. I know these kinds of posts aren’t for everyone! Thanks!

Sorting: my house and my life out will feel really good this new year! I started decluttering both physically and emotionally last year and I will be continuing that process. It’s been so good for me.

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Getting: over my renewed carb/sugar addictions will be a massive relief. Let’s just say I’ve partied hard in the food department over the Christmas/new year break and I am not actually feeling any better for it haha. I feel so lethargic and unmotivated and I know it’s because of the stuff I’ve been eating, but I am not quite ready to stop! Oops.

Bookmarking: the website of the new fertility clinic we’re attending this year. We’ve decided to change doctors. Can’t talk about that right now. But it’s a good move for us.

Coveting: more off the shoulder dresses/tops. I am obsessed.

Disliking: Social media people who are all about ‘likes’ and shock factor and clickbait. It gets old. Just be yourself. Don’t sell out. Keep your integrity!

Opening: My fitbit app every five seconds lately. Addicted to syncing it. Even though I’ve been doing crap all haha.

Giggling: on Christmas day while trying to fill my #quickcouch (a weird gift from my brother which brought many priceless moments) with air (and watching my family trying to as well) was probably my favourite memory of the day.

Feeling: tired but OK. And OK is much much better than bad.

Snacking: is a real problem.

Helping: the Little Mister to get ready for bed last night was so lovely. He’d had his first real NYE fun with the kids next door and was decked out in glow sticks and was all cuddly and ready for bed because it was a bit late for him.

Hearing: The damn cricket. Because Mister Unprepared has left it on, even though he’s not even in the house right now. As you can tell, I’m not a fan.


What are you up to right now?

Happy new year!

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2017.

A little while ago, I took some time to reflect on the year that was: Oh, 2016, you were a complicated beast.

Now, I would like to look forwards in time. What will 2017 have in store for me? What are my goals? What would I like to continue?

I feel like I’m going to leap into 2017 feeling awesomely unprepared (see what I did there?) and oh my goodness, if the last couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that life will never cease to surprise me.

Still, here are some things I would like to see! Whether life has other plans or not, remains to be seen!!

Goals:

Fertility

While I don’t really feel like writing about it anymore (it can be draining), it would be neglectful to not mention this: Some fertility success would be ideal! While I can’t control the outcome so I don’t feel like it’s an actual ‘goal’ so much as a dream, I do hope I can aim for being much more pro-active in the care I receive. More assertive when it comes to dealing with specialists. I spent a lot of 2016 finding my feet. I hope 2017 can be about Getting Shit Done and making sure the right people are helping me to GSD (Get Shit Done).

Finish the Lady Cave

This epic saga has dragged on for so long it’s embarrassing. I bought most of the furniture. I cleared out most of the junk from the room. I just had trouble directing the moolah towards getting new carpet (by ‘trouble’ I mean I always found other things to do/think about), and motivation towards moving the last of the heavy furniture from the room. It’s a bit crazy, how slow I’ve been at this. I’m sure you could analyse me and find some kind of deep seated emotional/psychological block that’s been holding me back! Either way, I am so ready to make this happen. A little bit of Christmas gift money and Mr Unprepared being a magical furniture removal fairy yesterday while I was out, has made me feel much more enthusiastic!

Now that I write a lot more and I work on my computer a lot, I am more than ready to have my very own blogging lair.

*evil laugh*

Support more small creative business

I know I practically live at Kmart or Cotton On or some of the bigger chain stores. Sometimes my wallet (and my time) can only stretch that far. But there’s something I really want to do. I want to spend 2017 thinking more locally too. There are so many unique things out there: clothing, gifts, etc. Stuff that would not only make my life at least 67% cooler (don’t fact check that statistic I just totally made up), but that would allow me to support those who are out there doing their small creative business thing. I have some special peeps on my wishlist. I’m going to stop talking about it and I’m going to start doing. Because some of that stuff doesn’t actually cost an arm and a leg like I used to believe! It might take a little extra planning but I think it will be well worth it!

Record my happiness more

I’ve written a lot of happy lists on this blog, but they have been quite sporadic lately. I’ve decided to participate in #100happydays to keep me creative and in a positive frame of mind. I start on January 1st, 2017. You should join me! Just register at the website and get started – you can choose your own start date too! I really hope I can stick this one out. Or at least get to 100 within the year haha.

Things I’d like to continue in 2017:

  • Living healthily and striving towards my goal weight. I did so well this year, losing 5kg. I can’t wait to smash the final 3-4 I have left to lose. It really worked well for me, using the school term as a timeline for being really disciplined. If it ain’t broke!
  • It took me until the end of the year to get my shit together, but I finally started using online calendars to organise my life. I feel so much more in control now, so there’s no way I’m going to give that up! Note to self: figure out how to stop getting reminders via email. SO ANNOYING.
  • I’ve made some social changes in 2016. I’ve really enjoyed developing friendships that make me feel good about myself (and hopefully feeling like I do the same for them). I’ve redefined some boundaries and I’ve found my tribe/s. It feels good. I feel much more secure and happy friendship wise than I have in years. I want to stay on that path.
  • Adventuring. I did so much of it this year and it saved the way I look back on 2016. We already have a trip planned for March and we’re working on an idea for July. SO EXCITING.

What do you want to see happen in 2017? Do you set goals or resolutions, or would you rather poke your eyes out with a blunt object?